Comments

1

Pretty much anything stolen downtown will end up on 3rd between Pine and Union at some point. There's almost always a few guys hanging around trying to sell crap stolen from Target/Payless/Walgreens/Bartells.

2

This is great! I lived in Portland for a year and had my bike stolen twice, both times from work, two separate work places. Once in a warehouse where the thief watched me go in a back entrance that you had to traverse a private parking lot monitored by cameras. I pulled my bike about 30 yards into the warehouse where I could typically see it while working but unfortunately didn't lock it. Guy waiting until we all happened to have our backs turned and ran in and grabbed it. The place was covered in cameras too. That time I went to all the bike chop camps I could find and luckily got it back before too much damage was done.

The Second time, I was working as a bartender, where me and one other coworker put our bikes in a "secure" bike room that only the 6 employees had access, unfortunately their were windows in said bike room and thief went ahead and busted out said window and made off with my bike once again. This time I was not so lucky in finding it despite probably 40 or more hours digging around camps, searching craiglist etc. for it. When bikes are your only transportation method, you tend to get really attached. And that was my first "nice" bike.

Moral is, register your bike, get renters insurance that will cover it if stolen, and lock your bike as much as possible even if it seems like overkill.

3

I thought you all hated private property and believed in economic redistribution?

6

Christ almighty. They need to teach this shit in school.

How to lock a bike:
1. buy fuck-you heavy hardened chain (10mm links or thicker) and padlock. The ones you want are usually marketed as motorcycle locks. Do not bother with u-locks, they are bullshit. Kryptonite, my ass. Carry across your body or wrap around your frame. This isn't the tour de france, you're not in a race. If the extra 5-10 lbs bothers you at first, just think of the extra exercise you're getting. It'll come off your fat ass soon enough if you actually ride.
2. Lock your bike through the frame, through whatever wheel is easier to remove or harder to replace, and through something immobile and harder to break/cut/move than the chain. If a tweaker can kick whatever you've locked it to until it breaks (wooden bench, whatever), they will. Then they will carry off your bike and cut the chain in privacy at leisure. Don't lock it to a flimsy parking sign or meter - if they lift your bike over the top, it's gone.
3. Embrace the ugly. Your beautiful bike does not ride any better than my superficially ugly one. Probably worse, because I pay a lot of attention to maintenance and component selection but I do NOT buy billet bling and I let the paint job get real ugly (I do wire-brush and touch-up dings and rust spots with mis-matching paint. The point is to protect the frame.)

Am I victim blaming? Yes. Fashion victim blaming. Even if you, as a trustafarian, can afford to replace your trick bike semi-annually, you do us all a disservice by supporting the street economy of bike theft. MAKE YOUR BIKE HARD TO STEAL, ASSHOLE.

That is all.

7

OK, I was pretty angry there and veered away from how to lock a bike into more general agitation about preventing bike theft, and forgot the most important rule. Rule 0:

Lock your bike as if you're going on vacation every single time you turn your back on it or are more than an arm's reach away even if you're staring at it. Do not "just run in to 7-11 real quick" or whatever. Do not trust your coworkers or the security of your "bike cage." Lock your bike fully, every single time. Lock your bike when it's in your shed, your backyard, your hallway. EVERY TIME, EVERY PLACE, NO EXCEPTIONS. Lock your bike properly. IT'S NOT HARD, YOU LAZY FUCK. LOCK YOUR BIKE.

9

So where / what is the market for stolen bikes? The thiefs must be able to convert them to cash quickly somehow.

10

@9- there were maybe some clues planted in the article.... Figure it out, super-sleuth.

11

@4 And at least with bike theft the economic redistribution is direct with no government bureaucrats taking a cut. You'd think Seattle's anarcho-socialists would embrace this model.

12

@10. Yes, because all the tweakers out there have computer access and Craigslist accounts and places to store their stolen stuff and places other than dark alley meeting places where they can easily turn a stolen bike with a missing wheel or chopped parts into cash in 10 minutes or so. There is clearly a "market" out there to process and distribute the goods, with a few pennies to the thiefs. But you might have to think about it rather than just being a fucking asshole, so that is not an option.

13

What's the old saying about a conservative is just a liberal who has been mugged?

If you ask me, every time a bike gets stolen, an economic conservative fairy gets his wings.

14

@2- If you know where "bike chop camps" are, please call either the police or a bunch of large guys with baseball bats.

15

Watching Seattle leftists finally getting tough on crime. I'd cry if it wasn't so damn funny.

17

@16 Seattle leftists are like people who feed pigeons in the park all day and then wonder why there's pigeon shit everywhere.

18

Glad you got your wheels back. But In/Out, grabbing 1-2 things. Always Lock Up. I'm sure you know already. I use this...locks front wheel and frame...https://www.kryptonitelock.com/content/kryt-us-2/en/products/product-information/current-key/002116.html?type=bicycle

19

@6 a u-lock may be okay if combined with an additional lock as part of a belt-and-suspenders approach. Most thieves will see a bike that's double-locked and pass it up in favor of an easier target.

My personal choice is an Abus Bordo foldable. It's pricey (I paid about $120 5 years ago) but impossible to breach without a grinder. It's also way easier to get around posts and racks, and it stows quickly and compactly. Much less cumbersome than a heavy-duty chain, and lighter.

If you have security skewers on your wheels, it may be the only lock you need. But I also have a good-quality coiling cable lock (also Abus) which secures my Brooks seat to my rear rack. When I need extra peace of mind, I can stretch that out enough to also thread it through the frame and a rack or post. And it's a combination lock, so if I lose my keys I still have a way to secure my bike.

20

@13- I have no idea why you think that being opposed to bike theft (or other crime) makes you an economic conservative. Liberal ideas are in no way incompatible with an expectation that people will refrain from theft, robbery, murder, etc. In fact, I'd argue to the contrary.

As a counter-example, we have a fine example of an economic conservative who is more than willing to commit any number of crimes including money laundering, wage theft, corruption, and possibly treason in the White House as I write this.

21

"He checked sites like Offerup and Craigslist; stolen bikes crop up on there a lot. That's where people move stolen bikes and there are known, repeat offenders. "

How about we publish the names & addresses of said "known, repeat offenders"?

22

@15-17 IS THIS SOMETHING YOU CAN SHARE WITH THE REST OF US AMAZING LARRY????

23

@12- tweakers and junkies are amazingly resourceful at being tweakers and junkies. Craigslist accounts are free and as long as the Seattle library system remains open to all they have internet access. But yeah, my response was snotty, my apologies.

24

I remember this bike. I watched the guy steal it, confronted him and he claimed it was his. I ended up walking back home for a piece of paper to leave a note and my number on the bike in hopes the owner would call (he did!) and I could give him a detailed description of the guy. I also called the police. I also(!) called my mom who I knew was out and about and could keep her eyes peeled. Alas! She spotted said bike-thief WITH THE BIKE at the park behind Pike Place Market and I was able to give the bike owner my mom's number! Anyway -- sorry the mother-daughter-duo couldn't have helped ya more, brother. But, as a fellow bike commuter, I'm glad you got your babe back.

-Brandy


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