Maybe some sort of female condom + speculum or spreader to keep the worms from getting squished, allowing them to wiggle around for a bit (I'm assuming feeling them alive and active is key to this new-to-me fetish)? Then let them enjoy a well-deserved retirement in the backyard compost or garden. If you can't figure out a way to keep the worms alive and comfortable, definitely go for imagination and maybe gummy worms. Condoms are still a good idea to keep sugar out of the vagina to minimize risk of infections or yeast overgrowth.
WORMS, perhaps you can satisfy your girlfriendās kink through a hypnosis scene. Work on getting her hypnotized and then implant the necessary ideas into her mind. For instance, suggesting that her vagina is extra sensitive and that she will feel each and every worm writhing inside her body, along with whatever other ideas she needs to make this scene work. Then, you might try using a speculum, as suggested above, and find something that you can insert and brush along the exposed walls of her vagina.
I doubt the worms will provide much sensation if any at all, and suspect the main thrill is KNOWING there are live worms in there.
If thatās the case then maybe a pre-washed worm can be partially inserted or just crawl on the desired area while carefully monitored.
If live can be compromised then look for some sterile wiggly vibrating objects.
Admittedly I am no worms nor wiggly vibrating objects expert.
Worms?! In a woman's vagina?!? Ewwwwww. Just when I'd thought I'd read & heard everything. I'm glad the vagina in question isn't mine to be experimented with. Major yuck.
In my Composition for Film and TV 1 class, I just saw a snippet of Keanu Reeves as Neo in The Matrix (the scene with a scorpion entering Neo's belly---major heebie jeebies)!
I thought rule number one (or two) in business is never fuck anyone associated with your job. First it is unprofessional and more importantly it has the potential for dire consequences for his career. Management probably has a no fraternization policy (and no nepotism policy for similar reasons) that extends to spouses. Unless you are talking about the CEO and his wife, which he isn't. That would be an interesting twist on sleeping your way to the top.
@8 inquiastador: Fair enough. You, Charles, and everyone else can eat what you like, I'll eat what I like. Deal. Heaven help me though if I'm still alive and large, mutant radioactive insects beyond a mad entomologist's wildest dreams are all that's left for food sources anymore in the 21st Century. At least I'd be turning 86 by 2050. Maybe I could switch to a liquid diet by then.
Sorry, Dan, but the number one question HISBULL should ask is "Isn't there someone whom you DON'T work with that you could ask?" This guy may not be able to fire HISBULL if this goes wrong, but they have to work together, and that could be very uncomfortable. Don't shit where you eat, HISBULL.
If HISBULL insists on jeopardising his work life for this, the number four question for his colleague should be, "How will you be involved?" Will he want to "watch"? It's not unimaginable that what Colleague actually wants is a threesome, but fears a straight guy would say no. Once the action is under way HISBULL may find himself surprised by his colleague joining in; is he OK with this? (I wasn't, but I learned the, ahem, hard way.) Imagine how awkward working together after something like that would be. And then say no.
WORMS: On the slim chance this letter isn't fake, just use toy worms and wiggle them about for her. And I am giving you the early nomination for the 2018 GGG Award for even thinking about this. Ewwww!
Thank you, Skeptic. Weather here wasn't so terrible, at least not until after the holidays. Christmas Day was in fact quite mild. Hope you had a good time as well.
While much of what Mr Savage writes can apply to either, it would be useful to know whether the relationship is more Daddy or Granddaddy. There are significant differences.
So the worm thing, shockingly not that horrifying for people who are acquainted with the iffier parts of the internet.Specifically the story of blowfly girl. Blog is here: http://blowflygirl.blogspot.com/?zx=f4ba…
Extremely not safe for life. Much worse than a few worms. The stories this girl tells were "independently verified" by a few people but obviously no one is tossing around real names so take that for what it's worth.
If you wanted to read something where a similar thing happens but its obviously not real, to protect your faith in humanity, you could always read some of the "sex" scenes in The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect. Of course you'll have to dig through a B+ tier sci fi story to get to the freaky zombie worm sex.
Aunt Zelda @ 6
Ever seen that one with bees attacking humans and some dude tells a fragile woman she should always keep her car air vent in the recycling mode so that they canāt get in and that conversation with some slight variations appears like three times into the first 45 minutes while their beautiful romance is gradually blooming but guess what fresh air should have been kept where it belongs?
At 16 I was in NYC on a school trip and came across a guy selling "dirty" books, $1 each, all spread out on a blanket. I bought 2 and that was my first foray into porn. Book one was incest...grandad and granddaughter, bro n sis, parents n teenage kids, one big multi-generational gang bang. Second had to do w kidnapping, forced sex, but the one scene I remember is when the bad guy dumps writhing worms n cockroaches onto and inside the victims vag. Book one was tittilating, book two was horrifying.
