Savage Love Nov 15, 2016 at 4:00 am

Mourning in America


I got married in Multnomah County in spring, 2004. One election later, my marriage was annulled.
I WISH my election night had been spent in joyous fucking, instead of rocking sobbing while my poor boyfriend tried to comfort me in futility. I haven't been able to have an orgasm since the election, since every time I lie down I start thinking about how screwed we all are and it tends to throw off the mood. I'll get over it (the orgasm-block, not the election) eventually, but until then: god speed, you beautiful fuckers. Fuck one out for me please.
"Freedom and decency need to lawyer the fuck up."

Well said, Dan! Please keep the light of your sassy humor burning, now more than ever.
KHH should marry his boyfriend and immediately apply for immigration to Canada (or any other country with SSM). Their marriage will be recognized there even if it no longer is in the US, so the fact that his boyfriend is undocumented in the US will not matter in the least.

Unless they really absolutely want to stay in the US, of course, in which case: good luck.
KHH get thee to a good immigration attorney ASAP. Even after you marry (good advice) getting that green card for an undocumented spouse is not easy and hasn't been for decades, it ain't like in the movies.

In the 1990s I know someone who married a non-US citizen who was on a student visa legally (male-female couple of course back then, and way before all the 9/11 hysteria) and they made his wife exit the country, stay out for many months, while she applied for a green card / whatever visa would let her stay in the US while her green card came through as even then they didn't allow "converting" from a legal documented temporary status to green card.

If your BF is from a country where gay men can be imprisoned for being gay (which is a whole heck of a lot of countries!), you might get some special status that could avert the trip out of the USA... And perhaps there are other ways around it too for hardship, I am not an attorney. But I do have enough friends who are immigrants to know it is a whole heck of a lot of hoops. And the green card status can be jeopardized by any legal issues / even minor crimes, and it's a very long road to citizenship now.

Either way, get married now, get to that immigration attorney ASAP, and realize that even under Obama the US law treated legal immigrants like crap a lot of the time, and it's only going to get worse, so your new husband should avoid any minor arrests or demonstrating against Trump. Even resisting arrest can be grounds for revoking a green card and that's often thrown at peaceful dissenters. Get legal advice from someone who knows immigration law on an ongoing basis!

Good luck!
@4 have you actually looked at moving to Canada? Or almost any country you're not a citizen of already? You have to bring in between $500,000 and $1 million, create 3 jobs or more, blah blah blah, or be some extra special in demand profession / student major *or* have a job offer already... Not easy for most of us.

Most countries (including the US) make it hard for their employers to hire someone who doesn't already have legal residency status or citizenship unless you're an extra special snowflake.
@ 6 - If you happen to speak French, Québec (which controls its own immigration) is a lot more welcoming. Montréal is full of French citizens working in convenience stores. I doubt they got in because they had loads of money or an extra special in-demand profession. I also know a French guy with a computer graphics background (nothing exceptional, then, especially not in Montréal) who was accepted and proceeded not to work for a couple of years, preferring to study (in part at the Canadian government's expense) until he found a job that suited him.

So all KHH needs to do is to get his ass into a French class right now. (Joking, but not totally.)

If that's beyond his capacities, he can just wait a little while; as a gay man, if things go as bad as we expect them to, he might soon be entitled to ask for refugee status.
@6 WHOA! That is not even close to true! Have you been abroad? Have you met any non-refugee immigrants in the United States who came here through proper channels? How many of them were powerful businessmen, and how many of them seemed pretty ordinary? I've lived abroad before, have known countless others who also have, and known plenty of people who came here to the US. It is absolutely true that picking up and moving to a different country is not easy -- it requires patience, luck, etc. But it's also not extremely hard. Especially if you have a white collar-ish skill set (programmer? accountant? paralegal?) and speak English as a native language.
Big shout out to my main man Dan for plugging the good people at the American Civil Liberties Union. I volunteered at my local chapter for years, and my experiences were absolutely wonderful. I was surprised by the ideological diversity -- Democrats, libertarian-minded conservatives, libertarians, anarchists, socialists, freedom-loving moderates, etc. As with any organization, I didn't agree with them completely, 100% of the time (AND NEITHER WILL YOU), but they are passionate advocates for personal liberty and equality, which is exactly what we need right now.
On the one hand, deportation will most likely be stepped up under a Trump/Pence administration. On the other hand, have they given any thought to how difficult, and expensive, it will be to deport EVERYONE they think they want to deport? Particularly using the smaller government they claim to espouse? I think the sheer logistics of actually governing, as opposed to blathering to the camera, will probably keep them occupied for some time. Even with their incredibly narrow definition of governing.

