Just gonna throw it out there... When you get calls from women who describe themselves as some litany of sexual minorities, i.e. Pan sexual, 2 spirit, 1/7th trans, little bit bi, girl from SF... Do you ever just say to yourself, boring straight girl who doesn't want to be? Because I kinda do.
In doesn't really work for what you're looking for, but I thought Cooch 'n Nelly would be an awesome name for a cop show starring the Bachmanns.
Cuccinelli: the mass of smegma that would amass within one's foreskin due to the crust that Santorum would form on one's penis if left unwashed for several weeks.
Cuccinelli - The reaction on ones face when caught by a third party doing any sexual act not related to vaginal intercourse. (ex. 'I walked in on him doing anal and the expression on his face was so Cuccinelli.')
Cuccinelli: 1.) a painful sex act which abuses womenโ€™s genitals in ways that may seem plausible in porn but lacks any connection to female pleasure, i.e. avoiding all foreplay, fingering with long fingernails, biting/smacking the clit, going in dry
Ex. After boastful description of cuccinelli upon cuccinelli, she was sure that his actual experience was limited to sex for 1.

2.) a person who acts in said ways out of selfishness and willful ignorance
Ex. He talked a good game, but when it came to oral he was a total cuccinelli.
My mother always said that while a poor man can get richer, and a dumb man might get smarter, a cuccinelli will never fuck you right.
Cuccinelli (n) - the act of performing cunnilingus in a daintily, apprehensive manner, such as how a closeted gay male would struggle through performing such an act.
A Cuchini is a camel toe pad and is sold on…
Okay, so a Cuchini, per justathought, is a pad sold on Amazon that is intended to disguise a camel toe. A Cuccinelli must therefore be a device to emphasize a camel toe. Possibly wearing a Cuccinelli shows that you're up for some sodomy because you have not just a republican-approved vagina but also a vulva (a portion of the anatomy that has no reproductive value whatsoever and is therefore despised by god and should be avoided during republican-approved sexual intercourse)? Maybe somebody could start producing Cuccinellis and selling them on Amazon and then donate all the proceeds to The Society For Sodomy.
A "Cuccinelli" could be an effeminate homosexual man (nelly) who pretends to be sexually attracted to women (cooch)โ€”perhaps to allay suspicions so as to avoid being arrested for breaking archaic sodomy laws. I imagine that a Cuccinelli would even support such laws. You know, to prove just how not-gay he is.
Cuccinelli- An infection resulting from going ass to mouth without regard for hygiene.
A Cuccinelli should probably have something to do with a drag queen tucking - thus creating a cooch o' Nelly?
Cuccinelli (noun): A closeted, self-tormented gay man who tries to pass as straight by marrying a woman. It's all in there: Cooch + Nelly.

Usage: "Bob became a cuccinelli because he was afraid of getting arrested for gay sodomy in Virginia."
Cuccinelli - a sex act often performed by Right to Lifers, in which a man's wife performs oral sex on her lawful traditional husband. After climax she must deposit the load in her husband's mouth, who then spits it into his wife's womb.

Ken gave his wife a cuccinelli, because all sex acts must end in procreation, even blowjobs.
Cuchinelly: the smell that cunnilingus leaves in the face.
I like #10. Since it was unregistered, I'll repost it:

"Cuccinelli- An infection resulting from going ass to mouth without regard for hygiene. "

As for the guy with dementia: I know an old guy who had a minor stroke and, after that, he because a sex-maniac at 86 years old. He basically couldn't be left unattended. Could be that he's not a life-long pedophile, but just had some sort of weird at-life's-end brain rewiring.
Oh, nudist parents. My parents fit every meaning of that term. They didn't wake me up for school naked, but that might have been because if I wanted to go to school I had to get myself up. I would see my mom running outside to go pee in the yard naked while I was getting ready for school.

The bathtub at our house was the view from the living room through a large picture window. So if you wanted to bathe, you had to do it in front of anyone who happened to be around. There were no doors or curtains on any of the rooms in the house, etc, etc.

