Pullout Jan 28, 2015 at 4:00 am

(Hey, Locals—Have You Seen All These Goddamn New People Everywhere? I Mean, Seriously.)

We're happy you're here. Ish. Happy-ish. Malcolm Smith


The title is fitting, if you ignore a few things, like; Big Bertha, Sawant, trash can inspectors, a busted transit system, et. al.
And welcome to Big Brother checking your garbage to see if you threw out old food. Seattle is going off the deep end.
Our transit system and the region's passive aggressive slow crawl to right of way public transportation is quite ridiculous--which may be of a disappointment to Sydney.
To the newcomers from Spokane, take heart for we are everywhere. The best thing Spokane has going for it is it's relative proximity to Seattle - we're practically locals, coming from the same state and all. Don't be afraid of telling people that's where you're from because chances are there is some bear you who is also from Spokane, you can both revel in the fact you escaped, and it is glorious.
I know that there's a big football game coming up, yadda yadda, but the numbers don't lie: Seattle, 3.6 million, Boston 4.7 million in the metro area. The CSA tells an even more extreme story: Seattle, 4.5, Boston 8.0. City limits are mostly meaningless, but if you are interested only in them, Boston is twice as dense as Seattle. Boston also has a functional transit system, and the presence of serious educational institutions (i.e., ones not focused on football) makes it generally speaking a more intelligent environment. Our weather is better, though -- Boston summers and Boston winters are no fun.
That should be "someone near you" and not "some bear you."
And as someone coming from Spokane, you realize everything is better here. The transit system, local alternative weekly (sorry Inlander), and instead of Mt Spokane you get Mt Rainier. And Mt Baker. And the Olympics (complete with its own rain forest). Hell, you even get a mountain that blew it's top off a couple decades back and still occasionally burps. Sure you don't get the same levels of seasonal change but it's always green here, even when it's winter. Also, all the water. People will bitch and moan about the traffic and transit and every little thing but you'll just be happy you don't live over the mountains anymore. And you'll be even more thankful if/when you go back to visit.

I just moved here from Boston. Holy shit, I had no idea Seattle literally, in print, on a newspaper site, HATES Bostonians. I was warned not to move here, that the antipathy was getting worse and worse. I had no idea Seattle's hatred of my hometown's residents was so vocal.

Point taken. Thanks for the warm welcome.
@9 the only people here who hate Boston are either from Boston or idiot 12s who think a super bowel game is meaningful beyond sports.

The rest of it is bare minimum effort sarcastic trash talk. Next year it will be someone else, so don't go thinking you're special.
@9 - Boston is awesome, it's only noticeable (and with The stranger, insufferably tongue in cheek) cuz its sportsball season. Besides how often have you experienced Boston hatred in the ten months you've lived here?

Perhaps you're homesick and feeling SAD through your first winter and are especially sensitive to slights against your hometown. Or maybe you regret your decision to move here and you're looking for validation/vindication so you can feel better about moving back. In any case, best of luck to you.
@9, we love you but you talk funny.
@9 I think you'll find people from Seattle prefer to express hatred "in print" it is just a quirk. Like people from Boston sounding like they are yelling all the time, or people from the South insulting each other via compliment. If you don't like it here...please stop complaining and being a "Frasier" (visitor) and leave.
Pipe down, Boston. Clearly you've not been here too long if you let The Stranger get under your skin. Boston's a cool town. (Obviously, it's San Jose that gets the real 'fuck you'.) I moved here in '93 and have watched portions of this city become utterly unrecognizable. Literally. As in if you choppered me into most parts of Cap Hill and took away the St signs I wouldn't have a clue.

But some things never change.. Like the Stranger's sardonic columns. Calm down. Shut up. Sit down. No, not there.

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.

Add a comment

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.