Comments

1
Yes, the partner who is normally awake when the other partner wants to fuck gets to rearrange their waking activities to accommodate the partner who is normally asleep (because it's 3 fucking AM!) when the first partner wants to fuck.

Duh.
2
Is it really egomaniacal to expect adults to be interested in the next generation? I'm not suggesting that everyone has to babysit but shouldn't we all be invested in the people who will be replacing our hips and changing our diapers and managing our pensions? Kids are people who belong to their communities, not just to their parents. You should get to know some and consider their development and wellbeing to be partially your responsibility. That's not my parental egomania, that's enlightened self-interest.
3
Never expected to see cute cat pictures on Savage Love, but that is a pretty sweet tail cuddle.
4
When did "mentally ill" become a synonym for "people who are sort of jerks or have unreasonable expectations and opinions"? Do people think using "mentally ill" in this sense is the more politically correct version of using "crazy" or something? Because that's...totally missing the point.
5
@2 eh, enlightened self-interest sure, but I don't think it's their /responsibility/ to do anything with children, any more than with anyone else they share a society with. That's up to the parents. Just do me the favor of not imagining anyone cares what randoms think about other people having children. (I do love that a childless person thinks having children is ego-building. Ahaha no.)

@4 yeah that was odd. "That human behavior doesn't equal mental illness! This other one I don't like, that's mental illness."
6
People who are child-free generally end up grandchild-free too. Funny how that works. (If they were the sort who didn't like children, they wouldn't have had their own a generation ago. If they were enthusiastic about those, it does seem odd that they would be aloof towards ones they can give back in a few hours.)
7
If parents and grandparents were indifferent to offspring, we wouldn't have gotten very far as a species. That letter sounds so desperately defensive to me.
Also @6 - yes, this are folks who are not actually child-free.

8
Also - does Quite Concerned consider him/herself a feminist? Because what I read is view of women as weak and powerless.
9
@7 * these are folks!
10
@7 agreed. Defensive in the extreme. Not everythig childfree is about you!
11
@6 Assuming they were enthusiastic about their own children, then yes, it stands to reason that they would also be enthusiastic about grandchildren... but I think that many, many people who never wanted kids have kids for many reasons. Some of those people do still enjoy the grandkids, but I've also seen a few instances where they've raised the kids they had and now they're done with kids period.
12
That cat needs a cigarette to make the scene complete.
13
I don't give a shit about other people's kids, aside from my niece and nephew. My mom is actually mentally ill and could care less that I'm having a baby. I would like it if she cared about the biggest life change I will undergo until death, but she doesn't. I guess I'm just a selfish breeder like that.

Also, "child-free" people don't tend to have grandchildren ... so, yeah.
14
@11 - This. We're talking different generations here, who may not have really had a choice. It was expected, especially in good Catholic households, to pop out as many kids as possible. That doesn't mean they were enthusiastic about it, or actually loved their kids or anything. My grandmother on my mom's side was bipolar, and regularly beat her 6 kids. My mom was struck in the head and still deals with epilepsy to this day as a result of it. Her dad would take every business trip he could to get away from them all. So yeah. Just because they had 'em didn't mean they necessarily wanted 'em. And as Castalia mentioned - they raised their own children, and so now they're done with kids.
15
Generally I don't find children very interesting. They are tedious most of the time and quite boring- a lot of hard work to get them to turn into decent people and take an interest in anything. I'd take a gunshot in the gut and young death before motherhood.

On the other hand, I love people in my life, friends and family, and some of those people have children. I take an interest in the children because they are important in the lives of people I love, because if you aren't a selfish person, you know relationships are a two way street. It has happened then that people I love need help or (in one case) even died young, and who is going to help with those children? When you spend time around a child, you tend to start to care about them. I have helped raise some kids; I have taken an interest in even more. My life is full of them, oddly considering that I find them quite tedious. When I sit on the floor and play with a small child or take an older child out to do something that they whine about, I have to remind myself that it's not about me and it's character building.

I'm not saying everyone should do this- we all have to make our own choices about how we handle the people around us, and if the parents of not-your-children are not people you are close to in the first place, then why would you bother? What I am saying is that it's the easiest thing in the world to make it all about you. That doesn't make it bad or good- just that it's easy. So when childfree people go on and on about how they have no interest in other people's children or how they feel pressure to have them, etc, well I feel like they can cry me a river.

And yes, I agree that a person does not have to be mentally ill to take zero interest in their grandchildren. Also it's probably normal to want your freedom and to have limited interaction as a grandparent. Some are going to be the sort that want their grandkids around all the time. Others are going to be visit-between-travels sorts. But if the grandparents take no interest in their kids' kids at all, yes that is weird and selfish unless there is some previous relationship problem. To be a good friend or good family member, you take an interest in the lives of people you love and that includes their children.

Finally yes, childfree people do end up with grandkids through marriage. It's a pretty common thing.
16
Good points, Castalia and Sanguisuga. These days, being child-free is an option; in previous generations, societal expectations and lack of birth control and abortion meant lots of people having kids very much against their preferences.
17
I've never heard of a hump-happy cat. Glad the humans are sleeping again. It's cute how their tails are touching. Kinda like how I roll over and go to sleep after a happy humping but somehow our feet still touch. Awwww.
18
being child free was always an option, it just came with different costs than it does today.

tbh? the only reason humans survive past reproductive viability is to care for grandchildren and transmit information between generations. if you won't watch my baby, don't call me when you've fallen and can't get up. if my children are a selfish waste of resources, so is your continued existence.

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