Comments

1
Thanks for writing this. I hope we come to be seen as valid partners in the queer and straight communities and this is great for allies who think of us as sexless. :)
2
You'd be surprised how many people are fine with having trans friends but freak out at the prospect of a trans lover.


Uh, no, I wouldn't.
3
Ummm...that's nice for you that you are trans, but I'd say 90% of crossdressers at one point or another are sure they are trans. Don't you think that therapists SHOULD be 100% sure that the person is trans before they engage in possibly irreversible surgery? That fatal mistake has driven some to suicide. That's the way to tell a crossdresser, if the urge to dress ebbs and flows in tandem with libido. The older trans woman you quote was correct--if the urge to dress is blocked by a testosterone blocker, then the person is a crossdresser. That has nothing to do with cis women and libido, or wanting or not wanting sex.
4
Ummmm, I'd say pulling that 90% number out of... the air is prejudiced and there's not reason to believe it. People, including trams people and crossdressers, know themselves better than you think. Trans folks and people who know and work with them know what's up and what it is to be trans. They don't need to be policed. Not getting appropriate intervention is more of a risk than the getting too much intervention you seem to suggest.
5
Ummm, pulling that 90% out of... thin air is prejudiced and not believable or useful. Trans people know themselves. So do crossdresssers. Trans folks not getting desired and appropriate intervention is a greater risk than others getting it by accident.
6
#5: You assert that Trans people, as a group, know themselves. If this is true it puts them head-and-shoulders above any other demographic group. Knowing oneself is not very common.
7
You will get no argument from me that trans women know that they are trans, often from an early age. I am not suggesting that they be policed.

Crossdressers, however, often do not know that they are crossdressers and believe they are trans instead. It is a very rare crossdresser who has not at some point in their life seriously considered transitioning. It's an easy mistake to make and will show up as the trans woman quoted in the article points out--when the testosterone blocker kicks in.

Perhaps if there were more public acceptance of crossdressing, there wouldn't be so much pressure on crossdressers to see themselves as trans. But in the meantime, there are very good reasons for therapists to ask those questions.
8
Trans folks not getting desired and appropriate intervention is a greater risk than others getting it by accident.


Given that full SRS includes sterilization, I find this very hard to believe. Are you seriously that self-centered? Good Christ.

And doctors have very good reason not to want to get sued. Want medical treatment? Go through the barriers medical professionals have set up. They're there for a reason.
9
@7

Marrena, the therapist could very well have asked "do you ever masturbate while wearing woman clothing" without shocking her by mentioning her mother in connection to the sex she was having.

I mean, when you're asking for help, you don't want the therapist to seem to go hinting at incest as a motivator for your trouble.

Suppose a cis woman came in for only being able to orgasm through masturbation, she'll be pretty shocked to hear from the therapist "do you ever use one of your father's chonies as a masturbatory aid ?".

Correct me if I'm wrong, but what I take from Toby's testimony, is that trans are not treated with kid's gloves by therapists, unlike cis. As if being trans was enough of a sexual mishap that they should be open to discuss and hear about every sexual perversion.

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