I wish that those among the anti-{same-sex marriage} people who believe that the sex-acts those couples perform are immoral---that is to say, most of them---and who further believe that those same acts are immoral when mixed couples perform them---most of the first group---would mention this more often. For some reason, they don't---shit, I shouldn't be coy: it's because they're smart, and they know that they'd lose most of the electorate if they were clear that their real preference (heh) and eventual goal were to BAN BLOWJOBS.

If I had dominion over Election Day, I should require that all anti-{same-sex marriage} initiatives have a proviso reading "...and no oral or anal or manual sex for anyone, ever." Please help make this happen.
"Kardoucheians." I am so calling them that from now on.

I was so so so happy that Lucy was not on the show and so so so annoyed when you revealed you were filming in Seattle.

If you want her there, fine. But for the many that feel she has no insightful advice, can you please at least tell us why you think the show is better with her?
Um, how about not?

I think it was pretty clear from the first time Lucy was on that Dan had her there because the "tech-savvy at-risk youth" were not there, and he wanted a sounding board so he wasn't sitting in a room by himself talking into a microphone.

Christ, Lucy-haters are mad when she's on, and just as pissy when she's not. Let it go.
The difference is that the "tech-savvy at risk youth" are not actually ON the podcast. Dan can have Lucy in the same room with him without putting her on the air.

Anyway, it was nice not having her on. I hope that she is not on every time she is in Dan's presence. Once in a while is ok.
He was also not able to record any conversations with he probably didn't want episodes where it was only him responding to calls with zero dialogues between him & others.
Hey can we stop calling people who express negative opinions "haters"? Dan promotes his listener's input. Name calling is a cognitive bias and a technique used mainly by propagandists and children.
As much as I love Dan I was saddened by Lucy's absence today. I was glad to hear she'll be back next week. Lucy is funny and sweet and there's a lot more laughter and less bitching when she's on the podcast. Maybe that's your people's problem: you like bitching.
Dan, please send Lucy my appreciation.
A big fan of yours
Well, at least Dan warned us about Lucy for next time, so we don't have to wonder about it. I'm just sad I won't be looking forward to the podcasts every week any more. Hope Lucy is a thing for just a little while. It would be fine if she was like the "tech-savvy at risk youth" - in the room, but not on the microphone.
I really enjoyed Lucy being on the show. She makes a nice change of pace and comes across as being a fun and intelligent person. I like the way Dan can bounce ideas off her, and it's also fun to hear him provoke that shocked giggle out of her. They're obviously both having a good time.
Ugh, that call from the tearful woman whose boyfriend was pushing her into his cuckold fantasies brought back bad memories. I brought up the idea of a threesome to my now ex-husband, and he jumped on it (in retrospect, he might have been having some cuckolding fantasies himself). He did everything wrong--pushed me to sleep with men I found disgusting, didn't help keep me safe, walked out in the middle of our first threesome and left me alone with a stranger...he was a piece of work, and I was a wreck when I got out of that marriage, for that and other reasons.

I heard some of the same panicked, pressured voice in the caller that I reminder hearing in my own mind during my experiences. Her boyfriend sounds like he's essentially pushing her to have sex with people she doesn't want to have sex with. Regardless of the circumstances, that is messed up, self-centered, and creepy.

I thought Dan did a fabulous job of treating the caller very gently and helping her walk through an evaluation of what was going on. Thanks, Dan. Wish I'd had you to call during my bad times.
I'm also tired of the name calling. When I express my opinion about Lucy (or anything else for that matter), I don't call everyone who disagrees with me an "idiot" or "stupid" or "juvenile" or a "hater" or anything else negative. I feel everyone has a right to their opinion - and it's kind of sad that others don't respect that.