So unless KHH's boyfriend is already under government watch for something, I think KHH needs to stop hyperventilating, and proceed calmly (if reasonably swiftly) with his wedding plans. I say this as the former spouse of an undocumented immigrant who, although a hard worker, certainly did not contribute hundreds of thousands of dollars to, or create jobs for, the US economy.
About donating to Planned Parenthood -- anyone who's a federal employee like me might want to do it through the Combined Federal Campaign. I do that so my contribution comes directly out of my (taxpayer-funded) salary, no comingling funds with The Wild Boar's private university paycheck.

That way I can say, "Tax Dollars, Bitches! Tax! Dollars! Neener neener neener!"

I encourage my fellow civil servants to do likewise.
Bravo, Dan. Thank you for this column. Few things have made me feel an better this past week. This did.
Reminder for liberals living in red states: in 2020, we'll have our next census. That means your warm body will award your awful state more Representatives to the House and more votes in the electoral college.

If you've ever wanted to move someplace less shitty, get on the ball and get the fuck out before 2020.
KHH should marry his boyfriend and feel no guilt about the timing. Countless straight couples have gotten married earlier than they would have due to a surprise event (usually a pregnancy but legal issues too), and many of them have stayed married.

So get married, and if anyone asks say "We were worried Trump would repeal gay marriage." It is true. If it doesn't work out, get a divorce after your BF has his green card in hand and part ways knowing you both did the right thing.
The challenges ahead should be viewed as a marathon, not a sprint between one loud demonstration and another. It is an opportunity to make thoughtful points to friends, family, co workers, and total strangers that racial equality, affordable housing, women’s rights, marriage to all, and many other issues all go hand in hand

It may be scary and hard at times - not intended- yet much more likely to change some hearts and minds than yelling, “You idiot, what did you vote????”
As we used to say in the program, “One day at a time.”
And speaking of “the program”- it should be noted that sex is one of our defense/escapist choices when it comes to dealing with bad news.
In some extreme situations, and I don’t think this is the case for LW1; it may resemble the use of alcohol, drugs, or compulsive food consumption.
Please don’t mention any of this to Dan and the experts.
People need look no further than Hillary Clinton, who urged disappointed volunteers to take the time with friends and family, or whatever else gives you some real pleasure, which would definitely include having sex. Hillary herself said she "took her dog for a walk," which is a well known Clinton euphemism for fuck Bill.
Bill Clinton's impeachment vote was so tense, my wife (then girlfriend) and I shagged the hell out of each other while watching C-SPAN.
@13 That's why they say, "Don't move to Canada, move to a swing state!"
There don't need to be different labels put on post-trauma sex. Sex is life affirming. Feelings of grief, loss or shock are commonly remedied with sex, regardless of the event. What better time to remind yourself that you're alive?
Like @2, Jade Margery, I also WISH I was joyously fucking instead of feeling like I'd been run over by a semi, and then the semi backed over me--again and again--and again for the next 20 straight years. I have sat in my beloved car for comfort and solace. Music, VWs, and cats continue to offer comfort. We must topple the rigged system.
I am donating to ACLU and Planned Parenthood, and continue to contribute to my local PP clinic when I can. Hillary is my president, and I will have no sympathy for anyone who voted for Trump under his arrogance, lies and vitriol--especially when he and his fellow henchpigs fail to deliver what they promised in making America "great".
It is now time to Wake America Up.
@13 MiscKitty: It frightens me how blood red the majority of states have become east of Washington State and west of New York.
@8 highly amusing, yes I have been abroad. The LW *and* his BF are both Americans, so the two of them up and moving permanently to Canada is not easy. If he married a Canadian, easier of course.

