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That's different from saying your kink is not OK, or is acceptable in fantasy only. Along those lines I like this essay (bedsores!):
http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2010/08/y…
As Dan says, there will always be kink shamers. If you figure that most of the kink-shamer-shaming is done by people who are either themselves fans of your kink (some of whom get off on it being disgusting) or else squicked by it, then that reflects plenty of disgust to inspire you and your partner.
Dan, how much are your ITMFA pins? I will proudly attach it to my knitted pink Pussyhat.
I responded to BiDanFan's and your comments from last week's Savage Love.
Fear not, my responses weren't venomously aimed at either of you.
ITMFA!!
I will wear my pink hat everywhere.
Currently, I am volunteering at the local Domestic Violence Sexual Assault Services center.
The Women's March is global, and we must keep on moving. The future of this planet depends on it.
People laugh at me for sitting outside in my sweet little VW Beetle, but my
car is filled with loving memories of both my parents and so many good times.
Every time I sit outside meditating, I feel a warm automotive hug while in the driver's
seat. Music, meditation, and little road ventures out bring us peace.
I have been sleeping with ear plugs as well as my fan cranked up to block unwanted noise---local trains are just horrendous, and now some goofy gal upstairs in our building has the most insanely high pitched yippy hyena giggle, like she's on speed. And people in our building think I'M weird. It's good I'm seeing a therapist.
Luckily, the weather has warmed back to PNW January normal---highs in the 40s, lows in the 30s overnight. I'm lucky to have my VW and a car cover for the cold weather. My VW guru of 8 years has retired and closed his shop, but recommended a reputedly good mechanic for future maintenance. Hopefully my new VW guy is as good and won't charge an arm and a leg.
Washington State has a typically corrupt GOP asshole masquerading as a state senator, while moonlighting as Trump's campaign manager. Now, gloating that he's got Trumpzilla's ear he's threatened to gut the EPA and reverse protections on sacred tribal lands, our waterways (i.e: Puget Sound, Salish Sea, the San Juan Island Archipelago, et al). He says he won't quit his senate seat, can't wait to double dip for his free frequent flyer miles to and from D.C. What an asshole.
Anyway, nocutename--thanks a million again. Positrons as my mom would say, hugs, and VW beeps your way. XO, Griz
Speaking of which, I've been thinking about that "Don't forget: white women voted for Trump" placard from the march which has been shared everywhere. My initial reaction was that it was, A, misplaced, and B, mean-spirited, as clearly (no matter what Mike Pence thinks) none of the white women on the anti-Trump marches are the ones who voted for Trump. So the only things the sign accomplished were to spoil a rare and badly needed sense of positivity and shame people for their race.
But thinking further about it, while "you're part of the problem" may have been unfair, "you need to be part of the solution" is a valid point to make. (I much preferred the "So we'll see you nice white ladies at the next Black Lives Matter march, right?" placard which made the same point without being a dick about it.) My next question is, how can I avoid being one of "those" white feminists, and how can I be a better ally to women of colour? Suggestions welcome.
Surfrat @10: Those of us who read the SLLOTD are snoring at the re-run of L1. L2 is interesting, though -- I can definitely relate to the concept of kinks being fun, in part, because they are transgressive. If most men weren't frightened of the idea of being pegged, I doubt I would enjoy it as much as I do!
Hugs Grizelda. I make myself check my fb feed to face what horror these vermin have got their stooge boy to sign off on.
And the resistance grows.
I get her complain, but honestly, it makes her sound annoying and petty? childish?. I don't know. and paradoxically enough, she seems to be shaming people who shame kink-shamers. it's like the snake finally bit its own tail.
RE: ITMFA
stating the obvious, It probably would require a cold day in Hell before DT would be impeached since (1) it requires both the Senate and the HoR to impeach a POTUS and (2) both carry significant GOP majorities. Additionally, since it is likely that DT swore adulation and promised to support and further all the politically, economically, and socially regressive legislation and the platform of the GOP if the GOP in turn supported him, writing, calling, and emailing your Congresspersons, POTUS, and the GOP leadership about these regressive issues and legislation is perhaps the way to go.
Get out and vote in your local and state elections, including those for towns' council, mayor, school boards, and county because it is likely these same candidates will eventually run for higher and higher positions up the political food chain.
