Remember to only punch up, people, despite the temptations.

You have officially run out of ideas.

As a kid that lived in the County, Alderwood was our big "we're going to the mall" day go-to as Bell Square was a bit too tony for us.

I saw Rob Roskopp and Steve Caballero skate a 12' wide, 10' tall ramp they built inside the mall for a demo in 1986. Nothing better has happened there since.

I realize it fits your narrative better, but you didn't have to go way out to the suburbs to find a mall. Hell, there's one (albeit more upscale, so probably with fewer people to make fun of) less than a mile from your office.

This introduction is the funniest thing I've read here in a while.

P.S. Nothing from Mudede??

I fail to see why rich white people buying things in downtown Seattle is all that different from rich white people things in the burbs.