Note: I am talking about permanent residency, legal work permits / visa, access to Canadian health insurance as a national, the whole deal. Of course, up and moving for a few months is very easy, at least for OECD 20 nationals (if you're from a developing economy, it can be tough just getting a tourist visa).

(And actually, I am a naturalized citizen myself, and a good portion of my friends are also first generation Americans.)
@7 Thank you for this! I didn't know Québec maintains its own immigration! Good to know. I like Montréal and do speak French... (too bad it's so damned cold there in the winter)
@8 I've also gotten work visas for other countries than either of my dual citizenships. It is easy if you have a job and your employer sponsors your work visa. But just upping and moving, with work privileges to go work for who you want? Sadly not easy.

Kwame Anthony Appiah writes eloquently how discriminating on the basis of citizenship and preventing free movement of non-wealthy individuals is morally wrong and "open borders" would be a more just world as the rich can live and work where they want already, the middle class elite with some difficulty can chose what country to live in, but everyone else is stuck.
Thank you, Dan, for recommending continued activity in what we all love.
I'd be lost without everyone and everything positive right now, and I am
still reeling with mortification, shock and sadness from November 8th.
I LOVE your thinking, Wild Sow @11!
Delta35 @23: The LW's boyfriend is not American.
I had sex on election night too! In celebration of our new President. So happy it wasn't crooked Hillary. As for gay marriage Trump wont touch it. He isn't anti gay. Read up before you believe everything. He is pro LGBT. Sad thing is I remember when Hillary said marriage should be between man and woman. Also remember she wanted to build a "fence" on the border. But somehow that all forgotten.
marilynsue @ 17
Not sure where you are right now, but very possibly thanks to people like your great-grand I’d like to say something in praise of Puget Sound “older white people,” or at least some of them.
Over a month ago I expressed my concerns with a recent Savageville production of the Hansel and Gretel opera, and how a man depicted the witch in a manner that I perceived as a derogatory draggy way. After expressing my concerns with the opera director I was challenged to go and watch the show.
I went in my female persona which appeared to be a totally non-issue with the mostly, I mean at least 92.4%, older white people.

Unfortunately the show had its own unnecessary attempting-to-be-cool draggy moments. Chief among them was the witch shaking her grotesque oversized fake breasts while bowing to the crowd at the very end.
I expressed some of my concerns during the after show talk attended by some75 people, most of them… yes, that’s right, older white people.
Much to my surprise people clapped when I was done. An older white man sitting next to his older white wife and both looked very much like a life-long Bellevue republican talked after me and totally backed me up. A cis woman about my age (just for a reference: EmmaLiz speculated couple of weeks ago that I’m older than her. I suspect EmmaLiz is around 47.5 yo) said she was offended by this portrayal of women I general, and a lesbian couple who had their hands up throughout the talk were intentionally ignored by the seemingly gay man who ran the show and must have been taken by surprise by this broad coalition.

Once it was over an old white dude wearing a suit came up to me and said in a low voice, “They would have never dared casting a real woman for that role,” which is exactly what I told the general director in my second email to him which he never responded to.

To their credit, I don’t think the opera meant any intentional harm. This week they show “As One- a transgender story,” and your best chance to view it is today, Thursday.…

Bad paper @ 19
The Clarence Thomas vote was soooo much hotter; we may even have few more of him soon.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg is also old and white, assuming Jews are considered “white.”
(warning: white US racists often repeat their support of a militant version of Israel as a “proof” of their otherwise fake tolerant credentials)
@ 20 - Exactly. Moving to a swing state or a blue state will be taking a small step towards either turning a swing state solidly blue or redistributing electoral college votes and House Reps to a state that is already blue.

