With extra lobster: when the US electorate finally wakes up to the billionaires having fucked them without lube for decades and elects, even in the rural states, a progressive democrat as President and a 6-year streak of Democrat majority in the Senate, House, and at least half the state legislatures and governors.

Also known as when hell freezes over.

Tie you down, rather than tie you up. Subtle , but distinct. Oh yeah... I think I'm first!

Oh well... Missed it by THAT much!

Are the recent red carpet looks from Timmy Chalamet and Michael B. Jordan a special case of "harnies"?

I'd suggest the very first thing DUMPS should do is gently ask his wife if she's having some digestive issues and if she should perhaps see a doctor.

DUMPS & BAWL would seem to have bad relationships to me. Like, all-over bad. It's a difficult issue: how to get your partner to behave reasonably, in a way most people would find moderate and considerate, when they just can't see it? When the will isn't there? When saying, 'it isn't normal... it isn't considerate' would just embroil you in fruitless, probably circular discussions of what 'normal' is?

BAWL would seem to have the easier problem. She can say that she isn't going to leave and that she wants to be able to discuss middle-sized problems and sticking-points, with a view to making their relationship better. Then ask why he's resistant to that. Do this when there's no particular cause for her to want to take her partner to task. It may be that he has no desire to make the relationship better; he feels entitled to his shitty behavior, because his view of their partnership is that she's worth no better. If it's as bad as this, BAWL should know--it would help her for her bf's high-handedness to become apparent. Alternatively, if her catastrophizing bf just needs extra reassurance before he's able to focus on his shortcomings, let her provide that.

My guess is that DUMPS finds it hard to take the step back and ask why his wife wouldn't want to listen to him. She thinks little of him? Resents him? Dislikes him? Takes him for granted? She just doesn't want to talk about anything at all? In what way are her actions plausible as more than a Pavlovian associative trigger? He should think about this first, not bringing the issue up again with his wife. He should change what he talks about--or how he talks--and see whether her digestion becomes more ironclad. If not, he can broach the issue in the plainest and most general way: What is it about the way I talk that makes you irresistibly want to take a crap?

DUMPS writes:"She will stand up and leave the room when I am making a point." It strikes me that he thinks very highly of his own opinion. He should dial it back before he finds that his wife chooses to take her dump on the dinner table instead.

Or DUMPS and wife could be full of shit.....

@7 - This. His 'making a point' is probably harping on something over and over again until she's sick of it. Taking a dump is her escape mechanism.

I don't care about being the first D-bird in the thread. I'm sure I won't be the last on SL. BAWL's unfortunate girlfriend should just DTMFA. That'd hold his sorry, whiny ass accountable.

PLUS – as I see it sex positivism is awarded for those accepting others as who they are, regardless of the level of their own engagement.

DUMPS- there may be a legit reason, like something that triggers her stomach. Maybe some of us will offer a generic female behavior.

BAWL- turn it into a kink, a play of your choice. “Yes dear, I do hate you. Now bend over and let me spank your ass.” Or, “Oh, you’ve been such a good boy, don’t cry. I‘ve got a treat for you…”
He may not like this kind of approach, but… maybe he will…
In any case, he is likely to stop the whining.

Lobster- should also be expected to be nice and friendly and useful to female genitalia, just like it treats the counter parts. Those two tiny gently vibrating pliers make it extra.

I agree with Auntie G: dump his ass. But, next time he starts whining, tell him you're going to really give him something to whine about. Take all his shit, throw it on the front lawn, light it on fire, and split.

In my experience, the folks who crow the loudest and most prescriptively about being sex positive are always the straight wokeboys who want to appropriate the narratives of sexually marginalized people in order to silence sexually marginalized people.

I know one guy who won't ever shut up about his non-exclusive preference for bondage porn and if anyone suggests that there are other topics of conversation than his dick, he whines about how not endlessly talking about would be like having to go back in the closet. He actually says, "I think we need to be more sex positive," if any woman ever says she's heard enough for one night about his porn.

I've seen straight guys call out women for not being sex positive enough if they push back on "hurr durr boobies" comments.