Sounds like things are easier for gay males. As a woman I recently started making a serious attempt to using dating apps and I just keep finding creepy assholes.
Mirea @18, don't you think she will just claim that it was advancing LGBTQ rights that started us down the slippery slope to vaginal worms? This in spite of the (likely) fact that worms in the vagina probably are an equal opportunity gross out.
I think HISBULL should be very wary about this, it has the potential to be some kind of setup. I can think of at least two scenarios that have actually happened that this could apply to, and both would land HISBULL in hot water if he doesn't ask the right questions and confirm that everything is kosher first.
I also agree with everyone else who says this is a bad idea and don't do it.
New Year's resolution: I will not read Savage Love on lunch break at work, I will not read Savage Love on lunch break at work, I will not read Savage Love on lunch break at work, I will not read Savage Love on lunch break at work, I will not read Savage Love on lunch break at work.
Dan thats a solid NO on the gummy worms. This is where not having to personally come face to face with vagina mishaps undercuts you from time to time. You're might even be better off w regular worms, the vagina can almost certainly handle dirt better than high fructose corn syrup, boiled hooves and whatever Yellow Dye #6 is. I don't know what it is with men and candy and vaginas but you should not be keeping sugar in there even temporarily. You're feeding things you should not feed. Yeast infection to tell the grandkids about, let's not even discuss bacterial vaginosis ("Oh, you can really tell by the stench, it's overpowering." - my gyno, nethers adjacent, a true professional).
Re the worms, ask Dr Gunter if she's got a hookup on medical maggots - short term they probably won't do much damage and you can send them up there with a slice of ham just in case. Sewn into a gauze pouch I bet they'll wriggle pretty good and you'll be able to get them all out of they aren't in there too long, plus, sterile or close enough to (tampons, etc aren't sterile either, the problem is the anarobic soil bacteria, which make bac vag look like amateurs on the stench front).
As far as soil bacteria, couldn't you do the same thing they do with hookworms? Maybe rinse them, put them on a sterile dirt diet for weeks (washing not sufficient, soil bact likely living in gut), and see if you can get them effectively clean? I'd think a zoo or aquarium might have input on this aspect of things if they're feeding touchy endangered amphibians, say. Might have to try growing their secretions/excretions out on agar or something to see what takes, be fun. Do it right, maybe get published? Can't imagine that this is a well trammeled field.
All that said...
Has anyone asked a mud fetishist?
@24 how else would you go about it? Being able to outsource the work of finding fuckable one offs to someone who knows your tastes and will kill the dude if he wrongs you sounds awful nice.
Note: the reason why maggots can survive in a carcass, say, is that they are breathing out of tubes on their ass, so may not make it internally without speculum. Worms would be able to breathe if things were well aerated (fuck first?) but I don't know about pressure. Does anyone know an entemologist?
Re worm gut germs, I think the dread problem isn't temporary infection but permanent one. Sometimes you just can't get rid of a strain.
I don't know why the worms are so blech. Has the LW's gf stuck a worm up herself on her own? Then she would know whether she liked it and have a sense of whether it caused discomfort. If not, she should maybe try that first; or they could try together, but slowly and gently--because this might just be a fantasy, not something she'd actually like. (It could be someone's out-there fantasy-prank, of course--but maybe not...).
Why isn't the gf writing? Is this something too shameful to avow? Is it something she only wants them to explore as a couple? Maybe the supposed bf _is_ making it up, then...?
I'd guess I'm unlike most commentators in thinking they should embrace the kink and progress safely to 'whole worm'....
There's this thing called the Internet. On it, you'll find sites like Tinder, Craigslist, OK Cupid, etc, etc, etc. There are also old-fashioned things called bars and swingers clubs. No need to bring work home with you, as it were.
I also had my not-on-lunch moments. One of them was a rat question some 20 years ago, back in the hey faggot printed only days downstairs at the break room.
Someone claimed to be a gay man and explained how to tie ratās legs and insert it in a rectum with a toilet paper tube, using the tail as a tampon string.
The hilarious response started with, āIām sure youāre thrilled to see your letter printed,ā then went on quoting some rat experts who explained how strong and tricky rats are, which made this scenario a very laughable one.
DAD ~ You sound like a teenager head-over-heels infatuated with a first fuck. Enjoy it while it lasts, but be a realist. This kid will never be your life partner.
HISBULL ~ Work guy is obviously a Henny Youngman fan..."Take my wife...please."