And as an added bonus, you'll be happier. (I'm speaking from personal experience.)
looney @ 28
So lets say prez-elect proved to be an ethical person, a wonderful family man, and that despite some concerns he is not going to scrap a law he inherited.
Please give us a list of positive legislative moves him and his vice may have for us.
JULIE - I encourage all your readers to fuck out the stress from this election.
I'm not sure about reducing sex to a stress reliever. But I agree that it's a nice side effect this election season. So long as it's not with a trump supporter+woman. Roe v Wade is getting hammered already. & personally I don't like using trump as a synonym for winning anymore.

KHH - Is it still worth it to try? What do I do if the government takes away the love of my life?
Isn't that always the question. Is it worth it. What do you gain, what do you lose. I hope you are both good guys and choose to commit to supporting each other. Otherwise, you could look into legal immigration, or moving to your boyfriend's home country. Perhaps you would be inspired to activism or lobbying. I would expect a lot of notice if there are big changes to immigration policy going through.

GIVE - You helped support women's health. Thank you.
You can't have barefoot and naked in the kitchen without unplanned pregnancy. Eliminate that factor, and women can do the job as good as a man most of the time.. and better sometime.. (and worse sometime..)

Women are 1/2 the population, and absolutely necessary to its survival. And none of us want to worry about being punished for miscarriages, under suspicion that we're aborters and thus next to murderers. That's the other end of Roe v Wade overturned, fertilized eggs are legally protected nonsense. When the alternative to an abortion is an early delivery, sure, make it law, but make sure the resulting ward of the state is valued. Given care for its well being until adulthood, including the needs for safety and security that seems to be missing from the present foster system. But until you can adequately care for state wards, the children born already, stop working on protecting fertilized eggs (when boyfriend removed the condom midcoitus, or birth control fails.. when awful immoral person decides to have sex for pleasure instead of procreation so must carry the child to term.. when awful immoral person was forcibly impregnated?)

end rant
CMD @15, well said. Thank you for this thoughtful and inspiring response. We shall overcome.

Bad P @19, your anecdote reminded me of an old joke. Why do Canadians prefer to do it doggy-style? -So they can both keep watching the hockey game on the TV.

Philo @36, not a rant. You make one of the best and clearest-cut cases for pro-choice advocacy that I have read since the election results came in. We must all come together as the Loyal Opposition to help preserve the principle of reproductive choice as a basic human right, and prevent further erosion of that right over the next four years...and, if you are at all religious or spiritual, please join me in praying that all our living Supremes still have a few more good years left in 'em.
CMDwannabe @ 29,

The witch in _Hansel and Gretel_ is often played by a tenor. In most of the several productions I've seen, the part was played by a man, with campy fake breasts. In fact, I remember the spectacular bursting of a beanbag breast in a dress rehearsal.
Dan, I respectfully disagree. Sex makes most things worse. I'm. It saying to avoid it but it makes nothing better.
@15 CMDwannabe, @17 marilynsue, and @18 Sublime Afterglow: Well said by the three of you and so many others commenting. Thank you and bless you.
@33 Nobody is a safe target for abuse, Hunter! Shame on you!
@39 Rokchok: I know I'm not going to want PIV, if ever again, for a long, long time.
What chills me is knowing that, although he lives in a distant blood red state and hasn't
tried contacting me in a long time, my anger-obsessed, mentally unhinged ex-spouse
is most likely laughing his ignorant ass off right now after so abysmal an election.

I interrupt my Farewell Tour to post a rather delicious idea I had yesterday. It is unlikely that any of the assembled company will recall my first inkling that Mrs C's campaign was tempting karma, which came about in her selection of a particular surrogate with a glittering resume. And it was a glittering resume, full of every honour and prize, except for the greatest one of all.

