WHO HE IS: Welder.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"Don't be like the other 20,000 massage therapists hanging around out here and go make some fucking money. Don't waste mommy and daddy's money--do something with your life. What's up with all these female welders who look all masculine? I'm looking for a female welder who's feminine. Like that chick from Flashdance."

NAME: Thad Jackson

WHO HE IS: Tattoo artist and manager of Greenlake Tattoo.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"I'm no role model! Tell 'em they can get 10 percent off a tattoo if they bring in a student ID."

NAME: Jeff McCaslan

WHO HE IS: Kitchen Manager, the Korthaus Eatery.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"Make sure you eat before you drink, so you won't be hung over in the morning."

NAME: Shaun Cummings

WHO HE IS: Artist and sales representative.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"Make sure you get good roommates, or you're never going to get anything done. I'm speaking from personal experience here, man. I had a little too much fun in college--you know what I mean?"

NAME: Todd Noel

WHO HE IS: Bar Manager, the Korthaus Eatery.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"School is hard. Students should drink."

NAME: John Elsasser

WHO HE IS: Commissioner of Olympic View Water and Sewer District in Edmonds, and Roto-Rooter employee.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"I've got some strong opinions on this topic, you wanna hear 'em? Going to college is not an option--you go. That's it. Not attending school is my biggest regret today. I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm not educated, if you wanna know the truth."

NAME: April Stirgus

WHO SHE IS: Concerned citizen.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"I understand why children quit school. It's because of the abuse they suffer at the hands of the teachers. They should make the tests easier."

NAME: Pam Johnson

WHO SHE IS: Administrative assistant.

What do kids need to know that they'll never learn in college?

"My daughter is a doctor, so my advice to college-age kids would be to hold on to your dream and never look back. This isn't my desk and these aren't my stuffed animals."