Regrets

Dept. of Corrections

We Regret These Errors

I Regret Not Killing Benjamin Colton Barnes Before He Got to That Park Ranger

I Regret Being Consigned to Eternal Damnation with the Guy Who Drew The Family Circus

We Wish to Announce Several Regrets (We Wish to Announce Several Regrets)

I Regret Not Being Considered Food and Offer, for Your Enjoyment, This Recipe

I Regret Rehab

I Regret Macklemore's Tweets

We Regret We’re So Dumb

I Regret Nothing

(Except My Chaffed Genitals—That's Just Irritating)

What You Think About When You Think About Chile

(You're Thinking of the Trapped Miners, I Can Tell! Stop It!)

A Guide to the Jokes in This Issue for the Staff of Gawker

(Because Gawker Had Trouble Keeping Up with Our Jokes This Year)

Hands Off My Leeks

I'm Just Trying to Make a Living Over Here

We Regret These Errors

A Year of Blatant Inaccuracies, Stunning Lapses, Errors, and Obvious Oversights

I Regret Those Girls in Roslyn

(I Mean, Fer Fuck's Sake!)

Sorrowful Remorse

A Special Message from A. Birch Steen

We Regret These Errors.

We Regret Mentioning Suicide, Publishing Essays about Suicide, and Placing Visual Depictions of Suicide on Our Cover

Dept. of Public Accountability

That Sculpture Is a Stain on Our Reputation

Dept. of Public Art

Please Allow Me to Set the Record Straight

Dept. of Closets and Stalls

I Regret that Pit Bulls Find My Face So Delicious

Dept. of Pets