And now for the creme de la creme...
WORMS ~ There is a certain kind of woman who would want to do this (and a certain kind of man who wants to indulge it)...reminds me of Woody Harrelson's landlady in Kingpin..."What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? You really jarred something loose, Tiger!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkKniL90…
I'm more than a little amused by all the posts by the commenteriat suggesting ways to accomplish this feat. We really are a helpful bunch!
@19 CMDwannabe: Killer bees? No, I haven't seen that one. Re @6: I was thinking more about The Fly and UGH!--The Fly II (1989). Eric Stoltz is definitely Some Kind of Horrible. The director and producer should have been shoved into that big transporter and nuked on high into mush for making such god-awful crap and actually getting paid for it.
@43 DonnyKlicious: Thanks for the needed and appreciated two-fer:
1.) Your Henny Youngman reference to HISBULL, and
2.) Woody Harrelson's landlady's line in Kingpin, re: WORMS.
After getting totally grossed out by WORMS' letter, I could use a laugh.
@11 BiDanFan (re WORMS): Fully agreed. I second the nomination for the 2018 GGG Award to WORMS for even thinking about it---yuck! That is lightyears past above and beyond.
Does this woman really want lost and rotten carcasses of worms up her vagina? Is this at all sexy and what sort of infection might she get. Between worms and glitter, what do these women have for brains.
@47 She wants them to wriggle. I think you'd need more than one. Have to be alive for that.
We need to ask a microbiologist which on average is cleaner, a penis or an earthworm. This would be easy to test, although you'd have to use a medical lab since most microbio labs aren't keen on wild human strains clambering around for safety reasons (would be terrible if you got crotch rot growing in everything). People are pretty gross.
LavaGirl, you're in Australia, right? Can you get hold of any of those 6-foot long worms for the guy? They look like: https://www.wired.com/2014/03/absurd-cre…
(watch the video about halfway down)
WORMS could put one (well-washed) end into his partner, then pull it back out!
Biologist @ 51, its burrow gurgles its so wet. At least it would feel at home.
And No. I will not facilitate such a venture. Gippsland is down south. Better if this girl goes on a worm hunting holiday.
The fetish is probably so powerful that _almost_ doing it, working up to doing it, is likely to be a huge turn-on for this young woman. So they should find out how to sterilize earthworms (it will involve clean soil) and put them in a tank by their bedside. Sex with the worms just by her head (or genitals) could blow her mind! I think this is a fantasy to take baby-steps towards enacting, but how wonderful for the GF to have someone as caring and thoughtful as the LW to explore it with!
No @50: I am pleased to report that I have always followed the "don't shit where you eat" rule. I am currently self-employed, and am strictly following the "don't fuck your clients" rule. As soon as a business contract exists, that's sex off the table. It's not worth it.
If the guy is "extremely hot" I'm sure he has better offers available to him than a colleague's wife. Seriously, this is not the only man on the planet. They can easily find another stud to get the job, as it were, done.
@55. Why, LavaGirl? Why don't you think it's wonderful for a young person to have an understanding partner with whom she can safely and without shame explore what so arouses her?
Worms happen not to arouse me; but I am on principle opposed to moralizing my distaste for others' sexual practices.
A fantastic column with lots of good and specific advice (never know when those "questions to ask" could come in handy!). One nerdy, pedantic quibble: I've always spelled "blech" blecch or bleccch, as per Mad magazine (surely an authority!)
On my days off, I think I want Dan's job. Then I read letters like these and I know for sure that I would NEVER have the patience and open-mindedness that he has though.
1) Enjoy. Protect your wealth legally (don't sign over the house!) but otherwise enjoy yourself!
2) Don't fuck your coworker's wife. Dan gave great advice about how to proceed fucking someone's wife, but this isn't someone, it's a coworker. Just don't.
Is she interested in putting a live lobster tail into herself? Because if she does and then you kill the poor lobster by holding a lighter under its head its death throes will create exquisite pleasure for her.
There is no way that worm bs is real!
And exactly WHERE is the line between "fetish" and "sick, deeply fucked up person"?
How demented does a person have to be for Dan to actually tell someone they are fucked up and to get help??
How is this even put in the same category as sex? I don't think these behaviors are sexual at all.
Last week, with the shitty diaper dude, now this??
Next week,
"I fuck dead people"??
Where is the line!! C'mon already!
There is no way that worm bs is real!
And exactly WHERE is the line between "fetish" and "sick, deeply fucked up person"?
How demented does a person have to be for Dan to actually tell someone they are fucked up and to get help??
