Savage Love Jan 24, 2017 at 4:00 am



People who think your kink is disgusting and yet acceptable can express that by saying "that squicks me." Another common phrase is Your Kink is Not My Kink But Your Kink is OK (YKINMKBYKIOK).

That's different from saying your kink is not OK, or is acceptable in fantasy only. Along those lines I like this essay (bedsores!):…

As Dan says, there will always be kink shamers. If you figure that most of the kink-shamer-shaming is done by people who are either themselves fans of your kink (some of whom get off on it being disgusting) or else squicked by it, then that reflects plenty of disgust to inspire you and your partner.
Personally, I always think it's annoying that so many people find piss play disgusting. It only means fewer partners for me to enjoy it with.
Personally, I would LOVE to see Trumpzilla and his evil empire given a golden shower of elephant piss.

Dan, how much are your ITMFA pins? I will proudly attach it to my knitted pink Pussyhat.
@1 Hunter: Congrats on making first post this week.
I responded to BiDanFan's and your comments from last week's Savage Love.
Fear not, my responses weren't venomously aimed at either of you.

Good one, Joe--I always hated Tweety.
I will wear my pink hat everywhere.
LavaGirl, nocutename, BiDanFan, sb53, et al? Griz could use a hug.

Currently, I am volunteering at the local Domestic Violence Sexual Assault Services center.
The Women's March is global, and we must keep on moving. The future of this planet depends on it.
@auntie griz: Hugs. It's a dark time and we could all use a little comforting.
@8 nocutename: Hugs right back atcha, and many thanks. I need it, too.
People laugh at me for sitting outside in my sweet little VW Beetle, but my
car is filled with loving memories of both my parents and so many good times.
Every time I sit outside meditating, I feel a warm automotive hug while in the driver's
seat. Music, meditation, and little road ventures out bring us peace.
I have been sleeping with ear plugs as well as my fan cranked up to block unwanted noise---local trains are just horrendous, and now some goofy gal upstairs in our building has the most insanely high pitched yippy hyena giggle, like she's on speed. And people in our building think I'M weird. It's good I'm seeing a therapist.

Luckily, the weather has warmed back to PNW January normal---highs in the 40s, lows in the 30s overnight. I'm lucky to have my VW and a car cover for the cold weather. My VW guru of 8 years has retired and closed his shop, but recommended a reputedly good mechanic for future maintenance. Hopefully my new VW guy is as good and won't charge an arm and a leg.

Washington State has a typically corrupt GOP asshole masquerading as a state senator, while moonlighting as Trump's campaign manager. Now, gloating that he's got Trumpzilla's ear he's threatened to gut the EPA and reverse protections on sacred tribal lands, our waterways (i.e: Puget Sound, Salish Sea, the San Juan Island Archipelago, et al). He says he won't quit his senate seat, can't wait to double dip for his free frequent flyer miles to and from D.C. What an asshole.

Anyway, nocutename--thanks a million again. Positrons as my mom would say, hugs, and VW beeps your way. XO, Griz
I loved letter #1 and #2. The past few weeks have been a bit of a snore. Now, we've got some wit and good writing.
Grizelda: Sending hugs from across the pond. Thank you for what you do to help others in a worse place.

Speaking of which, I've been thinking about that "Don't forget: white women voted for Trump" placard from the march which has been shared everywhere. My initial reaction was that it was, A, misplaced, and B, mean-spirited, as clearly (no matter what Mike Pence thinks) none of the white women on the anti-Trump marches are the ones who voted for Trump. So the only things the sign accomplished were to spoil a rare and badly needed sense of positivity and shame people for their race.

But thinking further about it, while "you're part of the problem" may have been unfair, "you need to be part of the solution" is a valid point to make. (I much preferred the "So we'll see you nice white ladies at the next Black Lives Matter march, right?" placard which made the same point without being a dick about it.) My next question is, how can I avoid being one of "those" white feminists, and how can I be a better ally to women of colour? Suggestions welcome.