When I was 3 my mom made us dolls that looked like my parents and were anatomically correct so we could make our parents have sex and then push a blobby baby doll up inside the mother and pull it out again to prepare us for my little brother's birth. Which I did watch sitting on the diaper pail for the cloth diapers, naturally.

Am I messed up about sex, of course. Is it because of this? I am not entirely sure. It all seemed normal at the time. I did get a bit uncomfortable seeing my brother and father naked when I was a teenager. But it didn't happen all the time.

One bit of solace, these kids will win the who had the weirdest fucking parents contest when they get to college. I certainly did.
Regarding the nudist parent, I think it is worthwhile to consider the historical human condition. Children in more primitive tribal villages were and are exposed to adult nudity pretty constantly. Heck, some tribes like to accentuate genitalia with jewelry and the like. Also, they will pretty frequently observe adults having sex, since at best, they live in huts. I suppose a couple could have a little tryst in the bush, but really, who has time for all of that sneaking around when everyone knows what everyone is doing anyway?

You know what? The children turn out fine as functioning and happy members of their societies. It's not something I do, but I think we drastically overestimate the damage of nudity and sexuality in children. Short of child rape, I suspect the damage is minimal to non-existent. That said, if a behavior is too far afield of societal norms, there may be peer pressure, shaming, and the like for kids to confront.
As Cuccinelli is so fond of heterosexual people, perhaps we should remind him of the less savoury sex acts they are capable of. I think that Cuccinelli should be slang for a sex act involving a ping pong ball, a woman with exceedingly strong pelvic muscles and a dude catching it with his mouth.
Can't get too excited about coming up with a meaning for Cuccinelli. I guess I like Coochie Nelly the best. But, sheesh, what an @$$hole!

Excellent advice for the daughter of the pedophile with dementia. The only thing I would add is: do you have a trusted family attorney? I wouldn't take this to a stranger, but it might be worth seeing if there's enough evidence there to prosecute the _source_ of the kiddie porn. Think of the children and all that. On the other hand, if there's a reporting obligation that supersedes attorney-client privilege, then just wipe the hard drive. Or if daddy was involved in making it and not just consuming it, which could be something that no one wants to find out.

Great advice to the lesbian pressuring her new GF to come out. It was never stated that the other girl was in college; I suspect that she could be younger than the caller by a few years and be in _early_ college. Or she could be a broke twenty-something out of college. Anyway, chill until the time is right.

Guess what? Same advice for the guy with "I love you" burning his tongue. STFU, dude. Keep seeing her, keep making her happy. When she's ready, she'll say it. Then you can say something like "I've known for months" or something like that. What's the hurry?

Being all coy and silly and making implications like Dan said will either piss her off, scare her away, or make her insist you tell her. Probably all three. Terry got real damned lucky that it worked with Dan. If I'd done that with my future wife, she would have been gone and we both would have missed out on what we've had for twenty-five years.
Oh, and put some clothes on, Mom 'n' Dad. You don't live in a jungle tribe, and if you think you are trying to "prevent your kids from getting the bodily and sexual hangups of our society" think real hard about how much of a favor you are really doing them. Then think again. You're playing with their heads just to prove your somewhat extreme philosophy.
And sexy, not horny, thoughts are common when drifting off to sleep. But I'm sure all the lesbians will let you know that. That's sure not an anthill that I would have, er, poked.
I love second #10 ("Cuccinelli- An infection resulting from going ass to mouth without regard for hygiene."), but wouldn't it make more sense for it to be a vaginal infection?

Cuccinelli - An infection resulting from going ass to vagina without regard for hygiene.


Cuccinelli - The thick, chunky, sometimes yellowish discharge that comes out of the vagina when one is suffering from a severe yeast infection.
@mpd- I figured I would stick to sodomy acts for the definition, but that could work too. I wasn't thinking necessarily an oral infection, just getting sick in general.

@Xando- I like yours even better than mine- an absurd act for an absurd and antiquated argument.
Wow, there are a few nudist/naturalist shamers around, aren't there!

