Socially I’d never want to go back. I still see from my understanding of sixties- seventies feminism, what we fought for was choice. To have easy access to community women’s/ children’s groups, to have easy child care so a woman could work if she chose to. It was about opening up isolated nuclear family life, bringing the mammoth task of child rearing into the public sphere. In women’s ways. Patriarchal Capitalism has turned all that around and some women are worked to the bone. I know my daughter is, even with an equally sharing mate and two grandmothers to help.

All in the past now, seems quaint in a way compared to the destruction of our planet that we now face.

@205 Dadddy It strikes me you are engaging in the same type of thinking you are protesting. Orgasm gap studies generally indicate lesbians, on average, have less frequent sex but the sex they have, on average, is longer lasting, more leisurely and more mutually satisfying. Some people value quality over quantity, some value quantity over quality, some fall in the middle. My own preference as a hetero woman is for quality over quantity, but I recognize that's not universal and allow others their preferences.

@CMD thanks, I didn't know about any of that. Thanks for the links too.

@Lava, agreed the wars produced the sort of industrial wealth & modern era at least in the west.

@208 auntie griselda Indeed -- while bonobos are sometimes known as "pygmy chimpanzees" (though they really aren't any smaller than chimpanzees) because of how closely related the two are (both members of the genus Pan), bonobos are recognized as a separate species, P. paniscus, from chimpanzees (which are P. troglodytes) and have been since the late '20's. Both are great apes, and the two species are collectively the closest living relatives to modern humans.

@215 CalliopeMuse: That is good to know. I have long known that chimpanzees are our closest link to the animal world. English primatologist Jane Goodall was (and is--she's 85 and still alive) wonderful with them. Unfortunately, so many modern humans tend to fight and fuck too much....

Jane Goodall was my personal hero for much of my childhood. She still is, along with Sylvia Earle, who was a pioneering woman in marine biology and the first female chief scientist at NOAA (the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration). My dream is to work for NOAA's Office of Ocean Exploration and Research.

We are just as closely related to bonobos as we are to chimpanzees.

@217 & @218 CalliopeMuse: If you want to see a touching film scene involving some amazing primates, watch The Graduate (1967). Recent college graduate, Benjamin Braddock (played by Dustin Hoffman in his breakthrough role) pursues his dream girl, Elaine Robinson (Katharine Ross) who is enrolled at Berkley. He follows her to the local zoo on a city bus.
Benjamin and Elaine have a past: they grew up together in affluent Los Angeles; their fathers share a law firm. It's a sticky situation, however, between Ben and Elaine. Ben has ended an affair with Elaine's mother, Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft) and has fallen in love with Elaine. At the zoo, Ben is left behind as Elaine meets up with her date and future fiancee, Carl Smith (Brian Avery) at the Monkey House, where acrobatic long-tailed tree monkeys are seen and heard swinging, cajoling, and leaping off enclosed railings. Ben is heartbroken watching Elaine and Carl walk off together. There is an immediately following closeup of two chimps studying Ben sadly, as if to say, "Bummer, man." Then the camera moves right to zoom in on a gorilla sitting alone, deep in thought.

LW1, thought of you:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/d36bvg/comment/f025xds

@113 Jibe - I can only speak to my own experiences here. I was as clueless and about approaching someone else's vulva as a 15 year old boy.

What I was much better about was communicating. Turns out that's all you need.

@94 bdf - holy hell that's a tremendous act of generosity.

@erica somewhere - yeah I thought at some point you had mentioned hiring a pro w your husband from time to time but maybe that was someone else. It was a while ago.

@130 Late - I used to only orgasm once very intensely that took work to reach now it's multiples with initial intensity that decreases w each one but very easy to achieve. I wouldn't be at all sad to go back to the first kind. Different, not better.

@132 Lava - agreed, always watch the hands. If they're good with their hands on you they're good with their hands everywhere. You learn to see.

@135 Philo re starfish guys - yes, exactly, two data points. Then other later sessions, do exactly what I tell you and nothing else. Then, both explore.

@151 bdf I can wear my bra cup as an effective rainhat and this is not a problem. It is the only position I'm self conscious in though, don't know why.

@187 cmd - thank you, that entire comment was excellent.

@205 D - as you seem to indicate, the "more sex" that straight couples have is somewhat by definition the sex women initiate. Although of course non-recip bjs are balanced out by non recip cunnilingus in equal frequency, right? Quickies are mutually orgasmic or they don't happen, right? This is but one of the "more satisfying sex" mysteries the lesbians have miraculously solved via equality.

I guarantee you the lesbian orgasm count is stratospherically higher than straight couples despite less sex. And that's not even counting intensity.

"the sex that women DON'T initiate".

Oh for an edit button.

@223 "by definition the sex that women DON'T initiate".