Surfrat @10: Those of us who read the SLLOTD are snoring at the re-run of L1. L2 is interesting, though -- I can definitely relate to the concept of kinks being fun, in part, because they are transgressive. If most men weren't frightened of the idea of being pegged, I doubt I would enjoy it as much as I do!
LW1 was on the daily thread. He's quite the social media follower.
Hugs Grizelda. I make myself check my fb feed to face what horror these vermin have got their stooge boy to sign off on.
And the resistance grows.
Piss Lady sounds like those teenagers who stop liking music bands "now that they're mainstream" or those exhibitionists who can only be satisfied by having sex where they are sure they will shock other people (and sex clubs don't work for them for this very reason).
I get her complain, but honestly, it makes her sound annoying and petty? childish?. I don't know. and paradoxically enough, she seems to be shaming people who shame kink-shamers. it's like the snake finally bit its own tail.
So basically, being kinkshamed IS your kink? Not to worry, there are people who are more than willing to consensually call you a filthy, dirty pervert. That being said, if you're intentionally trying to disgust people so that you can get off on it, that's unethical if they haven't consented to it. Basically, don't make other people unwilling participants in your exhibitionism, humiliation, disgust, or shaming kinks, and you're fine.
Solution: find someone whose kink is kinkshaming.
I'd love a ITMFA button, but I don't need 10 of them. :'(
@17: With the per-order charge to us (which we absorb), and the shipping charge ($5), it didn't make any sense to sell single orders of the buttons—it would've wound up costing someone nearly $10 to buy a button! Find a few friends who'd like buttons and go in on a 10 pack or pass them around at a demo!
So excited to see the ITMFA stuff again — I still have my button from the Bush years! Now that I have a child, I will tell her and any of her friends that ask that it stands for Impeach the Mega Fascist Already
Ugh, POSW, piss-play?!? That is so disgusting! I was actually nauseous for a few minutes after reading of it in your letter. Gross!
@19 AZUl: good acronym for the underage set to use

stating the obvious, It probably would require a cold day in Hell before DT would be impeached since (1) it requires both the Senate and the HoR to impeach a POTUS and (2) both carry significant GOP majorities. Additionally, since it is likely that DT swore adulation and promised to support and further all the politically, economically, and socially regressive legislation and the platform of the GOP if the GOP in turn supported him, writing, calling, and emailing your Congresspersons, POTUS, and the GOP leadership about these regressive issues and legislation is perhaps the way to go.

Get out and vote in your local and state elections, including those for towns' council, mayor, school boards, and county because it is likely these same candidates will eventually run for higher and higher positions up the political food chain.

The wearing of buttons, et al., with ITMFA emblazoned on them is at best symbolic and the money raised purchases of these items will go to important causes. However, you can create and sign petitions on the White House petitions website at:

To me, a particularly underwhelmingly signed but important petition I would like signed by all is "Demand Trump administration add LGBT rights, climate change, and civil rights back to list of issues on site | We the People: Your Voice in Our Government"(…)
RE: cold day in hell

Either a cold day in hell or after DT signs all the racist, sexist, politically, socially, and economically regressive legislation passed by the GOP Congress and THEN Congress impeaches him and gets the POTUS they really want in stuck-in-a-1950s-time-capsule Mike Pence.
@18 (Dan Savage, ahem): Yep. All it took was one simple Facebook post and now I've got 10+ friends lined up who want a piece of the hot button action.
It used to be a health thing, in the early hippy days, to drink one's own piss. Can't remember the reasoning. Those were the days my friend.
Random song lines, placed in your post.
A challenge for the battle weary.
@22. He's not as mad as Trump. And yes he is the true viper in this story. this shit is on, who ever is in charge. Trump is becoming a liability, for everybody, his colleagues included.
Just remember to catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. ( save it for a rainy day).
Ricardo @ 3
I suspect the latest exposure that piss play is getting nowadays is also likely to increase curiosity, as well as encourage some to come out.
Frankly, if it was found out that prez likes modeling lingerie, possibly even being pegged by BDF or others; it wouldn’t have slowed me much if any at all.

BDF @ 11
At least in the march I was in a third of us where men, vast majority looked straight and often walked next to a woman, and most of the BLM signs were held by ordinary white folks.
Media picks sensations, one of the reasons dt got so much free coverage.

@25 LavaGirl I believe that Mike Pence is in many ways far more dangerous than DT but it would be a neck in neck race to see who could do most egregious damage to our country.

The initial investigation and impeachment of Bill Clinton cost $39.5M before the Lewinsky investigation was added. An estimated $80M was spent when it was all said and done. It's interesting that the GOP is the alleged fiscally Conservative party yet they are willing to throw seemingly endless amounts of taxpayer money at pet programs (e.g., military vehicles, ships, subs, aircraft that the military leadership doesn't want) and investigating their "enemies" (e.g., HRC and WJC). The "P" in GOP could stand for "pork" for many in Congress.