The wearing of buttons, et al., with ITMFA emblazoned on them is at best symbolic and the money raised purchases of these items will go to important causes. However, you can create and sign petitions on the White House petitions website at: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov
To me, a particularly underwhelmingly signed but important petition I would like signed by all is "Demand Trump administration add LGBT rights, climate change, and civil rights back to list of issues on wh.gov site | We the People: Your Voice in Our Government"(https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petitio…)
Either a cold day in hell or after DT signs all the racist, sexist, politically, socially, and economically regressive legislation passed by the GOP Congress and THEN Congress impeaches him and gets the POTUS they really want in stuck-in-a-1950s-time-capsule Mike Pence.
Random song lines, placed in your post.
A challenge for the battle weary.
Just remember to catch a falling star and put it in your pocket. ( save it for a rainy day).
I suspect the latest exposure that piss play is getting nowadays is also likely to increase curiosity, as well as encourage some to come out.
Frankly, if it was found out that prez likes modeling lingerie, possibly even being pegged by BDF or others; it wouldn’t have slowed me much if any at all.
BDF @ 11
At least in the march I was in a third of us where men, vast majority looked straight and often walked next to a woman, and most of the BLM signs were held by ordinary white folks.
Media picks sensations, one of the reasons dt got so much free coverage.
The initial investigation and impeachment of Bill Clinton cost $39.5M before the Lewinsky investigation was added. An estimated $80M was spent when it was all said and done. It's interesting that the GOP is the alleged fiscally Conservative party yet they are willing to throw seemingly endless amounts of taxpayer money at pet programs (e.g., military vehicles, ships, subs, aircraft that the military leadership doesn't want) and investigating their "enemies" (e.g., HRC and WJC). The "P" in GOP could stand for "pork" for many in Congress.
I have no idea how much in today's dollars a presidential impeachment would cost but I wonder how the Tea Partiers and/or the fiscally "ultraconservatives" in Congress would rationalize spending what would likely be more than the GNP of a small country to impeach DT.
Now you put the thought of Twitler being pegged by BDF in my brain, and it just won't leave! If I do something really perverted tonight, it'll all be your fault (just joking - of course it won't, it'll all be mine).
Instead, I'm saying that plenty of kink-shamer-shamers still feel disgust for whatever the kink is. There's no contradiction between (a) finding something disgusting and (b) shaming those who kink-shame it.
So I was urging POSW to look on the bright side: most of the people shaming the kink-shamers probably still find your play disgusting. They just don't want you or others harassed for it.
Griz @7 -- hugs if you still want them. And thank you for your work at the domestic violence center.
Nocutename @8, dark days indeed.
Trump's "Golden Shower shows" featured:
a) Him peeing on sex workers?
b) Him being peed on by sex workers?
c) Two sex workers peeing on each other?
#REASONS
As I’m sure you know no one hires a group of prostitutes to just pee on a bed. This was the after party, post ejaculation/s food and booze.
And the Russians have it all.
Possibly one of two reasons: 1) human urine apparently contains significant amounts of melatonin, and, 2) it is/was a practice in classical yoga, called Amaroli, which likely relates to the first reason; yogis would drink it as a meditation aid.
Did I read somewhere that Pence calls his wife Mother? These people are strange as well as twisted mean fucks.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_b…
@38: My kink? Oh... you probably haven't heard of it.
@12 LavaGirl: Hugs, positrons, and VW beeps right back.
@29 EricaP: I have contacted the local Domestic Violence / Sexual Assault Services center to see about volunteering--maybe the best way to help is in office support. Big hugs right back. XO
They'll never be able to get it here. This is the stuff that makes the over priced "beer" in our sports venues.
Upon looking into a VA program for Voc Rehab Education, I am a U.S. Navy Gulf War veteran (1989-1993) with a BA / Music (WWU) and an AS / Visual Communications (Graphic Arts) from the Art Institute of Seattle. I have since exhausted my Montgomery G. I. Bill Chapter 30 benefits, but through the VA Voc Rehab program's Montgomery G. I. Bill Chapter 31, I have one year's funding left for additional training--hopefully associated with music and education. This cannot be a master's in music; it has to be completed within one year, and I allegedly have a twelve year umbrella with which to further pursue additional music teaching certification. I am currently on 50% VA disability and seeing a VW therapist for military related PTSD. Does anyone know of one year programs by certified schools (VA approved) offering certification for music therapy and /or instruction? My local community college won't accept me, even through their VA office because I already have a BA degree in my field, and the nearby Voc-Tech College focuses on engineering, welding, and nursing--none of which is my forte nor remotely of interest. Just working at a public school district--preferably locally--20 hours a week as a band geek and /or music librarian would thrill me no end. My VA VRE rep informs me that there IS a demand for this, and we have the documentation to prove it. Now, how and where to find that VA-approved one year certification training program?
