Why didn't you simply have a threesome with them?
As a gay writer, you could've had a field day describing it.
The rambling about marriage was fine and dandy, but to titillate with the weird moves they put on you only to wind up talking about being sad you can't marry legally was a disappointment. Both angles would have been interesting. Would Steve break out of his closet and fight to be able to marry his new boyfriend? Would Donna realize gay porn is what floats her boat?
And so forth.

One of my best adventures was what turned out to be an occasional interlude with my wife-to-be and a guy who was her co-worker. He was really cool and liked both sexes just fine. No problem. Life is too short to deny yourself the opportunity if it presents itself in an appealing way (and if the health & safety issues are in check).

I too think a threesome was the only logical way for all the weirdness and sadness to end.

It's strange everyone above thinks the ideal solution is to "have a threesome." Such comments miss the point: human sexuality is a delicate thing made all the more complex the by fiction of normalcy. The real question here is how, dear god how, did you not take the dog with you? For shame.

Thank you for NOT having a threesome; that would have been too Merrick for words.

This story doesn't ring true. No sane person returns time after time to share meals and get propositioned by people they despise on every level. I suspect the author is exaggerating to make a more compelling narative, and was more welcoming of all that attention than he lets on, then changed his tune later.

Sir, I call bullshit!

Aaaah! Love this:
"I stopped seeing them after discreetly rebuckling my belt 10 times in one evening."

This article is great. And I too am happy (and relieved even) that you did not have that threesome.

Yeah, @2. I can totally see how a young poor person would hang around an annoying- but not dangerous- couple for a few weeks too long just for wine and weed and good food.

It might be possible he didn't detest them until he actually thought about it later. It's hard to detest friend. It takes effort and introspection.

God damn, they just wanted a threeway! Fuck em' or help them find a bi-guy to bang for Christ's sake. Don't be such an emo little bitch about it! They fucking fed you!