That being said, Dan is a big boy - he doesn't need someone directly on the podcast with him every time. I've listened to all of his podcasts up until now and it's obvious that he's fully capable of running the show on his own. But he will do whatever he wants to do. If he loses some listeners for a while because of that, then so be it. Every decision has consequences of some kind. You can't please everyone all of the time. So even though I do not enjoy listening to Lucy, I'm resigned to the fact that she might be around for a while and I *may* not listen to those podcasts. I'll live, and so will everyone else when she's gone.
This was a great podcast--one of my all-time favorites. But I'm very much looking forward to having Lucy back.
I was really so sorry for the woman whose boyfriend had cuckold fantasies -- she seemed on the verge of crying, and I could hear the self-hatred in her voice (the tearful 'he wants it so much, I want him to be happy, but I don't know if I can do this').

Why can't her boyfriend see this? Is it the case that his fantasy has blinded him to the feelings of his girlfriend? Or was he maybe actively emotionally blackmailing her, trying to manipulate her into doing what he wanted for his own reasons?

I hope she follows Dan's advice. And here's another example that people with submissive fantasies (like cuckold fetishists) can be as manipulative and abusive as any 'stereotypical' sadist.
I'm with the Lucy-likers. Hey, maybe Dan could do one Lucy-podcast followed by one Lucyless-podcast to satisfy both teams. :-)
Anybody else think Dan was kind of arbitrary in his harshness towards the first caller's boyfriend? We don't know enough to deduce that the boyfriend is playing mind games on her. It doesn't seem that he explained the fetish to her very well, but could it be that she didn't understand it because she was so new to it?

By the way, I like Lucy. :)
Please, PLEASE no more of the giggling sycophant Lucy. I'm sure she's a fine girl, but the show seriously suffers.
Another great podcast, Dan. Thank you for giving the guy with the pregnant gf the advice you'd give to a family member, even your son. I think you nailed that one! Also liked your advice to the woman who wants to explore her dormant sexuality. I didn't miss Lucy but at the same time, I look forward to her being back with you on the road.
@16: I don't think he was arbitrary at all. A guy who lets his girlfriend feel like that for any length of time either doesn't pay enough attention to or doesn't care about her feelings. She feels incredibly insecure in the relationship and that if she doesn't fulfill this fantasy for him, that he'll ditch her. If he needs a girl to be instantly into cuckolding to be his girlfriend, maybe he should've looked into the many women in the world who want a piece of man on the side.
That first caller was heartbreaking. I feel like he's setting her up--for, for, I don't know what. Something bad. Like damned if you do... Damned if you don't.
I may not be in the right place but, I have a question...
So I'm 26 straight male, I have a good job, a college degree, I dress well, I'm in good shape and I'm not ugly (I don't think anyways). I have not had a real girlfriend in years. I've had sex with about 30 people and I'm tired of sleeping with random people. I really just want a girlfriend. Some to go on picnics with, go out to museums, go shopping and be intimate with. I'm not even sure how to date or what. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore and I feel emotionally stunted. I usually don't find myself really interested in anyone though. There is someone I have a crush on but when I asked her out to dinner she seemed somewhat evasive and said she would get back to me. This has made me pretty depressed and while I'm probably over-reacting, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I liked Lucy!
Partway through your podcast now, and just had to pause it to comment --- I LOVE how you pointed out that churches make the decision to not marry couples all the time, based on whatever they deem to be an issue. I had that experience when I got married -- my husband is Catholic, but I not only was not raised Catholic, but I wasn't baptized, either (I know, the horror!). We were turned away from 6 different churches because as soon as they found out I wasn't Catholic, or we weren't a member of their parish, they said no. Two of them were very rude. We wound up asking one of his family members to please ask their church if they would have a priest marry us --- and then it turned out he wouldn't, because we were living together. We finally found a deacon who would do the ceremony. And after all that? The deacon wasn't very nice because I wasn't Catholic.