Your thoughts and ideas are greatly appreciated.
Meanwhile, Griz is back tonight on her second symphony score, first movement.
Now back to Dan the Man and ITMFA!
Now to answer your question: I don't know about English, but in Spanish, huevos (eggs) means testicles, and this leads to all sorts of absolutely hilarious double entendres (please note the sarcasm).
Grizelda, great idea. Music Therapy. They are finding music is helping dementia patients, they respond and remember the words to songs.
How about an external course? One that requires a few live ins thru the year. There must be some amazing courses being offered in the US. Always look on the bright side of life. Dope helps.
Great art work again Joe.
I wouldn't be surprised. The GOP absolutely hates the military, vets, and their well-being.
Testicles are referred to as “eggs” because of their somewhat resembling shape, regardless of what they produce.
The term goes beyond Spanish and is common in many geographies such as the Middle East, other Mediterranean countries, and many more.
https://music.washington.edu/music-educa…
Once you have your teacher certification, you would qualify to apply for a 13-month certificate program to become a K-12 media librarian (well, more likely an assistant librarian, especially if you'd prefer a part-time schedule):
https://www.pce.uw.edu/certificates/scho…
I know the teacher certification program is slightly longer than the one year the Montgomery Bill will pay for, but there's no shame in also using (reasonable) civilian loans to help you achieve your career goals, and financial aid is almost always available for "non-traditional" (read: older than early 20s) students in the public university system. The financial aid folks are marvelous, and they are there to work with you and the VA to put together a financial package that you can swing. Good luck, from a fellow veteran!
Re "Eggs"
I seem recall reading somewhere years ago that in some cultures the testicles are indeed referred to as eggs. In the instance I recall the usage was slang.
Also on this topic, when I "discovered" my body around age 12/13 I recall feeling them and imagining their shape as egg-like. Not chicken-sized but maybe more robins=egg size???
Not a native speaker by any means, but I can get by. When I was working in South America, I recall that calling someone a "huevón," derived from the word "huevo" which means "egg" or "testicle," was extremely derogatory - connoting that he was nothing more than a big fat testicle, I guess. I don't think there is a female equivalent term in Spanish, or at least I never heard it.
Pendejo- pubic hair, meaning dumb ass, useless, kiddo, etc. Apparently common and benign in Argentina, yet semi-deadly in Mexico and central America.
And despite decades of shaving and waxing there’s also Pendeja.
Any Hungarian speakers among us?
And sorry, my keyboard is set to French so I can't really do most Spanish orthographic accents.
Capricornius @ 60 - Huevón is no longer as offensive (at least in Mexico), it basically means a lazy bum by now. A lot of huevo-related words have followed suit. A few examples:
Echar la hueva = not doing anything (as when a friend calls and asks "Que estas haciendo? -Echando hueva.")
Me da hueva = it bores me, it annoys me, etc.
But, at the risk of falling into folk etymology, I think it derives that meaning from the proper sense of egg, since eggs just sit there doing nothing in a warm environment until they hatch...
CMD @ 61 - "Semi-deadly" may be a tad strong. But rather offensive, yes.
Lava @ 62 - No, not the love verse that you so obviously deserve. I had something to get off my chest, I guess. But here goes - more of a friendship verse, really.
Mi linda guerita que esta tan lejos,
ojala pudiera ir alla a mirarte en los ojos
y echarme una rica cervecita contigo,
fumando un churro y chismeando
sobre esos pobres gringos espantados
por Trump y las tormentas de invierno.
.
You should also check out the daily “One and Done?“
Both you and Belgian beers get an honorary mention.
My beautiful blonde one, so far away,
I wish I could be there to look in your eyes
And share a great beer together,
Smoking a joint and gossiping
About those poor Americans frightened
By Trump, and the storms of winter.
@52 & @53: undead ayn rand: I shall continue to resist the Evil Empire. It's truly all we, the people for a democracy CAN do. One of many comforts: Senator Patty Murray, although her fifth term is already a nightmare, has officially declared the Trumpzilla Cabinet "a disgusting pack of swamp creatures". I couldn't agree more. The revolution has begun, and for the GOP may it be painfully bloody. The Repigs and their dupes deserve what they get.
