We have once again exhausted every possible resource in our annual search for the most ice-meltingly, eye-crossingly, spine-tinglingly hot young humans in this cold city. Now we're happy to present this year's crop: broke, uninsured, and adorable young things who make you want to fuck like rabbits. The bar backs you want to bed. The take-out girls you want to eat.

Some people think our annual collection of Seattle's sexiest citizens is unfair. Why don't we recognize those among us who have achieved, in middle age, a kind of dignified sexiness? To these people we say, screw dignity. How about we recognize who's just plain fucking hot? Older people have money, power, and nice cars. Surely we can let the young have the few things they indisputably own: sexiness. Heat. Rabbit suits.

In addition to all the hot young people in this issue, we're breaking this paper apart at the seams to cram in all the free reader valentines we received this year. If you sent one in, it's probably in the paper somewhere. (Did you send thirty or forty? Then we had to cut some, sorry.) All your valentine has to do now is read through a million other notes about bunnies and honey bears to find the one you sent.

If you're not one of the lucky thousands who have a valentine--and if you're still burning mad about an old flame--don't miss The Stranger's Valentine's Day Bash on Monday, February 14, at Chop Suey. The single, bitter, and broken-hearted are invited to bring momentos of failed relationships--wedding rings, photo albums, stuffed animals, dinnerware, divorce papers, whatever--and Dan Savage will personally rip them apart, melt them down, chop them into confetti, and set them on fire. Live. Onstage. In a room full of sexy single people. Who just want to get a couple things off their chests before they fall in love again. Maybe with you. Don't miss it.

SEXIEST BAND GIRL

As any fool with a pair of eyes will tell you, the sexiest little number in local rock is Jenny Jimenez. She's the girl in the Catch with a bass guitar between her legs.

Would you ever make out with someone in the crowd at a Catch show?
I would have to (a) be single (b) be friends with the person and (c) have had a few whiskey gingers. At least that's what it took last time.

Do you think Seattle rock is sufficiently sexy?
Have you seen those Stabmasterarson boys? Rrrawr!

SEXIEST RECORD-STORE EMPLOYEE

Eli Anderson is synonymous with Sonic Boom--the indie record-store chain known for employing more than a couple eye-candy staffers (they hire musicians, what do you expect?).

Have any customers ever asked you out?
Yeah; when that happens it's always awkward. I'm not that forward, so when other people are it puts me in a weird space.

What bands do you think are sexy?
Serge Gainsbourge is sexy--for musical reasons, because he's not physically good looking. And Spiritualized. Laser Guided Melodies is the most awesome make-out record in the history of music.

SEXIEST BARTENDER
A Tie!

Within the dim confines of Chapel's former-funeral-home interior, Alyssa Rhodes stands out as a cheery deliverer of brain-cell-decimating goodness. She has bangs, she makes a mean drink, and her smile can make you drunk all on its own.

How often do you get hit on at work?
Not that often, actually. If I do, it's usually by a woman.

Has your job ever gotten you laid?
Never. That's a shame, isn't it? I guess I haven't gotten someone drunk enough to take home yet.

Joon Chavez has been working behind the bar at Linda's for two years. Lucky patrons can spot the tattooed dreamboat slinging drinks four nights a week.

What does your husband think your sexiest feature is?
He's told me a few times that I have a sweet ass. Ha! He's gonna kill me. Now everyone's going to come into Linda's to take a look. Really though, style and confidence are what make a person sexy.

Is it true you're opening a clothing store?
Yeah. It's going to be called Black Chandelier. It's going to be a Victorian punk store. And we're selling linens too.

SEXIEST DOOR GUY

Trey Lamont is a door guy at the Triple Door and a tae kwon do champion. He's 20 years old, six feet tall, and single.

What's sexy, in your mind?
Looks aren't sexy. I feel it from people. It's an aura. There is something about a person.

Do you get hit on at work?
I get my butt pinched a lot, mostly by women. When they've had a few drinks.

SEXIEST BARISTA

Liz Lohse makes coffee at Online Coffee on First Avenue, where she makes hearts race even without espresso.

Do sexy baristas make better tips?
Sure they do. I mean, you'd tip a sexy barista more, right?

Do you have any Valentine's Day plans?
Most definitely. They involve a jug of Rossi, Motel 6, and my Jamaican/Italian stallion.

What's the best way to pick up a barista?
To be honest with you, it's an unpredictable science.

SEXIEST LIBRARIAN

Mike Watt is the system administrator for the automated materials-handling system at the Central Library (hot!). He's out of place among the mostly dowdy staff and proletarian public.

What's the sexiest place in the Central Library?
Definitely the "lover's leap" on the 10th floor.

Can you recommend a sexy book or two?
Any physics or calculus book--I think math is sexy.

What will you be doing on V-Day?
After work I'll get drunk and try to forget about Valentine's Day.

SEXIEST MOVIE-THEATER EMPLOYEE

Laurie Lynch works at Meridian 16 and studies fashion design at the Art Institute of Seattle. She's easily the sexiest movie-theater employee in the city. It's probably her eyelashes. But that yellow tie doesn't hurt.

What's the sexiest movie you've ever seen?
Y Tu Mamá También. Gael García Bernal is so sexy.

What's the sexiest thing about working here?
You get to see all sorts of customers…. But the sexiest thing is somebody I work with.

I can't really say who.

SEXIEST HIGH-SCHOOL TEACHER

Girls at Bishop Blanchet High School in Ballard where James Nau teaches math have been known to stop him in the hall and ask if he has a girlfriend (he does). The reader who nominated him--possibly one of his students?--put it best: "I'd pay good money to see him with his shirt off."

Did you ever have a crush on any of your high-school teachers?
I work with most of them now, 'cause I went to Blanchet too. But not that I can think of, which isn't to say they weren't cool.

Do your students ever flirt with you?
I've been told that they do but I'm totally oblivious.

SEXIEST WAITER

Roxie Jane Hunt used to wait tables at the Longshoreman's Daughter until it closed last month. She has perfect freckles, crisp charm, and many admirers--another cool restaurant or bar should snap her up immediately (Larry at Hattie's Hat, are you listening?).

Do your customers hit on you constantly?
Sometimes… I've been given a few phone numbers. When I'm not into it, I tell them I'm a lesbian.

What will you be doing on Valentine's Day?
Probably playing my guitar or something pathetic like that.

SEXIEST BAR-BACK

Logan Neitzel is a bar back at Marcus' Martini Heaven in Pioneer Square. He spends his evenings lifting buckets of ice and bending over to clear tables.

Do customers hit on you at work?
Hell yeah. A 40-year-old woman tried to get her husband to pay me to take my shirt off behind the bar. I would have done it for free. But he wouldn't ask.

Where do you go when you go drinking? I hang out at the Whisky Bar, the Bad JuJu Lounge, Neumo's. I'm a fashion designer too. I have a show coming up in May. Ladies have to be fashionable to get my attention.

SEXIEST TAKE-OUT GIRLS

Stephanie Nguyen and her sister, Deim, work at the pan-Asian restaurant Ballet. They just celebrated their birthdays in Las Vegas and have been filling orders for pho and pad thai alongside their dad and little brother for the past five years.

Stephanie, do you and your sister get hit on at work a lot?
It's not too bad. We come in here looking like we just woke up! We actually hear from the girls a lot more than the guys.

Would you ever bring a date here?
I might drop in and have a quick bite to eat but I don't take dates here because my dad works here. He'd be watching me like a hawk.

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