@107 fubar: Many thanks. I dunno---the parodies just seem to keep on coming, lately. Do you think I've found my calling, provided I don't get my ass sued?

@102: Um, thank you, Hunter (?). I'm a bit wary that you're setting me up for some swipe; I know you dislike me, so I'm looking for the snark in your comment, but not finding it, I choose to take your comment at face value and appreciate your wishes for good sex during the shelter-in-place times. Unfortunately, not only am I not fluid bonded with anyone, but I'm 100% celibate these days, 2 of my fwbs having petered out (pun not intended), and the other having moved 3,000 miles away. I have been sheltering-in-place with my younger daughter, in a very tiny apartment in which we share my bed and have zero privacy, so I haven't even been able to masturbate. I'm currently out of state, at my father's deathbed. I'm in my parents' house, sharing a bedroom, if not the actual bed, with my sibling, so again, no chance to even wank a bit to take the edge off.

Hopefully, you're in better shape, sexually, than I am (hopefully, everyone reading these comments is in better shape, sexually, than I currently am) and I am truly grateful that you have overcome your case of Covid-19. I have now lost two friends--neither yet 55 years old--to it, and my brother-in-law has a cousin, who, along with the cousin's wife, and their adult child all have it and it doesn't look good for either of the adults. It's a terrifying, deadly disease, and I'm glad you pulled through. Please celebrate by getting laid . . . as soon as it's safe to socially un-distance again.

Dadddy @100, what's the controversy? I see universal agreement that he needs to leave his wife, and do it kindly. Is the controversy over whether he's an asshole? Contrary to what ITS said in his follow-up, I don't actually see any commenters calling him an asshole, other than Slomo @10, in a post that is largely sympathetic. A few commenters said they found him unlikeable. Plenty of people would find a woman who described her husband's body as repulsive unlikeable. I don't see anyone characterising ITS as malicious. The worst that's being said about him is that he's shallow, which he himself said. Regardless, no one is saying he needs to get over his fatphobia and stay with her. The only controversy is the tangential debate between me and Curious over whether he initially fancied her, which makes no difference to his current dilemma. And you shouldn't feel guilty for dating these divorceés; surely the lovely men they left are having just as much fun on their second go-rounds, with women who've figured out what they want, as you are?

Nocute @110, I'm sorry to read you have no outlet in this extremely challenging time. I hope that at some point, you can convince your sibling to take a socially sanctioned walk to the store, put some music on and get some release!

Nicely done, Griz!

Sorry, Dadddy, re-skimming it does seem a few commenters did say that he should try to establish a sexual connection with his wife. I can't imagine you would agree with that view.

I don’t hate you LarryStone. I was referring to the words CMD used, they came across from their bitch self. Nasty. I jumped on the thread to relax and there was CMD picking away. defining me.
My posts are directed usually at the LW, in response to what they say in their questions to Dan. Not sure I respond to please or pass some test with others here. Up to the LW if my point of view is of use to them.
Some of these people who write in are in twisted knots, like ITS here. How many years has he lived this lie.. and told lies to his wife to cover his mistake in marrying a woman he didn’t desire. We’re not here having tea and scones, and I know I try to keep my empathy going thru most of my comments.

The truth is I am a grandmother, and if my delivery and my life experience upsets some, then ignore me.

I’ve been an outsider in this group from day one, Larry, and been told clearly many times my ideas and viewpoints are not valid. What is precious about these threads for me, and I love and thank Dan for them, is I get a voice.

@Dadddy@100: I have nothing but sympathy for people who realize at some point in a marriage, that they're not sexually compatible; I am particularly sympathetic to those who no longer find their partner sexually attractive. Indeed, I fit the profile of one of those "late bloomers who divorced perfectly lovely men for this exact reason. Hell, I'm texting a woman right now who left her husband due to a lack of spark. These aren't malicious people."

I don't dislike the lw because he is not sexually attracted to his wife, and I don't even dislike him because his main objection to her seems to be the way she looks, even though he says nothing in his original letter or the follow up that suggests her body has changed significantly since they married.

Generally when I dislike someone's epistolary-based persona here, I'm reacting to the letter's tone. The ways a person expresses him/herself often are revelatory, or at least they are all I have to go on.