@55 Capricornius: Thank you and bless you!! I have taken down the UW Music Dept information and will forward this to my VA DVOC. It says that the program is 13 months with student teaching, though---and I'm only allotted 12 months through the VA. But I have a 12-year time frame to work with to get this one-year certification. I'm definitely looking into this; I can take everything online because I live 85 miles from Seattle and the UW.
@54 CMDwannabe: That's right---testicles do have an oval, somewhat egg-like shape, don't they?. It just sounded funny.
@56 sb53: I love it----that would make them rockin' robins!
@57 Ricardo: I love it when te hablas en Espanol! @63: We need to build a wall around Trumpzilla, and include bars on the doors and windows so it can never again escape.
@61 CMDwannabe: Thank you for further terminology enlightenment.
Holy shit! I'm closer to the big number again?
To be eaten with mayonnaise, of course.
Ricardo, we have a lot to be frightened of, indeed--and it has only been a week since Trumpzilla has begun stinking up the Oval Outhouse.
Cap @ 67 - Depending on the context, guera/guerita can translate as blonde or, more generally, just white. Apart from that detail, though, thumbs up for the translation! (This from a professional translator.)
I don't know Lava's hair colour, but even if she has dark hair, being Australian of European descent (I believe), she'd still be considered a guera. I've even heard relatively dark-skinned Mexicans being called guero simply because all their friends were darker, and each group needs its guero, as well as its flaco (skinny guy), its gordo (fat guy), its prieto (really dark-skinned guy), its puto (faggot), etc.
Just so you know if you don't already: in romance languages, the masculine is also the neutral form, so I'm not excluding women here. Indeed, until not too long ago, there used to be a store in Mexico City's center district called Ropa para Gorditas, i.e. Clothes for Chubby Women. No one is spared in this delightfully un-PC culture... but no one really minds.
Griz @ 69 - "We need to build a wall around Trumpzilla, and include bars on the doors and windows so it can never again escape"
Perhaps in the cold steppes of Siberia? I think it would like it there.
(And congratulations for hitting the magic number again.)
Let's try to see the bright side: Trump will go down in history as the first person to make the entire population of the planet truly unite behind one cause: his impeachment.
As for my "poem", you probably spent more time translating it than I did writing it. But that's usually the case with translation: we worry about things like meter, whereas the author "just wrote it". It's nice to be on the other side for once, I must admit.
Sorry, no punch line. I brought it up since we discussed interesting expressions in different languages and they got some truly innovative ones in Hungary.
Ricardo @ 71
Thanks for the clarification. That said, I am still a conscientious objector when it comes to both mayonnaise and ketchup on my fries. Beer is obviously fine.
I love to collect obscenity and sex terms from many different languages and cultures, and I'm in the mood to learn something new today!
In Québec they put thick brown gravy and cheese curds on their fries, and call it "poutine." I call it "heart attack in a bowl." But if you're a lumberjack in the great north woods, it's what you need to keep warm and keep working.
I doubt any of the contestants have ever chopped wood for a living, so your description of "heart attack in a bowl" is getting more and more relevant each day. But poutine has at least one advantage: once you've seen what it looks like, it's hard to take Vlad seriously as a person when that mental image keeps popping up. (He is of course to be taken very seriously as a dangerous dictator.)
Beer is only there to help with digestion, breaking the starch, saturated fat and sodium into organic tofu-grade extremely healthy and cancer risk reducing protein.
I admit I made this up.
Capri @ 82
Poutine can be also found in Vancouver, BC and I consider it to be another misuse of potatoes.
Hungarian- Some childhood friends’ parents were born there and they always had interesting expressions. The very mild ones were something like “kutya gummi”, rubber dog, which meant something like, “no way you’re going to get it.”
“So after went to the store and got you the vanilla ice cream you wanted you‘re asking me now for a GGG one? Nah, kutya gumi is what you’re getting!”
Another one was about being in the way, or just standing around doing nothing. I don’t remember the original Hungarian expression, but the translation is “like a fart in the underwear,” which I sometimes use in the work place much to everyone’s delight.
When it comes to more poignant expressions, my favorite is “Lo’fasz a seggedbe “ (lofas ashe’gedbe’) which means “horse’s dick in your ass.”
(Very sadly and very cruel this apparently was a real life experience offered in some farm not too far from here few years ago until someone actually died.)