I've seen straight guys hijack conversations about queer issues to talk about some sexual quirk they have that is, apparently, just the same as being gay. Except for experiencing all the homophobia, you know.

It's wearying. LW1 seems nice. It's always the nice people who get bullied by powerful people coopting the pose of the powerless.

Extra Lobster for me is a sleepy middle of the night quickie after having already had sex before bed.

DUMPS-- Is it possible, if not outright likely, that your wife has a digestive problem that means she can't always wait when the Crap Signal shines in the skies above Gotham? And if so, is it possible she's told you about this problem before and you reacted like an asshole (can't imagine why I thought this is a possibility), so she doesn't feel the need to explain it again?

LSAS-- Your fetish is not a unique one. I don't have it, but I've stumbled onto people before who've had variations on it. They're out there. Some of them are writing and posting stories about it. Use your words, find a guy who's into it or doesn't mind it.

PLUS can not, however, claim to be sex-positive in a dating context. In the dating context, that means you view sex as an integral part of a romantic relationship, and would be clearly false advertising for someone with no interest in sex.

DUMPS faces two possibilities: His girlfriend consuming food can make her want to shit (I frequently shit post dinner), or his company, including "making points", is unbearable (I frequently leave for the bathroom when having dinned with parents.)

BAWLS should simply not console him and say, "We can talk again then you're ready to have this conversation like an adult."

Extra lobster is when, in the course of oral sex, a finger (or two) is slipped into the butt.

"Oral sex is always on the menu, but sometimes I like it with extra lobster."

@18 +1

Per @12 - Yes, that's a thing. It happens. Sometimes you gotta go. My son has this problem. Some people's bodies work this way. Get over it.

Also, if this thing is happening twice a week and has been happening all along, then why is it such a problem? The conversation resumes when she returns, does it not? If this is a known and relatively predictable thing, then check your ego.

Scott @5: Right on. Immediate poops seem a sign of gastrointestinal distress to me, not rudeness. Sure, she could say "excuse me" before leaving the room, but they both know where she's going. Hello, dude, her need -- anyone's need -- to evacuate their bowels is more important than any point you were trying to make, no? You really would prefer to see your wife squirm in pain, or have an accident, so that you can finish your sentence? You're the rude one here.
(My other thought is that she is leaving because she needs to fart, not poop, and doesn't want the smell to spoil dinner. If that's the case, DUMPS should be grateful.)

BAWL's boyfriend's meltdowns may be real. Either he is manipulative or he has been severely damaged by childhood traumas and it doesn't seem he's dealt with them. Or he has BPD. Next time he overreacts, BAWL should calmly state that she's not going to comfort and reassure him; he needs to learn to take constructive criticism like an adult, and if he's not capable, he should see a shrink to figure out why. If he refuses, or if he is doing it on purpose, DTMFA.

"It's not a harness, it's a sports bra" -- priceless! :)

I once was at a bear leather party where everyone freaked out because my friend was dragging me around on a leash (neither of us is into leather, actually - though we're both somwhat kinky - but we were trying to get into the spirit of things). Almost all of the other guys were wearing harnesses. Needless to say, we went home rather disappointed.

It appears harnies are not actually a minority in some leather circles. Thanks for giving them a name, Dan, it was time somebody did.

WTF Dan, you answer the trivial question PLUS asked, instead of advising them to see a doctor? Even though Dan is an advice columnist, this pattern of Dan's is wrong: tell people what they need to hear not what they ask to hear.

DUMPS, yes. Often when people say nothing one should be glad not to be hearing what they would say otherwise.

Er, BAWL's BF could also have issues (like insecurity, etc.) needing therapy.

Aww, LSAS, that's such a mild fetish it's adorable. And you're "not sure what to do". Really? Is your brain OK?

"With extra lobster" is obviously a threesome with a pathologically pliable and depressed Colin Farrell. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3464902/

"With extra lobster" is a cute story.

As for coining a word, seems to me that "with extra lobster" would best be a phrase that modifies an existing word.

