Savage Love

The No-Pandemic Challenge

Comments

1

I wonder why LW2 couldn't just search for the length of time the Corona virus lives on different surfaces. I'm sure there were better questions for Dan to answer than this 1

2

Agreed. Quite a waste of Dan's time.. despite him having more of it than usual these days I'm sure (only two letters though? Come on Dan.. We're all holed up in need of reading material!).

3

Oh and before Gris gets on here and freaks the fuck out - let me be the first to say - Hey, you posted first. Like that matters for some reason.

5

It's irresponsible to recommend anything potentially risky considering that the LW's partner is living with a vulnerable parent. Selfish of LW, too. Any risk, however seemingly small, should only be taken if truly necessary. You should be asking yourself, "Am I willing to risk that person's life for the thing I want to do?" If your answer is yes, you're a complete asshole.

This should be Dan's thinking, too. He shouldn't be recommending people take any risk, no matter how seemingly small. That risk could have a death toll attached to it.

6

@KBW: "Any risk, however seemingly small, should only be taken if truly necessary."

No matter how small? That's insane.

The degree of risk always matters. People have always rounded negligible risks down to zero - they have to in order to get out of bed each day. Cowering and panicking over one-in-million risks doesn't make anyone safer, and it comes with its own risks to mental and physical health.

7

VAG wouldn't be "sending" a pervy package, it sounds like VAG would deliver it in person. They live in the same city and go for "distanced walks", I assume that means they meet up and walk around the park while keeping 6 feet apart or something.

8

So I have a question on LW1 - is she into big bellies on partners, or herself?

LW2, just tell him to leave the package in the closet for a day or two. Whether she delivers it herself or mails it, that should do.

9

It's very sweet of LW2 to offer her used underwear, yet while vaginal fluids may not transmit the recent bug I wonder if anal stuff will.

As for delivery, she can double bag her underwear a day in advance, so once the outer layer is carefully cut while using gloves, discarding the outer bag, sanitizing the scissors, and tossing the gloves, said underwear is ready for action.

What will “action” consist of and does LW want her underwear back are also issues that need to be addressed. Can bf wash said underwear once the action is over without finding it awkward to explain their parent how they got in the washer in the first place?
As for action, will he place scented underwear on his face while masturbating or masturbate into them? If the latter and you want your underwear back make sure they aren’t made of silk. As lovely as silk underwear can be semen, even the tiniest unintentional precum drop, will leave a permanent stain.

10

Considering how much it cost me that I always refused to try to pray it away, I'll content myself with feeling dreadfully sorry for anyone who yielded to that temptation.

While I would advise a friend with a high-ask kink to roll it out with diplomacy, maybe most people should present them as if they were Christmas presents, in order to increase the number of those who will respectfully decline the "gift".

11

LW1, the odds that your man will have a gut at some point soon is like 80%. You should practice now getting over the idea that 'fit' means 10% body fat, it is totally possible to be strong, healthy and still have a visible gut. I know your fetish is partially about the 'obscenity' of chubby dudes, but if you can avoid being negative about it to yourself or your partner you can easily fulfill this fetish with no harm done. I'm not into feeder stuff, but I am a big fan of BBWs so I came to terms with this a long time ago. My wife is healthy, works out, and also has the chub I like, it's totally possible.

12

@1 Dashing: WA-HOOOO!! Big congrats to Dashing for scoring the highly coveted FIRDT Award only here in Savage Love! Bask in the glory of leading tis week's comment thread. :)

13

@1: Congrats on the FIRDT.

@3: Unclench a little. It won't kill you to have a little fun. Also fuck off with the dig at Griz (not Gris; please pay attention).

@4: Just fuck off.

@5: SMH. We should all just kill ourselves already, to prevent the spread.

@10: Venn. Totally agree. Kinks are gifts. Disclosure may increase the decline rate, but will surely increase the uptake rate too.

I find myself very irritated with unkind people on the internet tonight. Hopefully, it doesn't show.

14

@2: Only two letters but over word count... sheesh. I'll do a quickies next week.