We are still left to speculate about the identity of the first woman elected. Let us hope that even Mr Miller does not want Mrs C to run again, and Mrs O has wisely declined. But the more I consider the matter, the more I think our surrogate could build herself a nice political resume in about ten years or so, assuming it takes a little time to . And it would be rather delicious to see her gain something to compensate her for her greatest failure. With all that in mind, I advance for the consideration of the assembled company as president-elect of 2028: Michelle Kwan.
Marmer @38
The mezzo was changed to a tenor some 20 years after the first performance at the end of the 19th century. The composer altered the music and only a man could deliver, but it never called for a campy, draggy interpretation.
I’m aware that some of us who grew up on horrible depictions of any shade of trans may be a bit sensitive to the issue, as it may have affected our own self-esteem and possibly contributed to others’ fear and hatred.

The campy version is fairly new and was probably included in this particular production in order to be seen as “cool.” The opera’s only ads on this site- catering mostly to hip youngsters, aging queers, and other disappointed liberals- featured nothing but the most grotesque pictures of the witch’s appearance.
I was unpleasantly surprised that we had to go through this again in this time and age, and I hope the young boys and girls who watched the show will grow up to be who they are and be accepted by their parents.
I’m delighted that the life-long Bellevue republican grandparents are already with us.

Hunter @ 35
That’s what she said.
Venn @42, welcome back and please consider canceling your Farewell Tour! We have missed you here.

Michelle Kwan, hmm. I prefer Elizabeth Warren. But celebrity appears to be superior to political prowess in this day and age, so your choice may be the best strategically.

@ auntie griz -

I'm from Oklahoma, so the racism and misogyny Trump showcased in this election wasn't a departure from the typical deplorable background radiation I'm used to.

And that's the thing about Republican awfulness: yes, you really do get used to it.

Living in a red state is a lot like living with a debilitating chronic illness: everything is fucked but your perception becomes so warped that the degree of awful doesn't really register except when you mention a symptom to someone on the outside and they are horrified.

For example: Our schools had to shut down early because they didn't have enough money to keep the lights on. To cut costs, they're hiring people to teach who are not certified to teach. That keeps the first grade class sizes down to about 30 six year olds per classroom. No, no teaching aids. Just one adult teaching 30 six year olds to read.
Or: My husband got a raise and it knocked us into a higher taxes bracket. So our state taxes went down.

Or: Our state has been having earthquakes that are serious enough to cause major property damage. They are the direct result of wastewater disposable from fracking, so insurance companies refuse to cover the damages. The cities started banning fracking. Our city council blocked fracking under our water supply . The state responded by banning cities from banning fracking.

Or: We have a combined 9% sales tax. On food.

This is all what passes for "normal" in states controlled by Republicans. It's a neat trick: Republicans break the government, then the voters are disgusted by the dysfunction so they hate government, so they vote for people who run on how much they hate government. Then those people get elected and they break the government.

And when government is broken, the quality of life deteriorates. Which drives people to the prosperity gospel churches. (That’s a-whole-nother can of worms.) And that, of course, just makes things worse. Meanwhile, women and minorities become convenient targets. It makes them feel better about their own shitty lives to have someone to be "better than."

We got the fuck out a few months before the election and I can't tell you how glad I am that we did.
And MIscKitty, by the sound of how the EC is worked out, it's just these sorts of people who have the inch. Hence republicans keep winning the EC vote for president even if not the majority
vote. It all appears very corrupt and very undemocratic. America, the banana 🍌 republic.
I thought Susan Saradon was looking toward being the first female president.
Our PM is bending over to accomodate the illegitimate president-elect, because trade and Australia 🇦🇺 just can't get by without our daddy country , 🇺🇸.
Obama better deal with the pipeline and the FBI director before he leaves office.
Public education in your country, for school children, doesn't sound very adequate.
No wonder so much of the population is ignorant. And the Republican leadership, the White mainly male one, they gonna screw everybody a bit more. And so nobody notices, this trump man and his cronies, gets you to turn on each other.
It's like watching a narcissistic daddy playing mind fucks with his family. Keeping them scared, so they are easily manageable.
There's lots of books around describing narcissistic behaviour and how to deal with it.
Hunter @33: As Philophile says, women are (slightly more than) half the population. That's a lot more people who might potentially be offended by negative stereotyping than the trans and genderqueer audience.