In this case, the letter writer is full of scorn and contempt for his wife, even though he makes the standard disclaimer that "My wife is the sweetest, most thoughtful person I’ve ever met, I love spending time with her," and wallowing in self-pity. When he says, "Like an idiot I believed it’s what’s on the inside that matters," I rolled my eyes. Because that's hardly a fringe position, or one only enjoined on someone because of a repressive religious upbringing--it's a standard attitude, and one that doesn't allow for sexual attraction and finding one's partner not repulsive. I have been love with several men, none of whom were particularly conventionally attractive. Although I did love them for what was "on the inside," I was also attracted to them sexually, because there's a world of difference between not being conventionally handsome and being repulsive.

This lw comes off as self-absorbed (to an extent, all letter writers are self-absorbed, because they're writing about their own problems, but he seems more self-absorbed than lots of others). His characterization of him "helping out with laundry" was off-putting to me, because it suggests he views doing laundry as her "job" which he kindly helps her with, not as something they do jointly because it needs to be done and the need for clean clothes is an equal one.

He's "bummed" out looking at her clothes; he gets "extremely depressed" looking at their old photos. The sight of her naked body gives him "an anxiety attack." These phrases seem hyperbolic, and from a tonal perspective, they shift all the responsibility for this marriage's success or failure on the wife--on something that she cannot change (she's short, in addition to being heavy) and which he was well aware of when they met.

Perhaps the part that bugs me the most is that he says he's getting "increasingly resentful" at his wife for not having the body type he desires. Resentment, as I understand it, is a response to actions either taken or not (person x resents that they always have to be the one to take out the garbage, even if person t creates most of the mess, person e resents the accolades that w gets for doing the exact same thing p does without ever getting praised); to resent someone whom he never says a negative word about, aside from her looks, seems misplaced. The implication is that it is insulting for a good-looking man (or at least one who is "tall and slim") to be forced to be married to a short, heavy woman; he deserves better than that and somehow, she's keeping him from what should be rightfully his. THAT wording is what really did me in.

Dude, you resent being married to your wife? Divorce her! But no: because that would make him lose his "good husband" card. And he doesn't want to be seen as that shallow guy who divorced his wife because she was fat. Sorry, but that's exactly what he has just spent a letter confessing that he is. Maybe he should own his preferences.

I suggest he not try to retain his "good husband" or even just "husband" status, and aim for being a decent person who cuts this woman free to find someone who appreciates her, as he gives himself permission to find someone to whom he is truly attracted. So he should end this marriage, as graciously and gracefully as possible (don't do or say things that make it clear he is disgusted by her); he can say, honestly, that despite his chronological age, he married too young, before having had enough dating experience; he can say that he feels they've grown apart. If the wife has a shred of intelligence, she'll know what those clichés mean, but it's the best one can do.

Ms Fan@112 - Perhaps a distinction without a difference, but the R word [your wife’s body isn’t repulsive] came from Mr Savage. For good or ill, LW tried to centre his own response to her appearance, and sugar-coating his bitter pill might have led to a lot of responses on Rekindling the Flame.

Ms Cute - I sincerely wish I could offer better consolation than the reflection that the Democratic party leaders must have massive quantities of understanding because, in securing the nomination for Mr Biden, they didn't find it necessary to use more than half.

(Astute members of the assembled company may have recognized the parody of [Ms Cute's favourite] Henry Tilney's joke to his sister and Catherine Morland about the intelligence of women.)

@100 a moment of sanity amidst the man-hating!! thank you for the refreshment. we now return to our regularly scheduled programming of virtue signaling, poly-superiority & the hatred of heterosexual men.

Lava @115: "My posts are directed usually at the LW".

Usually, perhaps. But you haven't hesitated to pick on, define, and insult other commenters. A recent example was your recent insistence that DD/lg is incest adjacent because the word "Daddy" gets used. You didn't apologize after you were soundly debunked (the word "baby" gets a pass) but rather skulked off until the upset you created had blown over.

CMD apologized (and no, did not "double back"), so please knock it off with the name calling. The "climate we are all in" applies to everyone, not just you.

Griz @108: You may indeed have found your calling. Now you need to record your work and become Instagram famous! I doubt you'll get sued. Parody is generally considered "fair use" when it comes to copyright.

I thought Dan was a little harsh too- the LW believed some indoctrination and acted accordingly. But he doesn't come across as too sympathetic. Like, indoctrination or not, he was a grown man choosing to enter a monogamous marriage with a woman who he did not find attractive - and now, lo and behold, he finds himself in a monogamous marriage with a woman who he does not find attractive. Indoctrination sucks and destroys people's lives- Sad situation all around.