15

@3: Is staying indoors really getting to you, Jack? Take a chill. Spring is here. And please at least get my screen name right. It's auntie grizelda. Either Griz or griz is okay for short.
You and everyone else commenting are not required to play my little lucky numbers game if you don't want to participate. You can always skip over posting for comments @1, @69, @100, and from there on ending in 69 or 00. If you should land on a lucky number, you can always bequeath your numerical honors to another commenter (as vennominon and CMD have done on previous occasions).
@13 fubar: Thank you and bless you. Please accept a virtual hug, along with positrons and VW beeps from my beloved Love Beetle and me. :)

VAG: All the best with your love packages to your BF. I know he will appreciate them.

16

@14 Dan the Man: Don't cave to the trolls--they're not worth the hassle.
Otherwise, keep up the excellent Savage Love columns and keeping us smiling. :)

Everyone stay healthy and safe.
@13 fubar: Just a dumb question: Did I overdo it with two song parodies shared in last week's SL?

17

@16: Maybe I should rephrase my question: Dan, fubar, and everyone, did I overdo it on the song parodies (although there were only two) last week?

18

Overdo it? IDK. Some folks must have enjoyed them more than I did. My computer has a scroll feature, so NP.

Did a couple of columns/threads disappear, or is it me? I thought I remembered a question from someone with a friend she was hot for staying with her.

19

I am so sick of people who are ashamed of their attraction to fat folks. Look, I get it. You have the opportunity to live in thin privilege, with a partner who reinforces the same. It's nice to be at the top of the hierarchy and not have to deal with any hassle from fatphobes. But it's not what you really want. You're not actually fully attracted to your boyfriend; he's just your beard. Be brave, come out of the closet and get yourself a fat boyfriend. You will be much happier in the end.

20

@18 yes, look at the last few comments on the most recent reader round up thread.

21

@14 - THANKS DAN!

@15 - So sorry for spelling it Gris instead of Griz! Odd mistake for me to make. I was even pronouncing the Z in my head as I typed it.

Nothing to do with staying indoors - I just think the whole WA-HOOOO thing every week is a bit overkill, that's all.

22

Thank you @fubar!!! You've restored my faith in the internet tonight <3

23

@jack chandelier: Just think of Griz as your kind ol auntie who just wants to celebrate every little thing, and shower people with gifts, love, and affection!!! That's how it's meant, I think ;)

24

@20; .....said an obvious troll. You're new here, huh? Isn't it past your bedtime?
@21 : Jack--seriously.You can always just skip over any of my comments, or tune them out. Any overkill is what you choose to make of it. :)
@23; KindnessisKey: Thank you and bless you. That's all I ever intended. :)

Everyone stay healthy and safe..

25

Grizelda don’t read them.. people are isolated and finding things to let off steam thru. As if these numbers don’t bestow good luck. Always have for me.

26

@6. Dadddy. We don't yet know how big of a risk to your life corona is if you catch it. Does it have a 5% fatality rate or a 0.2%? What are the factors that elevate individual risk, including genetic? I'd want to know the answers to these questions before I engaged in calculated risks in resuming my ordinary activities.

27

BBW risks getting in the headspace where she convinces herself that she can only come from watching or fantasising about big bellies. This isn't necessarily true. There may be other changes she and her partner could make to their sex lives that could see her getting off more. (Of course, it may be true that she needs bellies to tip her over--and, if so, this wouldn't be anything to be ashamed of. It would be something to share with her partner and happily, self-lovingly explore).

It occurred to me that she could ask her bf to wear a fatsuit doing sex. This isn't a kink I know much about--would that be (physically) possible? Are fatsuits just bellies, or do they impringe on the genitals? How uncomfortable or cumbersome would this be for the man--in conventional OS fucking? They could try it out (?).

28

A hot fat fuck? Go find it + enjoy the hell out of it. A big slab of meat is kind of in demand though, so avoid the mistake of thinking you're doing him any favors by being available.

29

Griz @16, 17: I enjoyed the song parodies. I also enjoy the numbers game. I scroll past lots of comments, but not yours. Please just carry on being you. Bless you and your VW.

30

Harriet @26: The risk being contemplated is that of giving used panties to a partner whilst maintaining the recommended social distance.

That's too risky for KBW, and KBW calls Dan "irresponsible" for endorsing the gesture, even though he recommended all the safeguards suggested by the science people. I'm with Dan and Dadddy on this one.