To the socks and sneakers guy, foot fetishes are, to our current scientific knowledge as of this writing, far and away the most common fetishes on record. By extension, footgear fetishes are unlikely to offend, relatively speaking.

You, then, hit the jackpot by having a fetish that is marvelously cost-effective in terms of the amount of erotic output gained by what is, in the long run, a very small amount of stimulating input. Some guys require their partners' boots to be absolutely caked in filth before they even get it up, but you simply require shoes to be removed by guys you find attractive. We should all be so lucky!

LSAS: Men in socks is not a fetish (see Tom Cruise in Risky Business). You can be totally out about that!

DUMPS: "About twice a week, my wife gets up from the dinner table to have a shit."

When I read that, I imagined the wife sitting at the dinner table all week long, only getting up twice or so to have a dump. LW's problem isn't as bad as I first thought. He could conduct a test: make his points while not at the dinner table, and see if the wife still flees to the crapper.

DUMPS's question immediately made me wonder if his wife has some kind of GI issue that makes it necessary to go poop now or risk pooping yourself at the table. My second thought was of the song King of Anything by Sara Bareilles: "You've got opinions, man / We're all entitled to 'em, but I never asked / So let me thank you for your time, / And try not to waste anymore of mine / And get out of here fast" (the rest of the song is pretty appropriate too)

I agree it seems baffling that PLUS is asking a sex advice columnist whether they can be considered sex positive instead of asking a doctor what's up with the migraines and pain during genital stimulation! That's not normal, and they're cutting themself off from the vast majority of potential romantic partners, so not as benign a situation as they think. PLUS, this isn't normal -- go see a doctor!

"She will stand up and leave the room when I am making a point"
Good grief will you listen to this self-important shithead?
If he persists in going on about it, she should say "record 'your point' as an mp3 and email it to me."

"Extra Lobster" -- when performing oral sex going further down and eating ass. Male or female. Straight or gay.

Gym wear / sock fetish -- common to the point of not a fetish. As are toes. Easy to accomodate without any need to cringe. WS and Scat are a different league.

Harnies -- I was at a sex party full of bears and a very attractive young thing was there in a harness. I grabbed him by the harness and used him for my personal needs. When I was done, I let him lose and walked off. Later he came up to me and asked for my number. Apparently I was the only guy there (out of 40 or more) who knew what he wanted. Sheeesh. I seem him every couple of months and take what I want from him. He has a sling at home ;))

@26 Lionface
"foot fetishes are...far and away the most common fetishes on record"

Really!? I had NO idea. Oh, I knew it was a thing, I just figured it wasn't THAT common. Which is probably down to my not sharing it at all.

What do you mean tim browne @33 you take what you want from him. Like his lunch money?

DUMPS, be like a toddler and follow her into the toilet.

@36: Thank you for making me spit water at the screen.
I would say that DUMPS is already acting like a toddler.

@38 Dadddy: I'd buy some knee socks!

Actually, that's not true...I already have lots of knee socks. ;) I might increase my selection though. Any kink which is based on my feet being warm is fine with me!

I grew up with some profoundly weird psychological trauma from a parent and as a result I struggle mightily with criticism. I’ve fallen apart on many occasions when criticized, even when I know otherwise that the person is being honest. I don’t know what this guy’s background is but to jump directly into the idea that he’s throwing a tantrum and is trying to manipulate people based just on the description ignores the possibilitiy that he’s dealing with a kind of ptsd. I’m not saying he is, I have no idea. But I have and I’m not trying to manipulate anyone. I’m reacting to what feels like deep humiliation based on a really weird childhood

Ms Ods - You'd be passing up a major point-scoring chance by not making a grievance out of it; good for you.

If I were forced to bet, I'd probably go with BAWL's being a masculine-presenting complementarian same-sexer male - if I took the letter at face value (undecided).

Why assume LSAS has a boyfriend?

Sigh. There's just no way to separate sections of a post any more.

