I saw a professional for 2+ years on almost a monthly basis. I saw her at her home and she was comfortable enough with me that I had even met her sisters. The last time I saw her we parted ways well as always. Then nothing. I attempted to contact her and her phone didn't work. The last time I saw her, her phone was on the fritz. I am hoping, probably naively, that her phone died and she couldn't recover my info to contact me. Is it wrong to send flowers to try to contact her? If we didn't part ways well that last time or she told me she didn't want to see me anymore, I'd understand and wouldn't bother her again. Just the fact there was no indication that there was a problem is the bothersome part. I understand she may have changed her life, or just didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Just not knowing is the worst.

A response would be greatly appreciated.

The Wonderer

Rather than answering your question myself, TW, I tossed it up on Twitter and invited sex workers to weigh in...

If she has an email or some other form of contact info, trying to send a feeler email out that way would be ok. But she has every right to end the business relationship without explanation. No one can know how damaging and intrusive getting flowers might feel to her.
— ⭐ Anjel ⭐ (@anjel990) July 6, 2018

1. severing contact is a boundary; respect the boundary.
2. SWers often let our clients into parts of our private life, bc it’s impractical to fully compartmentalize it all. that doesn’t mean it’s not a transactional relationship.
3. it’s over. stop speculating why. move on.
— ty mitchell (@TyMitchellXXX) July 6, 2018

Two possibilities: either her ghosting is because of this guy specifically, or it is not. If it is about him (maybe he is not as nice as he thinks), then of course she owes him no explanation. If it's unrelated to him, she *also* owes no explanation. Sorry. #suckitupdude #letgo
— Roderick Grey (@RoderickGreyX) July 6, 2018

Sending flowers or similar forms of approach would be a VERY bad idea. What he should do is search her stage name for a new ad; if there is one, he can attempt contact that way & see what happens. If he can't locate an ad, he should just assume she's retired and move on.
— Maggie McNeill (@Maggie_McNeill) July 6, 2018

Agreed. A pro has a certain context in which they receive contact from their customers. While a thoughtful gesture, flowers out of no where could touch off anxiety she's being stalked. Working the original channels of contact is best. Let her decide if she wants to work.
— Charlotte Lashes, Lifestyle Dominant (@strokeofthelash) July 6, 2018

As a criminalized population, sex workers frequently change phone numbers, emails, etc. I would advise seeing if she's advertising online anywhere, and reaching out by the means she outlines in her ad. I would not advise reaching out in person, or sending anything to her house.
— Ms. Savannah Sly (@SavannahSly) July 6, 2018

Also, sometimes sex workers ghost. Our jobs are stressful due to stigma and criminalization, our lives are complex. Sometimes we ghost without notice, because anxiety runs high in our community. Be patient, look online, be professional during outreach regardless of past intimacy.
— Ms. Savannah Sly (@SavannahSly) July 6, 2018

Lastly, sometimes we actually disappear. As in, violent crimes are committed against us. If you suspect this, I'd advise reaching out to sex worker groups in your area (or as close as you can find) to tell them you're concerned. Then step back, and let the community ask around.
— Ms. Savannah Sly (@SavannahSly) July 6, 2018

As @fakedansavage would say, you are not entitled to closure.
— crrodriguez (@crrodriguez) July 6, 2018

OK just to be different: I’m going to go a different way from all the other advice has been given here. Now, all of the other advice IS very good advice and you will not go wrong by taking it. 1
— Mistress Matisse (@mistressmatisse) July 7, 2018

However, if you would like to make one attempt - and only one - to contact this lady, here is what you might do. Go to the store and buy a very generic “thinking of you” card. Or a blank one. Nothing romantic! Write in the card something like this....2
— Mistress Matisse (@mistressmatisse) July 7, 2018

“Dear X, I see that we’ve fallen out of contact, and I just want to say goodbye and wish you well. I’ve always thought highly of you and enjoyed our time together. If you ever want to contact me again for any reason, please don’t hesitate, my number is...” NOTHING ELSE. 3
— Mistress Matisse (@mistressmatisse) July 7, 2018

Don’t say anything about sex, don’t say anything about money, don’t say anything about love, basically don’t say anything that would sound bad if read out loud in court.
Do that and do *nothing else*. If she wants to get in touch with you, she will. One time and one time only.
— Mistress Matisse (@mistressmatisse) July 7, 2018

Or, take the safer route and follow the advice of my colleagues. Plenty of other ladies to meet and enjoy in the world. I’m sure that’s what she would want you to do, meet someone else.
— Mistress Matisse (@mistressmatisse) July 7, 2018

Thanks to Anjel, Ty, Roderick, Maggie, Charlotte, Savannah, Mistress Matisse and all the other sex workers who weighed in. If you're interested in the sex workers' rights movement—of if you just enjoy spending virtual time with funny, smart people with strong, informed opinions about sex work and other topics—you should be definitely be following Anjel, Ty, Roderick, Maggie, Charlotte, Savannah, and Mistress Matisse!