We all need to stay home as much as possible, wash our hands a lot, limit Corvid-19 news consumption, and try to stay sane.

31

Harriet @27: Are fat suits really a thing? I know they're used in movies (e.g., The Nutty Professor, 1996), but I doubt there's a market for them otherwise. Mocking fat people doesn't have the cachet it used to.

BBW didn't get into why the rest of her brain HATES her kink. My gut feeling (pun intended) is that it's related to revulsion and fear around obesity. She didn't invent that shit - it's what our society screams from the rooftops - but she might want to unpack it all with an online therapist, and maybe get to a place where she can enjoy her kink (or at least her attraction) without feeling "embarrassed and disgusted".

32

Anyone else unclear on whether BBW likes partners with big bellies versus eroticising herself with a big belly? I ask because she says "in reality he’s doing great and I’m just frustrated with my body." Her body, not his. If it matters.

Ankyl @7, I didn't get that at all.

Slomo @8, yes and yes. Whether she hand delivers the package versus puts it in the post for the mailman to deliver, there is risk of the virus getting onto the package. Presumably the mailman wears gloves; she should too. Boyfriend should assume they have not worn gloves and proceed accordingly. This doesn't seem any riskier than any other package he might be receiving during this time.

Fubar @13, whether they came from a place of irritation or not, I agree 100% with your replies to @2 through @4. Thank you!

Griz @17, I got too busy to go back and catch up on last week's comments. No personal slight intended, in fact I really am too busy to be here now! I'm in that small but struggling minority whose workload has exploded as a result of the coronavirus. Back to work for me!

33

"Every time I finish masturbating, I feel embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Some part of my brain obviously craves the kink, but the rest of my brain HATES it."

BBW, stop judging yourself for what you're only thinking about. Thoughts are not actions, they do not impact reality and as such are never wrong. Give yourself the freedom of your thoughts, for pete's sake. Feeling that thoughts alone are wrong is a hangup.

"COVID-19 hasn’t been detected in vaginal fluids"

If you're saying they've gotten around to looking and it's not there, cool. Otherwise if it's just that they haven't tested vaginal fluids for COVID yet, this is very dangerous and irresponsible advice.

If the panties have a plastic tag on them, we know COVID lives for 3 days on that (and on metal). But maybe it's more, we know (perhaps just because we've had more time to build up data) that other coronaviruses live for three times as long (for example 9 days on metal and plastic).

@9 CMD
"I wonder if anal stuff will"

It is absolutely known to. The given the proximity of the two orifices, I think there would be traces of each on both areas. As such I think Dan fucked up regardless of the answer to my above question about whether Dan is citing tests or the lack or tests.

34

I have read that feces carry a high load of the virus, so that should be taken into account, with the panties. I would imagine that since it's microscopic, there wouldn't necessarily need to be anything visible. So take the kind of precautions one would take if it were, say, a handkerchief she'd coughed into. Just putting the whole package in the closet for a week before opening would probably take care of the danger, but would there still be any smell left after that time? I haven't had a sense of smell for thirty years, so this isn't the kind of thing I know.

35

@32 BiDanFan
"Presumably the mailman wears gloves"

A crazy-making thing about the now times, is that it really doesn't matter to the recipient if the mailman wears gloves. (In fact, plastic gloves could be worse!) Because if the mailman touches COVID he ends up cross-contaminating the things he touches later regardless of whether he wears gloves.

In the course of my disinfecting routines, I also do a lot of disinfecting of the gloves I'm using (to protect my hands from the disinfectant).

36

@34 agony
"Just putting the whole package in the closet for a week before opening would probably take care of the danger, but would there still be any smell left after that time?"

Yes, one would want to put the package in the closet for a week.

But to me this just says that the whole idea of sending someone bodily fluids during a period of pandemic isolation is idiotically foolish.

37

I resisted posting this when I wrote it a week ago, but I may as well.

Everyone is next-level stressed.

Certainly me included. (There's one person I'm even more pissed at than I was pissed at Dubbya for causing the death of a million Iraqis in our name.)

In the before times, I was quite comfortable engaging people in vigorous debate. But I'm trying to treat people gently now. Even if someone feels the need to get be mean. Particularly here, where there are no sticks or stones, we just have words.

