Dear Dan,

I never thought this would happen to me. . . .
Ha! I posted @1 before going past the jump and seeing Dan's response.
Also, Ha! "...your fictional wife doesn't give a holographic shit about you..."
Good line, Dan!
Actually, regarding the MIL dropping in at that remote site, it could be plausible if she's in same scientific field.

I mean, why not?
Writer watches WAY too much Pornhub where that story seems to be the only type of porn they push on the breeders.
This doesn't read like an underhanded request to publish someone's erotic lit to me, it reads much more like a "trap"; Dan please endorse this horrible, inexcusable behavior so we can show, once again, how utterly depraved you are.
@ 6 - Indeed, but why do those who try to entrap Dan always find their inspiration in the Xaviera Hollander letters of 70s Penthouse?
Come now Dan, be compassionate. Now that the print porn mags are dying, peeps gotta have some place to write to about their giant cocks and amazing multi-hrs/days' mind blowing non-stop sex with hot housewives/MILFs/Victoria Secret models/teachers/nurses/barely-legal-babes/firefighters/etc. etc.
continued from @7 - The 70s, when they had no Internet through which the MIL could so easily have told the LW about her daughter's behavior instead of going through the trouble (and financial expense) of getting to that remote destination. This story only makes sense in a pre-connected world.
Dan, do you ever write fake letters to other advice columnists? Just for lulz, or to see if they'll endorse creepy social norms?
I mean of course you don't, but what would you write if you did?
Talk about spoiling a good story Dan.

Read Carolyn Hax yesterday or maybe Monday. A woman's fiance is racist and anti-[race] (I'm guessing anti-Black) and it disturbs her and they get into fights, but it's such a little thing, so what should she do about it. Oy.
Fake or not, it reminds me some letters of the past, the kind that the person quoted at the beginning of this weekly thread must be craving.

"like me, she is 36 and extremely attractive".

I like me; who do you like?
Bwaahaahaa...LMAOROTFPIMP! Perhaps he is an extremely attractive physicist who is working on a CERN project? He might even be Sheldon Cooper's UK rival! Perhaps the MIL just hopped on her private jet and flew to Geneva? I am soooo glad that everyone involved was "extremely attractive" because, otherwise, would any of this Fakery make sense? 😂🤣😂
When he said "an extremely remote location", I immediately pictured Antarctica. Then I replace the humans in the story with penguins. It was much improved. Plus, any one of them could get eaten by a seal and the problem just goes away.
Quite apart from anything else, this guy's never even been to England. Small but important detail: English people NEVER talks about 'England', they always talk about 'the UK'. I'm a New Zealander who lives in the UK, and find this little habit of theirs very weird.
@18: he says "in the UK" right at the end, and he does spell "behaviour" the right way. But that doesn't make the whole letter any less fake.
I wish you had paired this letter with the one from the weekly column that went like this:
My significant other and I rarely have sex. A while ago, I had a sexual encounter with her daughter. We continued to have sexual encounters for some time. Now my significant other and I may be getting married. Her daughter and I broke it off, but it started up again after a week. I am attempting to break things off with my significant other's daughter again, but I'm having a hard time. Please advise.

Then you could have titled the column "All in the Family," and Joe Newton's illustration could have made some reference to Edith Bunker and Mike Stivik.

@17: Thank you, Mirea. I, too, initially thought of Antarctica. But the penguin and seal dinner party never occurred to me and it makes the letter much better.
By the time I started reading Dan's reply, I was thinking a) "fake" and b) if LW's mother-in-law showed up at the south pole for some gossip and a shag, she's probably a creature from Star Trek (the original series) or, since the LW claims to be English, from Dr. Who. Nicely filleted, Dan.
@19 he could be Canadian.
The English do have their own ways around sex, and even if this is a fake fantasy, it's plausible. Isn't it? Best sons in law keep their distance from their mothers in law. Respectful, no matter how attractive she may be.
For Mother to hit on son in law, bitch move. Shows great competition and not love for her daughter, however the latter might behave. And to expose her daughter's transgressions, in order to bed the son in law.
Let's hope the daughter/ wife expels both of them from her life.
@2: It robs us of all the fun!