How is this even put in the same category as sex? I don't think these behaviors are sexual at all.
Last week, with the shitty diaper dude, now this??
Next week someone will probably ask
"I fuck dead people, but it's cool cause it's a fetish, right?"
Where is the line!! C'mon already!
People in alternative lifestyle communities don't like to condemn others because they are so sick of being condemned themselves. Fair enough, but what this means is that sometimes they're not judgemental *enough* and refuse to call out destructive or straight up sick behavior.
I mean, come on. RACK? Seriously? It's enough to be "Risk AWARE"? No, it is not. SSC is the way to go. Safe, sane, and consensual.
The Griz committee should certainly look into the legality and fairness of it all. Not only multiple one liners, the actual "winner" is a correction for one of their own previous comments.
There was a dirty diaper guy recently. The one that found shitty diapers in his husband's bag?
In any case, yes we can be disgusted by other people's weirdo sex stuff. Dirty diapers, worms in vagina, yuck. But I don't see what good it would be to focus on mental illness if the person isn't seeking it nor harming anyone. I mean, even if you thought (for sake of argument) that it's a good idea, where would you draw the line? Going to make a list of sex stuff that's normal-weird vs mental health-weird? Going down that path leads us to moralists regulating other people's sex lives, and I think there's a lot of evidence to support the claim that THAT causes more mental illness than indulging in a fetish safely with a consenting adult.
EmmaLiz @72: Ah yes, this one: https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/11…
November 28th is quite a few weeks before last! Last week there was a shitty Dom, I wondered if Cami had just read too much into the word "shitty."
One gross-out letter every two months seems par for the SL course.
@70 BiDanFan and @71 CMDwannabe: To be fair, I have also been guilty of previously pulling the multiple post ploy to score the magic number. Cheating, as DonnyKlicious has aptly pointed out in a recent SL. So from the past few weeks on forward I have chosen to automatically opt out if I land on @68. BiDanFan--you had a point, though--what if I see @67 when posting and it's a close call?
Nonetheless, I vote a "no" for @67, @68, and @69 no, and award this week's magic number to BiDanFan, @70 by default. At the same time, Griz is humbled that so many commenters are enjoying participation of our friendly little weekly SL numbers game and that its attraction has been influential.
Ms Grizelda - If 67-69 are considered a single, then Mx Wanna should be designated. There's always a way to make a rulings nightmare over things.
Just Wednesday, I had a ruling situation I'd never seen in a bridge game. The contract was Three No Trumps, and dummy was put down with a void in clubs, the suit led. Declarer immediately recognized that the contract ought to have been Six Diamonds, which would have scored the slam bonus. Her call for a play from dummy to the first trick was, "ruff." (For non-bridge players, declarer was directing dummy to play a trump, only there was no trump suit.) There were actually three possible solutions about equally in keeping with the spirit of the rules, which do not cover such a situation. One could have treated it as a null designation and given declarer a mulligan, designated the suit to declarer's left as the presumptive trump suit and therefore required the play of that suit, or determined which suit declarer was erroneously thinking to be trumps and going with the designation of the card declarer clearly intended but simply didn't name. Happily, it didn't matter which suit dummy played.
Venn- Thanks for the hono(u)r, though as previously stated sixtynining is not really a favorite of mine. I mean Iāll ggg and all that jazz, but would rather devote my entire attention and also get one if and when.
As for the bridge bidding process, and admittedly itās been awhile since I last played, wasnāt there a way to indicate the strong diamond hand earlier?
I DO HAVE WORMS, plenty of them, in the biggest pot in my living room, and I keep forgetting to mention it. I would rather interested folks not play with them at my place, but can send a breathable box with some soil and stuff.
Offer limited to continental USA.
@75 vennominon: Heaven forbid that this simple game ever escalates into a heated nightmare!
I'm willing to call it a tie, and concede that this week's lucky number winners are @70 BiDanFan and @71 CMDwannabe. Congrats, BiDanFan and CMD!
@77 CMD: Your house plants must be vibrantly healthy.
I like that baby step suggested by Harriet_by_the_bulrushes @53. Talking dirty about the worms, looking at the worms -- these are safe activities. Then, another day, discuss with clothes on what she might want to try in practice, and the safety concerns.
Nice to see you active, Mr. Vennominon, both here and in bridge.
Oh, I feel it's also a bit cheeky to challenge a Magic Number Award only to become the default winner of the award! I agree with Venn that if No's three comments are combined into one, CMD would be the winner. But as they're not terribly keen, I propose to share my award among my favourite commenters of the week: Skeptic, Jina, Marrena, Donny and EmmaLiz. May we all receive as many 69s as we wish for!