Now more than ever, we've probably all considered our actions as well as we can. We're probably also all open to respectful tactful discussion. But I wonder if that, let along vigorous debate or even insults, is gonna change anybody's behavior.

I'm sure someone(s) here are making decisions differently than I would make them. I'm also pretty sure that they're doing so from emotional states so raw and stretched to the limit, that nobody's minds are gonna be changed by rhetorical force. Maybe not at all.

It seems to me that people are doing what they need to do. To respond to primitive parts of themselves such as survival instincts like fight or flight. To do what they have to do to bear this.

So try to remember that you and me and everyone are in a very difficult place.

/Break/
I hired a young person today to buy dry ice for me. Actually I hired her yesterday too, but it turned out she wasn't focusing on the job description because she got me regular ice because didn't actually know what dry ice was.

I was very happy to hire her, largely because she was the only one whose ad talked about the COVID precautions she takes, and I really don't want helping me to hurt anyone. I also thought it was great because she said she's being really careful because she lives with her grandparents.

She did get me the dry ice. But in the process she told me she "was in church" this morning. I was literally speechless, simply resolving to not hire her again. (I guess she might have meant she watched it on TV or something. Had she meant that I wish she would have communicated that. Because I'm really hesitant to ask something judgey.) Anyway, yes, I did proceed to disinfect everything.

38

Oh, and a mask is not a hermetically-sealed bubble. Now that masks are advised here, I notice people ignoring that they are not to be used as a substitute for physical distance.

I saw a masked person walk right in between my elderly neighbors without any distance. This is violence, however invisible it is to the unaware masses.

39

Grizelda @24 was it me you were referring to as a troll? If so I think you misunderstood my comment. I wasn't saying "yes, Griz did too many song parodies". I was saying "yes, a SLLOTD was deleted, you can find details over on the other comments thread".

I'm not new around here, I've been posting for years, just not very often. I always read though.

40

curious @33: I believe Dan's source of info for the vaginal fluid all-clear was the NY dept. of health. Apparently, they tested. They also recommended against rimming at this time.

41

@40 fubar
Ah, good to know, thank you. And good on the NY Dept. of Health for the info. However, panties touch both orifices, so I think everything about the sending of panties now, while well-intentioned, was not well-considered.

42

@41 p.s.
"not well-considered"

And that's understandable; we're unaccustomed to thinking in detail of a microscopic foe. And everyone has different strengths; thinking of complicated details isn't everyone's.

Sending something from isolation that touched one's body, to someone else in isolation, unless a conservatively calculated length of time passes before the package is opened, is just asking to defeat the whole purpose of the isolation.

43

@25 LavaGirl: Thank you and bless you. Big hugs, positrons, and VW beeps, and I hope that all is well your way.
@29 fubar: I wish I could reach out and hug you right now! Thank you and bless you.
XO,
Griz
@32 BiDanFan: I am sorry to hear that you are now overwhelmed at work because of the CO-VID 19 pandemic. Sending big hugs, positrons, and VW beeps. I hope that things get better soon.
@39 elmsyrup: I think I over-reacted to your post. I apologize. A lot of us are indeed, stressed right now. Music, movies, and reading help me a lot.

Everyone stay healthy, safe, and sane. Together we will get through this.

44

@Dadddy, @Fubar - This is clearly a risk, for multiple reasons. Packaging can carry the virus. Feces can carry the virus. Delivery carries risks, whether through mail or in person. All for what? So some guy can sniff his GFs panties? Is that risk worth the lives of vulnerable family members?

I'm getting really sick of how some people attempt to downplay and gaslight regarding this pandemic. The risk is real, and some people are dying for stupid reasons. "Wank panties" would have to rate up their among the stupidest, if something were to go wrong with that scheme, which it clearly could.

So fuck right off with your attempts to paint my comment as unhinged hysteria.

45

@KBW
We essentially agree on this...

(including your observation @44 that the goal of this is after all so the guy can sniff her panties, and from her letter we have no reason to think that's even particularly important to him, let alone a kink that's essential or whatever.)

...but I think Dadddy@6 is correct that @5 your

"Any risk, however seemingly small, should only be taken if truly necessary."

was unrealistically hyperbolic.

