What They Really Think of Us

Subjects of The Stranger's News Coverage Regret a Lot of the Things We've Said About Them in the Last Year


I regret not saying more things about the stupid tunnel.
@1 I regret Will putting the word "stupid" in the wrong place in the above sentence.
Let's clue poor Kurt Groenig in on the fact that he won't find that "teach a man to fish" adage in the Bible. It's an anonymous quote. But his screed does illustrate just how little some self-described "Christians" on the Right actually understand about (and practice) Christianity. In point of fact, Jesus would have hectored, berated, and pleaded with us to feed the hungry. Period. With fish, or whatever was on hand. That's how He rolled.
I regret 1098 not passing. :(
"I believe that people have to work for a living, and should work for a living, and shouldn't get handouts. I didn't get handouts. I was a farm worker."

Hang on, *hold the fucking phone*. Where exactly do all those farm subsidies go again?!
For Timmy's sake, it's a good thing we haven't kneecapped the initiative process by requiring a 2/3 majority.

Also, is it just me or is SCAT a really shitty acronym?
I regret replying to APs like @2 even though they're probably paid by the Tunnel backers and their spouses/girlfriends.
@4 for the win.

I regret assigning the win so often, but it's like fist-bumping ...
I regret immediately thinking of poo when I saw the acronym SCAT.
Rasmussen wins with My question for Dominic and Dan: Will it get better?"

Groenig loses with his fake Jesus quote "We need to do more like Jesus said, which was teach people how to fish instead of keep giving them fish."
I regret all the times I participated in flamewars on Slog, AND I regret all the times I wrote up half or all of a post in a flamewar and then checked myself and didn't submit it.

Also, Kurt does realize that Jesus' entire role in the New Testament IS as a giant handout, right? No. Of course he does not.
"I didn't get handouts. I was a farm worker."

on a farm that got govt handouts. good work.
I regret not living in Seattle so I could vote for Mike Heavey. He's dreamy.
i regret that i waste so much time reading this half assed paper run by people who'd rather be doing other things, degenerate potheads, and idiotic drunks
I regret reading the words of self-pitying, victim-card-playing teabaggers.
@7, @8 I regret double posts. Usually the first one appears and then I see something that slipped in before the rest.

@12 if it weren't for farm subsidies the budget would be in the black and your cell phone and internet bill would be half what it is now.
"I just know when I take a stand, and people don't like it, people on the left, they don't have nothing to stand on so all they seem to do is bad-mouth people and call them derogatory names or threats."

Jesus tapdancing christ. I bet this asshole wants an amendment making English the official language of Washington State.
I regret all the wealth-crazed Republicans and Tea Baggers going bezerk in 2010 and running amok, and the fools who blindly support them.
I regret that the Grease Monkey script I run blocks Will in Seattle on Slog but not here.
I regret that I sometimes forget that the word "news" means different things to different people, no matter how poorly researched or biased.
I regret, for the second year in a row, that the wrong daily metro newspaper went out of business first.

I have learned to laugh at what passes for journalism.
the picture makes me happy--it makes it seem like the only people the stranger has pissed off are cranky white dudes.
I regret my participation in the Slog gift exchange, because now I'm stuck with a goddamn Jonas Brothers Blu-Ray. Damn you, Mr. Savage.

I also regret reading most of the Slog comment section, since it makes me despair for humanity. Are there really this many xenophobic, ultra-conservative, relentlessly douche-y assholes out there, or are they just particularly pre-occupied with posting here?

I regret seeing "The Penitent Man" at the SIFF this year. Who the fuck thought this was a good movie?
Poor Mr. Groening doesn't realize that the Teabaggers picked that name FOR THEMSELVES as a poor attempt to reference the Boston Tea Party without consulting Urban Dictionary first. I bet whoever made that call regrets that.
I regret banging WillInSeattle's mom while he was pregnant with him and donkey punching her- the lack of oxygen seems to have made one of the most annoying Seattleites ever.
I regret my last partner....I regret buying a taco from the taco truck. Regrets are like assholes, we all have them. Its a new year, lets try to do better. I know I will, How about all of you?
I regret thinking that all the people pictured in the above article have punchable faces.