@66 TwitterEgg. Sane? As if the psychiatric and medical establishments have and have always had exactly the same queer-friendly, kink-positive conception of 'sanity' we'd subscribe now. As if no homosexual or deviant has ever been locked for failing a doctor's definition of sanity.... You should have stuck at 'consensual'.
What? No got to @69 fair and square. Been plenty of times others, ahem, have thrown in one word comments to land on the number.
You got there fairly no, so enjoy.
Harriet @82: When guys like this are able to find consenting victims, alas, "consensual" is not the only box that must be ticked. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiw…
TwitterEgg did not coin the phrase "safe, sane and consensual." That's been the standard in the BDSM community since, well, Wikipedia says 1983. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe,_sane…
Lava @86: Are you trying to deprive me of my award because I didn't share it with you? No, No hit 69 by getting to 67 and posting repeated replies to themself, so it's not a fair victory in my view. I've only seen Ms 69 herself, Auntie Grizelda, making contrived attempts to hit the number, and that's only if it was a slow week. Lava, I will share my 69 with you too. Consider it a lifetime achievement award. :)
I'm not complaining CMD. Just pointing out that an injustice was done. And for very flimsy reasoning, I might add. But you know, claim your unwon prize away.
BiDanFan - many kinksters don't use "SSC" precisely because "sane" is such a problematic term given the history of psychiatry and sexuality.
Many people use RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) instead. I've also seen PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink).
And others don't use cute slogans at all, focusing instead on communication, informed risk assessment, mutual enthusiasm and trust within well-established relationships.
Aw thanks Fan. except. You know you can't share what isn't rightfully yours. No won this week's lucky number and one hopes they find good luck comes their way.
Moving to a less contentious subject, does anyone else have an opinion on Tonya Harding now that that film that is apparently painting her as entirely innocent is coming out?
I am neutral on the theory that it actually helped Nancy Kerrigan, who had collapsed under pressure as the favourite at Worlds the year before. The whole debacle definitely helped CBS the following year, when they lost the NFL temporarily to a surprise high bid from Fox, and hastily constructed a season of pro skating - Mx Wanna perhaps would have enjoyed the oft-repeated programme "Patricia the Stripper"; I remember mostly the resurrection of Denise Biellmann.
However unfair it may be, I think it hurt Ms Harding in the collective memory to go out without even attempting a triple Axel at the Olympics. All we were left with was her crying over her broken boot lace, and the disruption of routine that negatively impacted Josee Chouinard. It also didn't help that, fours years later, another of the "weak presentation" skaters had a much more satisfying iconic exit from eligible skating. In Nagano as an alternate, battling an Achilles injury which had hobbled her lutz and flip, having scraped her way into the final group but with her old programme going poorly, Surya Bonaly ended her free skate with an illegal move, the backflip. This regained her the public, as it had her unique trademark - being landed on one foot.
And all I meant to start up was an innocent little numbers game, playing on "69". *sigh*.
Like I said, let's all claim @69 this week--no(@69), you, too.
No dungeon CMD, it would be the kitchen, you scrubing the floor - very, very, clean. š
How are these French women with some nonesense letter. Wtf girls. As if #metoo is some bull about a bit of flirting.
I feel very offended by that action. French chicks, sure, those guys have their own Language of Love.. and maybe like the languages all over, it needs a little spring cleaning.
This moment is not about flirting, it's about developing the sexual intelligence to know when to do it, and to back off if the other does not respond.
Men are coming forward as well, to talk of their experiences. Now it seems famous famous presently employed (maybenot) male fashion photographers are being accused of gross sexual misconduct and assault against other males.
This is nothing to do with flirting between lovers, adult sexual mutuality. Mature adults know how to read others, not jump in where they might not be welcome.
It's about consent French know it all Princesses.
Mr Hunter - Everyone seems to agree to that part. The film is apparently also taking the line that Ms H had entirely no knowledge of what those evil men were going to do. That some people are responding positively to the class war angle to the point of being willing to Listen and Believe about the assault has not gone down well with Mr Weir. On the line of solidarity between skaters that he finds Ms Harding clearly to have crossed, he doesn't want her regaining any credibility.
Ms Lava - First off, did Australia spike the water at all the Americans' hotels? Three of the four all-American US Open semifinalists on court, and they all lost, along with every other American woman but one and even John Isner (though Australian Matthew Ebden played a really smart match, and Venus' drawing Belinda Bencic fresh off her Hopman Cup win and with the parents Federer in her box was perhaps on a par with the year Steffi Graf lost to Lori McNeil at Wimbledon, or the Halep-Sharapova opener at last year's US Open). I am half tempted to concoct a theory that your anti-Trump sentiments are only the tip of the Australian iceberg, and that it has spilled over into sport and created an aura over the whole venue.