Every time I open my door it comes with some risk. Even the door to my tiny private backyard; for all I know someone with a huge viral load coughed upwind of me 9 blocks away. Yet I might still walk to my car and drive just to drive, despite it not being essential. (Though I have to admit that the joy of activities is not enhanced by that I think of every possible vector of contagion whenever I'm not hermetically sealed.)

It's not essential I go to my mailbox every day. I could go weekly or something. (And I actually might if I didn't think it would overfill the box. Or get stolen like my package was stolen 2 days ago.) But I calculate that the risk is acceptable given the risk of not doing so, even though it is not essential or "truly necessary".

While it's far from what I want to do, I need to and am very capable of thinking about an extremely complicated risk picture.

It would be nice if there were simple black-and-white rules I could follow instead (and some may need to rely upon rules instead of confronting all the complexity of the real world), but simple rules can't truly suffice in such a wildly complicated situation.

47

p.s. to my @45
"simple rules can't truly suffice in such a wildly complicated situation"

And yet, my sense is that the average person isn't really capable of dealing with such a complicated situation, or of being trusted.

Which is extremely frustrating in a situation where we all depend upon each other do do these things they usually can't and often won't do.

But we have to fight COVID with the humanity we have, not the humanity we might wish to have.

48

@24 Griz -- I think @20 was responding to my question about missing threads, not yours about overdoing the song parodies.

49

@48 slomopomo: I realized my mistake and apologized to elmsyrup (@20).

LavaGirl had a wonderful idea: to break the global tension of the coronavirus pandemic, how about sharing jokes? I have one:

Four people are onboard a small hydroplane flying over the state of Florida: the pilot, a rabbi, a hippy, and Donald Trump.
Suddenly, the first of four engines blows. There is heavy turbulence. The pilot informs the three passengers, "It's going to be a bumpy ride, but we'll manage."
Donald Trump says, "I am doing a GREAT job!"
The wind becomes severe, hurtling 100 mph gusts. Engines two and three of four fail, and the little plane starts to nosedive.
The pilot informs the passengers that there are only three parachutes. He says he has to report the accident, takes a parachute, and jumps out.
Donald Trump claims that his adoring fans need him, and jumps out.
The rabbi turns to the hippy saying, "Go ahead, my son. I have lived a blessed life. I will be all right.'
The hippy grins at the rabbi, and says, "All's cool, man. Trump took my backpack!"

50

Curious@33~ “... COVID-19 hasn’t been detected in vaginal fluids...”

I want THAT job!

51

Griz @49: If only... sigh.

52

KBW @44: Welcome to the discussion, and thanks so much for the "fuck off". Fuck you too.

Everyone and everything can carry the virus. That's why we stay home, socially distance when we can't stay home, and wash our hands a lot.

Bottom line, you're telling us not to touch or open our mail. The sending and receiving of mail (even if it includes panties) is covered by the hand washing recommendation.

Personally, I bring in my mail, put it aside, wash my hands, and open the mail a few days later. If it happens to contain panties, well, BONUS. Sadly, no panties yet, but one can hope.

Try to follow the advice of the science people, and avoid crapping on everyone else.

53

Donny @50. I find myself wondering if Covid-19 has a flavour. Perhaps pistachio?

54

@50 Donny
I /will/ want, and /would've/ wanted that job, but certainly not now.

@52 fubar
"Personally, I bring in my mail, put it aside, wash my hands, and open the mail a few days later."

Ditto.

I have an area of my apartment devoted to everything thus waiting. Triple the current COVID times, since that's how long our more substantial data for other coronaviruses suggests.

3 days for paper, 9 days for plastic/metal. Refrigerated items get washed immediately.

Incidentally, it looks like, and I heard an expert suggest, the times are based upon how permeable the structure of materials are. I hope that's a good sign for clothing, though I rotate it too.

55

@51 fubar: I know, right? Lava loved it, though.