But it's something in the tone: he does seem to linger resentfully on the fact that he does not find her attractive- the details about seeing her naked, not liking her clothes, comparing her to her friends and family, her youthful pictures. I can see how someone in that situation would let these things pile up until they become spiteful but it does feel like he's blaming her for being who she has always been, including when he married her, rather than directing those feelings at either his own foolishness or at the indoctrination itself.

Then he ends it by asking how he can tell the wife about his feelings (obviously he should not do that) and come out of it a good husband (impossible regardless of how unfortunate) so it sort of stinks of him still not taking responsibility for his actions. Like, he wants a solution that is impossible so that he doesn't have to face the music. The truth is, you can't. You entered a monogamous marriage with a woman you do not find attractive. That action has consequences (namely that you are in a monogamous marriage with a woman you do not find attractive) and you have to face them, unfortunately, and there's no way out of it, neither by changing who she is nor by who you are. You are going to have to leave, and yes, that is going to suck, and yes it will probably make other people think you are a shallow jerk or a bad husband, and no you aren't either of those things if you handle it in a way that is fair/kind to your wife and do not put the blame on her.

I'd say the other reason Dan is not giving the same advice as he does with people who are exploring their sexuality early on is because this woman, based on the account in the letter, seems to be an enthusiastic sex partner who having satisfying sex with a man she finds attractive. And the man is not asking for a new or different kind of sex life- not like he's discovered he needs a kink or that his sex drive is higher than hers or he's bi or something- he's just admitting something that has always been true: he does not find her attractive.

But I agree that I don't think the overly harsh tone is helpful but c'mon dude, accept some responsibility.

NoCute I'm sorry, dealing with much the same on this end, never seems to stop, life just keeps coming.

Lava- I apologized for alluding to you in words I should have been avoided while describing to the tone in Dan’s advice to ITS. I own it and don’t dismiss it as, “if you don’t like it don’t read it” or “not sure I respond to please.”

Your comments aren’t directed exclusively at letter writers “in twisted knots.” You mentioned being an outsider from day one, but did you ever wonder what you do that makes you feel this way?
One can recall lecturing submissive female commenters that their preference betrays 60’s feminism, lashing at parents for having open relationships, defending an exceptionally abusive late 30’s commenter as a “confused young man asking questions to be a better man,” scolding others for play scenarios/dynamics that don’t appeal to you, and so on.

You certainly have good and thoughtful advice as well, yet sometimes come across as shooting from the hip while in auto mode without bothering looking back.

@103 I just have to say this is horrible advice.

I can't imagine anything worse than being in a position in which a partner tells me I need to work at being attractive to him to keep his sex drive up and then also have him "support" me in diet and exercise plans that I did not enter into on my own. THis is not a situation in which a healthy marriage needs a little spice that dolling up from time to time can help nor one in which one person has fallen into a bit of a rut and needs some help to not let themselves go. THis is a dude who has no sexual interest in his wife at all, has a panic attack looking at her naked body, and has NEVER found her attractive.

That is his fault, as sad and unfortunate and unintentional as that may be. It is not her fault. She married a man she finds sexually desirable under the false pretense that he likewise found her sexually attractive. There is no way she can fix that, nor is there any way he should ask her too.

I understand how this can happen to a sex-starved young man who was a victim of religious fundamentalism and I'm really sorry about it, but the solution to his predicament is for him to live a more honest life now that he's not under that indoctrination. The solution is not to try to make the wife do some transformation / lifestyle change to become a person she's never been nor expressed interest in becoming. The solution is, now that he's more honest about who he is and what he wants, to end the sham marriage.

EL- welcome back.

EmmaLiz, how I've missed your trenchant analysis, wisdom, compassion, honesty, and clear writing! It's good to see you again (I get worried now when a regular is absent--my thoughts turn to Covid-19. I'm concerned about Calliope Muse for the same reason).

I hope things go as smoothly as possible for you and whoever you're caring for.

@BiDanFan: Thanks for all your good wishes; they mean a lot!

