How to Be a Person: General Knowledge

Comments

1
Wow. Filler much?
2
That advice about pedestrians not waiting for the light to go green but crossing when all is clear is fine if you can afford jaywalking tickets. I was crossing at 4th and Stewart in a hurry, running late to get to the bus tunnel below what was then the Bon Marche. It was 6:30 AM and not a car in sight so I crossed against the signal. Out of the blue came a jerk motorcycle cop with his ticket pad. Cost me $45. May be more now. This happened in 2000. I've seen his since ticketing other people in the early morning before there's traffic. Must be his thing.

So, don't be advising poor undergraduates to not wait for the green.
3
So you're supporting Mallahan right?
4
@2-this. FUCK JAYWALKING TICKETS, it's $56 a pop!
5
People who care about the world do so because it makes them feel good inside. It's just another form of masterbation. I simply prefer to do mine in the comfort of my home all while remembering to clear the internet history prior to my wife using the computer later that night.

6
Ah, comin ya'll, this shit is supposed to be funny with a dash of realism to get the kids thinking!
7
People also care about the world because of biological imperative. It takes a lot of conditioning to convince people that it's ok to leave the world worse off for your children. Activism is an extension of reproductive urge. What point is there to having and raising kids if they end up dieing in a toxic wasteland before they can reproduce themselves?
8
As a graduate of the class of 2003 from Pacific Lutheran University, I'd like to say hello. Now you all know someone from PLU!!
9
why does the stranger keep saying felons can't vote?
10
If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao,
you're not going to make it with anyone anyhow.
11
If you went to Washington State University it's a given that you can do a keg stand for over 30 seconds and have at least 2 STIs.
12
you forgot to add under the car section - "Learn to park to accomodate other people looking for parking in the city - if you don't people will write nasty notes and leave them on your windsheild and/or key your car."

These are the car people who piss me off the most. I rarely drive anymore and it's freaking annoying not even being able to park because some thoughtless asshole can't pull up 2-3 feet.
13
@ 2. same thing. 3rd and pine, 7:30 am. $56. presumably the same little mustache-having twat of a motorcycle cop. i see him doing this almost every morning.
14
it's too bad The Evergreen State College wasn't included in the list.
15
@ 9 - The Stranger states this correctly. Please refer to

RCW 29A.08.520 Felony conviction — Restoration of voting rights.

(1) Upon receiving official notice of a person's conviction of a felony in either state or federal court, if the convicted person is a registered voter in the county, the county auditor shall cancel the defendant's voter registration... (continues)

(2) The right to vote may be restored by, for each felony conviction, one of the following:

(a) A certificate of discharge issued by the sentencing court, as provided in RCW 9.94A.637;

(b) A court order restoring the right, as provided in RCW 9.92.066;

(c) A final order of discharge issued by the indeterminate sentence review board, as provided in RCW 9.96.050; or

(d) A certificate of restoration issued by the governor, as provided in RCW 9.96.020.

16
New code effective, July 2009:

(1) For a felony conviction in a Washington state court, the right to vote is provisionally restored as long as the person is not under the authority of the department of corrections. For a felony conviction in a federal court or any state court other than a Washington state court, the right to vote is restored as long as the person is no longer incarcerated.
(2)(a) Once the right to vote has been provisionally restored, the sentencing court may revoke the provisional restoration of voting rights if the sentencing court determines that a person has willfully failed to comply with the terms of his or her order to pay legal financial obligations.
(b) If the person has failed to make three payments in a twelve-month period and the county clerk or restitution recipient requests, the prosecutor shall seek revocation of the provisional restoration of voting rights from the court.
(c) To the extent practicable, the prosecutor and county clerk shall inform a restitution recipient of the recipient's right to ask for the revocation of the provisional restoration of voting rights.
(3) If the court revokes the provisional restoration of voting rights, the revocation shall remain in effect until, upon motion by the person whose provisional voting rights have been revoked, the person shows that he or she has made a good faith effort to pay as defined in 20 RCW 10.82.090.
(4) The county clerk shall enter into a database maintained by the administrator for the courts the names of all persons whose provisional voting rights have been revoked, and update the database for any person whose voting rights have subsequently been restored pursuant to subsection (6) of this section.
(5) At least twice a year, the secretary of state shall compare the list of registered voters to a list of felons who are not eligible to vote as provided in subsections (1) and (3) of this section. If a registered voter is not eligible to vote as provided in this section, the secretary of state or county auditor shall confirm the match through a date of birth comparison and suspend the voter registration from the official state voter registration list.
17
i knew someone (like 2000, 2001) who was ordered to "halt" from a bicycle kop after jaywalking at 2nd in Belltown and ran away. she hid in the women's bathroom of the rendezvous until the coast was clear.
18
i once knew a girl (2000, 2001) who ran from a bicylce kop after jaywalking - he was across the street and yelled "halt." she bolted into the rendezvous ladies room until the coast was clear.

