Seriously, Dan the Man, fubar, nocutename, and everyone--my bust! Especially after Dan was so kind to email me a reminder of his Podcast! I had forgotten that it was aired today and am sorry to have missed it. Please let me know when the next SL Podcast is. I want to be able to tune in and of possible, be in on Qs and As.

Thanks Grizelda. Beach babes it is.

One think which is clear about Dan, KAF notwithstanding, is that he doesn’t hide behind Patriarchal assumptions towards women.

slip. Think/ Thing.
Get well soon, Dan. We LoVe YoU 💗

Curious @92, it's true Mrs Fox has little to no competition. There was also gutsgutslifelife, another Sports-man-like character who seems to have disappeared. But the year is young and anyone else will have a big hurdle to surmount if they want to be more fantastic than Fox!

Fichu @93, they're at university and she had her eye on him for more than a year. That means they are at minimum 19. But I wouldn't think much older. Indeed, guys that age just want to get laid. Some want to get laid ethically, some unethically, and many 19-year-olds aren't even aware there is a difference, let alone what that difference is. I agree in dating/mating, PLAY is going to encounter some spinners of pretty words who ghost her after they get what they want. This can be a humiliating experience. I would add to your good advice: If a guy seduces you and ghosts you after getting into your pants, that says everything about him and nothing about you. You have been used but you have not been devalued. Everyone ends up kissing a few frogs. Experience can make you rich, then they'll be after you. (That's a reference to Madonna's Material Girl, for the GenZ'ers out there.)

Cocky @97, I would argue that ethical non-monogamy is too hard for 19-year-olds to attempt. This is varsity level relationshipping and PLAY seems a severe rookie.
Also, Mr PLAY isn't jealous of her -flirting- with other guys. There is no indication that PLAY is flirting with other guys. He is "insanely" jealous of her even being in the presence of other guys. This is a huge red flag that does merit spreading the word.
And on whether warning one's friends amounts to cock blocking, I will share the story of how a friend -- everyone involved in their 30s/40s -- once approached me with a coy look and said, "BDF, you used to date 'Jason', didn't you?" I looked at her and immediately responded, "RUN!!!" I told her about how Jason was the worst person I'd ever dated, all we did was argue, six weeks of dating was five too many, etc. Wouldn't you know she ignored me completely, dated him for a year, before finally breaking things off and telling me, "BDF, you were so right." If this guy is this charming PLAY's words are likely to fall on similarly deaf ears, since many of us are determined to only learn things the hard way.

Phi @98, good point that TF may interpret NBFCS's daily calls as an invitation to rehash these relationships. Still though, NFBCS may only be calling to check on friend, TF is the one who is bringing up these relationships and as such inviting the other party to offer her thoughts.
I'm not suggesting NBFCS tell TF she was responsible for her exes' cheating! Wow. I'm suggesting that NBFCS tell TF, "You were really not nice to those guys. I saw quite a few times when you made fun of James' thinning hair and Brian's stutter, you know they were sensitive about those things. If you want to have good relationships, it has to go both ways -- you have to be nicer to people." And I agree that if she doesn't respect men, she shouldn't get involved with them in the first place. Bringing this up would give TF an opportunity to, one, see what she's been doing -- like Curious, she may not even be aware of it -- and two, try to figure out where it came from. Perhaps she grew up in a family where this kind of "banter" was acceptable, or perhaps a past lover verbally abused her and left her scarred and determined to take the upper hand in future by putting partners in their place before they got the chance. These are questions TF needs to ask herself, but she won't ask unless someone points out the issue.
I reckon the friends have been setting a good example by not verbally abusing their own partners. This is clearly insufficient for TF to realise she shouldn't do that either.

Fubar @99, don't get me started on that situation. It's crazy over here. I'm avoiding social media. Ugh. :(

@108 cont; maybe sometimes Dan does, hide behind Patriarchal assumptions. But he’s willing to listen and change.

