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"... and do your best to stick the nearly inevitable dismount...."
There's one for The Ages....
If that’s the case then maybe a pre-washed worm can be partially inserted or just crawl on the desired area while carefully monitored.
If live can be compromised then look for some sterile wiggly vibrating objects.
Admittedly I am no worms nor wiggly vibrating objects expert.
In my Composition for Film and TV 1 class, I just saw a snippet of Keanu Reeves as Neo in The Matrix (the scene with a scorpion entering Neo's belly---major heebie jeebies)!
If HISBULL insists on jeopardising his work life for this, the number four question for his colleague should be, "How will you be involved?" Will he want to "watch"? It's not unimaginable that what Colleague actually wants is a threesome, but fears a straight guy would say no. Once the action is under way HISBULL may find himself surprised by his colleague joining in; is he OK with this? (I wasn't, but I learned the, ahem, hard way.) Imagine how awkward working together after something like that would be. And then say no.
WORMS: On the slim chance this letter isn't fake, just use toy worms and wiggle them about for her. And I am giving you the early nomination for the 2018 GGG Award for even thinking about this. Ewwww!
4. Have you seen "Preparez Vos Mouchoirs"?
Extremely not safe for life. Much worse than a few worms. The stories this girl tells were "independently verified" by a few people but obviously no one is tossing around real names so take that for what it's worth.
If you wanted to read something where a similar thing happens but its obviously not real, to protect your faith in humanity, you could always read some of the "sex" scenes in The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect. Of course you'll have to dig through a B+ tier sci fi story to get to the freaky zombie worm sex.
Ever seen that one with bees attacking humans and some dude tells a fragile woman she should always keep her car air vent in the recycling mode so that they can’t get in and that conversation with some slight variations appears like three times into the first 45 minutes while their beautiful romance is gradually blooming but guess what fresh air should have been kept where it belongs?
I also agree with everyone else who says this is a bad idea and don't do it.
I only ask cause I'm pretty sure I have read Dan's opinion on hamsters and the answer is "no."
Re the worms, ask Dr Gunter if she's got a hookup on medical maggots - short term they probably won't do much damage and you can send them up there with a slice of ham just in case. Sewn into a gauze pouch I bet they'll wriggle pretty good and you'll be able to get them all out of they aren't in there too long, plus, sterile or close enough to (tampons, etc aren't sterile either, the problem is the anarobic soil bacteria, which make bac vag look like amateurs on the stench front).
As far as soil bacteria, couldn't you do the same thing they do with hookworms? Maybe rinse them, put them on a sterile dirt diet for weeks (washing not sufficient, soil bact likely living in gut), and see if you can get them effectively clean? I'd think a zoo or aquarium might have input on this aspect of things if they're feeding touchy endangered amphibians, say. Might have to try growing their secretions/excretions out on agar or something to see what takes, be fun. Do it right, maybe get published? Can't imagine that this is a well trammeled field.
All that said...
Has anyone asked a mud fetishist?
@24 how else would you go about it? Being able to outsource the work of finding fuckable one offs to someone who knows your tastes and will kill the dude if he wrongs you sounds awful nice.
If what she's looking for is live wriggle, someone surely must know this re: eels, right?
Re worm gut germs, I think the dread problem isn't temporary infection but permanent one. Sometimes you just can't get rid of a strain.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/its-more-l…
Why isn't the gf writing? Is this something too shameful to avow? Is it something she only wants them to explore as a couple? Maybe the supposed bf _is_ making it up, then...?
I'd guess I'm unlike most commentators in thinking they should embrace the kink and progress safely to 'whole worm'....
There's this thing called the Internet. On it, you'll find sites like Tinder, Craigslist, OK Cupid, etc, etc, etc. There are also old-fashioned things called bars and swingers clubs. No need to bring work home with you, as it were.
Dirtygerty @ 27
I also had my not-on-lunch moments. One of them was a rat question some 20 years ago, back in the hey faggot printed only days downstairs at the break room.
Someone claimed to be a gay man and explained how to tie rat’s legs and insert it in a rectum with a toilet paper tube, using the tail as a tampon string.
The hilarious response started with, “I’m sure you’re thrilled to see your letter printed,” then went on quoting some rat experts who explained how strong and tricky rats are, which made this scenario a very laughable one.
HISBULL ~ Work guy is obviously a Henny Youngman fan..."Take my wife...please."