56

BoJo still in hospital, and MPs have decided they need £10k a month more to work from home while huge numbers of employees and self-employed people fall through the cracks and get bupkiss. The fortunate employees will get 80% of their pay while off work, or keep working from home with no money to buy ergonomic chairs. I know people who are expected to do a full eight-hour day and have nothing but a laptop and their bed. And again, they're lucky - people who work in events, entertainment, recreation but don't meet the criteria for assistance have completely lost their income and no recourse to anything but a below-poverty-level "universal credit," which has been a shambles up until now. Sorry for the rant. Shit like this is why we are all cranky and as Curious says, need to make extra effort to be kind to each other.

58

Harriet @27, the internet tells me it is possible to buy a fake pregnancy belly, which would probably be both more convenient and better match BBW's fetish than a full fat suit would.

Agony @34, she could wear a fresh pair of panties and take them off/wrap them up before she needed to do a Number Two?

Curious @36, even if she masturbates while wearing the panties, there's not going to be any fluid left by the time boyfriend gets them -- just a scent and a stain.

Curious @37, that a person would live with grandparents and be out and about at all is a great big red flag.

Curious @41, if your panties are literally touching your butthole, your jeans are too tight. The hole is tucked away in the crack. Panties touch the butt cheeks but not the butthole. And poo does not seep out over the course of the day the way vaginal fluids do. Now I'm grossed out about my own body, thanks VAG. ;)

Griz @43, thanks for the kind words. I'm well aware it beats the alternative! Although working from home does mean I need to go to the postbox, and to open post, every day. I'm putting in my faith in the immunity theory, wearing a mask whenever outside, and seeing only one human being in person. It's difficult though. Yesterday I went for my sanctioned walk, taking a picturesque route to my sanctioned shop-for-necessities, and part of the route involved a narrow footpath without enough space for two people six feet apart. What was I supposed to do when a person came the other way? I held my breath while he passed. It's come to this.

59

@56 BiDanFan
"Sorry for the rant."

Not at all! That was perfect!

"MPs have decided they need £10k a month more to work from home"

I keep hearing, and I want to hope that, after COVID politics will be transformed for the better(1). But /during/ COVID I haven't been pleased. Out criminally insane leaders can kill vast numbers of us, and we can't even march in the streets. Not that there's even the bandwidth for that, what with the media and people's emotions monopolized by COVID. They could triple their salaries without raising an eyebrow.

Speaking of "COVID-19", what a terrible name for such a consequential event in human history. Epidemiologists need better communication departments.

(1) Here's a thoughtful but overly optimistic article: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/31/how-will-the-world-emerge-from-the-coronavirus-crisis

60

@58 BiDanFan
You're right of course I should have said "DRIED bodily fluids" (though if it were in them COVID wouldn't care).

The process of using toilet paper will move poo particles away from the butthole. I think one would be surprised how few placed are wholly free of contamination; like in those hotel rooms they illuminate with a black light and discover traces of semen on every square inch of the room including the ceiling.

"I held my breath while he passed"

Yes! I do a lot of that. If my path is simply going to cross that of another, I pause well before our intersection. I judge wind direction and speed.

61

Re: Big Belly Woes, I'm not sure if I'm being sexist or Dan's being falsely gender-blind.

He read her letter and immediately jumped to a comparison with Pokemon Kid, talking about how some people (mostly men) just imprint sexually on some random fucking thing in childhood and no one knows why.

But... Is that what's going on with her? She talks about being repulsed by her belly fetish when not trying to cum, saying she and her partner would never let themselves get fat in real life.

This is not some random thing! This is the eroticization of something that women are taught to fear and hate in themselves.

The prescription may be exactly the same as for Poke Kid: the fetish probably won't go away, so just relax and safely enjoy it as fantasy.

But it seems worthwhile to acknowledge that some links (mostly men's) truly are arbitrary, and some (often women's) are a way of subverting taboos that society places between us and enjoyment of our bodies.

62

@30. fubar. I think the risks are more those attaching to the package (to the mail person, arising from the mail person, etc.) than from the panties.

@31. fubar. Well, I vote for a worthy 'second life' for fatsuits for adipose fetishists. Agreed, the first use mocking fat people in movies was unworthy.

63

@58. Bi. A-ha! Filmstars, fetishists and fantasists will be the three cohorts giving the fake belly some belly love. Go for it!