Phi @98, tl;dr, I agree completely that telling TF "you drove your exes to cheat on you" would be just as mean as anything she said to them. I was not envisioning "criticism" along those lines at all and I now see where you were coming from.

BiDanFan @112: But, but, but... they felt eeeeee-masculated. Perhaps cheating was the only cure? I am, of course, attempting to be sardonic, but who knows? How does one end up with two emasculated cheating marital partners in a row?

Cool to hear Dan' been working on a new book! And sorry to hear he's still been laid up with something. Both explain his unusually terse responses lately.

And thank you everyone for the very kind words for this rookie! Admittedly the competition hasn't exactly been stiff, as new folks seem to show up for a comment or two, usually to drop a troll-y statement or otherwise make a comment that doesn't add anything to the conversation, only to never be heard from again. I have very much enjoyed my last few weeks of jumping into the SL fray, and my only regret is that I didn't do it 2.5 years ago!

BDF @110 - I was wondering if NBFCS's hurtful comments to her partners might be a behavior that stems from her family of origin ("banter" like you said). She may think she's playfully teasing/razzing these guys, but doesn't know when to stop or doesn't realize when it deeply bothers others. And it sounds like precious too few have pointed this character trait out (and agreed it can be done without framing it as though she "drove" her partners to cheat).

Also @110 - I love your disclaimer to those who have been played that it always says more about the player than the person who trusted them and got duped. So true. But damn, does that shit burn nonetheless.

Fubar @ 113 - "emasculated" is an unfortunately loaded term, especially for this comment board. It would be interesting to know if this word choice was NBFCS's, or the former partners'. Also though, did anyone else think it was kind of weird that NBFCS just * happened * to have follow up conversations with both of these men that entailed talking about TF's behavior? Is NBFCS just going around trying to dig up gossip fodder about TF? Admittedly I don't have a lot of friends who've gone through divorce, and I was definitely friends with one part of the couple more than the other, so the thought of engaging in conversations about intimate details of my friend's former partnership with their ex seems inappropriate and bizarre. Please someone help me out if you have a different perspective/experience.

Mrs Fox @115, that didn't strike me as particularly odd. If this friends group is close, it makes sense that she would have got close to the partners over the course of those relationships. They may have even all been friends before. Remember that NBFCS has personally witnessed this verbal abuse, and perhaps even offered sympathy at the time (after TF had left the room of course). It doesn't seem odd to me that she would have reached out to them after the breakups, if she felt sorry for them -- or even that they would have reached out to her, to offer their side of the story after TF dumped them and went around announcing why. You're right though that it's possible NBFCS just loves to meddle and gossip. Does it matter? I don't think so -- NBFCS has both sides of the story, however she got them, and an opportunity to try to get TF to address her behaviour. I hope she takes it. Though it is likely to be rejected, if a number of NBFCSes mention it over the years it may start to sink in. Or not.

@114 Fantastic Mrs. Fox: Thank you for the reminder on Dan's newest book coming soon. :)

Dan the Man, Ii look forward to buying a copy. :)

Harriet, if you out there.. I stand corrected. There is such a thing as Big Vagina Energy, stone carvings called ‘sheela na gig.’ Google will direct you to the Guardian article. These are carvings of women holding open their big big pussies, found over GB and Europe.

Emasculation....the exact gender opposite of my biggest uphill battle throughout life. I have to wonder how differently things would have been had I not been so hindered by defeminization through male-dominated societal suppression (often found in the U.S..military, and particularly where I was stationed). I was raised to be a good little voiceless, subservient doormat, forever shushed and stymied. How would my life paths have been had I grown up more emancipated and freer to openly speak my mind and pursue my career choices and passions if they had been more welcomely supported? Could I be exponentially more successful today?
I wish my mother had never blurted out that when she was pregnant with me, she had wanted a second son so that my older sisters and brother could have a kid brother. But instead of her highly anticipated two girls + two boys family equation, she and dad got three girls + one boy instead. So often I was looked down upon for not being a boy by contemporaries of my parents and grandparents, made to believe that I had to be 10 times better and smarter than my siblings.
I feel sorry for the two exes of the abusive female friend feeling they had to cheat to get out of their toxic relationships with her.

