Savage Love Episode 246


I wanted to add a plug for John Corvino's article "Why Shouldn't Tommy and Jim Have Sex? A Defense of Homosexuality". Although the young woman on the podcast isn't in the best position to argue with her mom I think that the article is a really good resource for people confronting the question of nature and homosexuality. Corvino runs through five interpretations of "natural" and shows how none of them count against homosexuality. He also addresses the question of the content of the Bible and tries to indicate how homosexuality can be interpreted as consistent with the Bible. The important thing to remember is that arguments from nature do not address the moral question. If someone is against homosexuality on these grounds then in the interest of consistency should take a stand against plastics, glasses, lawn mowers....etc. One needs additional premises to move from somethings being natural OR unnatural to its being immoral. I can show that it is "natural" to eat ones own young but that doesn't mean that it is a good thing for me to eat my children. The moral argument does not hinge on nature.
For the girl who was forced out to her parents and they are freaking out.

Homosexuality, as Dan said, is entirely natural! There are hundreds of species that have been documented as having homosexual sex and relationships. Even in monogamous species it has been documented.

I keep birds and have bred them for a number of years, and have encountered several homosexual specimens in a variety of species. One of my oldest birds is male and was paired with and raised adopted chicks with his mate, also a male. He refuses to even approach a female of his species.

Being gay is as natural as being straight. Don't let your mom get you down - she has the wrong idea of things!
Re: Unicorns as queer symbolism, I remember hearing that a black unicorn was a symbol for sodomy hundreds of years ago when heraldry was big. However I have no sources.
The podcast cut out at 17:21... just ended. Any other way of hearing the full thing, or a fix on the way? Thanks!
Thank you for calling it her Hero's Journey. Love and love.
Just terrible advice to the poor woman trying to jumpstart her (oral) sex life with her boyfriend after having a child. Advising her to let him eat her out in a dark I'm blown away by the misogyny. It's one thing to tell her that she will have to speak frankly with her boyfriend about how to reconnect with her body in a sexual, pleasurable way. It's another to make her feel ashamed--telling her the birth was a "shit show" and that her boyfriend likely "regretted" watching the birth. Dan, what the hell are you thinking?
@6- I don't think there's any misogyny involved. I mean, I think people can find childbirth gross or not regardless of gender. This situation is equivalent to not wanting to give your boyfriend a rim job after taking care of him while he was sick with something that causes diarrhea. When a person has seen a vagina get up to 10 times its size and possibly have to be cut and god knows what else, it's difficult to look at it and see something other than the terrifying images. If he's not able to look at it because it's dark, it's probably less scary for him.
its interesting and well judged analysis is reflecting in this writing.
Is no one else appalled by his answer to the poor woman who found out at her local video store that her HUSBAND had been lying to her for their entire marriage? Listen to the call, Dan. It wasn't just a boyfriend, and she wasn't mad that he'd watched porn, and she wasn't calling to ask what to do about men watching porn. She asked how to get over feeling totally stupid and betrayed. You owe her a do-over.
@9- wasn't that not this podcast...? I commented on it on it in the thread for that episode.
for the girl in Rhode Island — there is an organization in Providence called YPI, "Youth Pride Inc", that works with & provides safe space for LGBTQQ youth from all over the state.

they can provide resources & people to talk to...

He overlooked a plausible explanation for the straight guy with the "gay" tramp stamp--the guy in question could be into pegging. The tattoo is a "landing strip" for women with toys.
Hey Dan, in response to your advice to the guy in Episode 246 who was enjoying post-relationship hate sex with the ex girlfriend that had cheated on him. You said maybe they should stay together. I think that's a terrible idea since he said, after the sex, he felt emotionally devastated. He needs to start over with a new, honest non-monogamous relationship with someone who hasn't cheated on him.
Michelle Bachman is the woman a closeted gay guy would marry to prove that he isn't gay.