If DUMPS's wife suffers from a gastrocolic reflex, the first person to have realized that, and to have wanted to do something about it, is likely to have been her. I'd imagine this is the sort of thing you notice in relative privacy--you cook a meal for yourself, say, then find yourself perched on the pot before you've half-eaten it; or if you don't cook for yourself, you find yourself rushing to the bathroom at lunch after a sandwich at work, and not chatting to your colleagues; or you're choosing sandwiches so you can finish eating before having to go. This reflex seems to be an inconvenience. I'm not sure it's something anyone just shrugs off, rather than looking for dietary, psychosomatic or other medical fixes.

So I'd conclude the reflex, if that's what it is, is new (they're married and it hasn't come up) or that this isn't the explanation for her behavior at all.

He should change anything he can, short of becoming a different person (and we should all strive to be better people all the time, I guess). Listening rather than talking at mealtimes would be a start.

Assuming perfect behavior on his part (which is hard, I know), to me he would be entitled to divorce if his wife were unwilling to engage with him on this. Let's say she finds involuntary shitting so utterly mortifying she can't be open about it. Doesn't bode well for child-rearing or -raising. Or for more exploratory sexual practices, if he wants to look into them down the line. It suggests she can't offer intimacy in trust--because she doesn't think him worthy of it, perhaps. People say DTMFA all the time in cases where there is less cause than this (the purport and attitude of mind of his letter suggest he's the MF, but imagine not). Everyone will have their quirky cases when they say DTMFA when the issue at hand is apparently trivial, and this would be one of mine.

When I was a child, I would pretend I had to poop whenever my mother served meatloaf.

Unrelated: it suddenly feels very unfortunate that I hate lobster and instead consider crab to be the ultimate luxury food.

@38: Are you kidding, Dadddy? That's got to be the easiest-and-least-troublesome kink to fulfill. And the added foot warmth would lead to easier orgasms: https://www.maxim.com/news/socks-sex-study-2016-11.

Why should anyone object?

@44: I hate lobster, too, but I can get behind the idea of lobster with extra lobster.
Like, gold with extra gold. Champagne with extra bubbles. Orgasms with extra orgasms? Or orgasms with extra intensity or duration?

@44 With extra crabs doesn't have the same zing though does it?

I had the most fun at the swingers party last weekend, with extra crabs!

Now I'm terribly curious just how long and turgid this guy's rampaging point is.

@40 Yeah this happens plenty with people who aren't being consciously manipulative and can't just turn it off. You can try treating him like the toddler as a temporary expedient, but in the longer-than-short run he's got to get his own shit together. Therapy isn't magic but this is a good place to try it.

I want to revise my Extra Lobster definition to combine with @33:

When you would like anal stimulation along with your oral sex, be sure to order the extra lobster.

(Whether by finger, tongue, dildo, stunt cock or other is immaterial.)

I would KILL for an edit button right now....

Extra lobster is when oral sex includes an extra topping of anal attention.

(Whether by finger, tongue, dildo, stunt cock or other means is immaterial.)

"When oral sex is on the menu, I always ask for the extra lobster."

To all the lobster suggestions: "Extra lobster" means more lobster in addition to the lobster you ordered -- more of that thing you really like, not a different thing. So I would suggest that "extra lobster" in a sexual sense means that someone goes down on you, then immediately after they go down on you again. (Apologies to those people who don't like oral sex.)

Lava @36: Wins the DUMPS thread! Congrats!

Dadddy @38: Not straight, but knee socks seem an exceptionally easy kink to accommodate. And agree with Ciods, my feet are warm, he's turned on, everyone's a winner.

Venn, I read LSAS as being currently single. But there's an easier solution to his problem: just date sporty types and adopt a "no shoes in the house" rule. Mission accomplished!

Ms Fan - I must be going doolally (or having one of Ms Goolagong's walkabouts); apparently the word "next" (before boyfriend) in Mr Savage's response didn't register, or else I lost it when the page changed margins, as happens on my computer sometimes when I'm in the middle of reading things.

I'm starting to think there's a youth component in that letter, but that might be because I don't even have a pair of white socks, though I could manage about thirty-odd other colours/shades.

BiDan @53: That might feel a little creepy if a visitor ever transitions to boyfriend. Another option might be to get a job at Foot Locker (or some other sporty footwear store).