My dad couldn't be bothered with clothes on the weekends, unless he was going out. As far as he was concerned, his house, no need for it. My dad used to (if he absolutely had to) strut from the bedroom to the kitchen for his pepsi and chips with whatever he had on, and that could include nothing.

My dad's nudity was not a problem for me. If people came into the house, he'd at least put underwear or a housecoat on while he was laying in bed watching TV (yes, he had the spoiled king's life). If his step-kids or grandkids were around, he'd cover up in a blanket if he didn't have underwear or a housecoat nearby, as a courtesy to them. It was truly no big deal for me.

By the time I got to be in my early, mid-teens, he was less naked around me, but I knew he wasn't wearing anything under his blanket, and it didn't even phase me.

Growing up with a naked dad and semi-naked mum didn't screw me up about sex or my body, just as seeing or hearing my folks have sex didn't either. Neither did porn.

And it sure demystified the male body for me; by the time it was my turn for knocking boots, the only surprise I ever truly experienced regarding a penis was with my first circumsized partner.

Oh Hell, a body is a body is a body. If you don't have one, well, then you're dead, aren't you. It's not something we have to hide, and by rule, in these deadly hot, humid summers, I ditch my clothes as soon as I get home, because there's no shame in being naked.
Wow! I am so surprised by how many anti-naked people there are here! The US is notoriously odd about nakedness but I guess I figured people who could love this podcast would be a little less puritan. Naked does not mean sexual. The guy wakes his kids up, how on earth does that equate to him wagging his dick in his kids faces. I wake my kids up dressed or naked as the timing permits and I have never needed to waggle my pussy in their face at any stage of the process. Usually I just use my hand to shake their shoulder, stroke their face and my mouth to say their name and kiss them. I guess I'm some crazy perv though. It's insane to me that the same people that can be okay with any kind of sexual kink (an awesome thing) find it "somewhat extreme" to be naked! We have one bathroom and so they see me naked in the shower when they need a pee and my husband the same. Being naked is also not the same as "parading around naked". I can be dressed and not parading around showing off my outfit, I can be naked and not parading around showing off my nakedness. Being naked is not a sexual act or I have been tarting around with doctors, swimming pool visitors, hundreds of people at various beaches my whole life. It's just a body get over it!
I like Xando's best. Next best I like the tuck one, zippyzippyzippy's--because that one could incorporate my idea of making a cameltoe enhancer, selling millions of them, and using the proceeds to unseat total wads like Cuccinelli. Nudist parents are no problem if you live in a damn tribe, but nobody lives in a damn tribe, damn it. Congratulations to you if, as a tot, whenever you were approached by a little friend with a shocked query about your naked dad you delivered to the little friend a polemic about health and freedom and fresh air, or whatever the HELL the unfortunate kids of the proudly nude are expected to say to explain their hideous parents, but please recognize that we are not all equipped to do that at seven. Nudist parents need to suit up, in my opinion. At least take a moment to slip into your Cuccinelli so that you can look your political best when your kids' friends come over.
Hey, cousine and I agree! ;-)

There's nothing wrong with an occasional, matter-of-fact bit of family nudity in the swimming pool dressing room or on vacation in a motel. But that's not what this is about. Routine nudity in an everyday, average American home is basically constantly asking for trouble. Best case: your kids will start to be really uncomfortable when their natural urges for privacy, which you have tried to sabotage, begin to kick in. Worst case: someone reports your naked asses to CPS with the best of intentions and the worst of understanding. If I recall correctly there was a movie in the 90's about that exact thing.

Besides. as I go about my activities at home, working in the garage, doing yard work, laundry, cooking, washing the dishes, all that stuff, I can't think of a single one of them that wouldn't be way more uncomfortable with no clothes on. I don't know about you but I like to protect my junk.
I'm from Richmond VA and didnt know all that. Thanks, Dan, I now know who I will not be voting for. The guy has been in the local news a ton. I didnt even know about all the anti gay laws here! thats awful. thanks for the info
One more definition for your consideration...