Oh, wait. I don't think that.
I regret not living in Seattle and working for the Stranger so I could get blown by Mike Heavey.
You nave to hand it to the conservative's puppet masters: they are absolutely geniuses when it comes to harnessing, and then nourishing, that selfish, ignorant, self-pitying vibe that is so prevalent in the so-called "heartland" areas of the country. (yes, it's in the cities too, but in much smaller numbers, and no one cares what those people think in cities)

If conservatives like this tea partier would just be honest with themselves, instead of always looking for someone to blame for their personal problems, this country would be a lot better off. And if they would just recognize that their dull little lives will never be as exciting as their favorite TV show, the burden they place on social services would be greatly reduced.

But then, conservatism is founded on the principles of fear of the unknown, self-pity, easy answers, and willfull ignorance. Why think when someone can do it for you?
I love when supposed Christians think they are quoting Jesus AND THE DON'T DO IT! I challenge tea party dude to find where Jesus taught "people how to fish instead of keep giving them fish." DO IT TEA PARTY GUY!
I regret that people like Jean Vanier and Jimmy Carter have to share a religion with people like Kirk Groenig, who knows neither text nor subtext of the gospels.
Actually, wasn't it Jesus who gave everybody free wine at the wedding at Canna (sp?) and made the loaves and fishes last enough to feed the crowd at the Sermon on the Mount (or someplace)? And didn't he provide free healthcare from time to time?

I was raised Catholic, so we didn't fuss much with the Bible - no memorizing verses or any of that nonsense - but I seem to remember those stories. He sounds like a Socialist to me.

Apple subsidies in Yakima County:
Number of Recipients 1995-2009: 1,291
Subsidy Total 1995-2009: $48,071,387

No handouts, eh? It could be that he has never personally received money from the government, but that doesn't make the quote "I didn't get handouts. I was a farm worker," any less ridiculous. Farms get government handouts all the time. If you believe in trickle-down economics (and a dollar says most Tea Party people do), that's the same as a handout to their employees.
"FUCK THE POOR!" Jeezus shrieked as he climbed into his golden chariot purchased with the proceeds from the sale of his mega-ministry to a syndicate of Roman bankers, "it's every man for himself!"
i regret living in the same state as tim eyman. "whatever" is the whine of a self-pitying teenager - not the defacto governor of washington state.
I'm sure that I must regret something but I just can't think of what it is right now.
I regret that as a Star Wars nerd, I share a common interest with Tim Eyman.
I regret that I tend to agree with Hitchens these days, that the chance that someone's religious beliefs will cause him/her to uphold oppression and provide permission to commit crimes against humanity is high.

Just once, I wish someone who proclaims to be Christian explain to me where in the Gospels it promises that followers get to store up wealth for themselves? In all my years of study I have yet to find it. I do find a fair bit of, radix omnium malorum avaritia (the early Christian acrostic, ROMA) or "Avarice (or greed) is the root of all evil.

Perhaps this is why many of the consevative Christian faith, like our Mr. Tea Party Member, are grumbling? They found the passage that supports storing up wealth. As I read it, the practice of compassion found in the Gospels means both charity and justice. Charity, direct philanthropy, is rarely offensive, but social reform and social transformation or justice, which seeks to change the social systems (political, economic, culture attitudes) is offensive.
I regret that working hard on a farm without any help from the government is a fancy way of saying receiving farm subsidies from the government to farm.

Doublespeak, much?
Uhhh, The Stranger is a solid paper, one of the few examples of journalism and a wonderful blog.

It is also funny.

Grow up grandpa, It isn't alternative or a satire paper, its a real paper and if you notice any difference between The Stranger and other paper it's just the widening gulf between quality newspapers and boring corporate shells.
Rewind @ 38,

I neglected to type that I was paraphrasing Marcus Borg twice, with the ROMA acrostic and with the charity isn't offensive but justice is.

