Last month, Fox News decided to junk its long-running tagline "Fair and Balanced" for a new slogan, "Most Watched, Most Trusted"... and without even asking for our opinion! Here are some very suitable taglines that we think would be a much better fit. (You're welcome, Fox News, and you owe us $150,000.)

"Over One Million Racist Grandpas Served"

"Cloying and Moist"

"Sean Hannity Is a Butthole"

"Groping Blindly for Something That Sounds Like Truth"

"Dangling Jowls, Racist Howls"

"We Set This Pile of Horseshit on Fire, and You Love It"

"The Broadcast Equivalent of Putting a Lawn Jockey in Front of Your House"

"Heyyy, We Have Those Same TruckNutz"

"Singlehandedly Keeping America's Bow-Tie Industry Afloat Since 1996"

"Boys Will Be Boys"

"Don't Check... Just Trust Us"

"We're Totally Not Racist ;)"

"Wait... Are Women Allowed to Be Reporters?"

"The Future Home of State Media"

"The Muslims Are a-Comin' for Your Applesauce!"

"Bill O'Reilly? Bill O'Reilly Who?"

"I Killed a Polar Bear with My Bare Hands"

"Fewer Harassers, Same Great Dog Whistles"

"Going to Start Using the N-Word Any Day Now"

"America's Locker Room"

"We Have That One Gay Guy, So We're Good... Right?"

" !"

"A Better Way to Lie"

"Ask Your Uncle, He Knows We're Right"

"Cucks R Us"

"Blaming It on Obama Since 2008"

"News for Olds"

"Happily Fulfilling the Mission of Our Glorious Leader"

"Grabbing News by the Pussy"