Second, I wish the male complaints were approximately a half-separate conversation. I am quite prepared to defer on questions of F>M complaints to the women and on M>F to the straight men. But my one apprehension in all this is that FM standards are going to be imposed upon MM consent, despite the great amount of time and energy that been devoted by many to staking out the claim that, in mixed-sex interactions, F consent and M consent differ in ways that are more than cosmetic. My terminilogy is outdated, but I have no complaint about a "reasonable woman" standard replacing the "reasonable man" standard. I just don't want a "reasonable woman" standard to apply to any case that doesn't involve a woman.
"... and do your best to stick the nearly inevitable dismount...."
There's one for The Ages....
If thatās the case then maybe a pre-washed worm can be partially inserted or just crawl on the desired area while carefully monitored.
If live can be compromised then look for some sterile wiggly vibrating objects.
Admittedly I am no worms nor wiggly vibrating objects expert.
In my Composition for Film and TV 1 class, I just saw a snippet of Keanu Reeves as Neo in The Matrix (the scene with a scorpion entering Neo's belly---major heebie jeebies)!
If HISBULL insists on jeopardising his work life for this, the number four question for his colleague should be, "How will you be involved?" Will he want to "watch"? It's not unimaginable that what Colleague actually wants is a threesome, but fears a straight guy would say no. Once the action is under way HISBULL may find himself surprised by his colleague joining in; is he OK with this? (I wasn't, but I learned the, ahem, hard way.) Imagine how awkward working together after something like that would be. And then say no.
WORMS: On the slim chance this letter isn't fake, just use toy worms and wiggle them about for her. And I am giving you the early nomination for the 2018 GGG Award for even thinking about this. Ewwww!
4. Have you seen "Preparez Vos Mouchoirs"?
Extremely not safe for life. Much worse than a few worms. The stories this girl tells were "independently verified" by a few people but obviously no one is tossing around real names so take that for what it's worth.
If you wanted to read something where a similar thing happens but its obviously not real, to protect your faith in humanity, you could always read some of the "sex" scenes in The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect. Of course you'll have to dig through a B+ tier sci fi story to get to the freaky zombie worm sex.
Ever seen that one with bees attacking humans and some dude tells a fragile woman she should always keep her car air vent in the recycling mode so that they canāt get in and that conversation with some slight variations appears like three times into the first 45 minutes while their beautiful romance is gradually blooming but guess what fresh air should have been kept where it belongs?
I also agree with everyone else who says this is a bad idea and don't do it.
I only ask cause I'm pretty sure I have read Dan's opinion on hamsters and the answer is "no."
Re the worms, ask Dr Gunter if she's got a hookup on medical maggots - short term they probably won't do much damage and you can send them up there with a slice of ham just in case. Sewn into a gauze pouch I bet they'll wriggle pretty good and you'll be able to get them all out of they aren't in there too long, plus, sterile or close enough to (tampons, etc aren't sterile either, the problem is the anarobic soil bacteria, which make bac vag look like amateurs on the stench front).
As far as soil bacteria, couldn't you do the same thing they do with hookworms? Maybe rinse them, put them on a sterile dirt diet for weeks (washing not sufficient, soil bact likely living in gut), and see if you can get them effectively clean? I'd think a zoo or aquarium might have input on this aspect of things if they're feeding touchy endangered amphibians, say. Might have to try growing their secretions/excretions out on agar or something to see what takes, be fun. Do it right, maybe get published? Can't imagine that this is a well trammeled field.
All that said...
Has anyone asked a mud fetishist?
@24 how else would you go about it? Being able to outsource the work of finding fuckable one offs to someone who knows your tastes and will kill the dude if he wrongs you sounds awful nice.
If what she's looking for is live wriggle, someone surely must know this re: eels, right?
Re worm gut germs, I think the dread problem isn't temporary infection but permanent one. Sometimes you just can't get rid of a strain.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/its-more-l…
Why isn't the gf writing? Is this something too shameful to avow? Is it something she only wants them to explore as a couple? Maybe the supposed bf _is_ making it up, then...?
I'd guess I'm unlike most commentators in thinking they should embrace the kink and progress safely to 'whole worm'....
There's this thing called the Internet. On it, you'll find sites like Tinder, Craigslist, OK Cupid, etc, etc, etc. There are also old-fashioned things called bars and swingers clubs. No need to bring work home with you, as it were.