Rokchok @39: Are you referring to sex's occasional negative side effects like pregnancy or STDs? If not, could you elaborate on how sex makes things worse? I know sex can't magically make Donald Trump not president, but it can certainly make the participants forget about who's president for a brief and enjoyable while.

MiscKitty @47: Sad, but very enlightening. Thanks for your perspective.
@ Lava - The EC needs to go. But it'll take a Constitutional amendment to get rid of it, and the Republicans already have a bullshit line about how "only the voters cities will matter!!1!1" if we kill it. To fully understand what that line means, you need to keep in mind that Republicans have spent quite some time dog whistling that "real Americans" don't live in "inner cities," "real Americans" live in "real America."

In short, getting rid of the EC will be a herculean task. It's worth the effort and we should absolutely move in that direction, but in the meantime, we need to pursue other avenues for change as well. Eliminating gerrymandering comes to mind.

Also, if you want an idea of just how bad education in this country is, consider this: Texas has a great deal of control over what information is included in textbooks that are used nationwide. And they are pushing for textbooks that "promote Christian fundamentalism, boost conservative political figures, and force-feed American 'exceptionalism,' while downplaying the historical contributions of minorities."* California is pushing back, but the results are still pretty grim. Just one example: the 2015 textbooks present slavery as “a side issue to the Civil War."

Houston Press goes into more detail here:…


A good reminded those those who haven't already given. I donated to both ACLU and PP way back on Orange Wednesday.
Msr. Vennominon @ 42 - farewell tour? No, where are you going..? You are one of the few Sloggers who was on here back when I joined. Don't go.

BTW: #1. Election Day was my birthday, &, #2., I was prepping for an invasive medical procedure the next day.

The election was horrible for many & some people have it wayyyyy worse than I do going into Trump's America. But that is definitely the worst. Birthday. EVER.
@42 Vennominon: Farewell Tour? Although we don't always see eye to eye, and sometimes I find the context of your comments hard to understand, please don't go----you're one of our regulars, and were around long before I joined the comment threads.
@47 MiscKitty: Oklahoma sounds like an particularly horrible state to live in. Earthquakes from fracking--but they still call climate change a "hoax"? School dismissals just because they "can't afford to keep the lights on"? I'm glad to read that you and your husband moved somewhere else, hopefully less blood red.
@48 & @49 LavaGirl: So spot on. I'm sorry to learn that the Australian government is so dependent upon the U.S. for trade.
Speaking of which, I have a dumb question: where do I take my marginally existent music business from here? Did you visit my website and / or listen to my composed music?
What did you think? If I will always just be ekeing by--I'd personally as well as professionally be living my passion. I would love to have your thoughts.
@52 Gou Tongzhi: I just did, too.
@53 Eva Hopkins: I am really sorry that your birthday was on election day--that sucks!
@53 Eve Hopkins, again: ...especially when you were prepping for surgery on the very same day!
Sending TLC hugs, VW beeps, and a speedy recovery.
KHH - I have complete empathy, but I want more information before signing off on your plan to immediately marry,

How long have you been together? How truly committed are you to each other? Are you socially, politically, and sexually compatible (including a reasonable match-up of libidos?) Are you still in the early NRE (new relationship energy) phase of your relationship, or have you been together long enough to see each others warts and deficiencies, and decide you can overlook them and still commit to a lifetime of all the struggle, sacrifices, and compromises it takes to make a successful marriage? If you're sure you're doing the right thing, and you and your boyfriend truly know you want to commit to a life together, good luck, I'll support you completely - just be sure this is what you really want before you make an irrevocable commitment, which will impact the rest of your life. I can understand your anxiety, just be very sure you are quite aware of what you're signing up for if you decide to get married, and what your motives and expectations are.
Eva, a fellow Scorpio. Happy belated birthday.

