Who are you?
A crisp, juicy, and frankly enormous breed of nature's perfect food that combines the best elements of the Macoun and Honeygold strains, which are similar in many ways to McIntosh and Golden Delicious, respectively.
Where did you come from?
My parents were a team of scientists at the University of Minnesota's apple-breeding program, who performed the hybridization in 1960.
Why are you so motherfucking delicious?
That's an excellent question. I wish I could answer it with any authority, but guess what: I'm just an apple. What I can say is that my average weight is close to a pound, my flesh is white and insanely crispy, and my juice--well, you know how good my juice tastes. It's apple juice. If I had to name my best quality, especially among my lesser contemporaries in the world of appledom, I'd have to cite my consistency. Seriously, since you first noticed me at the Whole Foods and QFC stores, have you ever had a bad Honeycrisp? I thought not. You pay a little more, you get a little more. Simple as that.