Yes, I paraphrased both an atheist and a member of the Society of Biblical Literature, and a Hundere Distinguished Professor of Religion and Culture in the same post and it made smile that they both came to mind. In my opinion they both are treasures.
I regret how long this thread is, and the utter inability of middle class Seattleites to realize they're paying for the rich people's vanity projects.
I do hope Burgess runs for Mayor in 2014, he'd surely lose. Maybe in 2012 he'll lock himself in his anti-gay church away from those people in South Seattle and try to pray away the sin and shame of giving token donations to WAFST for a very long time and come out in 2014 -- but not the gay "coming out" -- thinking it's time for his glorious ascent to the throne of Seattle. It would be appropriate, seeing as he campaigned for the 2009 election in 2010.

His campaign slogan would be "Does this liberalism make me look hellbound?"

Do it, Tim! TIM BURGESS 2014
Also, Tom Rasmussen is the most delicate flower on the City Council. You just want to hug his face and tell him it'll all be okay.
I regret that it took 17 years to end DADT, and that I'm now too old to go back in and finish the military career I started.
Tea-baggers: fuck all of you, right from my heart. You're assholes dressed in American-flag underwear smeared with your shit.
"Teapartyidiotism" is the newest cancer attacking the human body politic.
Does anyone have a vaccine? Yes! I do! It's a three-pronged defense and prevention protocol:
(1) Education, education, education! Ignorant people fear what they don't know, and knowledgeable people are empowered to move beyond their selfish preoccupations.
(2) "You-nification" -- not "I-solationism" -- leads people out of the dank, noisome hell of narcissism and zero-sum greed.
(3) The Future: a vision of how we can improve the world by working together, not working against each other.
If these don't work, there's always amputation. If we keep getting "Teapartyectomies" instead of finding a cure for the infection of destructive conservatism, we may end up with... surprise! a great place to live! One can only hope.
All those people showed up to hear Jesus talk, and there were only three fish or whatever and some bread. What did Jesus do? Tell people to go to the river and get a stick and some string? Suggest they build an oven and grow wheat? No. He said "I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry, or they may collapse on the way." And he fed them.

And then they crucified him .. Gronig, you are getting off lightly by people calling you a teabagger, by comparison.
I don't regret berating brown nosed supporters of the deep bore tunnel travesty fiasco scandal. I do regret being unable to expose legally prosecutable corruption within the DOTs so that the Alaskan Way Viaduct could have been demolished and the seawall rebuilt sooner.
I regret that Mr. Groenig thinks it is okay to libel Jesus (unless he simply stated it, in which case he slandered Jesus) by attributing things Jesus never said and that aren't in the Bible to Jesus in order to pervert the message of the New Testament. I regret that people pretend to be Christian, but act as if they are too lazy to even be bothered to read a translation of the Bible and learn a little bit of what Christianity is about. If he truly thought that Jesus was divine and that worshiping him were the most important thing there was to do, then nothing would be more important to him than learning correctly what those teachings are. But clearly, that is a low priority to him. No, he goes around lying to others about what Jesus said. What is his motive? To pervert true believers? To spread a false religion? Nobody knows but him. But his fruits are clearly rotten.
Actually, the quote that the old dude is misquoting for his own benefit is Jesus telling the fishermen who would later become his disciples "I will make you fishers of men."

And it seems to me that the only people who have fulfilled that promise are gay men and the girls who used to hang out at Kurrent (sorry, there is no backwards K on my computer).
His name should be pronounced as "ME-man," not "I-man."
His stock and trade is narcissism, as with all his camp-followers, cheer-leaders and other assorted losers who lick out his toilet bowls, smiling all the while.

Simple Eyman was a pie-man, going to the fair.
He looked so glum, he stuck in his thumb,
and pulled out a great big turd
to feed
to the rest
of us.
@46 & 51:

THANK YOU! I could NOT have said it better myself!
What's dat shit Eyman is wearing in his pic? Is it his SuperDoosh costume? It needs some tailoring.
Note to Kirk Groenig:

The "teach a man to fish" thing is NOT in the Bible:

These passages, however, are:

Matthew 19:24(NIV version)
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Matthew 25:40(King James Version)
"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done [it] unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done [it] unto me."