I have no idea how much in today's dollars a presidential impeachment would cost but I wonder how the Tea Partiers and/or the fiscally "ultraconservatives" in Congress would rationalize spending what would likely be more than the GNP of a small country to impeach DT.
CMD @ 26 - How I wish that would happen. Luckily, I have some regular piss play partners nowadays, but the more the merrier!

Now you put the thought of Twitler being pegged by BDF in my brain, and it just won't leave! If I do something really perverted tonight, it'll all be your fault (just joking - of course it won't, it'll all be mine).
Hunter @13, it's *not* that kink-shamer-shaming itself provides the desired aura of disgust.

Instead, I'm saying that plenty of kink-shamer-shamers still feel disgust for whatever the kink is. There's no contradiction between (a) finding something disgusting and (b) shaming those who kink-shame it.

So I was urging POSW to look on the bright side: most of the people shaming the kink-shamers probably still find your play disgusting. They just don't want you or others harassed for it.

Griz @7 -- hugs if you still want them. And thank you for your work at the domestic violence center.

Nocutename @8, dark days indeed.

He could get impeached in 2018 or 2019, assuming we elect a Democratic Congress (which, as everyone knows, is more important than electing a Democratic President, right? Right?). Anyway, that is the main focus (take the House and Senate). Then impeachment sounds good, but not necessarily removal. Simply making him very weak, while he struggles with his reelection sound much better than a President Pence, who would very much play the martyr. Trump is one of the least likable candidates ever to run, and that won't change in four years.
Point of Order:

Trump's "Golden Shower shows" featured:

a) Him peeing on sex workers?
b) Him being peed on by sex workers?
c) Two sex workers peeing on each other?

Sporty- Your comment reassures me that peeing a la carte wouldn’t be a big deal for Trump supporters.
As I’m sure you know no one hires a group of prostitutes to just pee on a bed. This was the after party, post ejaculation/s food and booze.
And the Russians have it all.
Possibly one of two reasons: 1) human urine apparently contains significant amounts of melatonin, and, 2) it is/was a practice in classical yoga, called Amaroli, which likely relates to the first reason; yogis would drink it as a meditation aid.
Thank you spunkbutter(?) @ 35. I'll leave this topic with your excellent post.
Did I read somewhere that Pence calls his wife Mother? These people are strange as well as twisted mean fucks.
Mother's little helper
LW2 is a hipster kinkster. She was into piss before it was cool.
@35: Even beyond Urine Therapy there's always-…

@38: My kink? Oh... you probably haven't heard of it.
Undead- I clicked the link. In some countries “eggs” is also the common word for “testicles”. That “Virgin boy eggs” title gave me an uncomfortable feeling…
Those Chinese. Knocking on heaven's door trying to collect samples in the US.
@11 BiDanFan: Thanks and a big hug to you, too, and for all you do. I like your thinking of constructive and positive ways to become part of the solution.
@12 LavaGirl: Hugs, positrons, and VW beeps right back.
@29 EricaP: I have contacted the local Domestic Violence / Sexual Assault Services center to see about volunteering--maybe the best way to help is in office support. Big hugs right back. XO
@31 Ross: My question is: would 2018 be soon enough to stop the insane level of irreparable damage Trumpzilla is wreaking upon the US and the world?
Lava @ 41
They'll never be able to get it here. This is the stuff that makes the over priced "beer" in our sports venues.
Dan and everybody: Okay, I fully and humbly admit to being THE reigning Queen of Off-Topic here on Savage Love, but I have what started as something hopeful suddenly turn all but shot down by bureaucratic (quite possibly GOP related) snags:
Upon looking into a VA program for Voc Rehab Education, I am a U.S. Navy Gulf War veteran (1989-1993) with a BA / Music (WWU) and an AS / Visual Communications (Graphic Arts) from the Art Institute of Seattle. I have since exhausted my Montgomery G. I. Bill Chapter 30 benefits, but through the VA Voc Rehab program's Montgomery G. I. Bill Chapter 31, I have one year's funding left for additional training--hopefully associated with music and education. This cannot be a master's in music; it has to be completed within one year, and I allegedly have a twelve year umbrella with which to further pursue additional music teaching certification. I am currently on 50% VA disability and seeing a VW therapist for military related PTSD. Does anyone know of one year programs by certified schools (VA approved) offering certification for music therapy and /or instruction? My local community college won't accept me, even through their VA office because I already have a BA degree in my field, and the nearby Voc-Tech College focuses on engineering, welding, and nursing--none of which is my forte nor remotely of interest. Just working at a public school district--preferably locally--20 hours a week as a band geek and /or music librarian would thrill me no end. My VA VRE rep informs me that there IS a demand for this, and we have the documentation to prove it. Now, how and where to find that VA-approved one year certification training program?
Your thoughts and ideas are greatly appreciated.
Meanwhile, Griz is back tonight on her second symphony score, first movement.