And now for the creme de la creme...
WORMS ~ There is a certain kind of woman who would want to do this (and a certain kind of man who wants to indulge it)...reminds me of Woody Harrelson's landlady in Kingpin..."What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? You really jarred something loose, Tiger!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkKniL90…
I'm more than a little amused by all the posts by the commenteriat suggesting ways to accomplish this feat. We really are a helpful bunch!
1.) Your Henny Youngman reference to HISBULL, and
2.) Woody Harrelson's landlady's line in Kingpin, re: WORMS.
After getting totally grossed out by WORMS' letter, I could use a laugh.
A: Worms.
We need to ask a microbiologist which on average is cleaner, a penis or an earthworm. This would be easy to test, although you'd have to use a medical lab since most microbio labs aren't keen on wild human strains clambering around for safety reasons (would be terrible if you got crotch rot growing in everything). People are pretty gross.
Also, we don't know if the reason why the guy is asking is bc the wife has scoped him in person. People on the internet lie. Especially w/ photos.
Maybe it's important to know the guy in order to feel safe?
Maybe the idea is to get the word out and start taking competing bids?
Have you never dated a coworker?
https://www.wired.com/2014/03/absurd-cre…
(watch the video about halfway down)
WORMS could put one (well-washed) end into his partner, then pull it back out!
And No. I will not facilitate such a venture. Gippsland is down south. Better if this girl goes on a worm hunting holiday.
If the guy is "extremely hot" I'm sure he has better offers available to him than a colleague's wife. Seriously, this is not the only man on the planet. They can easily find another stud to get the job, as it were, done.
Worms happen not to arouse me; but I am on principle opposed to moralizing my distaste for others' sexual practices.
1) Enjoy. Protect your wealth legally (don't sign over the house!) but otherwise enjoy yourself!
2) Don't fuck your coworker's wife. Dan gave great advice about how to proceed fucking someone's wife, but this isn't someone, it's a coworker. Just don't.
3) Don't put worms inside someone's vagina. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
And exactly WHERE is the line between "fetish" and "sick, deeply fucked up person"?
How demented does a person have to be for Dan to actually tell someone they are fucked up and to get help??
How is this even put in the same category as sex? I don't think these behaviors are sexual at all.
Last week, with the shitty diaper dude, now this??
Next week,
"I fuck dead people"??
Where is the line!! C'mon already!
And exactly WHERE is the line between "fetish" and "sick, deeply fucked up person"?
How demented does a person have to be for Dan to actually tell someone they are fucked up and to get help??
How is this even put in the same category as sex? I don't think these behaviors are sexual at all.
Last week, with the shitty diaper dude, now this??
Next week someone will probably ask
"I fuck dead people, but it's cool cause it's a fetish, right?"
Where is the line!! C'mon already!
I mean, come on. RACK? Seriously? It's enough to be "Risk AWARE"? No, it is not. SSC is the way to go. Safe, sane, and consensual.
No room there for maggots or whatever.
And I think your magic number score was a bit cheeky as it resulted from multiple posts. Griz, what say you? Disqualified? :)
In any case, yes we can be disgusted by other people's weirdo sex stuff. Dirty diapers, worms in vagina, yuck. But I don't see what good it would be to focus on mental illness if the person isn't seeking it nor harming anyone. I mean, even if you thought (for sake of argument) that it's a good idea, where would you draw the line? Going to make a list of sex stuff that's normal-weird vs mental health-weird? Going down that path leads us to moralists regulating other people's sex lives, and I think there's a lot of evidence to support the claim that THAT causes more mental illness than indulging in a fetish safely with a consenting adult.
https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/11…
November 28th is quite a few weeks before last! Last week there was a shitty Dom, I wondered if Cami had just read too much into the word "shitty."
One gross-out letter every two months seems par for the SL course.
Nonetheless, I vote a "no" for @67, @68, and @69 no, and award this week's magic number to BiDanFan, @70 by default. At the same time, Griz is humbled that so many commenters are enjoying participation of our friendly little weekly SL numbers game and that its attraction has been influential.