I can empathize with anyone who has been wrongfully misshapen, twisted, bent, and molded into someone they clearly are not by other people.

The term “getting into her pants” keeps coming up in this thread and coincidentally i’m now reading for the third time or so one of THOSE stories and it’s about this woman who takes things literally and tells the men she’s dating that before the first time they have sex they have to show her what they mean by getting into her panties by choosing one for themselves and wear it as she inspects them, and it’s not always a favorable review.
My intuition tells me that it was written by a woman who truly enjoys this kind of dynamic and it makes me feel slightly more optimistic about the future of humanity in general.
Good week to all.

https://www.amazon.com/Tales-His-Lingerie-Drawer-Stories-ebook/dp/B00RKOZVAI

(third story, “The Princess and Her Pantied Prince.”)

Happy Pi Day (03/14) and a good week to all.
Here in the Pacific Northwest spring is finally springing. :)

@121 CMDwannabe: I'm intrigued by your lingerie stories. Thank you for sharing the link.:)

Griz @122: 03/14 is also Steak and a Blow Job Day, falling as it does a month after Valentine's Day. For those who can't or don't care to receive blow jobs, the two celebrations can be combined into Eat My Pi Day.

@123: Marie Antoinette always hated Eat My Pi Day, as it was so much more popular than her idea.

@73: Mr. Ven, I haven't seen Prom, so I don't get the reference, but I infer that James Cordon's character plays someone who is sought-after and who behaves either rudely or spitefully.

It sounds like the premise for that movie starring Seth Rogan and Katherine Heigel (which I also didn't see). Hollywood seems to believe that unconventionally attractive men are irresistible to people who are are arguably much better-looking. And yet, when Hollywood has to show an "ugly" woman, they best it can think of is to leave her hair uncombed. Hence, Nastaja Kinski playing Susie the Bear in the film adaptation of The Hotel New Hampshire.

I read an article last month about people feeling guilt around being Covid-vaccinated, and so not saying so.

But fools rush in. I had the good fortune to get my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine 90 minutes ago. Even though I'm under 65, because California is now vaccinating people under 65 with risk factors. Which I learned had just become the case when I was surprised to get an invite from my HMO; I wasn't sure they'd properly coded me as such; I'm not even sure /which/ of my risks got me the vaccine. Looking forward to April 19 when two weeks will have passed since my 2nd dose.

Mazel Tov, curious2! What a relief it must be!

Curious @126, congrats! Damned if you do, damned if you don't it seems. I saw a recent chatter on Carolyn Hax's column implore people to stop "bragging" about having received the vaccine. Face meet palm.

Thanks gang!
It would be a lot worse to be someone announcing they refuse to get it.

I wish I was too young and too healthy to be vaccinated already. Covid will come and go, but I still won't be any younger.

It doesn't need to be bragging. I've been wondering how it felt, because I haven't been able to bear contemplating it. Maybe people, when they discover how they feel, just want to share their discovery.

I still don't really know how it will feel when it bears the fruit of it. I just know I've repeatedly felt like jumping up and down swinging my arms over my head like I was celebrating some momentous historic event like the end of a world war.

@131 I don't know how I feel about being vaccinated yet. I mean, I am glad. That's one positive step I could take to protect myself and my friends and loved ones. But I'm now two weeks past my second shot and still reticent to shed the industrial N-100 mask I've been wearing for a year whenever I step outside my home. A couple of these variants are potential, serious problems.

That said, it's no reason for anyone to avoid getting vaccinated. In fact, there's every reason to jump on any opportunity to slow the spread of this virus. Every new infection is a new opportunity for mutation.