Now back to Dan the Man and ITMFA!
@45 Ha ha ha---VW therapist (you all knew I meant VA therapist)! That's my best typo yet. Maybe I should just sit outside and meditate some more in my beloved car.
@40 CMDwannabe: I realize you're talking to undead ayn rand @39, but I'm curious: "In some countries, "eggs" is also used as the common word for "testicles"..." "Virgin Boy Eggs"(not sperm)? That is a bit disquieting, especially since testicles do not produce ova. Which countries use this dual-meaning terminology?

Anyway, my comment @45 is my own biggest personal / professional / educational challenge along with continued efforts in resistance to the Evil Empire for 2017 and beyond. New York Times economist Paul Krugman has publicly declared Trumpzilla mentally ill. Shit, I knew that from 3,000 miles away on the West Coast.
@ 47 - First, let me say I'm sorry to learn that you've encountered some snags on what souded like a promising path (and that I'm unable to offer any advice of value, having zero knowledge of the things that can be done in the US).

Now to answer your question: I don't know about English, but in Spanish, huevos (eggs) means testicles, and this leads to all sorts of absolutely hilarious double entendres (please note the sarcasm).
I love it when you speak Spanish, Ricardo.

Grizelda, great idea. Music Therapy. They are finding music is helping dementia patients, they respond and remember the words to songs.
How about an external course? One that requires a few live ins thru the year. There must be some amazing courses being offered in the US. Always look on the bright side of life. Dope helps.

Great art work again Joe.
@Dan, please get bumper stickers!!! That's what I really want!!!!
@45: "I have what started as something hopeful suddenly turn all but shot down by bureaucratic (quite possibly GOP related) snags"

I wouldn't be surprised. The GOP absolutely hates the military, vets, and their well-being.
Putting aside the anger I wish for the best for you this coming administration as all services are burned down In the coming privatization wave.
Aunt Zelda
Testicles are referred to as “eggs” because of their somewhat resembling shape, regardless of what they produce.
The term goes beyond Spanish and is common in many geographies such as the Middle East, other Mediterranean countries, and many more.
Griz @45 - The University of Washington offers a post-baccalaureate K-12 music teacher certification program for individuals holding a relevant BA, as you do. Requires 4 quarters of coursework followed by 2 quarters of student teaching, and you get a second Bachelor of Music degree in addition to the Washington State teaching credential. You may get credit for some of the coursework, based on your prior degree and life experience as a musician. More here:…
Once you have your teacher certification, you would qualify to apply for a 13-month certificate program to become a K-12 media librarian (well, more likely an assistant librarian, especially if you'd prefer a part-time schedule):…

I know the teacher certification program is slightly longer than the one year the Montgomery Bill will pay for, but there's no shame in also using (reasonable) civilian loans to help you achieve your career goals, and financial aid is almost always available for "non-traditional" (read: older than early 20s) students in the public university system. The financial aid folks are marvelous, and they are there to work with you and the VA to put together a financial package that you can swing. Good luck, from a fellow veteran!
Dear Auntie
Re "Eggs"
I seem recall reading somewhere years ago that in some cultures the testicles are indeed referred to as eggs. In the instance I recall the usage was slang.
Also on this topic, when I "discovered" my body around age 12/13 I recall feeling them and imagining their shape as egg-like. Not chicken-sized but maybe more robins=egg size???
Lava @ 50 - De hoy en adelante, solo comentare en español. Talvez asi ese pinche loco de muerto viviente me va a dejar de chingar con sus interpretaciónes erróneas de mis comentarios, que ni siquiera son tan complejos como para equivocarse, o por lo menos no tan seguido como lo hace ese culero.
Ricardo @57: Sería mejor antes de Google Translate.
(I'm sure the grammar in that is awful. It's been 30 years)
LOL Ricardo @57 nos dice cómo se siente realmente!