Just Wednesday, I had a ruling situation I'd never seen in a bridge game. The contract was Three No Trumps, and dummy was put down with a void in clubs, the suit led. Declarer immediately recognized that the contract ought to have been Six Diamonds, which would have scored the slam bonus. Her call for a play from dummy to the first trick was, "ruff." (For non-bridge players, declarer was directing dummy to play a trump, only there was no trump suit.) There were actually three possible solutions about equally in keeping with the spirit of the rules, which do not cover such a situation. One could have treated it as a null designation and given declarer a mulligan, designated the suit to declarer's left as the presumptive trump suit and therefore required the play of that suit, or determined which suit declarer was erroneously thinking to be trumps and going with the designation of the card declarer clearly intended but simply didn't name. Happily, it didn't matter which suit dummy played.
As for the bridge bidding process, and admittedly it’s been awhile since I last played, wasn’t there a way to indicate the strong diamond hand earlier?
Offer limited to continental USA.
I'm willing to call it a tie, and concede that this week's lucky number winners are @70 BiDanFan and @71 CMDwannabe. Congrats, BiDanFan and CMD!
@77 CMD: Your house plants must be vibrantly healthy.
I like that baby step suggested by Harriet_by_the_bulrushes @53. Talking dirty about the worms, looking at the worms -- these are safe activities. Then, another day, discuss with clothes on what she might want to try in practice, and the safety concerns.
Nice to see you active, Mr. Vennominon, both here and in bridge.
Best wishes and a belated happy new year to all.
Age, blessedly, is indeed a number.
You got there fairly no, so enjoy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiw…
TwitterEgg did not coin the phrase "safe, sane and consensual." That's been the standard in the BDSM community since, well, Wikipedia says 1983.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe,_sane…
Lava @86: Are you trying to deprive me of my award because I didn't share it with you? No, No hit 69 by getting to 67 and posting repeated replies to themself, so it's not a fair victory in my view. I've only seen Ms 69 herself, Auntie Grizelda, making contrived attempts to hit the number, and that's only if it was a slow week. Lava, I will share my 69 with you too. Consider it a lifetime achievement award. :)
Many people use RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) instead. I've also seen PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink).
And others don't use cute slogans at all, focusing instead on communication, informed risk assessment, mutual enthusiasm and trust within well-established relationships.
I am neutral on the theory that it actually helped Nancy Kerrigan, who had collapsed under pressure as the favourite at Worlds the year before. The whole debacle definitely helped CBS the following year, when they lost the NFL temporarily to a surprise high bid from Fox, and hastily constructed a season of pro skating - Mx Wanna perhaps would have enjoyed the oft-repeated programme "Patricia the Stripper"; I remember mostly the resurrection of Denise Biellmann.
However unfair it may be, I think it hurt Ms Harding in the collective memory to go out without even attempting a triple Axel at the Olympics. All we were left with was her crying over her broken boot lace, and the disruption of routine that negatively impacted Josee Chouinard. It also didn't help that, fours years later, another of the "weak presentation" skaters had a much more satisfying iconic exit from eligible skating. In Nagano as an alternate, battling an Achilles injury which had hobbled her lutz and flip, having scraped her way into the final group but with her old programme going poorly, Surya Bonaly ended her free skate with an illegal move, the backflip. This regained her the public, as it had her unique trademark - being landed on one foot.
Like I said, let's all claim @69 this week--no(@69), you, too.
How are these French women with some nonesense letter. Wtf girls. As if #metoo is some bull about a bit of flirting.
I feel very offended by that action. French chicks, sure, those guys have their own Language of Love.. and maybe like the languages all over, it needs a little spring cleaning.
This moment is not about flirting, it's about developing the sexual intelligence to know when to do it, and to back off if the other does not respond.
Men are coming forward as well, to talk of their experiences. Now it seems famous famous presently employed (maybenot) male fashion photographers are being accused of gross sexual misconduct and assault against other males.
This is nothing to do with flirting between lovers, adult sexual mutuality. Mature adults know how to read others, not jump in where they might not be welcome.
It's about consent French know it all Princesses.
Second, I wish the male complaints were approximately a half-separate conversation. I am quite prepared to defer on questions of F>M complaints to the women and on M>F to the straight men. But my one apprehension in all this is that FM standards are going to be imposed upon MM consent, despite the great amount of time and energy that been devoted by many to staking out the claim that, in mixed-sex interactions, F consent and M consent differ in ways that are more than cosmetic. My terminilogy is outdated, but I have no complaint about a "reasonable woman" standard replacing the "reasonable man" standard. I just don't want a "reasonable woman" standard to apply to any case that doesn't involve a woman.