Yeah, there's that kind of thing going on every day. I don't get why people are so threatened by gay marriage --- they should be more upset about how people in general (ALL people) by some of these churches!
@girlfriendless: You ought to phone the podcast if you're looking for Dan's expert advice; he doesn't post here. BTW, if it's any consolation, having had sex with 30 people strikes me, at least, as a remarkable achievement. It's 30 more than I've had (unless one counts "making out" or "dry humping" as sex, in which case my number gets bumped up to about 3 or 4, none more recently than about 10 years ago.) I'd think that if one has the chops to get someone into bed, it's a short step to finding a true love match, but maybe I'm not fully understanding your situation...
@1 A fair point, but I would add some corollaries: 1. We are especially against any man being penetrated anally because that means he is not a real man; 2. We are also against any sex act that encourages straight women to orgasm outside of dick-in-vagina sex; and 3. Now that we think on it, women shouldn't be orgasming anyway unless they're whores. After all, women only truly want babies, our protection and help with the housework.

I agree that the anxieties are all about the sex acts you listed, but the deeper issues beneath always have hearty doses of gender anxiety, if not outright misogyny. It explains why the GOP closet cases never seem as alarmed about lesbian sex as about gay male sex.

For the first caller, I hope she listens to the podcast for all the red flags she was wavin' throughout that call.
Did anyone else get the vibe that cuckold boyfriend might not have been completely honest with how the his last relationship ended. His former gf leaves him for the other guy in their cuckold situation??? It almost seems like he's playing up that aspect to increase the stakes in any new cuckold scenario, since he's at least supposedly lost a gf to another guy she was fucking in front of him. It adds an element of risk that the boyfriend might get off on.
@25: Well, this sort don't object as much to a woman's 'acting like a man' because they have a soft spot for anyone trying to better themselves, no matter how sinful they might act in the process---just as they still like very rich men who committed crimes to get there.

Well, that, and they get to imagine or see _two_ nekkid ladies at once, and of course experience the wonderful vindication when a dick comes along, shows his penis, and the two lesbians understand just how wrong they've been in the presence of their true and proper object of worship.

Much less snarkily, I hope: Jonathan Haidt's work on the moral pillars of liberal and conservative thought seems convincing in the main to me, and relevant to this case: conservatives tend to be hypersensitive on most questions of ritual purity, whereas those on my side of the spectrum (I'm not Obama, so I don't have to call _anyone_ 'folks') tend to restrict our purity concerns to locavorism, fair-trade product buying, vegantarianism, the SubGenius Industrial Diet, or just believing that anything purchased at Whole Foods must be o.k..
Dan, don't worry about it - for reals. I'm turning 23 in two weeks, and I have no idea who any of them are either. It especially bugs me how all the trash mags refer to these celebrities by their first names only, so you don't even have a last name to go on. And how many famous Nicoles and Jennifers and Jessicas are there, amiright?
Great show Dan! I laughed out loud a couple of times. And yay: Lucy will be back next week!
Bless your little, 34-year-old heart, Dan. You just learned who the Kardashians are? Even I know who they are (although it took me a while) and I'm one of the last people in America who hasn't ever watched an episode of "Jersey Shore" (although I know who Snooki and "The Situation" are too, unfortunately). My 54-year-old, PBS-watching, college professor mom knows Kim Kardashian. There's something kind of adorable and awesome about the fact that you just fell from the Garden and into Kardashian Land. :-)
I love Lucy. I think Dan has great chemistry with her as a co-host. Actually, I think if Lucy were a permanent co-host this would be awesome as an hour-long show. :)
OMG, thank you Dan for making the exact same horrified snort/sigh as I did, when Mr. Polyamorous said of his dom, "she's not a TURBO SLUT".

Turbo slut!?!? Sounds like someone needs to work on his madonna/whore complex a little...
Oh my I think having Lucy as a permanent co-host would be horrible. I really like the woman that Dan used to do his radio show with and it would be awesome if she could come back.
@19, I guess I get your point. Maybe I give people too much benefit of doubt sometimes.
@girlfriendless: I'm a chick who did very similar things and eventually got a boyfriend not because I was sick of one-night stands, but because I liked him so much that I was fine giving them up to be his girlfriend. I have some suggestions for you, however, because you seem lost.