Not a native speaker by any means, but I can get by. When I was working in South America, I recall that calling someone a "huevón," derived from the word "huevo" which means "egg" or "testicle," was extremely derogatory - connoting that he was nothing more than a big fat testicle, I guess. I don't think there is a female equivalent term in Spanish, or at least I never heard it.
Shall we take the Huevos conversation to a slightly higher level?
Pendejo- pubic hair, meaning dumb ass, useless, kiddo, etc. Apparently common and benign in Argentina, yet semi-deadly in Mexico and central America.
And despite decades of shaving and waxing there’s also Pendeja.
Any Hungarian speakers among us?
Not a love verse, is it? Ricardo, mon sweetie pie, thank you. I'm enjoying the summertime, when the living is easy.
Bi @ 58 - The actual syntax is ok, but I'm not sure what you mean. If what you wanted to say is "it would have been better", that would be "haria sido mejor".

And sorry, my keyboard is set to French so I can't really do most Spanish orthographic accents.

Capricornius @ 60 - Huevón is no longer as offensive (at least in Mexico), it basically means a lazy bum by now. A lot of huevo-related words have followed suit. A few examples:
Echar la hueva = not doing anything (as when a friend calls and asks "Que estas haciendo? -Echando hueva.")
Me da hueva = it bores me, it annoys me, etc.
But, at the risk of falling into folk etymology, I think it derives that meaning from the proper sense of egg, since eggs just sit there doing nothing in a warm environment until they hatch...

CMD @ 61 - "Semi-deadly" may be a tad strong. But rather offensive, yes.

Lava @ 62 - No, not the love verse that you so obviously deserve. I had something to get off my chest, I guess. But here goes - more of a friendship verse, really.
Mi linda guerita que esta tan lejos,
ojala pudiera ir alla a mirarte en los ojos
y echarme una rica cervecita contigo,
fumando un churro y chismeando
sobre esos pobres gringos espantados
por Trump y las tormentas de invierno.
CMD @ 61 - I forgot to say : The difference between Argentinian and Mexican/Central American use is that the Argentinian's French and Italian roots are much more recent than the European roots of Mexico and Central America, so perhaps the former have merely kept their ancestors' good old habit of constantly throwing insults and vulgarities at each other, whereas the latter are a lot more polite... until they get angry (and when they do, you should run). That politeness no doubts come from being a mostly indigenous population long (and still) dominated by the white elites of (almost) pure European descent.
Ricardo- thanks for the historic and cultural perspectives, truly fascinating.
You should also check out the daily “One and Done?“
Both you and Belgian beers get an honorary mention.
CMD - Seeing it's a repeat, I hadn't really looked at it. But thanks for the tip, that thread is getting interesting. See you over there.
Ricardo @62 please allow me to translate for Lava, who I think speaks French but not Spanish. Unfortunately I will not catch the wonderful rhythm of your poem in the original language, although I will do my best. Please correct and amend as needed.

My beautiful blonde one, so far away,
I wish I could be there to look in your eyes
And share a great beer together,
Smoking a joint and gossiping
About those poor Americans frightened
By Trump, and the storms of winter.

CMD @61 not a Hungarian speaker, but I'm dying to know the punchline!
@49 Ricardo: Oh, my! So I have been eating chicken testicles all these years? Ha ha
@52 & @53: undead ayn rand: I shall continue to resist the Evil Empire. It's truly all we, the people for a democracy CAN do. One of many comforts: Senator Patty Murray, although her fifth term is already a nightmare, has officially declared the Trumpzilla Cabinet "a disgusting pack of swamp creatures". I couldn't agree more. The revolution has begun, and for the GOP may it be painfully bloody. The Repigs and their dupes deserve what they get.
@55 Capricornius: Thank you and bless you!! I have taken down the UW Music Dept information and will forward this to my VA DVOC. It says that the program is 13 months with student teaching, though---and I'm only allotted 12 months through the VA. But I have a 12-year time frame to work with to get this one-year certification. I'm definitely looking into this; I can take everything online because I live 85 miles from Seattle and the UW.
@54 CMDwannabe: That's right---testicles do have an oval, somewhat egg-like shape, don't they?. It just sounded funny.
@56 sb53: I love it----that would make them rockin' robins!
@57 Ricardo: I love it when te hablas en Espanol! @63: We need to build a wall around Trumpzilla, and include bars on the doors and windows so it can never again escape.
@61 CMDwannabe: Thank you for further terminology enlightenment.