Fubar @ 121-2
Thanks. As for copyright infringement, I think that only kicks in if you use it for commercial reasons. Posting it on youtube as "fun" not likely to trigger a law suit. Maybe a warning to remove it but not beyond.

nocute- I join the well wishers, hope you can find some privacy in the situation you're currently in. My elderly parent is in a nursing home far away, very fortunately under very good care. As for Calli, she must be in the midst of all this and I hope she's well.

EmmaLiz @123: I too thought that ITS does not appear to accept responsibility, but the update about getting himself into therapy is a step in that direction.

CMD @128: I rather imagined Griz becoming the next Weird Al :)

@110 nocutename: I am sorry to learn of your lack of privacy situation, and about your father in these highly stressful times. Sending big cyber hugs, positrons (as my mother would call them), and VW beeps from my Love Beetle and me, and hope all gets better.
@113 BiDanFan: Many thanks. Now if I could market this withot any ugly ensuing legal hassles....fubar @122 feels I could on Instagram. What are your thoughts and ideas?
@122 fubar: Now to hopefully get on Instagram, and from there....?
@128 CMDwannabe: (re; fubar, @121-@122); Copyright infringement has been a big concern for me. Is there a way I can still pursue musical parodies without harsh ensuing legal issues? How do Weird Al Yankovic and Randy Rainbow do it?
Sending well wishes to you and everyone for your family situation, too. That while you have a parent in assisted care, the healthcare is wonderful. That must be a comfort to you, although you are far away. I hope all is well for you, Calli, and your family. Cyber hugs, positrons, and VW beeps from my beloved Love Beetle and me.

@130 fubar: I'd LOVE it! :)

EmmaLiz!
I've missed you these months, welcome back!

Re: Calli
I guess given where she's from Calli might have COVID by now, but that's not what I've been concerned about; I'm concerned that because of COVID the whole world is having difficulty coping, and this on top of very difficult circumstances she was already facing before this all began.

Aunt Zelda- I'm not sure about current copyright regulations, but have posted some videos in the past that contained music or images done by others and never had a problem. In one case I contacted the US distributer of a German band, asking for permission to use couple minutes edited from a 10-minute or so piece and never heard back. I took it as a yes and went ahead.

Few years ago, after consulting with a copyright lawyer, I had a 30-second animated business logo dancing to a tune of an instrumental segment taken from a song by a US-based artist. I never had a problem, but the logo also appeared on someone else's site I did work for and they were contacted to remove it or mute that short segment which we did.

Not sure what route you want to take with this project, but once you figure it out see if you can get a short talk with a lawyer. I had this done for free with a friend of a friend whom I offered my services in return. Hope you can pull this one together, looking forward see/hear it on my computer.

@106: Excellent parody, auntie grizelda. You are really hitting your stride.

@125 EmmaLiz: Welcome back! You have been much missed. I hope all is well your way in these uncertain, stressful times. Like nocutename @127, I too, was concerned after not reading posted comments of yours for a while.
@134 CMDwannabe: Thank you for helpful advice in my musical parody pursuits. I have some recording equipment, keyboards, my iMac, piano and wind instruments in my small studio, but I live in an apartment building, and might have to pay someone to record it. As for right now, my borrowing off others' songs and music--so to speak--is practice for my next long term project for full orchestration and SATB song lyrics---a musical comedy.
@135 nocutename: Thinking up innovative new song lyrics has proven to be quite fun. This latest one is either my best yet or in a close tie with It's Time To Remove Donald Trump (sung to The Rolling Stones' You Can't Always Get What You Want).

How about a vote before Dan the Man and among the SL community interested, and let the majority decide: which song parody would you like to hear on a radio:
1. It's Time to Remove Donald Trump (sung to You Can't Always Get What You Want, by The Rolling Stones c.1969), or
2. Fighting Off TRUMPVID-19 (sung to Stuck in the Middle With You, by Stealers Wheel c.1972)?

@136: Film buffs can also hear You Can't Always Get What You Want from the 1983 film, The Big Chill, and Stuck in the Middle With You was used in the 1992 film, Reservoir Dogs.

Griz @136: Nothing could beat removing Donald Trump.

@138 fubar: I'm inclined to agree---at this point in world history, the sooner we remove Donald Trump and its Evil Empire from the White House, the better. Personally, I'd love to see Trumpty Dumpty kicking and screaming while being hauled off in a straitjacket on a gurney to a cruise ship along with all its former cabinet members, fixers, lawyers, lobbyists, SCOTUS appointees, yes-men, Russian hackers, trophy bimbos and heirs, and shipped off to exile. And...somebody licked all the doorknobs. Bummer! :)
Thank you for initiating the voting process. :)

Okay, fubar gets the votes rolling with one initial best of two song parodies nomination for
1. It's Time to Remove Donald Trump 1
2. Fighting Off TRUMPVID-19 0

Both song parodies are also fun to dance to.

