Pullout Dec 31, 2009 at 4:00 am

We Regret These Errors

2009: Our Annual Cavalcade of Blunders, Omissions, and Errors in Judgment

Stranger Staff
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Comments

1
Thought this was gonna be an article about The Velvet Underground.
HockeyFanNick on December 30, 2009 at 1:03 PM Report this
2
I regret reading this.
buck futter on December 30, 2009 at 1:38 PM Report this
3
I regret not sending Dan Savage my video resume that involved revamped lyrics of Enrique's Hero. I can be your receptionist baby might have got me the job (had such a position been open. I can take your calls forever and I will say your not it to whomever were both really great lines. As was will you swear when I call in under the weather.
on December 30, 2009 at 2:06 PM Report this
4
I regret not prof reading.
on December 30, 2009 at 2:11 PM Report this
5
"Lindy West, film editor of The Stranger, regrets not being able to work the sentence "My vagina is like the Mines of Moria—delve too greedily and too deep, and you'll awaken an ancient evil" into print, leaving it to languish, unappreciated, in her Twitter feed forever."

I love you, Lindy West.
on December 30, 2009 at 2:28 PM Report this
6
Enumclaw Eli Sanders regrets coming in late on Monday, November 30, 2009, having spent the Thanksgiving holiday and weekend in Enumclaw at an event for "horsemen." Douchebag Dominic Holden also regrets coming in past noon on Monday, November 30, 2009, having spent the Thanksgiving holiday and weekend getting superbaked daily. Doorknob Danny also regrets their lateness on that day, the day the police were hunting for Maurice Clemmons. Doorknob Danny, unglued and rattled, without any reporters, was forced to link to updates at The Seattle Times.
on December 30, 2009 at 2:29 PM Report this
7
"Eli Sanders regrets the hour or so of his life that he lost watching the terrible local musical Obama on My Mind. And in spite of what commenters said online, he does not regret leaving at intermission."

I also do not regret leaving at intermission, but I do kinda regret that my friend in the cast probably recognized me in the audience. Fear of this probably recognition (and my subsequent early departure) has led me to avoid said friend for a few months. I regret this.
Tracy on December 30, 2009 at 4:08 PM Report this
9
What's the banana on the cover? Why is it that color? I regret there is no information about it!
on December 30, 2009 at 5:00 PM Report this
10
Whoever wrote "Chicken, while grateful for dodging the mercury bullet, regrets not being referred to as 'Tuna of the Land.'" is my new favorite person.
Holly Arsenault on December 30, 2009 at 7:52 PM Report this
11
came into work at 0630 depressed as hell because, well i was at work this early on the last the of the year. this article made it all alright. thanks. my new mantra:
"time is nothing but a machine of perpetual turning." man i never laughed so hard!!!!
eapoeallen on December 31, 2009 at 7:45 AM Report this
12
I've seen Carmel Cob's at Uwajimaya
LaRoo on December 31, 2009 at 10:48 AM Report this
13
"Seattle regrets that Circus Contraption committed suicide this year, but appreciated this metaphor in the death notice: "Like dandelion seeds in the wind, we fourteen-odd (and we all know how odd) members are spreading out...""

Seattle also regrets that, despite the large amount of intelligent people which reside within it, it still cannot distinguish the (admittedly miniscule) difference between a metaphor and a simile. While one could, conceivably, call this phrase a metaphor (in the sense that it is a figure of speech), the correct label would be a simile, since it is a comparison using "like" or "as".

Seattle also regrets the nitpicking BAs in English who don't even live in its freaking city. Goddammit.
on December 31, 2009 at 12:25 PM Report this
14
Federal Way has an H Mart.
Spelling3rrors on December 31, 2009 at 2:39 PM Report this
15
Why does Christopher Frizzelle, editor of The Stranger, not regret the time a certain Stranger freelancer who'd had a lot to drink, twice urinated out of Mr. Frizzelle's sixth-floor apartment window onto the street below?

Did Chris get laid, and therefore cared not that he and his boy toy contributed to the further degradation of life on the hill?

Hmm.
Texas10R on January 1, 2010 at 9:09 AM Report this
16
"overinflated"?
Texas10R on January 1, 2010 at 9:30 AM Report this
17
"She further regrets that Mallahan lacked the political wherewithal to write anything himself, or ever once articulate a cogent point with or without a script."

Is this Stranger copy chief Gillian Anderson's first regret of 2010?
Texas10R on January 1, 2010 at 9:38 AM Report this
18
I regret an entire fucking decade of people (with Bachelors degrees!) referring to vegetables as "veggies." Baby-talk is OUT.
Texas10R on January 1, 2010 at 9:46 AM Report this
19
#18

Veg out - it is the wonder of a long weekend.

And when I talk to my baby, you can bet it is far more interesting than steamed produce.

Thinking of steamed, think I will give baby a call... long night ahead ... need to take my own advice.

Baby Baby Baby
on January 1, 2010 at 10:06 PM Report this
20
@5, you took the words right out of my mouth. Lindy Forever!
eric (the other one) on January 2, 2010 at 7:48 AM Report this
21
I regret that the Stranger barely notices that there is an excellent and growing dance performance scene in Seattle, not to mention the depth and variety of it: modern dance, flamenco, cabaret, experimental performance art, butoh, belly dance, b-boys and b-girls, etc. I regret that the Stranger has no dance section and no dance writer. I regret how much this hurts the dance community to go unnoticed by the most relevant news source for young Seattle artists.
stickyvico on January 2, 2010 at 5:47 PM Report this
22
@15 -- Nope. Didn't get laid. Straight guy.
Christopher Frizzelle on January 3, 2010 at 5:02 PM Stranger Staff
23
Who is Benny Hills and why should we give a fuck?
buck futter on January 4, 2010 at 8:34 AM Report this
24
@13: You are my favorite. I too screamed aloud "IT's A SIMILE!" when I read that.
shivvvers on January 6, 2010 at 10:50 AM Report this
25
@9 The cover image is a bronze sculpture by Sutton Beres Culler that was exhibited at the Larimore Project Nov. 5-Dec. 19:
http://www.suttonberesculler.com/current…
Erica Tarrant on January 6, 2010 at 11:54 AM Stranger Staff

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