Holy shit! I'm closer to the big number again?
Hah ha ha ha ha ha!! Thanks, everybody! I can't believe I made it again. Hitting 70 sounds even scarier though.
And speaking of cultural perspectives... last week I mentioned vlaamse frites, and later you talked about exotic dishes I was fond of... So in case that's what you were referring to, vlaamse frites translate as Flemish fries (because fries are Belgian, not French, as you probably already know, and the Flemish variety is truly the best in the world).

To be eaten with mayonnaise, of course.
@67 Capricornius: Thank you for the translation to Ricardo's poem to LavaGirl.
Ricardo, we have a lot to be frightened of, indeed--and it has only been a week since Trumpzilla has begun stinking up the Oval Outhouse.
My comment @ 71 was directed at CMD, sorry.

Cap @ 67 - Depending on the context, guera/guerita can translate as blonde or, more generally, just white. Apart from that detail, though, thumbs up for the translation! (This from a professional translator.)

I don't know Lava's hair colour, but even if she has dark hair, being Australian of European descent (I believe), she'd still be considered a guera. I've even heard relatively dark-skinned Mexicans being called guero simply because all their friends were darker, and each group needs its guero, as well as its flaco (skinny guy), its gordo (fat guy), its prieto (really dark-skinned guy), its puto (faggot), etc.
Just so you know if you don't already: in romance languages, the masculine is also the neutral form, so I'm not excluding women here. Indeed, until not too long ago, there used to be a store in Mexico City's center district called Ropa para Gorditas, i.e. Clothes for Chubby Women. No one is spared in this delightfully un-PC culture... but no one really minds.

Griz @ 69 - "We need to build a wall around Trumpzilla, and include bars on the doors and windows so it can never again escape"

Perhaps in the cold steppes of Siberia? I think it would like it there.

(And congratulations for hitting the magic number again.)

@ 72 - Well, it's not only you guys who are afraid. The whole world is.

Let's try to see the bright side: Trump will go down in history as the first person to make the entire population of the planet truly unite behind one cause: his impeachment.
Ricardo @73, thanks for the idiomatic Spanish lesson from a native speaker! I'm glad you liked my translation - I couldn't maintain the lyrical Spanish language rhythm, so I went for classic English iambic meter, as much as I could without taking all night to make all the syl-LA-bles work out just right.
@ 75 - Actually... I'm a native speaker of French. Spanish is my fifth language (but as you probably could guess, I spend a lot of time in Mexico). Sorry if I misled you. But don't worry, all that I said is based on facts, my studies in linguistics and twenty years of experience in translation.

As for my "poem", you probably spent more time translating it than I did writing it. But that's usually the case with translation: we worry about things like meter, whereas the author "just wrote it". It's nice to be on the other side for once, I must admit.
@63. Ricardo, a friendship poem, much better. Thanks.At these times, linked energy is what we need. May you stay forever young. Hugs.
@67. Capricornius. Thanks for that. What sweet words from Ricardo.
nights in white satin.
Capri @ 68
Sorry, no punch line. I brought it up since we discussed interesting expressions in different languages and they got some truly innovative ones in Hungary.

Ricardo @ 71
Thanks for the clarification. That said, I am still a conscientious objector when it comes to both mayonnaise and ketchup on my fries. Beer is obviously fine.
@ 80 - Doesn't beer make your fries all soggy?
CMD @80, please share some of your truly innovative expressions translated from the Hungarian! (That's what I meant by the "punch line" - no fair asking the question "Any Hungarian speakers among us?" and then failing to deliver the goods.)

I love to collect obscenity and sex terms from many different languages and cultures, and I'm in the mood to learn something new today!

In Québec they put thick brown gravy and cheese curds on their fries, and call it "poutine." I call it "heart attack in a bowl." But if you're a lumberjack in the great north woods, it's what you need to keep warm and keep working.
Capricornius @ 82 - Did you know that an American won the World Poutine Eating Championship in 2014? It's a plague: first Québec, then Canada, now the US, pretty soon the whole wide world!!!

I doubt any of the contestants have ever chopped wood for a living, so your description of "heart attack in a bowl" is getting more and more relevant each day. But poutine has at least one advantage: once you've seen what it looks like, it's hard to take Vlad seriously as a person when that mental image keeps popping up. (He is of course to be taken very seriously as a dangerous dictator.)
Ricardo @ 81
Beer is only there to help with digestion, breaking the starch, saturated fat and sodium into organic tofu-grade extremely healthy and cancer risk reducing protein.
I admit I made this up.