I read Dylan isn't going to Sweden. He's very grateful however to be receiving the Nobel
He's my music of choice during these turbulent times. His words and music coming from a previous turbulent time.
Trump the business man must be starting to realise all this civil unrest is not going to be good for the money makers. He needs to rethink his inner team.
The other morning as I was writing a card to Hillary Clinton, I made three donations. The first was to Planned Parenthood. Originally it was going to be in honor of Mike Pence, but at the last minute I decided to make it a positive contribution in honor of the Presidential candidate who had given the strongest, most full-throated endorsement of the right to choose of any candidate in a presidential debate ever: Hillary Clinton. The second was to the Children's Defense Fund. You can probably guess who inspired that donation and in whose name it was in honor. The third was to convert the monthly donation I had been making to Hillary's campaign to be a monthly donation to the national ACLU, because they are going to have a lot of First Amendment battles on their hand with this incoming Administration's stated vow to try to make it easier for the sitting president to sue the media. (First step of many a dictator trying to dismantle democracy.)

I wish I could give more to others right now -- the Trevor Project, the Environmental Defense Fund, and so many others whose work will be sorely tested these days.
@Kevin_BGFH: I wish I could give more, too. I love your post. Thank you.
@59 Kevin_BGFH: Bless you, Kevin. I wish I could give more, three, and, also like nocutename, (@60) also love your post and offer a second thank you.

@18 Sublime Afterglow: Music, Volkswagens, and cats for me it is, then. Bless you and President Hillary Clinton for the wonderful suggestion. These are what keep my spirits uplifted, and continue to be most therapeutic.
Yes Kevin, Hillary did stand up for women, it was beautiful to see her do that. It was a big risk and she probably lost votes because she was so clear about her support of women's rights over their own bodies.

The Electoral College hasn't met yet. From my scattered reading, beside being set up to please the white slave owners, it is also in place to stop an unsuitable person from becoming President.
As well as Clinton has won over a million more votes than trump. Sign the petition. Can't hurt. The guy seems to be doing a sensible job. Taken it up full time.
@64 LavaGirl: I did--believe me, I sure did! Thanks for the important reminder.
Please email me---I'd love to know how you and your family are doing.

Everybody be strong, resilient, safe, and healthy this Thanksgiving.
It's bizarre---my mother was pregnant with me on 11/22/1963 when
U.S President John F. Kennedy was brutally assassinated in Dallas.
This year's horrifically tragic election results are leaving me as many
have said they felt on Thanksgiving, 53 years ago.
I haven't read the whole thread, so forgive me for repeating what others may have said. By all means, marry your boyfriend right away. If you were a heterosexual couple, I might advise you to go the route that my husband and I did - way back in the year Y2K - and have him leave the country and apply for a K-1 fiancé visa. But I don't think the US has gotten around to granting those, and they may not, now. Marrying here in the states in NO WAY automatically grants your boyfriend any status, but it can only help any immigration proceeding that you undertake. Even back when we applied for the K-1 visa, it took two and a half years, thousands of dollars (In application fees; not lawyer's fees), and we were separated for most f that time. It may be easier and shorter depending on what country your boyfriend is from - my husband is Mexican and all the wait times are longer due to a higher number of proceedings. Best of luck!
Okay after reading through the thread - I did the same as Kevin@59 - immediately donated to as many progressive organizations as I could afford to. I chose Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, and the Southern Poverty Law Center. To make the biggest impact, I chose to make a
Monthly donation in the lowest amount that lets them count me as a member - which in each case was $5/month. Seeing as how I spend $5/day on coffee and/or beer daily, I figured I could swing it. Also, all of my nearest and dearest (except my own offspring) are going to get the same Christmas present from me this year: a donation made in their name to a progressive organization that I think they would identify with. Some on my list are the Nature Conservancy, Greenpeace, Doctors Without Borders, and some smaller regional or local organizations that specialize in immigration advocacy. The Northwest Immigrants Rights Project is a good one.
Very weak response is right. We might not even get to the magic number this week.

(Haha, see what I did there?) :D
BDF - VNV Nation was excellent! Great show and atmosphere, wonderful audience, everyone dancing and having a great time.
@69 BiDanFan: Ha ha! You did it again--congrats!

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