I guess I'm waiting to find out more. I already have the mask, and a supply of cartridges for several months if I need them. So, there's no marginal cost to continuing to use it. And, because it's a powered mask, it's not even uncomfortable to breathe in. I'm already used to looking dorky, so that's not a burden, either. I just want to hear that my vaccination will protect me against these variants, or that the variants have died out.

Eh, the really cool kids who've already declared all monosexuality to be evil will probably give the chop to anyone who still feels binary. It reminds me of how Miss Brodie made it quite clear even while saying, "Modern and Classical, they are equal," when discussing which side of the Senior School her girls would choose that one would need an excuse as excellent as Eunice's for choosing the Modern side.

The variants are phase two. I read a couple months ago that a (they called it a 'booster') for the South African variant was going into phase one trials, based upon one of the mRNA vaccines. Apparently we can hope for that tool against South African-Covid this Fall. I'm optimistic that the tweak it represents will pass trials. I'm hoping that South-African Covid doesn't flare into it's own wild pandemic within a pandemic first.

So yeah, vaccinating everyone against normal Covid is just phase one, and precisely as you say one of the biggest goals is to avoid so many more mutations that more phases will not follow phase two.

Typing all this makes me want to beat Donald Trump to death with my bare hands. And all of his maskless zombies that run around shouting into people's faces.

BR @132, I think you wise to keep masked up outside. From my reading once vaccine is given, people shed virus particles as the body becomes immune.

These various strains are a big concern. Though having been saved by the oral polio vaccine, a disease which many many Australian children suffered with, as did many other countries’ children, I say we need to be patient. The vaccine will work it’s way thru.

@135: The vaccines do not carry any of the virus' actual payload. Just the bits that help it sneak into your cells. At worst you'll have one of those bits attach to one of your cells, but since it doesn't have any DNA to inject there will be no new viruses. Saying that the vaccine causes you to produce more viruses sounds like one of those things that antivaxxers just make up.

I still think it's a good idea to stay masked even after you get your vaccine. Immunity takes some time to build up. We're not sure how much of a wrinkle the variants throw into things. It's a good idea to maintain mask wearing norms until our case numbers look a lot better. And since no vaccine is actually 100% it won't hurt to have an extra layer of protection until we have the virus on the ropes. But the bit about shedding viruses post-vaccine is misinformation and I felt compelled to correct it.

@123 fubar: Steak and Eat my Pi Day---I love it! :)

@124 nocutename: Yep. Marie Antoinette was too busy stuffing her face with cake.

@126 curious2: Congrats on your Pfizers! I second nocutename's Mazeltov! I'm next (veterans over 55). my first jab is this Saturday through the VA. :)

@129 BiDanFan: You and Carolyn Hax have a good point. For me, I'm in a similar boat with curioius2---it's more of a relief to get taken care than anything to boast about. :)

@138L Ooops! Sorry, nocutename--I meant to attach a smiley face for you, too! Here it is. :)

I’ve been listening to Bobby Dylan’s bootleg version of ‘Blood On The Tracks’. It’s much more intimate and infused with feeling than the one released, has. Lyric changes too. Also, Kings Of Leon’s new album ‘ When You See Yourself ,’ is great.

Thru all the fear and grief, people keep creating. Yeah humanity!

Curious @131, when "I got vaccinated" posts started appearing in my Facebook feed, it gave me a sense of immense joy. Now that it's been going on for a while my emotion has changed to envy, and chomping at the bit to get one of my own! Especially as the progress is not linear, it's being handled by local doctor's offices, so while some areas are still vaccinating people in their late 50s others have managed to get to people in their 40s already. I hope I don't have to wait much longer!
Re CH's poster, I don't know if these people were "bragging" or, my sense is, they just mentioned it and this sourpuss got jealous.

Brooklyn @132, I think it's good to keep wearing the mask in public, not because of risk to yourself or that you are creating, but because it's important for people to still visibly comply until we are out of the woods. Has a maskless person been vaccinated twice or are they a Covid-denying asshole? No way to visibly tell, so I'm going to keep wearing a mask until everyone has had their jab.

