Savage Love Episode 279


I like the advertising leveraging the tech-savviness of the tech-savvy at-risk (not-quite-as-young-as-they-once-were) youth.
I loved your opening rant Dan ... Laughing out loud while driving to work is always a good thing.
Great podcast as usual.. But pronounce the word "root" funny. Did you always do that? What's that about? Is it a Seattle thing?
Can't-please-lady-unless-drunk guy is just so heartbreaking. I hate this Cosmo culture of not being able to ~*~*~COMMUNICATE~*~*~ and USE your WORDS!
"That might actually help" in Latin is roughly
"Quod auxilium actu posset"
i see you are on teevee tonight, Dan. MTV and Logo. good thing you're not on at the same night and time as RuPaul's Drag Race.
I had to stop the podcast a couple of times while you were trying to get the guy to "dirty talk" on the bus. That was probably the funniest moment of the past year.

Also, it was a mistake to have Ira Glass on your show...I want him on all the time, now. While you are at the top of my "Pass List", Ira just moved up a little closer.
For the short thing about the Savage Love motto in Latin, you might use "Possent Iuvare" - "could help". I think a latin banner like that over a Dan Savage emblem, or a coat of arms (thinking up what symbols should go on it is pretty fun) would add a touch of class, and make for an AWESOME shirt or hat.
Also, to post #5, "quod auxilium actu posset" doesnt actually work in Latin. You used google translate didnt you? Naughty naughty.
About the caller with the little person daughter, in particular about her military husbands co-worker;

I really doubt his comments are reason to worry. People in the military just fuck hard with each other. Also, I didn't take what she was saying that her husband said that his co-worker said as "I'm wanna rape your something-months old daughter", because if you remember what she said that her husband said that the guy said, it was "I need to meet your daughter, 'cause I've always wanted to fuck a midget."

Are you someone that believes that no subject is off the table when it comes to making jokes, Dan? Because folk in the military (I'm a war vet myself) pretty much live by this, especially when there are no females around. (Sorry girls, but you're known for becoming easily butthurt about the same types of jokes that the guys make towards each other, which is a shame because we're all forced to treat you with kid gloves, and it definitely creates an "us and them" environment, where the guys have a hard time seeing you as part of the same team.) As you might know, everything isn't always peachy in the service, and you have to find ways to joke about things and continue moving forward. Sitting around the barracks and bullshitting is basically the training grounds for when really fucked up shit is really happening and everyone is in need of the mood being lightened, because you really don't have time to, maybe, sit around and grieve, or whatever the Hell else.

Oh, and if someone says they're offended? The more assholish will just take it as a cue to keep going...
@10 that doesn't excuse their actions. The man is a new parent with a daughter that will be different and he worries. What if she was teenager? It's inappropriate.

And the whole kid gloves thing...ugh. Sorry if women get offended by demeaning jokes, we have to put up with it all the time. It's easy to say to take a joke when you come from a privileged posistion. Maybe military men should think before they say anything and have respect for others. There is nothing wrong with considering others feelings. My uncle has been in the military his whole life and I have never heard him say this was common.

Sorry, I'm just so sick of the 'women can't take jokes' argument. It's crap and once again puts the responsibility all on the women and not the person for saying or doing something hurtful.
AMAZING --- the voice of a tech-savvy youth emerges from the vague, giggling snorting sounds we heard one time back in '08. Dan, let the tech-savvy keep on doing those adverts, it's lovely to hear that voice!
Please, please, please check out Santorum vs.The French Revolution:…

You'll get a kick out of it!
Nice tribute at the end.

Good to hand-hold madonna/whore dude, but I've never understood that dichotomy.
I was a so annoyed by the constant advertisements I stopped listening at 19:00 mark. I do not watch TV or listen to the radio because I don't enjoy the constant barrage of ads. I always felt podcasts were a great medium that escapes that tiresome pattern of the same advertisement played repeatedly. How about just a few ad at the top of the show? Please? I'll donate money for more rant and less ad space. :3
@8 Cute idea!

Only thing is, Dan would never go for "possent Iuvare". Sounds too much like "pussy lover".
For your wall: "Quod ut vere auxilium"
I'm going to have to agree with @10 to some extent. Those soldiers (men and women) are put together, broken down, and rebuilt. This has several beneficial effects, but one effect that is less than optimal is the teasing. The platoon will become almost like a family, and no one will yank the chain of someone harder than a brother will to a brother. Soldiers look for these mental weaknesses and focus on it exclusively.