@5: “that story seems to be the only type of porn they push on the breeders.”

I understand that decision though... it allows indie producers to compete in the market with minimal cost (no accessories, script or fancy locations), low risk of physical or emotional harm to self, people are more likely to pay for fetish content, I don’t dig the incest content but why there’s so much of it makes sense.

..I guess without demand they wouldn’t make it but still!

@18: “Small but important detail: English people NEVER talks about 'England', they always talk about 'the UK'.”

Think of it as a colonialist would. They’re very proud of their remaining reach still.

@20: Rape jokes, just hilarious :/
I struggle to see why this letter was published. Generally when you publish a fake letter, you want to give it a real answer so at least your readers are getting something out if. I feel like Dan just whipped this one and splattered it on us for no particular reason.
existential crisis perhaps, Sportlandia. It's coming up to Xmas, and for Christians, lapsed or not, it signals a time of what the fuck, again, and so soon. Time of peace and goodwill to all, one can only dream.
Maybe he posted it to spice things up after the "why are all the letters now so boring" complaint from earlier in the week...

Either way, I dig the penguin version.
A elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest,

“Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and eleven healthy grandchildren, and last night I had an affair with two 18 year old girls. I made love with both of them… twice.”

The priest said, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”

“Never Father… I’m Jewish.”

“So then, why are you telling me?”

“I’m telling everybody!”

"People (who don't exist) will hear you've left your wife (who doesn't exist) for her mother-in-law (who you made up)"

Dan -- leaving his wife for HER mother-in-law would mean the LW was fucking his own mother!
Even if the letter was real, it is kind of boring and self centered..

If there was remotely factual, the letter writer would be either crying non stop for 48 hours, or doing something that a lot of contract workers at remote locations do, drink lots of liquor..
@27 Dan's reply was very funny..
Obviously fake. #2. Pornhub or any other mainstream site does not push a certain narrative on anyone. You choose the narrative you wish to pursue. If you are to weak in the head to do this, you should probably not be perusing porn.
I know the letter is a fake, but if the mother were as drop dead gorgeous as described then he made right choice at least in the short term or longer if he's into older women (what straight male wouldn't fuck Raquel Welch). Forget the slut daughter (there is no future there) and go for it with the mom (whistling Stacy's Mom while he does her)
Confession, what confession? As far as I have been able to discern from letter has been no confrontation or confession FAKE FAKE FAKE
Do the Brits have some sort of Jerry Springer analogue?
Absurdist @37: Jeremy Kyle.
@17/Mirea -- You win the internet today! ;-)
@13: I find it depressingly plausible. Many of those people are married and think their partners’ “opinions” on race and women are ok enough to have kids with still.
Mirea @17: Brilliant!
People don't get rich by setting up and running large scientific experiments in remote locations with their business partners. So I also suspect that this letter is fake.
@42 If they're experimenting with new ways to pull oil out of the north sea, they could very well be highly compensated.
I was imagining the LW was on an off-shore platform. But then the MIL showed up with no stated reason except to get it on with LW, and the LW's business partner's wife popped in to have a say, and the fantasy fell apart. Antartica isn't much better.

Even if the whole situation was true, I don't see what LW's wife has done that's so bad, and certainly not on the level of betrayal of leaving her for her mother, who has shown terrible judgment.
@42-44: The guy is claiming to be “science man who do a science”, he is “working overseas” but not on the seas. He claims to be working solo on some huge private project with a single business partner, and unaffiliated with any academic group or outside corporation. It’s garbage in isolation, it’s garbge with the rest of the Penthouse Forum prompt.

How do you make sure your spouse is cheating on you? you should catch that cheating spouse..! In today’s open society and open minds, open relationship ignorance somehow has crept through the cracks as well, whether implicit or explicit . Now the question is why cheating spouses? i met a hacker who helped save me from the shackles of lies and deceit. I met(cyberhackmaniac50(at)gmail(dot)com. He helped me hack into my husband's cell so i got to know of his extra marital affairs, Although i felt bad doing that but i knew my stand in his life

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