Things for Dogs to Eat

The holidays can be a magical time of the year, unless you're a dog. For Fido, the holiday season can mean little demons yanking on his ears, riding him like a pony, and otherwise torturing him.

Do your dog a favor and get him Treatibles. While giving psychoactive substances to your pet is cruel, these treats contain no THC, just CBD, meaning they're not psychoactive. But they can "provide support for animals with a broad spectrum of conditions and help to facilitate calm and balance," says Treatibles' Marjorie Fischer.

Treatibles come in two flavors—pumpkin and blueberry—as well as two sizes, for large and small dogs. ($26 per bag for small dogs, $32 per bag for big dogs; available at All the Best Pet Care and Uncle Ike's Glass & Goods)

Things for Humans to Eat

Ethos Extracts' Activated and Unactivated THC Cooking Oils make perfect gifts for the person in your life who loves to cook. The activated oil doesn't need to be heated to get you high and is best used for finishing. Chef Monica Dimas says it would make a great green goddess dressing. The unactivated oil is best for baking, roasting, or anything that involves heat. ($30–$38 per bottle; available at Uncle Ike's)

Want to really buy Santa's favor? Leave a plate of SPOT Cookie Bites for him. They come in two holiday-appropriate flavors—chocolate chip and ginger molasses, which both contain five milligrams of THC. Made with Clean Green–certified pot, they're sure to leave Santa extra jolly. ($30 per bag of 12 ginger molasses bites, $18 per bag of six chocolate-chip bites; available at all major Seattle pot stores)

If you're the world's worst Secret Santa, stop by your local pot shop and grab the Zoots Holiday Assortment box on your way to the company holiday party. It's a multipack of Zoots' edible products packaged in a festive green box with a red cardboard ribbon. It looks just like a thoughtful gift. ($50–$55; available at zootology.com)

Things for Humans to Drink

Craft Elixirs are infused cocktail syrups that are perfect for general holiday entertaining or as a gift to the stoney cocktail nerd in your life. They come in a variety of flavors and sizes, including Capitol Hill Heat (habanero/smoke), Bagley Ave Brew (coffee/chicory), and Verdita Dragon (pineapple/lime/jalapeño). Ananda Green, manager of Ganja Goddess, says Craft Elixirs are a great option for people who don't drink alcohol but still want an "adult" beverage. ($15 for 10 mg, $38 for 60 mg, and $43 for 80 mg bottles; available at Ganja Goddess)

For a direct—and seasonally appropriate—route to getting high this winter, try Catapult Hot Cocoa Mocha, an infused mix of chocolate, THC, and marshmallows from Fairwinds' coffee brand. Makes a great stocking stuffer! ($10 per 10 mg pouch; available at Dockside Cannabis)

Also from Fairwinds Manufacturing is Deep Sleep Tincture, which has a one-to-one ratio of CBD to THC, so it will do for you what Treatibles will do for your pooch: chill you out in the midst of the chaos, confusion, and familial discord that is the holiday season. A dropper in some bedtime tea will melt away the aches, pains, and the long hours you spent politely listening to Aunt Edna talk about her local Rotary Club. ($38 for 100 mg; available at Uncle Ike's)

Ingestion Accessories

The Pax 2 is the iPod of vaporizers—portable, sleekly designed, and expensive enough to really prove your love to your health-conscious significant other. It's a little brushed-steel canister that vaporizes dry herb at various temperature settings. And, according to Ganja Goddess's Green, it actually works well, unlike similar products. ($279.99; available at paxvapor.com, Uncle Ike's, and Ganja Goddess)

The Joyboxx was originally designed as storage for sex toys. It's a box made with antimicrobial, phenol-free plastic and features a little lube compartment on top, a sliding clasp/combo padlock, and a tiny aperture on the back for chargers. At some point, Deborah Semer, creator of the Joyboxx, realized that it was the perfect stash box for pot, too. Indeed, the lube compartment is the right size for pre-rolled joints, the charger port in the back comes in handy for rechargeable vape devices, and the locking capability is ideal for keeping nosy roommates, kids, and pets out of your weed. For the packaging, she replaced a pair of sexy legs kicked up in the air with a big ol' weed leaf, and the "action shots" on the back now feature glass pipes instead of glass dildos. (Also, did you know there's a glass pipe that is also dildo?)

Joyboxx also comes with a "play tray," a removable plastic grate that one can use to set sex toys on after use. Semer and Green told me it's the perfect solution to an apparently very common Seattle problem: cat hair on your dildo. This gift is basically tailor-made for the pothead cat lady (or cat dude) in your life, which means I'll be buying several. ($37; available at Ganja Goddess)

If you're throwing a really insane corporate holiday party, you probably have an ice luge. No lavish shindig is complete without a big block of ice through which to pour shots of Malibu rum into the mouths of people you previously had a respectful, distanced relationship with. Now ganjapreneurs can enjoy the same over-the-top party experience with the NorthWest Ice Pipe. James Stugart is a Portland-based ice sculptor who can carve pretty much anything—including your corporate logo—into a block of ice and make a pipe out of it. (Pricing varies; nwicepipe.com)