Dirtygerty @ 27
I also had my not-on-lunch moments. One of them was a rat question some 20 years ago, back in the hey faggot printed only days downstairs at the break room.
Someone claimed to be a gay man and explained how to tie ratās legs and insert it in a rectum with a toilet paper tube, using the tail as a tampon string.
The hilarious response started with, āIām sure youāre thrilled to see your letter printed,ā then went on quoting some rat experts who explained how strong and tricky rats are, which made this scenario a very laughable one.
HISBULL ~ Work guy is obviously a Henny Youngman fan..."Take my wife...please."
And now for the creme de la creme...
WORMS ~ There is a certain kind of woman who would want to do this (and a certain kind of man who wants to indulge it)...reminds me of Woody Harrelson's landlady in Kingpin..."What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? You really jarred something loose, Tiger!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkKniL90…
I'm more than a little amused by all the posts by the commenteriat suggesting ways to accomplish this feat. We really are a helpful bunch!
1.) Your Henny Youngman reference to HISBULL, and
2.) Woody Harrelson's landlady's line in Kingpin, re: WORMS.
After getting totally grossed out by WORMS' letter, I could use a laugh.
A: Worms.
We need to ask a microbiologist which on average is cleaner, a penis or an earthworm. This would be easy to test, although you'd have to use a medical lab since most microbio labs aren't keen on wild human strains clambering around for safety reasons (would be terrible if you got crotch rot growing in everything). People are pretty gross.
Also, we don't know if the reason why the guy is asking is bc the wife has scoped him in person. People on the internet lie. Especially w/ photos.
Maybe it's important to know the guy in order to feel safe?
Maybe the idea is to get the word out and start taking competing bids?
Have you never dated a coworker?
https://www.wired.com/2014/03/absurd-cre…
(watch the video about halfway down)
WORMS could put one (well-washed) end into his partner, then pull it back out!
And No. I will not facilitate such a venture. Gippsland is down south. Better if this girl goes on a worm hunting holiday.
If the guy is "extremely hot" I'm sure he has better offers available to him than a colleague's wife. Seriously, this is not the only man on the planet. They can easily find another stud to get the job, as it were, done.
Worms happen not to arouse me; but I am on principle opposed to moralizing my distaste for others' sexual practices.
1) Enjoy. Protect your wealth legally (don't sign over the house!) but otherwise enjoy yourself!
2) Don't fuck your coworker's wife. Dan gave great advice about how to proceed fucking someone's wife, but this isn't someone, it's a coworker. Just don't.
3) Don't put worms inside someone's vagina. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
And exactly WHERE is the line between "fetish" and "sick, deeply fucked up person"?
How demented does a person have to be for Dan to actually tell someone they are fucked up and to get help??
How is this even put in the same category as sex? I don't think these behaviors are sexual at all.
Last week, with the shitty diaper dude, now this??
Next week,
"I fuck dead people"??
Where is the line!! C'mon already!
And exactly WHERE is the line between "fetish" and "sick, deeply fucked up person"?
How demented does a person have to be for Dan to actually tell someone they are fucked up and to get help??
How is this even put in the same category as sex? I don't think these behaviors are sexual at all.
Last week, with the shitty diaper dude, now this??
Next week someone will probably ask
"I fuck dead people, but it's cool cause it's a fetish, right?"
Where is the line!! C'mon already!
I mean, come on. RACK? Seriously? It's enough to be "Risk AWARE"? No, it is not. SSC is the way to go. Safe, sane, and consensual.
No room there for maggots or whatever.
And I think your magic number score was a bit cheeky as it resulted from multiple posts. Griz, what say you? Disqualified? :)
In any case, yes we can be disgusted by other people's weirdo sex stuff. Dirty diapers, worms in vagina, yuck. But I don't see what good it would be to focus on mental illness if the person isn't seeking it nor harming anyone. I mean, even if you thought (for sake of argument) that it's a good idea, where would you draw the line? Going to make a list of sex stuff that's normal-weird vs mental health-weird? Going down that path leads us to moralists regulating other people's sex lives, and I think there's a lot of evidence to support the claim that THAT causes more mental illness than indulging in a fetish safely with a consenting adult.
https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/11…
November 28th is quite a few weeks before last! Last week there was a shitty Dom, I wondered if Cami had just read too much into the word "shitty."
One gross-out letter every two months seems par for the SL course.
Nonetheless, I vote a "no" for @67, @68, and @69 no, and award this week's magic number to BiDanFan, @70 by default. At the same time, Griz is humbled that so many commenters are enjoying participation of our friendly little weekly SL numbers game and that its attraction has been influential.