64

@56 BiDanFan: It is very similar here. I have lost paying music gigs locally since the shutdown of our community theater. I don't know what i would do without the VA and community care to see my local doctors. Currently all my appointments and PTSD sessions are conducted either online on over the phone.
Thank god for our governor, Jay Inslee! Millions of other people in other U.S. states, particularly under Republican legislation----aren't nearly so fortunate and are paying the price in spades.
I, too, try to stay healthy--the hospitals and ER are not good places to be. People are out walking their dogs, but most of (myself included) are maintaining safe distances (6 feet).

We're all in this together. We will get through it.
Sending hugs, positrons, and VW beeps.

65

@58 BiDanFan and everyone: Hang in there.
XO,
Griz

For everyone interested and actively participating, our Lucky @69 Award is coming up for grabs again. Tick...tick..tick...

66

OK, maybe there's something in the way I wrote what I wrote that led to some of the pedantic responses it has received, but I have reread it several times and to me it seems clear that I am talking about risk associated with LW's proposed plan for her panties, not the risk we take when turning on the hot water to wash our hands, or the risk we take when bending over to tie our shoes, or the risk we take when spreading peanut butter on toast. I think it's pretty ridiculous and trollish to interpret a comment at the outer extreme of what it might possibly have meant, when the context is right there, implied within.

67

KBW @66, what we mean is always 100% clear in our own heads. I don't think interpreting your words to mean exactly what you wrote, instead of what you -meant-, is ridiculous or trollish. It's clear TO YOU that you were talking about the situation at hand. It reads as if you could have been talking about every possible situation, which no one can be faulted for seeing as an overreaction.

68

And this week's Lucky @69 winner IS!!..................

69

It's griz
I bequeath the @69 to griz.

70

70 is the new 69!

71

@69 p.s.
If griz doesn't want it, I would like to make it a group award to all 8.3 billion humans on Earth (every one of us desperately needs it right now).
With the exception of Donald J. Trump; I want him to catch COVID immediately and die ASAP.

72

@69 & @71 and @70 Donnyklicious: DOUBLE WA-HOOOOO!!!!!!! This week I bequeath the Lucky @69 Award to both of you and declare it a well-deserved tie. Bask in the decadent glory found only here in Savage Love Land. :)
@69 curious2: Aww, thanks! XO
@71 curious2: You (and Donny) earned it fair and square, and I nominate your comment @71 the winner of the thread. Agreed and seconded!

73

Thongs. A thong would come into contact with one's butthole.
I haven't worn one of those uncomfortable things in years.

74

Adventures Yesterday - I had to go send a fax. While queueing up, I observed two reasonably-sized (though vastly overpriced) packages of Charmin in a nearby aisle, but the people in front of me (who were also sending a fax, but had arrived completely unprepared) took so long (the checkout person called across to me to ask if there was a problem I was waiting so long) that both packages were gone by the time I'd finished. One of them went to someone who came in only to pick up an online order. That felt a little like cheating, unless high-demand paper products can't be ordered online.

On to the one grocery chain that has not instituted Seniors Only Shopping for the first hour. The store had finally made the aisles one-way, but I kept getting trapped in a clear aisle by people who came the wrong way, then turned around and went back out. Then I got stuck for five minutes behind a woman placidly parked right at the end of an aisle waiting for a checkout line and never bothering to notice that she was blocking anyone in when she had room to move forward to let people out.

Returning home, I found a good deal less mail than usual, but what little there was included a card bearing, in large black print, PRESIDENT TRUMP'S CORONAVIRUS GUIDELINES FOR AMERICA, with CDC in smaller white print inside a blue four-sided figure. That gave rise to various thoughts, of which the saddest was the thought of how many people would take it more seriously than if the card had read CDC GUIDELINES.

Long-overdue work on our parking garage is set to start next Wednesday, and management is trying to push on us an arrangement to park in an open outdoor lot with security only during weekday business hours. Fortunately our independent owners' board member will be making arrangement with a much more secure indoor lot. Management wants the garage emptied by Monday. I suspect the timing was arranged to make it as difficult as possible to make alternate plans.

75

KBW @5: Dan "shouldn't be recommending people take any risk, no matter how seemingly small."

KBW @66: "I think it's pretty ridiculous and trollish to interpret a comment at the outer extreme of what it might possibly have meant".

