Nothing says proper priorities like a man who invests in good eyewear. Whether you're a dictator (Robert Mugabe), an evil genius (Henry Kissinger), or a future presidential candidate (Hillary Clinton, circa 1972), you need eyewear that says you're going places. Nate's sexy, sexy glasses ($200, LensCrafters, www.lenscrafters .com) do just that. They cost more than his jacket, jeans, and shoes put together. These glasses are more than nerdy-chic. They're super practical. "I kept losing mine," Nate, 21, says. "Or breaking the small flimsy types. So I decided to grab the biggest ones—the classic Ray-Ban Wayfarer. They were originally shades, but I popped out the lenses and put in prescription. So instead of being Audrey Hepburn, it looks more like Woody Allen." We say: Transplendent! (You say: Wha? We say: Annie Hall, reporter from Rolling Stone, bad sex, look it up.)
And that jacket! Who knew the cutting edge in retro, neon activewear could be both cute and cheap? Nate is a vision in aqua, all zipped up and ready to get windblown in his thrift-store windbreaker ($10, Atlas Clothing, 1515 Broadway, 323-0960). "It was hiding in the back," he says. "I was pretty hyped about that find." We are, too.
Did we mention that busted is the new skinny? As in, skinny jeans out, busted jeans in. Which is why it's so perfect that Nate's jeans ($15, Buffalo Exchange, 1036 W Burnside St, Portland, 503-222-3418) are, as he puts it, "pretty busted." Pretty? Pretty! So what's the brand? "I can't recall." And you know what, don't even bother to turn around and show us, Nate, because this look you're rockin' is all about "I don't know and I don't care and I can't remember anyway" and you're pulling it off so well, honey, that we can't even remember our question anyway.
Finally, the shoes. "The sneaks are Reebok Skytops." Oh, excuse us, sneaks. Swoon! "I was ecstatic when I snagged these," he continues. "I had been looking for some high-tops for a while, but couldn't find the right pair." They were $80 at Zebra Club (421 E Pine St, 325-2452). "These have definitely been wearing thin lately, but I can't help but wear them. I first broke them in at a Mad Rad show. The Skytops make you feel like you're dancing on clouds. And you'll never want to come down." Which, of course, is a physical impossibility, clouds being nothing more than water vapor that has crystallized high above the earth's surface and gathered together with lots of other crystallized water vapor to form a visible mass that is not, actually, a mass in the earthbound sense. If you were to dance on clouds, it would feel and look like falling. In the United States, according to the National Safety Council, the odds of your life ending because of a fall are 1 in 193. The odds of dying from a fall specifically down stairs or steps are 1 in 2,248; the odds of dying from tripping, slipping, or stumbling on a level surface are 1 in 5,442; and the odds of dying from a fall involving a ladder or scaffolding are 1 in 7,963. The odds of dying from a fall through crystallized water vapor are unavailable.