re: Choking... What about when the goal isn't breath play? ie I enjoy having my girlfriend's hand on my neck, gripping but not cutting off air, so that I know she _could_ choke me if she wanted to, or force my head to turn or look up... Is this just as dangerous as breath play, or is there a way to mitigate the risks of hurting fragile neck bits?

I noticed in the podcast that you initially said Maggie was from NOM (National Organization for Marriage) and later said she was from NOW (National Organization for Women). As far as I know, these are two separate organizations with one being about hate and the other being about helping women! Yikes!

Man, everybody was super whiny in this episode. And come on, Dan, the first caller either made up the story, or took some sort of perverse pride in calling you about it. You could hear the boast in her voice.

Bring back the one minute wonder show!

To the 22 year old poly girl, it sounds as if you saw this guy as a bit of a sexual mentor. He probably did not see himself that way, especially if he's not much older than you. Whether poly or mono, it's nice if an ex doesn't go out of their way to rub it in your face that they're with other people. But, he's not obligated to stay celibate until you're over him. If you live with him, you'll have to accept that you will see him with others. If that is too painful, perhaps try to move out? Seriously, you'll feel better once you do.

And remember, polyamory is not a fraternity or a cult. ;-)

What about non-breath control related choking? For me, what I find so hot about "choking" is not being unable to breath, but simply the physical position it puts me in. It's an extremely submissive pose for me, and dominant for my partner, having his hands around my neck. That's more than enough for both of us, without him needing to actually restrict my breathing. Sometimes he'll pull up on my chin a bit when he's choking me from behind to pull my head back, which is very hot, but I'm always able to breath, and if I ever find I'm having trouble I let him know right away. So maybe that's an option for people who are into choking but don't want to die? Just simulate the physical position to get the psychological effect, but don't actually put anyone at risk?

I am also a 19 year old (not so out) lesbian in the Tulsa area (when I'm not at college in the Western part of the state) and I was just wondering where this big gay population is at? Now I haven't really looked around for anything I guess but what is happening that I don't know about?