Maybe the realization that the government is peeking at our search-engine queries has made some people reluctant to look up the answers themselves, but I get lots of people asking me to play BDSM dictionary for them, and sometimes I have to clear up some misunderstandings.
For example, bastinado is not a Spanish insult implying someone was born to unmarried parents. It means caning someone on the soles of the feet. This area can be quite sensitive, and it's an option for those who don't want their butts all marked up.
Breast press: not something you do at the gym. Instead, it's a device most often made of two pieces of wood, slightly wider than a woman's body, with an adjustable screw or clamp mechanism between them that tightens them down on the breasts. Works best on well-endowed girls, obviously. I've seen lots of homemade ones, and if you want to be really mean, you can line the inside with sandpaper or other evil things.
Figging: placing a piece of peeled ginger root into the ass or the vagina. It creates a tingling, burning sensation that some people find quite erotic. Make sure you leave a flange on the end so you can get it back out. I don't know why it's called "figging," because no fruit is involved.
Florentine flogging: a flashy two-handed flogging technique, with each hand moving in a horizontal figure-eight pattern. It's challenging to perfect, and tiring because of the higher level of concentration and physical effort required, but some bottoms like the near-continuous sensation that two floggers provide.
Humbler: a cock-and-ball bondage toy. A man is bent forward at the waist, legs apart. His scrotum is drawn back between his legs and a ring is placed around it. Attached to the ring are two rods, wider than his body, that go behind his ass. The wearer now cannot stand up straight without pulling painfully on his balls, so he has to stay bent over or crawl on all fours, hence the name.
Karada harness: nothing to do with the carotid artery. This is a rope harness that's tied around the body in a series of diamond-shaped patterns. You can do it over someone's arms and down their legs, but usually it's just on the torso, which is why it's sometimes called a rope dress. It looks pretty and is sometimes done just for decoration, or it serves as a base for more rope.
Milking, or prostate milking: lots of questions about this one. Milking can mean: to stimulate the male prostate gland, with a finger, a dildo, or an electrified probe—all without touching the penis—in such a way as to produce ejaculation without orgasm. Or it can mean to repeatedly induce male orgasm and ejaculation, in any manner, past the point where he finds it pleasurable. These are both physiologically possible, but neither is easy to put into practice. I personally have never witnessed a man ejaculate from prostate stimulation alone, although I haven't made a scientific study of it. (Precome doesn't count.) And while I've had men say they wanted to do a forced-orgasm scene, after one or two, maybe three, they usually beg off from any more.
Pony play: not BDSM involving a horse, but a scene where the submissive pretends to be a pony. Common activities include the submissive wearing a bit in his/her mouth, walking on all fours, and pulling specially designed carts or allowing the dominant to ride on his/her back, etc. Pony-play enthusiasts are often devoted to it above any other type of BDSM. Pony-play is distinct from a wooden pony, which is a pole put between a tied-up bottom's legs in such a way that he/she has to balance carefully on tiptoes or else rest his/her body weight on the pole, uncomfortably squashing the genitals.
Sound: A long, slender medical instrument, made of metal, designed to be inserted into the male urethra. It can be part of a medical role-play, but it's also done simply for the sensation and the psychological effect. Human anatomy being what it is, urethral-insertion-play is rarely done on women, but it's not uncommon for male bottoms. Although the word refers to the instrument itself and not the reaction, I find boys do often make some charming noises when the sound is inserted.
THE BEDROOM CLUB
Live burlesque shows, and pinup models to photograph. Suggested dress: pajamas or lingerie. Fenix Underground 109 S Washington St, 405-4314, 8 pm, ladies free.
BUZZCUTS, BOOTBLACK, AND BBQ
Let cute men shear you and shine you for charity. The buzzcutter will be the famous Patrick Bear, with bootblack Gregory LaRouxe and barbecue chef Corey Krantz. Proceeds benefit the Tony DeBlase Scholarship fund. Seattle Eagle, 314 E Pike St, 621-7591, 4–8 pm, 21+.
PANSEXUAL BDSM NIGHT: PANDORA'S DUNGEON
A much less structured event than other Saturday-night parties, Pandora's Dungeon is great for people who enjoy watching and being watched up close. Not the best night for a new or shy person. All genders and orientations welcome. Wet Spot, 270-9746 or firstname.lastname@example.org, 9 pm–3 am, $15, members only.
LOVE LOUNGE SEATTLE
'BONDAGE IS THE POINT' PARTY
For enthusiasts of the visual and sensual aesthetics of bondage, whether by leather restraints, mummification, or suspension in hemp rope. Wet Spot, 270-9746 or email@example.com, 6 pm–midnight, $10, membership required.
LOVER'S KNOT YOGA
Intimate, sensual, candlelit partner yoga class, with instructor Mishabae. Embrace in gentle yoga postures, learn massage techniques, and relax in the hot tub. Hengst Studio, 1506 Franklin Ave E, contact Mishabae at 919-6289, 6:30–8:30 pm, $25 per couple/$15 per individual.
FOURTH OF JUL-IVAR'S
Celebrate the kinkiest country on earth (eat shit, Germany!) with 300,000 of your fellow Seattleites at the annual fireworks blowout. (If your master won't let you out of your cage, you can catch all the explosions live on KOMO TV.) Myrtle Edwards Park, 3130 Alaskan Way W, 10 pm, free.