A number of commenters have thoughtfully replied to your original, virtuous remarks, and you've responded with rudeness, defensiveness, and now back-pedalling. You might want to think on that.

76

Harriet @62: Regarding the contamination and cross-contamination of mail: it's a virus, not a Novichok nerve agent. Everyone has to wash their hands before touching anyone's face.

Curious & Donny @69 @70 & @71: Congrats on the Lucky @69 Award. Such community spirit!

BDF @73: I Googled "Coronavirus on thongs" and encountered this:

https://www.metrotimes.com/news-hits/archives/2020/04/09/battle-creek-man-wears-thong-as-coronavirus-mask-assaults-man-who-mocked-him

I just had to share.

77

@76 fubar
I can't get over how incongruous assaulting a stranger is with trying to be safe by wearing a mask.

78

19 / elmsyrup: "I am so sick of people who are ashamed of their attraction to fat folks."

@31 / fubar: "BBW didn't get into why the rest of her brain HATES her kink. My gut feeling (pun intended) is that it's related to revulsion and fear around obesity."

As someone with a belly stuffing fetish, a belly stuffing fetish is /NOT/ necessarily a fat fetish. It sometimes overlaps, but not always. It might be that LW, with the signoff BBW, is into fat folks as well. But even if she is, that's not necessarily the source of shame.

Fat tends is spread all over: arm fat, thigh fat, face fat, butt fat, gut fat, etc. Whereas belly stuffing is marked distension of the belly in particular. It's distinct from feederism, where the goal is to see weight gain, though some are into both. Other fetishists (like me) prefer relatively thin belly stuffers, since the distension is more noticeable / dramatic on a thin person than on a fat person.

The shame one feels for a belly stuffing fetish isn't necessarily "Ew, I like gross unconventionally attractive stuff." It's often shame for getting off to someone else's suffering.

For me, the belly stuffing fetish is rather sadistic. Belly stuffers are often clearly pained or nauseated by force-feeding themselves. They some become sick, sometimes unplanned and unwanted, during sessions. (Some belly fetishists are also emetophiles.)

79

A tip for BBW to consider

I'm a belly-stuffing fetishist and also a klismophile. I consider my klismophilia to be related to my belly stuffing fetish (since enemas can cause a similar belly distension). Enemas can sometimes be a way to explore a belly-distension fetish in a way that has a relatively low impact on health overall (relative to massive force-feeding sessions). Provided you do sufficient research and are careful to make sure to do it in a safe manner (isotonic and isothermic solution is absolutely vital), it's a possibility.

80

XiaoGui17 @78: Presumably, your partners are willing, and getting off on being stuffed. That's the sadist's get out of jail free card, in my book.

81

Xiao @78-@79, thanks for sharing this insider information.

82

@78 & @79 XiaoGui17, @80 fubar, and @81 BiDanFan: For some reason, I keep envisioning a scene on The Simpsons where Homer is being force fed an endless ton of doughnuts via assembly line by the Devil, himself.

83

I nominate Homer J. Simpson King of the Willingly Belly Stuffed (at least, in prime time animation. Fred Flintstone doesn't hold a candle).
Homer: "MMMMMmmmmmmmm....doughnuts.......mm-chomp-mm-chomp--mm-chomp..."

84

@82 & @83: I know we are living in bizarre and horridly stressful times. I was only trying for a little belly humor.

Dan the Man and everybody: I have commented in Slog and some people who I have been in agreement with previously have been hotly accusing, defensive, or outright irate, lately. It is not my intent.
Thinking of everyone this Easter, those observing the holiday.
Big hugs, positrons, and VW beeps.
XO,
Griz

85

LW1, why are you beating yourself up about your fantasies. I’d start there. Give yourself a break and don’t judge what your mind throws up during erotic self play.
You say you don’t want to act out this kink in real life, then give yourself permission to indulge it thru your fantasies.

86

Hating oneself for these sorts of fantasies LW, seems overkill to me. Have you seen other porn? Maybe if you suspend judgement on your fantasy content, during self pleasuring, things might change in your real world sex.

87

Griz @84: Don't let them get you down. Happy Easter to you too!

88

@87 fubar: XO Big hugs, positrons, and VW beeps!