Or, as the t-shirt I recently purchased puts it

"Jesus was a Jewish Socialist".
@5: Farm subsidies go to farmland owners, not to farm-workers; we should all know that "trickle-down" is bullshit. And they're a form of evil corporate welfare designed primarily to benefit agribusiness by making high-cost (petrol-based), environmentally-destructive, large-scale farming practices able to compete with smaller-scale sustainable farming operations (this was not the original intent, but what's happened over the last hundred years or so). On the other hand, they do allow farm workers to afford to buy the food they're growing, though obviously not Groening, as that would constitute him benefiting from a "handout" and I doubt he was paying much, if anything, in income tax working as a farm laborer.

Granted, in a truly free market like the one teabaggers like Groening claim to want (no worker protections, no unions, etc.), he would (as a farm worker) have been an indentured servant (or slave; bans on owning people are restrictions on the operation of capital markets, after all, since people are one of the most abundant resources to be exploited) with no ability to "[change his] circumstance through hard work." Or his job wouldn't have been available to him, as immigration laws that restrict the free movement of labor in response to market pressures (establishing differential market segments across national borders) are in opposition to flat-world single-market economics that characterize free-market capitalism in a world with instant-information-transfer technologies and fast, reliable long-range shipping technologies, and his job would have gone to a Mexican immigrant making a sixth of even his meager wage.

The whole "only hard-working people deserve to eat" argument kinda fails when our hallowed corporations are draining/scamming money from us here and stockpiling it while dodging taxes and shipping as many jobs as possible to totalitarian hell-holes like China, resulting in at least 10% unemployment (9.6% applying for benefits, plus those who aren't, plus those who aren't actively seeking paid employment, plus the invisible self-employed who have lost a lot of business, plus people who are still technically employed but have had wages/hours/benefits cut down to problematic levels, plus anyone else I missed). If you can give me an economic system that guarantees a living wage to anyone who wants to work, Groening, I'll agree with your "no handouts" position. Until then, you're just another privileged asshole who wants to exploit other (mostly brown) people to bolster your own material-quality-of-life. Fuck you.

I suppose it's not fair to expect un/undereducated Tea Party idiots like Groening to adopt consistent political/social/economic philosophies (i.e. immigration laws are a market restriction, so you can either back free markets or heavily-controlled immigration, but not both) when they have no idea what they're talking about and are simply taking talking points from the FOX "News" programming stream, but can I at least expect them to shut the fuck up concerning topics about which they apparently know nothing? Dealing with non-sequiturs and meaningless platitudes while seriously and thoroughly demolishing arguments for a government that does nothing except enforce contract law and private ownership rights is becoming extremely tiresome. As is the "Tea Party" re-branding of the Confederacy.

By the way, Socialists don't believe in "handouts" either; or I should say, Socialists actually don't believe in handouts, for anyone. We believe that everyone (who is able; what to do with those who are not able can be a point of heated disagreement, especially resources are insufficient to support the extant population and/or people continue to insist on having ten-child families) needs to work to have an economy that functions in the best interests of everyone (as opposed to, say, making money simply by virtue of having lots of money as in charging interest on loans or buying shares in a company and then selling them at a higher price or buying commodities not to put to productive use but to sit on until the price increases or exchanging currencies using a system where you sell at a rate higher than that at which you buy), because it's not fair to have assholes who sit around and leech off of the system while contributing nothing useful i.e. Capitalists exploiting a money-service-money model of exchange, especially where the "service" is of no utility value for human survival nor comfort. As such, Socialist systems (free-market, regulated-market, planned-market, command-market, null-market, or any other flavor) provide jobs for everyone via public sector employment so that everyone who wants to work and make a good life for him- or her- or hirself can do so. Welfare is required to make free(ish)-market Capitalism functional (well, to prevent the masses of starving/homeless people who can't get jobs because there aren't any from saying "Wait, why are we letting these few people control an inordinate amount of our resources?", taking up arms, and slaughtering the greatly-outnumbered wealthy). What are all of those unemployed people supposed to do? Responding "look for work and get a job" is simply delusional at this point, because the jobs just aren't there. "Starve" is a more realistic response, but it's not really a marketable political platform, and additionally you're running the risk of massively increased crime of the sort that disregards your precious private-ownership laws as people turn to theft out of desperation. You don't like handouts. Fine. What's YOUR fucking solution, asshole?
I regret my small penis.