Crystal Meth Dealers

From Peter Staley, AIDS Activist and Recovering Meth Addict


First I can't believe that I am the FIRST to make a comment about this article. I am an ex-crystal meth user and I understand what is being answered here to a T. I understand the self hatred, but to just ask someone "why do you hate yourself so much" is not going to work in making them stop using meth, I think you have to go much deeper with that person, try to be empathetic and even sympathetic with the person. That self hatred goes back a LONG LONG WAY, and a lot of people use meth to simply COPE with that hatred. I think they use it for that purpose FIRST and Sex comes much later on. Well, maybe not much later on, sure you have the sex, but that too is part of helping you get over the self hatred. So, maybe you wonder why I say I'm an EX Meth user, well I read thru and found it to be provocatively in your face and I learned a LOT more about the drug I thought was only a once a drug I would use as a once a month drug, a time each month in my life where I could simply let go. I never got to the point of total addiction, I just didn't use enough or maybe I just didn't have easy access, but now, I KNOW it destroys you, and after your addicted and I mean REALLY ADDICTED you hate yourself even MORE. I know for me coming down off that junk was the most depressing thing in my life. I wanted to kill myself many times while I was coming down, and that feeling isn't just a passing feeling, it can last for many hours upon hours, even days. It got to be too much to handle, plus I am HIV negative and want to stay that way and I KNEW, i mean I KNEW FOR SURE that if I didn't quit I was GOING TO BE HIV POSITIVE. That was a real motivator for me. Is my life perfect now, NO not by a long shot. I am very isolated, I don't have any friends to lean on about any issues I may be going through. My life is a complicated mess, but at least its a mess WITHOUT CRYSTAL METH MAKING IT EVEN WORSE. Chris