Blah, it bums me out when the comments section turns to talk of covid. Though gleaning an international perspective on covid via SL comments has been eye-opening. The Americans among us got a raw deal, indeed.

That said, this elderly millennial is fully vaccinated as of Friday, thanks to a care providing job. But this elderly millennial has also been fighting tooth and nail to try to secure a vaccine for her nearly 80 year old grandma. The mind boggles.

Who would have guessed that it would turn out to have been a bad idea--for both the US and the world--to have a sociopath as POTUS during a global pandemic?

Griz@138~ "Let them eat cake" is the traditional translation of the French phrase "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche", said to have been spoken in the 17th or 18th century by "a great princess" upon learning that the peasants had no bread. The French phrase mentions brioche, a bread enriched with butter and eggs, considered a luxury food. The quotation is taken to reflect either the princess's frivolous disregard for the starving peasants or her poor understanding of their plight.

While the phrase is commonly attributed to Marie Antoinette, she did not originate it and she probably never said it.

Donny @145 - Too bad that got lost in the English translation. "Let them eat brioche" has a nice, oh-so-French ring to it (and maintains the attitude of ignorance/indifference of the original).

Also, I would argue that American English has far too rigid of a definition for the word "cake" compared to other English-speaking countries.

Mrs Fox @147, if you think that's bad, think of all the things British people call pudding! * lol *

BDF @ 147, I think The Simpsons once made a crack about "brain and kidney pudding" or some such thing while poking fun at British cuisine. Too many cakes and puddings on that side of the pond that aren't sweet and delicious!

Mrs. Fox @149: The words "British" and "cuisine" don't belong in the same sentence. British cooking evolved from serfs eating rats, mice, and the occasional crow (if they were lucky). They had to be made into puddings (using sawdust) to stretch them out and feed all twelve children.

@150 An evocative and imaginative take, but the word "pudding" in British English use is often just synonymous with "dessert." As in, "What's for pudding?"

Found the quote in its entirety (apologies in advance for any wonky formatting that may follow):

"Ooh, I can’t get enough of this blood pudding.” – Homer Simpson

“The secret ingredient is blood.” – Bart Simpson

“Blood? Eww. I’ll just stick to the brain and kidney pie, thank you.” – Homer Simpson

Why are we talking about British food? Clearly it's time for a new letter.

Brooklyn @151: Wikipedia says that "pudding" is synonymous with "dessert" in UK English, but Wikipedia is wrong. My large, extended family never referred to dessert as "pudding". We called it "afters", as did everyone I knew. Never "pudding."

But the English language is more varied within the British Isles than it is around the empire, so shrug...

@153 It's a class thing. Much of British life is stratified by class, and that includes the language, which in addition to class is stratified by region. I'm guessing your family is middle class and comes from the South (London? Oxford?). Working class in the Midlands or North is more likely to use "pudding."

Fun fact (though irrelevant): In the Northeast, where my SO is from, besides "pudding" for dessert, they use the word "bait" for lunch, a 12th century relic, and "gan hyem" for going/gone home. The dialect in that part is called Geordie and includes smatterings of Old English, Middle English, having been periodically raided by Vikings, Norse, and being adjacent to Scotland, Gaelic. For centuries, London and environs was limited in its communications with the hinterlands, and transportation somewhat limited for average commoners, so there are distinct dialects that developed in these isolated pockets.

PLAY, your mistake is you're trying to turn player into an unofficial fiancee or husband. You're only dating, which means you're both free to flirt with and date anyone you choose. That's what single people do. Why act married when you're not? That's putting the proverbial cart before the horse. You'll have plenty of time to live under the rules of monogamy, if you so choose, once you've matured enough to settle down and make the relationship "official"! Until then, you both need to have fun and live your lives to the fullest!