Fubar @56: "No shoes in the house" rules are extremely common, the default in many cultures. I don't think it's a stretch to think that someone could both have a thing for sock feet and a desire to keep his carpet/wood floor in good condition. So long as he doesn't JUST ask the male guests who are wearing white socks, and doesn't openly perv (which he'd have to do at Foot Locker too, right?), I think it's fine. I wouldn't be skeeved out to learn that a partner really enjoyed the sight of me wearing [insert item of clothing here] prior to our dating.

BAWL could also have an anxiety disorder or other reason for the disfunction. This reaction to criticism can be quite common to someone who struggles with certain types of anxiety and isn't necessarily manipulative. However, that doesn't mean she should have to put up with it even if it is anxiety or otherwise psychological in nature. It's up to him to work on himself. Couples counseling might also be a good idea if she wants to keep the relationship together.

@29, "He could conduct a test: make his points while not at the dinner table, and see if the wife still flees to the crapper."

He could conduct a more illuminating test by NOT making his points and seeing if she stays at the table. If so, he'll have solved two problems at once.

Dadddy@59 - you have a very strange idea of how women think. Wearing knee socks as a turn-on is really not much different from wearing lingerie, a sexy costume, a bikini, or whatever else floats your boat (wasn't there a recent letter about a guy who had a thing for blueberry Violet?). It's just that you personally don't find knee socks sexy, so it seems "silly" and "arbitrary" to you. Do you think women take offense or fetishized when they wear lingerie too?

Extra lobster means more of the same. Like a vibrator that goes to 11.

@Jina @61: It's not clear to me that Dadddy doesn't find knee socks sexy. I'd bet the other way, were I a betting woman. "Silly" and "arbitrary" describe most kinks, really, and doesn't mean they aren't powerful. He's just trying to feel out the possible reactions, and listing some of the negative reactions he can imagine some women having. At least, that's how I read it.

And some women do feel fetishized when asked to wear lingerie. There's a whole spectrum of reactions to most things.

@Venn @41: In my experience, point-scoring never improves a relationship.

Ciods @ 64 - That's quite an understatement.

There's a French expression that perfectly encapsulates DUMPS's predicament: il la fait chier. Literally (in the literal sense), this means "he makes her shit", i.e. he annoys her to the point of shitting.

After a lifetime of looking for one, I've finally found a literal application for this saying. Today is a great day.

extra lobster.... sorta like a lagniappe.

@47 Exactly! It's a phrase that would just never catch on except in warnings to not share towels in public spaces.

@35/ oh lava girl.... to be so young and naive 😘

Glad it brought you happiness Ricardo, and thanks for the info. Yes. He sounds an unpleasant man. Imagine her getting up mid point.

If only I was young tim browne @70, I’d skip the naive.

Ricardo @65: I like to channel my inner Brit at times.

Dadddy @69: So you've run across such women? How unfortunate. Well, I suppose it's probably just an expression of my own arrogance, but Jesus, I feel for straight men sometimes. A lot of straight women seem a mess.

Considering the astronomical price of a standard lobster roll in Reykjavik, I can't imagine what the bill for "extra lobster" might be.

Next time I'm there, though, I intend to pay it just so I can say it. Hope it catches on!

Dadddy @74: I can imagine it would get tedious for any woman to get attention from her partner only if she was wearing [fill in blank here]. As for the concept that wearing [fill in blank here] would make one appear more desirable than pure nakedness, to echo some of the incredulity on the porn thread, how could one be aware of the existence of lingerie and not know that? Wearing [thing one's partner finds sexy] is a way to send the signal to said partner, I am hoping to seduce you. And that in itself is sexy.

But I can see that if a woman stripped off completely in hopes of seducing a partner who then said "here, put this on," it could come across as a personal rejection. So don't frame it that way. Smooth? Try buying her [item of clothing] as a present and telling her how sexy you find women in [item of clothing], then rewarding her when she wears it. Bonus, the less effort it is for her (and the more enthusiastic the reward), the more likely she will do it.

Ms Ods - Well, these days, it seems that people would rather win the relationship than improve it.