If you want to not get teased mercilessly in the military, never complain about anything that hurts your feelings. The first time you say your feelings are hurt by ANYTHING, that is the first thing someone will latch on to and they will exploit it as extremely as possible.

I guarantee that if the offending soldier had said he had a thing for women with red hair, and the husband said, "STFU, my sister has red hair," you could replace the comments about his daughter with comments about how he would rape his sister.

It's odd. It's uncalled for. It's highly offensive, even in the context. But, it's pretty much par for the course. I wouldn't recommend necessarily reporting it if it was a one-time thing. Ignore it, ignore the offender, ignore future comments. Report it only if it keeps going on, escalates, and the husband begins doubting the support of his fellow soldiers because of the teasing.
Before anyone complains, I reread my comment and want to change "mental weakness" to "soft spot or touchy subject".

The husband isn't mentally weak because of his daughter, but it is a subject that will make him defensive and/or emotional. Showing that defensiveness is what will spur people who have been trained to fight to focus on the area they perceive will do the most damage.
Yeah, I'm with everyone who says the servicemember is just doing a little "tough love." I'm guessing any trait the daughter had would have been met with something like "Introduce me to her. I'm into brunettes (blondes, redheads, green skin, whatever). " That's just part of having a daughter and working around a bunch of guys. And, it's kind of a kindness in a rough way, to remind the guy that life goes on for people who are different and they can still be viewed as sexually desirable.
I guess I'm the only one who thinks an appropriate response to someone making sexual remarks about your infant daughter is to knock him down. Most of the men I know are either military or work in the oilpatch, and without exception that would be considered incitement to violence.
So excited, even aroused, to finally hear the voice of a Tech Savvy At Risk Youth! She sounds hot! Also, while listening to episode 279, I realized that, while I enjoy your nice content, Dan, my absolute favorite part of the podcast, every week, is that moment when you are winding down, the closing music is rising and then, just for a brief moment, we can hear the Tech Savvy At Risk Youth gathering in a circle while snapping their fingers and rhythmically clapping their hands. So satisfying in a post-coital kind of way . . .
Just listened to the podcast last night (instead of the Oscars Dan!) and I had a revelation: I'm a fellow-sufferer of the het-boy disease of doing the madonna/whore thing all too often. I won't ask often enough for the freaky stuff I want...time to make a course correction!
Dan, if you ever plan on putting Latin on anything, please please please consult someone with a degree in it. All of these potential translations are terrible. There are a lot of people out there who actually know what they're doing, but they're probably not going to be volunteering their help in comments on the internet. This is not the place to argue Latin grammar, obviously, but please, consult an expert before getting t-shirts printed.

"Sorry girls, but you're known for becoming easily butthurt about the same types of jokes that the guys make towards each other, which is a shame because we're all forced to treat you with kid gloves, and it definitely creates an "us and them" environment, where the guys have a hard time seeing you as part of the same team."

Don't you think it is possible that the "us and them" environment was already there? That all this does is welcome you into the previously all-female club of people who are made uncomfortable by it? Don't you think that, maybe, just maybe, you already have a shitty attitude about women that makes it near impossible for them to take your asshole jokes about them in stride?
The Five Love Languages (words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch) tends to be a bit on the religious side, but if you can get over that - the information is actually quite interesting. It's possible that the lesbian partner has a different way of expressing love than the caller appreciates/wants.

I've done the online quiz with some of my ex's and it's been really helpful to understand what types of things they'd most appreciate as well as them understanding how I prefer to be loved...

It's not perfect, but it might open the opportunity for a conversation.
Excellent job with the straight boy who doesn't know how to fuck someone he cares about. That guy sounded beyond clueless. Sign me up for the Tony awards party.

Oh, so that guy was just kidding about fucking an actual infant? Wow, that's got to be the wittiest joke I've ever heard! Truly you are masters of comedy!

Y'know, I always thought fallen and wounded soldiers are HUGE pussies. Oh, does that offend you? Don't take it so personally. It's a civilian thing, you wouldn't understand.