Cuccinelli - The act of trying to slip it in the back door (intentionally or not) while having PIV sex. e.g. "The sex was good until he pulled a Cuccinelli; as if I wouldn't notice."
I like #10, it's close to what first sprang to mind for me:
Cucinelli- The act of going ass to vag without wiping off first.

#31 is on point too. Insidious and sleazy like it's namesake.
Annnd #23 already said that. So I second #23.
About the nudity thing. My family and extended family were often nude. We have family photos of me and my siblings and my grandparents naked in our pool. My parents would change clothing with the door open. HOWEVER, this all stopped when I reached a certain age (by 5-6). I think that this was a great tool to learn about human anatomy BEFORE the human body was sexualized. And I think it also removed a lot of stigma about being nude. The only drawback? I'm probably too comfortable being without clothing in front of adult friends.
A woman taking care of her senile father discovers he is a pedophile--that sounds like the plot of a Booker Prize contender.
One more vote for ass-to-vag infection...
Cuccinelli: The act of eating pussy by a closeted gay man in a mixed-orientation marriage
Ahaha, the above suggestions are front-runners: ass-to-vag infection or accidental anal prodding during purported PIV sex. Xando's about the snowballing-into-womb FOR GOD is also outstanding.
On the nudity, my dad was only occasionally naked around me, on his way from shower to bedroom, and as a teenager I objected and he stopped. No big deal all around. But I think families vary hugely in their standards and I wouldn't have fussed about it as much as Dan did.
Dan- wanted to point out an org keeping an eye on Ken Cuccinelli in VA-
Their videos are hilarious and they're doing a great job of confronting him and his supporters!
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cuccinelli (cooch-A-nelly) n. anything eaten directly from the vagina. Related word: charcuterie
The lesbian couple is a hetero-swingers DREAM.
I, a hetero-flexible female, prefer to team up with females (the husband...prefers females too. Big surprise).

Yeah, yeah, 'swinger' sounds creepy, but it really ain't.

The funny thing about nudity in front of kids is that whether or not you think it's okay/normal has EVERYTHING to do with how you were raised. For the most part, people whose parents were nude in front of them don't really have a problem with it, and people whose parents weren't nude in front of them find parental nudity super gross. I don't know how people decide when their partner is from the opposite background.
I agree @45 - it's mostly about how you were raised. I was brought up in a "walk around in your underwear" family, and raised my kids with casual family nudity - no "parading around", but also no frantic snatching at dressing gowns when a kid walks in. From a parent, the important part is being aware of your kids' signals, so that when they start wanting more privacy, you start giving it to them. Part of that is raising kids who are comfortable giving signals to their parents, kids who know those signals will be respected.

So I'd say that with Dan's "nudist parents" - parents who make their kids uncomfortable with inappropriate sexuality - it's not the "nudist" that's the problem. It's the inability or unwillingness to respect the kids' boundaries. "This is the way things are in this house and the kids just have to put up with it" is just as assholish if it's nudity, or if it's going to church five times a week.

Treat your kids as actual members of the household, albeit ones with a limited vote on certain matters due to their inexperience, and you're not going to have a problem no matter how many clothes you wear.
I love the definition for Cuccinelli from @12. Seems the most descriptive and can likely find it's way into common the vernacular.
I'm glad some people are giving the nudist parents' perspective. Being a nudist parent is not the same as oversharing, Dan.

I'm not going to demand that my preteen daughter appear naked before me if she's not comfortable with it, and I'm certainly not going to walk around naked when her friends are around and embarrass her that way, but casual nudity is okay in my book if it's just her and me (or her father, when he was around).

Guess what? Kids are embarrassed about all sorts of parental departures from the perceived norm, including parents who speak a different language, parents who dress differently, parents who are more - or less - emotional than the norm... you name it.

