Pullout Nov 26, 2014 at 4:00 am

Former Child Star Keeps the Holiday Safe for Materialism and Gluttony

Rationalizing every gross little facet of Christmas as God’s exact will.

Comments

1
Was Photoshop used to lessen or enhance Kirk Cameron's increasing resemblance to Hoggle, you think? Either way, they didn't quite go far enough.
2
I'd like to think there was a deleted scene where Kirk called A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS "communist propaganda" for being anti-holiday commercialism(and for Charlie making his point by picking out the most pathetic little tree in all of wherever the hell those kids supposedly live(a mysterious town in which children were eloquent, yet adults sounded like muted trombones whenever they tried to talk).
3
Was Kirk going to beat someone's brains in with that giant candy cane?
4
Brilliant. Schmader in fine form.
5
The film is only opening on two screens in the area? Compare and contrast, when the biopic of Cantinflas played here, it opened on four screens in the area.
6
This is the feel good movie of the YEAR! And when I say "feel good", I mean you will feel good to have the Lord in your lives and all that shit. BLACK FRIDAY!!!
7
My favorite Christmas movie is the original "Miracle on 34th Street" which features one of the finest lines ever (with accent):

"There are a lot of bad -isms in this woild, but commercoilsim has got to be the woist. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same."

It is a great movie and should drive fundamentalists nuts, given that they don't mention Jesus once and the female lead is a divorced career woman who is raising her kid atheist. In the end there is no God, but Santa might be real (or at least there is such a thing as goodness.)
8
Ha, I work at one of the two theatres that it's showing in. I knew it was bad from the brief glimpses of it I've gotten, but I didn't realize it was flat-out insane.
9
"Finally, Christian addresses the general gluttony and gross materialism of Christmas, inspiring Kirk Cameron's most heartfelt speech of the film. Complaints about materialism are bunk, he explains, because Christmas is a celebration of God's spirit taking on a material form in Jesus. It's only fitting, therefore, that we give each other material things to celebrate his birth."



Wow! A lot of Prosperity Gospel fumes coming from that particular pile of s**t...
11
I bet if K.Cameroon was sticking something in his ass or sucking someone off he would be a hero to you sickening deviants. You trashy heaps of feces are disgusting and sad.
12
Oh Seattleites go please pretty please jump in front of a bus and do the rest of the USA a favor
13
@10 - Talk about fucked up, damn.

@12 - Show us how it's done first.
14
They deleted the scene where Kirk's character goes down on his brother-in-law in the car. That's why the guy was so happy at the end. Everyone knows religious women don't do oral.

Please wait...

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