Pullout Jun 24, 2010 at 4:00 am

A Field Guide to Conservative Closet Cases—Plus, Who's Next?!

Comments

1
Schock and his white hustler pants as Princess Sparkle Pony called them. I can't think of a man I know who would touch that (actually, scratch that I can but he's a transvestite with no taste). But I think there's a little girl out there who might love a translucent teal belt like that.

"Distressingly hot GOP gay seeks same. No fatties."
^ This. Oh this. Perfect. He seems like he might be kind of like bitchy cheerleader.
2
You're missing Calif. Rep. David "Blow" Dreier.
3
Oh my God, that was the guy you had a photo of up on SLOG a while ago with the gayest ensemble ever worn to a barbecue? I googled him after reading Dan's Pride article, but didn't realize it was the same guy. No doubt about it, that guy be gaaaaaaaayyyy.
4
My money's on the guy from Americans for Truth About Homosexuality who obsesses over Dan's sex life.
5
How about Illinois Congressman Mark Kirk, who is not only gay but also a serial exaggerator? Perhaps his Manhunt ad could read something like this: "Enormously endowed, big medaled former twink seeks other closeted military men to exchange bodily fluids."
6
I'm hoping it's that asshole Tony Perkins from the Family Research Council (George Rekers buddy).
7
In his defense, Ashburn did admit his hypocrisy and come around to supporting gay rights after he was outed.
9
These are pretty bad but there are still a lot of liberal closet cases, many of whom date women and endanger their health.
10
But "liberals" don't claim to be the "moral values" party.

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