I'd be surprised if you couldn't find children of gay couples who've felt embarrassed about *that*. You'll be lucky if your son doesn't feel embarrassed sometime at some of the things you write about your family life, evern perfectly "innocent" (i.e. non-sexual) ones. It's healthy for them to learn to work their way past such embarrassment.

My daughter was horribly embarrassed at eight when she asked me about some joke she'd seen or heard and I, in order to explain the joke, told her how babies are made. She told me she already knew but some kid at school had told her she "wasn't supposed to know". Should I have waited in order not to embarrass her? How long? Till she was thirteen and possibly having sex? Teens sometimes seem to live in a permanent state of embarrassment. In fact, some of them seem to be permanently looking out for new opportunities to feel embarrassed.

So yes, I will be the judge of which kinds of embarrassment it's important to spare my daughter and which kinds she can damn well learn to put up with because I think the principle's more important. Same as you, Dan, I'm sure. I'll listen to her opinion and try to accommodate her wishes, but it's my decision as an adult not to cringe and cower at the thought that my daughter might spot my genital hair (yeah, that's right, I don't shave - no Brazilians for me). If she grows up to share many of my values she'll probably be glad, if she grows up to reject them she'll probably feel like #17. That's life. [Shrug. Walks off wearing a bathrobe because of the cold and suddenly casts it off as a hot flush takes over.]
Coccinelli- the farting sound sometimes made by a womans cooch after being fucked or vaginaly probed
@46, exactly.

Well, @48. There's a reason why you're not completely getting why some of us are grossed out by "nude parenting." That's because you're not that kind of parent. OF COURSE you have to push kids' boundaries a little, if only to get to know what the boundaries are. And, you have to balance what you have to do to grow a person into a great adult, versus respecting that growing person's increasing rights to privacy, autonomy, etc. That means, at least, that you are aware of their needs and their current state of development. We, the *grossed-out* know or are thinking of parents who make no such evaluations for the good of the child. You in no way resemble those parents (except for your nudity, that is :-) ).
How about a Cuccinelli is like a Cuchini (see @8), but for men (ie, drag queens, or men who just want to cover up their business for whatever reason).

I like 5, 6 and "going ass to vagina" as definitions, as well.
@29, I thought immediately of "The Good Mother," from 1988. Which movie are you referring to?
The random pubic hairs one gets in one's teeth as a result of oral sex AKA sodomy.
wow. i can't be arsed reading all the comments today... but what kinda crazy people think that nudity has anything to do with sex?!? or that it's somehow 'inappropriate' to be naked in your own home?!? seriously disturbed people, i'm thinking.

for the record, my 14 year old was listening to this... and started saying "what? what the hell?! ...these guys are really obsessed with sex, right?"

being naked is not 'nudist', it's just normal human. we all arrived like that....
I was pretty shocked to hear Dan's freaked out reaction to being naked around the house with your kids around. I've been living in Europe for a while now and I guess I forgot how weird Americans can be about nudity.

I think it should be clarified that there's a big difference between being a "nudist" (see comment #17 for that) and the type of nudity being described in the call. My wife and I wouldn't think twice about walking from the bedroom to the bathroom naked or getting dressed in front of our 3 and 5 year old boys. We're a family - this is totally normal and there's nothing creepy or sexual about it. (In fact, thinking that there's something sexual about it makes YOU seem more creepy in my book.)

All that considered, you'd never catch me playing tennis, riding a bike or cooking bacon naked.

Think again about why you feel the way you do about being naked.
I'd tend to think of Cuccinelli as a synonym for man-pussy, i.e. the asshole of a bottom boy. Derived, of course, from Cooch + Nelly.
So when I hear Cuccinelli I think of: cooch, and cannoli. What came to mind to me was a vaginal canal filled with bacterial vaginosis; the yellow, fish smelling, slimy, curd like cream filling. BV is a sadistic, vial, and reoccurring condition that is difficult to get rid of, a lot like Cuccinelli.
Cuccinelli: The act of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich using a woman's brown menstrual mucus as jelly. (Best accomplished if the flow is particularly gelatinous, possibly in the last few days of the cycle.)

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