Why the nastiness, Hunter? Did your Sunday morning 'date' go off the rails?

@141 fubar: Awwww...Hunter's just pissed that Wal*Mart's out of Kool Aid, Cocoa Puffs, and toilet paper. And that he didn't land on the Lucky @69.

Where is LavaGirl?

Griz @143: LavaGirl got called out. She'll skulk for a while, and be back as if nothing happened, without addressing or apologizing for the upset she caused. Then she'll complain that she's an outsider. That's her style. Don't mention it though, because she's asserting immunity "in these difficult times".

"Please wait... and remember to be decent to everyone all of the time." Too late!

@144 fubar, Dan, and everyone: sigh These are indeed, very stressful times for many of us. I hope I'm really not making things worse with sharing jokes, music, and movies. I was just hoping to lighten the mood.
I need music, my EMV (Emotional Support Volkswagen), cats, and all the wonderful people in my life more than ever before, now.

You fuck off too fubar. Called out? For having opinions many of you don’t like. Now my style doesn’t suit.. tough titty. Spoke my truth about too many sacred cows and the push is back on to get me gone. That hasn’t changed in the yrs. I’ve been here. So forgive me if I don’t take much notice of what some of you say.
Hi Grizelda, I’m good. Beautiful autumn day here, hope you’re coping ok. Hugs. To. You.

I am a sixty eight and a half yr old woman, fubar, from
Australia, I don’t sulk and I don’t appreciate being patronised.

I left the thread because I feared that, like CMD, and maybe others after him.. they do like a bit of all jump on around here... my bitch self would come to the fore. She’s not someone I like to let loose too often. Fucking tempted this time.

And what would you know, fubar, of my experience here over the last so many years, you’ve been here five minutes. An outsider dares to say boo, and given I’m old and what would I know maybe best like I said to ignore me. Because until Dan orders me gone, I’m staying. So all the put downs and mean girl ways used, only intensifies my resolve. Fucking contrary Aussie.

Nocute @118: "Dude, you resent being married to your wife? Divorce her! But no: because that would make him lose his "good husband" card. And he doesn't want to be seen as that shallow guy who divorced his wife because she was fat. Sorry, but that's exactly what he has just spent a letter confessing that he is. Maybe he should own his preferences." Perfectly said as always. He seems to have no agency in all of this, like I said, he helplessly slept with a woman he wasn't attracted to, helplessly married her, and now he helplessly can't leave. End the pity party already. EmmaLiz, welcome back to you too!

Griz @131, it's my understanding that parody is allowed under copyright law.

Lava @149, we've seen a LOT of your bitch self this week. CMD apologised but I have to chuckle, since you're ironically proving his characterisation of you as a scolding grandmother accurate.

@147 LavaGirl: I am glad to hear that all is well your way, and it is a beautiful autumn in Australia. Hopefully no more wildfires! Hugs, positrons, and VW beeps right back. :)
@151 BiDanFan: Thank you and fubar both for the reassurance. I feel like i may be onto something with my recent song parodies. :)

Griz had another movie night---tonight's theme was in need of "dynamic duos"--Newman and Redford, and Sarandon and Davis (and Brad Pitt!): The Sting (1973) and Thelma & Louise (1991).
May spring and fall, wherever you are, be beautiful. Griz is still checking on automotive maintenance for her beloved EMV (Love Beetle), but looking forward to little top down jaunts if not road trips this year. We hope to still make one fall trip to the San Juans if we get the all clear from Governor Jay Inslee.
Hugs, positrons, and VW beeps to all. :)

Fubar @141: Bwahahahaha! Thank you for that, you win the comedy gold star of this week's thread.

Lava @147: "You fuck off too fubar." Ooooh. Well I never!
Lava @148: "I don’t sulk". I wrote skulk. And you do.
Lava @149: "I left the thread because..." QED.
Lava @150: "And what would you know, fubar, of my experience here over the last so many years, you’ve been here five minutes."