Just Wednesday, I had a ruling situation I'd never seen in a bridge game. The contract was Three No Trumps, and dummy was put down with a void in clubs, the suit led. Declarer immediately recognized that the contract ought to have been Six Diamonds, which would have scored the slam bonus. Her call for a play from dummy to the first trick was, "ruff." (For non-bridge players, declarer was directing dummy to play a trump, only there was no trump suit.) There were actually three possible solutions about equally in keeping with the spirit of the rules, which do not cover such a situation. One could have treated it as a null designation and given declarer a mulligan, designated the suit to declarer's left as the presumptive trump suit and therefore required the play of that suit, or determined which suit declarer was erroneously thinking to be trumps and going with the designation of the card declarer clearly intended but simply didn't name. Happily, it didn't matter which suit dummy played.
As for the bridge bidding process, and admittedly itās been awhile since I last played, wasnāt there a way to indicate the strong diamond hand earlier?
Offer limited to continental USA.
I'm willing to call it a tie, and concede that this week's lucky number winners are @70 BiDanFan and @71 CMDwannabe. Congrats, BiDanFan and CMD!
@77 CMD: Your house plants must be vibrantly healthy.
I like that baby step suggested by Harriet_by_the_bulrushes @53. Talking dirty about the worms, looking at the worms -- these are safe activities. Then, another day, discuss with clothes on what she might want to try in practice, and the safety concerns.
Nice to see you active, Mr. Vennominon, both here and in bridge.
Best wishes and a belated happy new year to all.
Age, blessedly, is indeed a number.
You got there fairly no, so enjoy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiw…
TwitterEgg did not coin the phrase "safe, sane and consensual." That's been the standard in the BDSM community since, well, Wikipedia says 1983.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe,_sane…
Lava @86: Are you trying to deprive me of my award because I didn't share it with you? No, No hit 69 by getting to 67 and posting repeated replies to themself, so it's not a fair victory in my view. I've only seen Ms 69 herself, Auntie Grizelda, making contrived attempts to hit the number, and that's only if it was a slow week. Lava, I will share my 69 with you too. Consider it a lifetime achievement award. :)
Many people use RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink) instead. I've also seen PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink).
And others don't use cute slogans at all, focusing instead on communication, informed risk assessment, mutual enthusiasm and trust within well-established relationships.
I am neutral on the theory that it actually helped Nancy Kerrigan, who had collapsed under pressure as the favourite at Worlds the year before. The whole debacle definitely helped CBS the following year, when they lost the NFL temporarily to a surprise high bid from Fox, and hastily constructed a season of pro skating - Mx Wanna perhaps would have enjoyed the oft-repeated programme "Patricia the Stripper"; I remember mostly the resurrection of Denise Biellmann.
However unfair it may be, I think it hurt Ms Harding in the collective memory to go out without even attempting a triple Axel at the Olympics. All we were left with was her crying over her broken boot lace, and the disruption of routine that negatively impacted Josee Chouinard. It also didn't help that, fours years later, another of the "weak presentation" skaters had a much more satisfying iconic exit from eligible skating. In Nagano as an alternate, battling an Achilles injury which had hobbled her lutz and flip, having scraped her way into the final group but with her old programme going poorly, Surya Bonaly ended her free skate with an illegal move, the backflip. This regained her the public, as it had her unique trademark - being landed on one foot.
Like I said, let's all claim @69 this week--no(@69), you, too.
How are these French women with some nonesense letter. Wtf girls. As if #metoo is some bull about a bit of flirting.
I feel very offended by that action. French chicks, sure, those guys have their own Language of Love.. and maybe like the languages all over, it needs a little spring cleaning.
This moment is not about flirting, it's about developing the sexual intelligence to know when to do it, and to back off if the other does not respond.
Men are coming forward as well, to talk of their experiences. Now it seems famous famous presently employed (maybenot) male fashion photographers are being accused of gross sexual misconduct and assault against other males.
This is nothing to do with flirting between lovers, adult sexual mutuality. Mature adults know how to read others, not jump in where they might not be welcome.
It's about consent French know it all Princesses.
Second, I wish the male complaints were approximately a half-separate conversation. I am quite prepared to defer on questions of F>M complaints to the women and on M>F to the straight men. But my one apprehension in all this is that FM standards are going to be imposed upon MM consent, despite the great amount of time and energy that been devoted by many to staking out the claim that, in mixed-sex interactions, F consent and M consent differ in ways that are more than cosmetic. My terminilogy is outdated, but I have no complaint about a "reasonable woman" standard replacing the "reasonable man" standard. I just don't want a "reasonable woman" standard to apply to any case that doesn't involve a woman.