For more expressions, as well as a browser warning that “this site may not be safe” you can go to
http://www.youswear.com/index.asp?langua…
Rest assured, there are other sites available.
And I was just about to go get me some fries and a beer...
I actually quite enjoy a poutine once every five years or so. The trick is to try a different variety every time (there are dozens, at least in the decent fries shops in Montréal like Frites Alors!).
I am so proud to have participated in the Bellingham, Washington Women's March on 01/21/17, and with a knitted pink hat to boot, amazing turnout (10-to 12,000 participants showing for what had been initially forecast 500-to 1,000!), extra WTA bus shuttles downtown, excellent event coordination, peaceful protesting, BPD escorting us and no reports of violence of civil disruption, and our own equally proud mayor's blessings.
I am looking into what I can do more to help Planned Parenthood and Domestic Violence / Sexual Assault Services (DVSAS).
I'll bet you could make yourself at home anywhere in the world, as my brother can (he's multilingual, too).
I had a feeling that french fries weren't really French, despite "les pommes d'terre frites".
But dipped in beer? My weakness was tartar sauce.
Oh, the good old days before I had to watch my carbs........*sigh*
Griz music update: I am up to measure #224 / 320 of my orchestral score for movement I of my second symphony---more later.
Some people like exhibitionism, some people don't. You like voyeurism. Many people are aware of these kinks. You can like whatever you want, but you have a responsibility to be reasonably considerate to others as well. You need permission from others to obtain their time or extra effort toward your goals. Asking permission for anything else is annoying because it doesn't make sense. Try your best not to make others uncomfortable and we will speak up if you're messing up too bad. In that vein. Don't approach a woman by announcing that you are a voyeur who is attracted to her. It can be difficult to bring up your sexual preferences that don't involve pleasing your woman, because then she might reject you, so try to give her a reason to like you first. If you want a closer relationship with a consenting woman or even an enthusiastic exhibitionist, maybe OK Cupid would work better.
POSW - But everyone, please stop telling your friends not to kink shame so that my boyfriend and I can get back to the business of pissing on each other and feeling disgusting about it and horny because of it.
No.
ITMFA!
A recent thread discussed breast enlargement. I was surprised that the common male parallel involving changing sexual sensation... circumcision.. wasn't mentioned at all. I believe that a man weighing in on a woman's decision to enlarge her breasts may be about the same as a woman weighing in on the decision to circumcise a baby or a partner's decision to try an adult circumcision. (Although I think that as circumcision grows less common, parents and partners should be very vigilant about foreskin cleanliness. That was the original reason it became common I believe.. Women weren't just visually on board, but sick of yeast infections)
As for the men: whether circumcised or not, unless theirs is extremely small (and even then), most men are childishly proud of their dick and expect their partners to share that feeling. By that I mean that they neither ask nor listen to what others think of it, and if they've received negative comments, they blame those on that specific partner being crazy. (Huge generalization, I know, but I have a pretty large sample size).
Getting hair plugs doesn't change sexual sensation.
Ric - As for the men: whether circumcised or not, unless theirs is extremely small (and even then), most men are childishly proud of their dick and expect their partners to share that feeling
I think most women like our boobs too, perhaps in a childishly proud way. I expect men to like my body enough to get used to the 'flaws' if they choose to date me. I feel bad for the women who got boob jobs and any men who may have gotten cut in order to work in older, very large boob and uncut cock dominated porn.
@96 BiDanFan: I second your EWWWW and agree wholeheartedly--messaging about wanking off to women's photos is beyond sick. That's cyberstalking at its creepiest.
On the subject of circumcision I am neither male nor a parent, but feel sorry regardless for men who have been circumcised in their infancy. Whether they're okay with it or not, they didn't have a say in the procedure. I'd hate that.
I guess it mostly boils down to the pros and cons, and what ultimately is most beneficial.
Obviously no one answer works for everybody.
I am looking into a one year program through the VA (a post-baccalaureate for a Masters of Music could take up to 3 years, though, and the VA won't approve that as I maxed out my Montgomery G. I. Chapter 30 for my BA. I have only one year for VA funding left) after earning my BA of Music. Capricornius (@55) was kind enough to post some helpful links into what programs are available through the UW, and if they can be completed online. Music therapy sounds like it would work for me if I'm not the best candidate for teaching.
I called the UW Music Department Advising office today and left a message, but didn't hear back. Onto the next step: emailing their office and see what is available to forward to my DVOP and go from there.
Thanks again!