1. If you have friends who are girls, hang out with them. If you develop crushes on them, tell them that you really like them and that you're not just trying to get in their pants and then PROVE that you're not trying to get in their pants by waiting for them to jump YOU. If you don't have a thing for any of them, then wait for them to introduce you to the right girl.
2. While this is going on, do what you always did when picking up a girl (I tend to pick people up in bars), but instead of fucking her, just take her number. Do not go any further than making out and maybe groping a little. The point here is to go home alone, with her number. When you wake up the next morning (or whenever your hangover lets up, whichever comes first), reflect on whether you actually like that girl enough to call her today. If you do, then call her that day, ask her if she wants to go out for coffee or something.

Both these methods contain a lot of trial and error, but that's what dating is essentially, so you're just going to have to go for it.
I really enjoy Lucy's presence. She's perceptive and it's useful to have a live woman at hand to discuss issues with Dan. I particularly appreciate hearing Dan talk about the process of giving advice with someone else. It adds an extra layer of "teachable moments" IMO.
Lucy obviously isn't going to be long-term. She's a GUEST. She works for MTV as Dan's handler. So she's only going to be around as long as Dan's working on his MTV show. The reality is that she'll only be around for a few more episodes. So can we please stop complaining about her presence. I personally like having her on the show, but for those who don't, you'll only have to "endure" her for a few more weeks.
i'm 27 and i don't know who the fuck these new celebrity people are either
@#21 don't get hung up on any one crush, someone will show up, of course it helps to get yourself out there now & then. I am a gay guy but otherwise had a similar record, with random hookups & long dry spells, but now I'm in a happy relationship for six years.
at 52:00 or so does she say "pamphleting porn"? The only recent story like that (where a mother finds unusual pornography) was about women urinating.
and Dan: age is just a number!
Yes @33, can I second having the woman who usedbackcountry-host the radio show back again? she was so hilarious, a great counterpoint too
How come there aren't any women who have cuckolding fetishes where the boyfriend gets to sleeps around? : (
Um.... I like Lucy. I think she's great, and I think the rapport between the two of you is awesome.
@girlfriendless: holy crap you're 26, what's the rush? Nice job on your number too. I've got three years on you and I'm only at 15! Damn! I better hurry up before i dry up.
I was disappointed that Lucy was not with you this time. Hope she is well. Send her my love and hope to have her back soon. Another great podcast nonetheless. :)
@40 I heard "pamphleting", too, but I think she actually said, "pants wetting".

As for the woman who hasn't had sex in years, I know what it's like to be stuck for years in a marriage without (or with very little) sex, and I think I know where she's coming from: I think she's giving up too easily. I think she's so used to not getting what she wants that she has succumbed to hopelessness. Fine, if she wants to pay for sex then she should go for it, but she should also try to find a genuine (not for-pay) connection with a man she wants to have sex with.

Lady, if you're reading, you don't have to settle. You don't have to settle for a woman just because you think that would be easier, if what you really want is a man (of course, if you want to explore sex with women because that appeals to you, go for it), you don't have to settle for a paid-for lover if you really want to find someone who desires your body. Remember, you did this before, back in your 20's - you can do it again! You can get what you want (but not if you give up trying).
I'm late to the party but also have a quick comment for the woman just out of the sexless marriage.

First of all, Her voice sounded so open and exuberant, I bet she's already been asked on a date since the podcast came out.

Second, I can very well imagine why she would want to pay for a female sex worker-- I hazard that it comes down to power dynamics. Her first time paying for sex, her first time having sex in many years could be an intimidating prospect. Having a guy who may bully or take advantage sounds horrifying (even if that's not what would happen in real life)! But with a woman, at least you'd start gender-wise on equal footing.

Lastly, as a 30yo trans man with a thing for sexy older ladies AND sexual awakenings this sounds like a super-sexy assignment! She should try craigslist-- she may find a like-minded individual in her own town!

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