Ummm. I've bee here since 2010. You've been here since 2014. You have me utterly trounced in terms of sheer volume of posts, but that's partly because it takes you several attempts to make your point.

As CMD said, you certainly have good and thoughtful advice, but THIS... the scolding and the verbal abuse directed at other commenters who object... is bullshit. Throw a fit if you like. I'm done with it. You're notably not hanging around this advice column commentariat to get advice.

Ms Grizelda - If Mr Biden drops out, I'll probably produce an anti-Trump parody of 99 Luftballons.

Mizz Lizz - Mr Savage struck me as strict-but-reasonable on a second reading. He walked it back a little in the round-up. I'd welcome you back with a quotation, but I wouldn't know the right author to select.

@103

Trying to mold someone into something you're attracted to seems disgusting to me, even if done by pretending to be supportive. Besides, she's only "heavy" by LW's account, she isn't necessarily OVERweight, just not to LW's preferences. When short people have boobs and ass they tend to look heavy even if they're a healthy weight. Or maybe she IS overweight, but as she's always been, it's clearly something she's comfortable with (or else she'd take it upon herself to start a workout plan and better diet).

Bad situations or getting bitter aren't the only possibilities. She doesn't need LW to protect her from the dating pool. As Dan said, there are people that are attracted to her body type, and people that don't care about bodies at all. (Personally, as I've gotten older, body type and age have mattered less and less. I would not hesitate to date an old, dumpy, short, heavy woman if our personalities were compatible.) And there's also the possibility that she'll want to just be single! Even that would be better than having a husband that is secretly disgusted by her.

Oh, and there's also the fact that it might not even work, she might spend years working out and eating differently and LW still won't be attracted to her. I mean, LW is attracted to everyone else at this point, and I find it hard to believe that everyone else is fitter, taller, younger, and less dumpy than this lady. LW has wasted enough of her life and his already.

Blazn @158: There's a lot written about how extremely difficult it is to maintain weight loss. It LW's wife is not unhappy with her weight, then your opening remark @157 is bang on. If she is unhappy, she'd still be better off finding someone that loves her curves and can help her feel good about them.

@141 fubar: I agree and second BiDanFan's Bwahahahahahahaha (re@154).
I share Bi's nominating you as winner of the thread. That was sheer comedic brilliance. :)
@156 vennominon: I can't wait to hear it! :)

BDF @154, Griz @160: Thank you very much. I'm here all week. Try the veal!

@161 fubar: Remember what DonnyKlicious had advised, in honor of National Sex Week, in his comment @63: Don't let your meat loaf. :)

Griz @162: Bwahahaha! You and Fubar are cheering me up this week!

No one in my life has Covid thank god. Is Calli in NYC or thereabouts? It's not really here in my community. At least not yet. But the disruption means my nephew back in the house from his first year in college with dorms closed and now my father-in-law is ill of other reasons and needs pretty regular help since we are nervous to allow health care workers near him and can't fly him home during this crisis and my new project lost its funding, just months after I thought I'd completed the eldercare extended family part of my life w/my grandma's death last summer and my work had started to pick up again. It makes me sound selfish but I am to a certain extent so what this shit sucks.

So as a distraction, I want to step in the stirred shit too. CMD is usually very generous and thoughtful, usually moreso than most of our posts deserve, and he said a nasty thing about Lava then apologized. As far as nastiness online goes, it was not that nasty, and knowing CMD, it probably was meant more as a joke that landed wrong. And I think to any observer, Lava's response was disproportionate to the offense, though there is no way to measure these things since they look different inside and outside. Also it's fun sometimes to get worked and go on about it, I find it's a good way to spend pent up energy. Why not.

Hey curious weren't you going to share a story of the supernatural? Is it too personal to share here?

@164 EmmaLiz
"this shit sucks"

It does indeed.

"Covid...It's not really here in my community"

Amazing. Maybe your community is small? (Since given that early studies show 15% to 20% of Americans have it, it's pretty much everywhere else by now.)

@165 EmmaLiz
Yes, I promised to at least a half-year ago. At which time I made notes to build upon. Maybe I can get it together to do so! Though I'm not finding it particularly easy to motivate myself to do anything, and am pretty busy with all the handwashing and disinfecting.

Oh, I don't consider it particularly personal.

(Thankfully, because if I did I might still be too pissed at cockyballup for idiot-shitting on something so extremely personal I wrote days ago that I asked that no one do that; and then, as usual, the asshole didn't have the decency to apologize.)

