I hope the excercise of writing this was satisfying and cathartic in and of itself, because sadly it can't really address the fundamentals of your problem. You are imputing meaning in the act of ritual, or as you say, ceremony, as if this were some universal thing. Though not said directly, there appears to be an uspoken linking here of ceremony with tradition- a link which is often the case, though certainly it isn't always a given. There also seems to be an implied level of gravitas and seriousness inherent in the ritual which you require as well, for meaning to be found. Unfortunately, you speak as if there were some universal sort of meaning, as if traditional ceremony and gravitas inherently confer meaning in the hearts and minds of all the participants. I imagine that neither jumping over a broomstick, a ceremony with limited ritual but with a traditional, historical pedigree, nor a Klingon Wedding with limited pedigree but ritual and seriouness to spare, would satisfy. Since deep meaning is not necessarily the same for all people, it follows that it won't be the case for all gays and lesbians either. If anything, as the trend-setters for us all that you claim them to be, wouldn't you expect gays and lesbians to give us even less traditional/conventional ceremonies?
All of this, of course, you knew already, but I respect your desire to see meaning be restored as the most important part in the wedding ceremonies of anyone who gets married. Even if it never really went away in the first place!

strange that you would assume marrying in a star trek costume wasn't the girls idea?! i'm a woman and the only way i'd ever demean myself by getting married would be in a star trek uniform.

recently i went to one of those precious sacred ceremonies of which you speak where the woman was told she was inferior, made of his rib, and that it was now her duty to obey. she wobbled down the isle with her lotus-foot high heels, breath-denying white dress showing her virginal worth to be purchased, make-up making her acceptable for her comfortable-looking ugly groom.

no wonder these events make you cry! seeing someone sold into legalized slavery makes me sad too. when exactly was the time span where marriage was a sacrament? in the 50's when wife meant slave you can buy for free? before that? no it was worse. it seems like its been nothing but a way for people to profit by trading and selling women. what would make marriage sacred? a big silly white dress that looks like cinderella? so cinderella is ok if its "classy" but not star trek because you don't like it. a show that gave all of us non-male and non-white people hope for a future where WE mattered. maybe that's more sacred to some than a hate filled ceremony based on a book that considers blacks subhuman and women nothing but a part of man. hopefully gay people will not be so ignorant as to adopt ceremonies that have been used to negate their worth for millennia. what's the difference between following the doctrine of one fantasy book instead of following the doctrine of a science fiction book? leave your sexist backward ideas at the republican nation convention and let the rest of us decide what gets to be sacred on our private day.

Holy shit those were some tl;dr whiny-ass comments.

Nerds.

You think gays are not going to have theme weddings? I'm going to guess that 70% of all gay weddings will have some lame theme. They all love dressing up, You know, they're all gay like that.