I was fooled too, but it's only the opening that's sped up. Everything after the theme music is at normal speed and pitch.

"You would just assume" that it's not safe to put a condom on a phthalate-ridden sex toy? What? Don't assume, Dan. You're not right.

I can't drink because of a medical condition- I have a shitty bladder. My best friend also can't drink cuz of a bad colon. The recovering alcoholic should just say "I can't drink because of a medical condition." It's technically true anyway, as addiction is considered a medical condition. If they keep asking, she can just say she doesn't want to talk about it- they'll let it go.

Can they all be one-minute wonder shows, please? The concise tone of this show was refreshing.

A little unfair to qualify the former-swallowing wife as "misrepresenting" herself before the wedding. I used to be an enthusiastic swallower until I got pregnant. I had awful morning sickness, which led to...an unfortunate incident after swallowing my husband's come. Much like tequila, I cannot face the prospect of ingesting semen ever again (it's been 10 years). She may have gotten sick of it (or on it), or maybe something changed with the taste of his come. Either way, they definitely need to communicate better.

The last caller did exactly what Emily Watson and Stellan Skarsgard did in Breaking the Waves. I hope their marriage goes more smoothly.

Alcoholic caller - bring it up at a meeting, if your meeting involves discussion, or at after-meeting coffee, or with your sponsor. You are not (boy are you ever not) the first person in this situation, and there are lots of good ways to deal with it. In a way, it's part of your program - learning different tools for living, how to deal with unpleasantness or confrontation in a way that is healthy for you. Realizing that you can deflect someone's inappropriate question with serenity is one of the gifts sobriety gives you. Working through your feelings about all of this is part of working your program.

Re reading that, I realize non 12 step people are going to read that and think "what a load of shit" but it isn't, really. Alcoholism is in the body, sure, but a lot of it is bad old habits of thinking. New ways of looking at the world, the other people in it, and your interactions with them don't just happen, they have to be learned and practiced.

For the caller that Dan passed... I totally understand why he didn't answer it. The research is not yet conclusive, but the evidence points to synced periods as either an illusion or very rare. For one thing, women mostly don't have exactly the same length of cycle. If your cycle is 32 days and your friend's is 29, it might seem like your periods are synced at one point, but if you wait a few years, they'll "un-sync" because they'll be off again. It would be like seeing Ramadan happening in December one year and concluding that it's synced up with Christmas.

It is possible that women's cycles could sync up if their cycles changed length due to proximity, but it's also clear that this doesn't happen to all women.

Dan:

I always think your advice to couples about doing anal for the first time is great! The only thing I'm surprised you don't mention more (or maybe I missed it in the past) is the importance of prepping the anus with massage, tongues, or fingering. You probably have before, but anyway--lady anal caller, and anal lovers everywhere: let's hear it for the guys/gals that finger it first. So much easier for entry, and it gets me really in the mood for anal like nothing else can.

#FingerItFirst

(Dan, that should be a hashtag on Twitter)