My bad for starting all this, Lava does have a point as regardless of intention I touched on an important issue I should have avoided.
All involved had the opportunity to present their cases, lets move on.

Curious, we've tested almost 1,000 people in my county and have had 11 positive cases, all the rest negative, no deaths at all, only one case of a person being hospitalized for it, and this common in most rural counties in this region. We don't know the details on all those 11 positives, but of the ones I know about, they are seniors living in eldercare facilities and a couple who was recently returned from "out of town". I'm sure there are more positive people than we know about especially since some people are asymptomatic or cannot access tests. And I'm not making some obnoxious case for opening up everything again or that it's a hoax or anything so stupid as that, but it's simply true that it does not effect every place the same as it does dense urban areas or areas with a lot of nursing facilities or prisons or heavily traveled public transport or high numbers of people with inadequate health care etc. I just meant that in my own family and community, the repercussions of this crisis are the secondary effects- we are unlikely to catch it from our trips to the grocery store or pharmacy etc though it means we must pick up the burden from protecting my elderly and currently ill in-law rather than letting home health come in since health care workers who specialize in elder care and move about the surrounding counties are the most likely way anyone in my area would be exposed to it.

Happy to hear personal or impersonal supernatural stories, especially from folks who are otherwise skeptics, whenever you feel like sharing. I keep thinking to make a collection of ghost encounters and prior birth memories from my own family/friends but, like you, I don't know if I'll ever get it together enough to do so and yes lots of probs with motivation here and now.

@168 EmmaLiz
"1,000 people in my county and have had 11 positive cases, all the rest negative"

I'm so happy to hear that!

Given how extremely contagious COVID is, I would have expected more. I hope it's handled such that there aren't more.

Perhaps my concern WRT how many rural cases there are has been inflamed by newsworthy cases of COVID going wild in some meat-packing plants (South Dakota and Colorado spring to mind) and prisons (such as in Colorado where an acquaintance is a prison guard).

Yes, density is a key factor (both in the examples above and NYC). With so much density and such a high percentage of cases here, and my risk profile, I'm trying to avoid breading inside air anywhere but home.

@169: WA-HOOOOOOO!!!!!! Congrats to curious2 for scoring this week's Double Whammy Award (Lucky @69 plus Big Hunsky @100 = @169). During National Sex Week, bask in this highly envied and glorious Savage Love decadence. :)

@163 BiDanFan: Good, I'm glad that I'm aptly doing my job. My shared jokes, musical parodies, website, composed music (mp3s, YouTube, iTunes, etc.), and favorite movies have always been intended to do exactly that. Even if all I'm doing is streaming, music is essential for me, although my little VW Beetle, instrument, tech equipment and I are just little specks in this ever-shrinking universe. Big cyber hugs, positrons, and VW beeps! :)

@167 you don't need to feel bad at all. lava is one of the meanest posters on here. she constantly attacks people, and gets away with it because she has support from her bullying brigade. you just gave her some medicine she deserved.

NoCute, I loved how you wrote about tone and ITS letter, thanks for sharing. Can you take a long shower maybe with a detachable shower head? Or an afternoon "nap"? I'm so sorry to hear about your father. My closest experience was my stepmom's fairly recent death. Try to treasure any time you have with him and accept it will hurt and you'll find a way to feel it and survive, please be patient with yourself and laugh at yourself and treasure the others in your life as well as your memories and how your father will live on inside of you.

Lava, calling names and swearing at and criticizing other posters isn't a style, it's disrespectful. This thread is concerning since I find your posts entertaining. Except when you start defending disrespectful behavior. I hope you can calm down and stay healthy, and laugh off your emotions or mistakes without denying them, because I like you. Disrespectful humor isn't really humor if someone doesn't feel it's funny, right? You know how it sounds when someone says it was just a joke and others' fault for not getting it, it sounds like they don't get it. I feel like CMD is also concerned about your health and hopes they didn't knock you off balance either. He? She? I don't remember which was polite for CMD. You do not have a bad self, you just have the urge to express your emotions in fruitless or even harmful and self defeating ways sometimes like all of us flawed humans. I hope you calm down and start to feel in control and speak your truth kindly. We all have to preserve our sanity.

I got some bubble wrap in the mail, it helps.

Sweet to see EmmaLiz again and hoping to see Ricardo again.

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