Capri @ 82
Poutine can be also found in Vancouver, BC and I consider it to be another misuse of potatoes.
Hungarian- Some childhood friends’ parents were born there and they always had interesting expressions. The very mild ones were something like “kutya gummi”, rubber dog, which meant something like, “no way you’re going to get it.”
“So after went to the store and got you the vanilla ice cream you wanted you‘re asking me now for a GGG one? Nah, kutya gumi is what you’re getting!”
Another one was about being in the way, or just standing around doing nothing. I don’t remember the original Hungarian expression, but the translation is “like a fart in the underwear,” which I sometimes use in the work place much to everyone’s delight.
When it comes to more poignant expressions, my favorite is “Lo’fasz a seggedbe “ (lofas ashe’gedbe’) which means “horse’s dick in your ass.”
(Very sadly and very cruel this apparently was a real life experience offered in some farm not too far from here few years ago until someone actually died.)
For more expressions, as well as a browser warning that “this site may not be safe” you can go to…
Rest assured, there are other sites available.

CMD @ 84 - "I admit I made this up"

And I was just about to go get me some fries and a beer...

I actually quite enjoy a poutine once every five years or so. The trick is to try a different variety every time (there are dozens, at least in the decent fries shops in Montréal like Frites Alors!).
Ricardo @73: The cold steppes of Siberia is a perfect spot for Trumpzilla. It can share a pen with Pence and Putin, and @74: It is comforting despite these horrific times, that the world is with those of us who did NOT vote for Trumpzilla and that we do not support its evil agenda. To think there is actually a Repig occupant of the White House infinitely more corrupt than Tricky Dicky (Nixon) or Dubya (GW Bush). Let's hope this brings the permanent death of the GOP.

I am so proud to have participated in the Bellingham, Washington Women's March on 01/21/17, and with a knitted pink hat to boot, amazing turnout (10-to 12,000 participants showing for what had been initially forecast 500-to 1,000!), extra WTA bus shuttles downtown, excellent event coordination, peaceful protesting, BPD escorting us and no reports of violence of civil disruption, and our own equally proud mayor's blessings.
I am looking into what I can do more to help Planned Parenthood and Domestic Violence / Sexual Assault Services (DVSAS).
@76 Ricardo: So you are a native Frenchman? Five languages--wow.
I'll bet you could make yourself at home anywhere in the world, as my brother can (he's multilingual, too).
So french fries are actually Belgian in their origin. That's interesting to know.
I had a feeling that french fries weren't really French, despite "les pommes d'terre frites".
But dipped in beer? My weakness was tartar sauce.
Oh, the good old days before I had to watch my carbs........*sigh*
Back to @55 Capricornius: Thank you once again for offering such a helpful link to the UW's available music programs. I have visited the UW Music Dept homepage online, and jotted down contact information. I'm looking into this further----an online music program I can complete within twelve months through the VA is what I am needing and looking for.
Griz music update: I am up to measure #224 / 320 of my orchestral score for movement I of my second symphony---more later.
Okay, one more culinary question: is French toast Belgian in origin, too?
Dan, I really do want an ITMFA! pin. How much are they? I'd proudly keep it pinned on my knitted pink Pussyhat---no better place for it! Do you have a mailing address or (800) phone number as to how I can acquire a pin (I'd rather not give my debit card info over the internet)? Please email me--I want a pin!
Griz @ 90 - Wikipedia describes it as "a variation from the traditional spanish dessert called Torrija", and it seems to have variations in many European countries, though Belgium isn't mentioned.

NAW - I just wondered if people would be okay with this, if people were aware of behavior like mine when they post, and if I should ask these girls for their permission to wank to their selfies.
Some people like exhibitionism, some people don't. You like voyeurism. Many people are aware of these kinks. You can like whatever you want, but you have a responsibility to be reasonably considerate to others as well. You need permission from others to obtain their time or extra effort toward your goals. Asking permission for anything else is annoying because it doesn't make sense. Try your best not to make others uncomfortable and we will speak up if you're messing up too bad. In that vein. Don't approach a woman by announcing that you are a voyeur who is attracted to her. It can be difficult to bring up your sexual preferences that don't involve pleasing your woman, because then she might reject you, so try to give her a reason to like you first. If you want a closer relationship with a consenting woman or even an enthusiastic exhibitionist, maybe OK Cupid would work better.

POSW - But everyone, please stop telling your friends not to kink shame so that my boyfriend and I can get back to the business of pissing on each other and feeling disgusting about it and horny because of it.