i shit you not.
19
i wish i could remove one of my posts
20
Chairman Mao? Seriously? All that tells me is that you're an dogmatic asshole that doesn't know your history. Or that you're really into the idea of killing intellectuals. It certainly doesn't make you look cool.
21
RE:History of civilization. Monogamy is not necessarily associated with hunter-gatherers. Successful hunters tend to have multiple partners (and increased child survival rates). "Marriages" in h/g societies are informal affairs that can be easily ended (and begun). Our closest primate relatives (chimps and bonobos) have multi-male/ multi-female mating strategies and gorilla and orangutans have harems. Hominid/ hominin mating strategies are complex and multi-faceted, used not only for procreation but also social bonding. While monogamy as a mating strategy is practiced by some birds and whatnot, human beings rarely (in the past or present) limit themselves to one life partner. They tend to mix it up and, based on sexual dimorphism in our ancestors, have since Lucy walked the earth. Moral of the story: don't set yourself up for failure by ignoring millennia of successful evolutionary strategies by attempting to commit to one person "forever" by believing in a socially constructed notion of marriage that was invented to maintain women as private property.
22
@ 21 Regarding monogamy. Totally true about monogamy and evolution! But there are some groovy benefits to being monogamous (at least serially)... less STIs, knowing who the father is, that great sense of intimacy and security you get after 10-15 years, the respect of your community. Don't get me wrong, I am not against polyamory, celibacy or any other simply sleeping around, but we do happen to be social creatures in a socity that has the "socially constructed notion" that monogamy is a good thing. I have, to my surprise, found that it is, for me, right now. I wish I had discovered it back in college.
23
Sure, it's convenient to cross against the light, and that's fine if, and only if:
1) there are no cops around to write you a ticket,
2) there is no traffic hazard; check for bikes or cars turning the corner,
3) you're not wearing earphones, a bad idea anyway,
4) you're not yammering on the phone, or texting.

Crosswalks are inherently dangerous places in ANY busy city.

Also, just because you have "the right of way" doesn't mean you'll prevail in an encounter with a vehicle. You may be "right." You'll also have a gruesome anecdote about why you walk funny; an ancedote you will tell for the rest of your life...and that's only if you survive the encounter.
24
The line "Use your eyeballs and memoryballs" gives away Lindy West's contribution to this piece.
25
Hello Staff 6320097428.I was twenty something also.

And that's why I have to revert to the 4th paot.

There.
That will do it.

You will have every opportunity this year to foist upon your own desires, that which you dream into existance... and of course CONTROL with your most base delivery vehicle.

And just what is the point fellow loinjoints?

Well, if seperation of church and statistics have anything to do with this back to school coir director... you will be HARD Press and soft Connies I dare say you will bee.

And so with out further adonis and jeckles... I give you the only unpublishable dream interpretators in the book of spanglethalonsidersbenz... the crib note from the ring of fire.

@_(*&^%$#!) special hint: This is a creative nightmare on sunshine in your hammock... and none to fond of the grope.

ahhh shucks... only kidding little waynes.... don't despair because there are worse things under the sun than being caught on the bus with your pants in the plants.

"There is a coffin and it is missing."
November 2009 This is part and parcel tio submission of your ruler and hose:
College Text Book Publication Residual Copywrite Footnote: #1.
high sCHHOOL... WHAT IT'S LIKEE TO WAKE DOWN IN A TREE HUGGING NIGHTMARE IN A WORLD OF REPEATABLE TRACERS....

THE SIX BOWLS OF WRATH... REVEALING SCONCES IN ANGEL 1AND2

malignantsores
loathsome testing
mark and the beastsie boys.

here, just like another college majorette, you will be oblidged to play dodge ball.

halloweenie is not coming over for christmas goose and jimminie cricket won't be flying in on a towel laden with pork chops.

ANGELAND3and2
subcultureofswingtime:Nuclearwasteandnecropolis
Murder and Legislative Revenge
dummy venerated mannaquinns and the green door...

Estuaries and the Columbia River Basin
Audio Tapes and Communication Fraud.

#and$ angles and demons on canitmister.
Romans Auquaductiled
History Repeats Itself with OSHA WISHA Prison Labor and Union Negatives in the
BROMIDE ALKAKINED STREET STEAM.

NO MORE GENEOLOGICAL DIPLOMAS FOR YOU!!!!!!

Forward Study Plan
Family Privacy and a WATCHFUL GAZE>

#10 the fifth angel
Throne of the Beast: Perpetual Perjury and LOOSER MUSCLE TONES>

ONE DRINK OVER THE DRUG LIMIT AND THE CHEERLEADER IS TANKED!!!

toxic interaction kits and getting there to "get there".

WARNIG WILL RODGERS>>> the cat is out of the bag.
p.s., I never grade papers and follow you home... as I am the wind in the whistle... and I won't be watching my back so no fraggle rock.

Thank you... now go have a good time people.
26
Is not the Stranger's own esteemed associate editor Charles Mudede a former PLU lecturer? There's someone from PLU some of us have met! He introduced himself to me as an arborist, though, and walked off muttering about trees.
27
I'm in college and I take all the information seriously and will implement all the advice in my real life
28
I would like to append to the biking recommendations: use a goddamn light when riding at night. Front and rear. If you don't understand why you need a front light, you don't fear traffic from cross streets nearly enough. If you die when a driver sideswipes you or doors you because you were invisible in the night-time gloom, I AM NOT GOING TO YOUR FUNERAL.