LavaGirl @72 -- To answer your original question, I'd give you a full run down of what he got, but this is a family forum. Let's just say it was hard, rough, and sweaty.

@28 fubar: "Just take those old records off the shelf.
I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself.
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I like that old time rock n roll."
Go, Bob Seeger, GO!! Rock the house, baby!!

@36 LavaGirl: Smacks it out of the park re DUMPS for the WIN!
@52 BiDanFan (re LavaGirl @36): I second it.
@69; Congratulations, Dadddy, on scoring this week's Lucky @69 Award! May a decadent abundance of Valentine's Day sweetness come your way soon.

Extra lobster....Griz will have to think about that one. I have enjoyed a nice lobster dinner in the past with butter and lemon. Delectable. But lately I have been reminded of the horrible (in my opinion) 2015 film, The Lobster, about a dystopian society where single people have 45 days to get paired up or be transformed in to the animal of their choice. Word up to Colin Farrell and John C. Reilly: RUN LIKE HELL!

@66 Ricardo: LOL Merci beaucoups por le lecon en Francais! I about crapped my pants.You are an absolute treasure.

@40 skyweaver: I LOVE your delightfully wicked Maleficent avatar!

Who's up for this week's Hunsky? Especially since it's another Snow Day here in the PNW and elsewhere.....

tim b@78 ~ “...this is a family forum...”
WHERE did you get THAT idea? Don’t know about you, but my family very rarely sits around discussing the relative merits of ass-fucking, cum-guzzling and golden showers. Jeez, my mom almost fainted when I mistakenly tuned in to “Fargo” on cable one time.

Griz @ 79 ~ re: transforming into the animal of your choice... does it have to be an animal? I always wanted to come back as Jennifer Aniston’s bicycle seat...

@82 DonnyKlicious: I'm only going by The Lobster film plot here, but yes, unfortunately Jennifer Aniston's bicycle seat would not have been an available option for you. I wouldn't mind sharing a Harley with Brad Pitt, though (I can hear Steppenwolf now: "Born to be wiiiiiilld.......").
A girl can dream.

Classic rock just fucking RULES.

It's one thing to be anal retentive for yourself. It's another to expect someone who needs to go, to delay so that you can make your point--control freak, much?

Plenty of people (and other animals) have a poop reflex that's triggered by taking in a certain volume of food and drink. I notice our cats having a "gotta go" if I feed them a big meal. The idea that someone is either spurning your pearls of wisdom or showing disrespect because they take a dump when they have to take a dump is really self-involved, self-important and icky.

fubar @28 Thank you for your mention of young Tom Cruise when he was likable in Risky Business (cue Bob Seeger's classic rock hit, Old Time Rock and Roll, cranked up with Tom dancing in his socks and undies while his parents are away--and before Rebecca DeMornay as call girl Lana shows up). Now I just can't seem to escape from 1983.......ahhh, memories. Griz was 19 then....

To DUMPS does your wife still have a gallbladder? My grandmother used to do the same as your wife. Mid meal she was gone and would soon be back. We would mock her mercilessly!

Cut to several years later when I lost my gallbladder. I’d sit at any meal wondering where the closest bathroom. I could count like clockwork. 45 minutes from the first bite I was RUNNING to the bathroom. It was terrible. It was devastating. It took me years to find a solution that worked for me!

If this might be the case she can try citrucel or citracal (extra bonus on the second thanks to the calcium) to see if she finds improvement.

Dadddy, I've been thinking about it, and I think if I were you I'd probably follow Dan's standard advice on kinks, even with one as mild as this: disclose, downplay, drop. I can imagine bringing it up almost off-hand--not at the dinner table, or out of the blue, but maybe after sex when everyone's moved on to the next thing but still feeling fuzzy--a sort of, "I don't know where you fall on footwear, but if you ever feel like throwing on some knee socks, I promise to show you a good time." Add wicked smile. Then drop it, and see what happens. If I were the woman, I'd be thrilled to have such an easy way to turn my guy's crank. Even if someone has never had a kink broached with them before, that seems like a pretty non-threatening way to do it.