A recent thread discussed breast enlargement. I was surprised that the common male parallel involving changing sexual sensation... circumcision.. wasn't mentioned at all. I believe that a man weighing in on a woman's decision to enlarge her breasts may be about the same as a woman weighing in on the decision to circumcise a baby or a partner's decision to try an adult circumcision. (Although I think that as circumcision grows less common, parents and partners should be very vigilant about foreskin cleanliness. That was the original reason it became common I believe.. Women weren't just visually on board, but sick of yeast infections)
As a mother of sons Philo, I was very onboard in deciding No on the question of circumcision.
Do women ask uncut men to get circumcised? Do uncut men fret about how their partners view their willies? Is something that is usually done to a person, without his consent, in infancy really similar to something an adult woman decides for herself? At any rate, it's not as if a woman can know ahead of time whether a man is circumcised and set that as a condition for dating him. So I'm not surprised no one brought that up as an analogy. Someone did mention hair plugs, which I thought was more apt.
And a big ixnay to messaging women on OKCupid and asking if you can wank to their photos. EWWWW.
Bi @ 95 - I have heard a few women make derogatory comments about the foreskin itself ("it looks like a rag", among others), and a few others state that they really wouldn't like an uncircumcised penis on their man (my generation, used to all guys being circumcised). But as circumcision became less and less popular and the general population more and more ehtnically and culturally mixed, this attitude kind of went out the window. The aforementioned women merely liked what they were used to, I guess, and the next generation was lucky enough to have encountered more variety, so they didn't complain.

As for the men: whether circumcised or not, unless theirs is extremely small (and even then), most men are childishly proud of their dick and expect their partners to share that feeling. By that I mean that they neither ask nor listen to what others think of it, and if they've received negative comments, they blame those on that specific partner being crazy. (Huge generalization, I know, but I have a pretty large sample size).
Adult men get circumcised. From the little I've read, some like it, most eventually wish they hadn't had it done. I think men worry whether they are attractive, just not out loud as much as women do. I don't think that men typically vocalize their insecurities as much as women seem to. I've been asked if my preference was cut or uncut and felt like I was on very shaky ground. I'm embarrassed that I answered that question once sorta.

Getting hair plugs doesn't change sexual sensation.

Ric - As for the men: whether circumcised or not, unless theirs is extremely small (and even then), most men are childishly proud of their dick and expect their partners to share that feeling
I think most women like our boobs too, perhaps in a childishly proud way. I expect men to like my body enough to get used to the 'flaws' if they choose to date me. I feel bad for the women who got boob jobs and any men who may have gotten cut in order to work in older, very large boob and uncut cock dominated porn.
@92 Ricardo: Thank you--that's interesting. So what is the difference between French toast and Torrija? Are both dipped in egg batter?

@96 BiDanFan: I second your EWWWW and agree wholeheartedly--messaging about wanking off to women's photos is beyond sick. That's cyberstalking at its creepiest.

On the subject of circumcision I am neither male nor a parent, but feel sorry regardless for men who have been circumcised in their infancy. Whether they're okay with it or not, they didn't have a say in the procedure. I'd hate that.
@93 Philophile: Interesting point in favor of circumcisions, though, if it helps reduce yeast infections.
I guess it mostly boils down to the pros and cons, and what ultimately is most beneficial.
Obviously no one answer works for everybody.
Hunter--did I beat you to the Savage Love Week in Review again after hitting another hunsky?
@50 LavaGirl: I'm sorry I missed your kind post! It's good that I come back late in the week to re-read in case I missed some comments.
I am looking into a one year program through the VA (a post-baccalaureate for a Masters of Music could take up to 3 years, though, and the VA won't approve that as I maxed out my Montgomery G. I. Chapter 30 for my BA. I have only one year for VA funding left) after earning my BA of Music. Capricornius (@55) was kind enough to post some helpful links into what programs are available through the UW, and if they can be completed online. Music therapy sounds like it would work for me if I'm not the best candidate for teaching.
I called the UW Music Department Advising office today and left a message, but didn't hear back. Onto the next step: emailing their office and see what is available to forward to my DVOP and go from there.
@92 Ricardo, re: my comment @99: Notice I didn't mention testicles? hee hee hee
Capricornius (re: @55): I have emailed the UW Music Director about possible online course work available within a twelve month timeframe through the VA. And so the seed is planted.
Thanks again!

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