I strongly recommend a douche nozzle with side discharge. Any opening in the tip can cause a tear. I also recommend a bulb syringe so that overfilling is not an issue.

If this is happening frequently PARKED, how about taking an extra credit poop - even if you don't feel like it - before playing with yourself. Also you might try adding some high fiber foods and/or some natural laxatives, which might keep you out of bumper-to-bumper traffic.

And for @fakedansavage, I recall you mentioning that regularly washing out your rectum was frown upon because it can change the characteristics of the lining of the rectum, which could lead to an impediment pooping naturally. If so, you might add that PARKED should limit his use of that and similar products

So should we now call an enema a "car wash"?

Drink more water. Seriously, if you're not completely voiding your bowels each time you take your car out for a spin, you need more water. And probably s'more veggies in your diet.

If your not going in more than an inch, the bulb type does a reliable job. To test this before committing to Mr S, buy a fleet enema at the store. Replace the toxic chemicals in it with lukewarm water and give it a go.

If you are going to really clean out the garage, get the shower shot with the rubber nozzle. Just be careful to limit the flow to nothing stronger than your own pee stream. To much pressure and you will empty out the whole parking lot.

Sigh, eat more yogurt, bro!

Hey Dan maybe a NSFW warning for links? I work for a fairly liberal company, but c'mon.

Huh. Over at the Comics Curmudgeon, "Cleaning out the garage" is code for cunnilingus. (It's a long story, involving more Rex Morgan MD knowledge than most of you have or want)

Reading the headline, I was really excited for a minute, thinking "Oh, wow, CC lingo is making it out into the mainstream!" But no, it was only poop.

Squatty Potty, maybe?

#8, isn't any link provided by Dan assumed to be NSFW? I mean, it's not like he's going to be sharing links to flowers and rainbows.

Sure is something wrong with you LW, you write like a five yr old. It's just shit, nothing to do with cars or garages.

I, for one, appreciated the lengths the lw was willing to go to for that metaphor.

I prefer to refer to this as having a torpedo in the launch tube.

Butt plugs and other condomized sex toys can replace the finger, possibly easing the user’s mind while also avoiding an awkward position as one shoulder is tilting backward, while the other moves back and forth.
Noisy vibrating toys may even qualify as a garage band.

CMD @ 15 - That reminds me of the time I had a hard-to-explain backache as a teenager.

Thank you, @9, for the Rex Morgan, MD, reference. Now I feel especially ancient after my birthday! Argh!

@ 17 Rex Morgan is still going strong - current storyline involves comic memorabilia counterfeiting, and a violent crazy ex-wife! (not Rex's, he's still with June).

Thanks CMD. I probably laughed way harder than I should at "garage band."