Dadddy @88: If there isn't an occasion when buying her lingerie or equivalent as a gift would be appropriate, I second Ciods's recommendation of an out-of-bed, light "so what are your kinks?" conversation. Fifth date seems good timing -- not too late, not too early. I recently met a young man who, on our FIRST hookup, talked me into letting him suck my toes (usually not my thing) by being casual about it, starting with a foot massage, which I greatly appreciated, then asking but making it clear that he would be perfectly fine if I said no. For you, with V-Day coming up, seems like a perfect opportunity to buy her a little package including some chocolates, a sexy pair of panties and some knee socks. At least this is a small investment if it turns out she's not into [kink], but again, wearing socks of some sort is something she does anyway, and she may be thrilled to find you don't expect her to go barefoot for your pleasure on cold winter nights. (Typed while wearing a pair of over-the-knee "sexy socks" purchased for me by a former lover.)

To the sneakers and socks guy - tell your boyfriends your kink! It is so harmless and mild. If a guy really likes you, he'd be an absolute fool not to indulge you.

I have to say, Dadddy, it's been nice seeing the human side of you behind the masculine bravado. Perhaps your new lady is a luckier gal than I would have believed last week! ;) Re @91, that's why I suggested bringing up the topic outside of bed. It will probably lead to bed regardless!

The way DUMPS frames the situation - right when I'm making a point! - also has me suspecting that ze's trapping zir wife in a lecture she finds tiresome. The gut being full is a fairly common prompt for people to defecate (body clears out the colon in preparation for digesting the food one just consumed) - lots of people regularly eliminate shortly after eating a meal; if the post-dinner conversation (or monologuing) goes on for half an hour or more, it would be entirely normal for Wife to feel the (increasingly persistent, as time passes) need to defecate.

Persistent digestive issues - which are potentially serious if it's something progressive like undiagnosed celiac disease or cancer - may well mean she can't hold it. But she's not doing it every time, so this is less likely. It could also be both - Wife can and does hold it for a little while, with increasing discomfort, while DUMPS goes on and on. Remember, everyone, conversation is a reciprocal activity that requires consent - nobody is obligated to converse with you. I wouldn't want a relationship with someone who wouldn't talk to me, so it would be my option (that I would exercise) to break up in that case; we can't control others' behaviors, only how we respond.

Personally, I think the masculine bravado works well on both of you--

@Dadddy: I hope this new woman enthusiastically puts on knee socks for you and knocks your socks off.

Fan has never compared feminism to conversion therapy, her masculine bravado isn’t toxic.

HUnsky!!!!

@100: Forgive me, folks--Griz couldn't help herself. LOL

Bless you all--I find this week's comment thread truly delightful.
@98 nocutename: I second it. Well said!
@Dadddy--I have to agree with nocutename and many others--your openly expressed love of socks is a welcome sweet side of you.

Nor has Fan written that a trans woman being put into a women’s prison is every man’s dream.
You can fool some of the people some of the time...

Every straight man’s dream.

You can’t have it both ways Dadddy, be a sweet cute guy and a sexist transphobic piece of shit.

Be fully one or the other. Personas are transparent to some feminists.

Hah. Well, I did manage to make an impression on a lovely lady with my cufflinks this past weekend. Non-toxic masculine bravado for the win.
Congrats on the hunsky, Griz!
And don't worry Lava, all that's changed is that when Dadddy resumes his misogynist shtick we can now say, drop the act dude, we all know you're a cuddly sock-lover ;)

HaHa, Fan. Love you.

You wear cuff links.. I’ve got this blue glass pair Austen Powers would have been proud of. I used to love donning shirt, tie and cuff links, with a swank waistcoat. And trousers. Been a few years since I wore that look. I have this beautiful tie by a well known aboriginal artist, and a South Park one.

“Harnies” does seem a bit high school “you’re not cool enough to hang out with us.”

Everyone’s gotta start somewhere

Like you, I know people who seem vanilla, or out of place or awkward or like newbs, or who are newbies... but close the door to the outside world and let’s see what you think. They don’t need ropes or straps either to lift you up (figuratively) or hold you down (literally)