Every year in February, The Stranger hunts down and photographs Seattle’s sexiest regular people—sweet-cheeked mail carriers, hunky dog groomers, lusty fish-tossers... all the folks who make leaving the house worthwhile. This year we decided to hand that job over to our readers—we asked you to nominate sexy people you know or notice around town. You responded with photos of more than 300 hot men, women, and FTM/MTFs, and we sorted those, calculating sexiness based on a quasi-scientific formula involving chest-hair to nose-hair ratio, nipple placement, teeth shape, and the gut feelings of the horniest members of the editorial staff. Thanks very much to everyone who nominated someone, and props to all of you sexy, sexy nominees.
Now, without further ado, meet Seattle's sexiest people:
SEXY, SEXY SEX EDUCATOR
Twenty-year-old Evan Rodd is so sexy he was born with a porn-star name, a fact not lost on his coworkers at local sex emporium Babeland, who nominated Evan as Seattle’s Sexiest Sex Educator. Is Evan considering a sexual-harassment suit? “It’s not harassment if it’s consensual!” says Evan, a Seattle native who, when he’s not schooling the masses in sexiness at Babeland, pounds the drums for local new-wave darlings Breaker Breaker. A sex-positive, carnally knowledgeable drummer? Suh-WOON! (And, oh yeah: He’s voting Obama.)
SEXY, SEXY BURLESQUE DANCER
Fuchsia FoXXX is a sultry star at the Can Can Cabaret, and if you've seen her onstage or toting her pink luggage around town, you already know she's a hot-pink habanero who fires up ladies and lads alike. Fuchsia's fiancé, who nominated her, says Fuchsia's ability to be present in the moment makes her especially sexy. Ms. FoXXX is rooting for Hillary Clinton "because of the vagina thing," and is also a fan of red wine, juicy lip gloss, tight corsets, and high heels with bare legs. Her advice to ladies who want to exude sex appeal: "Apply lipstick (even when you don't feel like being 'colorful,' it can really help a shitty morning), masturbate, practice good posture, love who you are, don't care what people think, and try making your hair really big."
SEXY, SEXY GLASS BLOWER
Tomoko (aka "Coco") blows glass for work at Glassybaby, and for fun at Viscosity glass studio. Feeling extremely sexy, she nominated herself because, she says, "I'm also a pick-up artist for burlesque shows, a fetish performer, and a model. I think I'm the only glass blower who has done naked sushi." When asked if her profession adds to her overall sexiness, she replied, "What can I say? I blow for money. And I'm awesome at it." As to who Tomoko wants to be our next president, she's charmingly self-promotional. "I will have my art show in April at Art/Not Terminal Gallery. I want whoever shows up for my opening reception on April 5 to be the next president," she says, "because my art is very important for America!" And so is your sexiness, Tomoko.
SEXY, SEXY RETAILER
Sarah Scherer, the general manager of Red Light—the local thrift clothing chain—was "pretty surprised" at winning her hottie award. "I'm confident and I guess I know I'm attractive because people tell me I am, but 'sexy' I feel means naughty. I'm not outlandish." Sarah, 30, reports that when she found out she won from her friend Luna—a Red Light coworker who nominated her—she couldn't believe it: "I asked, 'Are you sure? Pinch me.'" Sounds pretty naughty to us! When her boyfriend found out she won sexiest he said it was "well deserved." We agree. She can pinch us any time. She thinks Obama is the sexiest presidential candidate.
SEXY, SEXY TELEMARKETER
Holly Chernobyl may be Seattle's sexiest telemarketer, but she's so much more than that. "I am a Dumpster diva, art fag, dirt femme, performance artist, and sex bomb," says Holly. "I have an awesome art studio called Pantyhose Junction in Pioneer Square, where I host an art party every Friday night." As for the unusual name: "I was fascinated with the apocalypse, and I read a version of the Bible where the comet that hits the earth is called Chernobyl. My middle name is Virginia. Holy virgin." And what makes her so sexy? "My wit, creativity, and enthusiasm—or the fact that my ass is TOTALLY BANGIN'. Everybody is Holly-amorous." Holly supports "our underwater overlord Cthulhu" for president.
SEXY, SEXY BARTENDER
Amber Davis was selected by a regular, Liz Danger, at the bar she manages, Finn MacCool's. According to Amber, Liz told her about the selection in a "drunken haze." Amber has been with the popular University District bar for about five years and, in general, is happy to be where she is in life. On the politics tip, Amber, who is a Republican, and not at all happy with the way things are going in America, is considering giving Obama her vote in the 2008 election. As for Hillary, she doesn't like her one bit.
SEXY, SEXY BOUNCER
By night, Luke Dorsey—a solidly undecided voter who leans Democrat—works at Noc Noc and the Last Supper Club. He doesn't kick people out at closing, he "cajoles" them out the door "with his charming smile," says Erin Virginia, who nominated him—and who's his girlfriend. Is that cheating? Dorsey thinks for a second. "No, I guess a nomination is a nomination," he says, his voice partly obscured by the sound of hammering. "And yes, I'm in a barn right now." Days, Dorsey builds horse barns up and down the Eastside: Redmond, North Bend, Enumclaw—"anywhere there's still trees." If that isn't sexy, nothing is.
SEXY, SEXY CUSTOMER SERVICE REP
Arielle Davis spends her days purring seductively into the phones at the customer service department at Amazon.com. When Arielle's not charming the pants off of customers, she's putting her feminine wiles to work on her coworkers. Arielle was nominated by a former officemate, but she modestly claims it was "just a joke." "She did it with me right next to her laughing about it," she says. "I didn't think I was going to get a call back about it or anything." While Arielle didn't plan on being one of Seattle's sexiest, she plans to vote for Obama in '08. "He'd have to do something pretty bad for me not to vote for him," she says.
SEXY, SEXY DRUMMER
Tae Rhee, the guy who nominated Jarred Grimes as the Sexiest Drummer in Seattle, had three words when I asked him what about Grimes makes him the sexiest in the city: "Tall, dark, and handsome." Currently, Mr. Grimes is out of the country, on tour with his band Throw Me the Statue (sorry, ladies—and admiring gentleman—he won't be in town for Valentine's Day), but Rhee assures us that he's not only incredibly attractive, but he's a sweetheart as well: "Jarred and the rest of the guys from TMTS are wonderful friends." Rhee is rooting for Obama.
SEXY, SEXY BIKE STORE EMPLOYEE
AK Bennett, proud Obama delegate and Recycled Cycles employee, doesn't know who nominated her, but she suspects it was one of her male coworkers. As the only female clerk at the shop, she says she's "constantly getting more attention from female customers than my male counterparts"—not that you can blame them. AK, who has nine tattoos, rides a Kona Honky Tonk road bike and a custom lime-green and pink one-gear, both of which she built herself, which is sexy as hell. And she always wears a helmet "because safety is sexy."
SEXY, SEXY MANAGER
Joshua Meacham is a store manager at Ian downtown and a certified Obama guy. "I feel like he's going to unify our country," he says. "I like the Clintons, but I think they're a little bit shady and corrupt." Joshua is wearing classic shrink-to-fit Levi's as he says this. "I think it's a very sexy piece of clothing. I wear them about four times a week. It's just a really, really nice, flattering, sexy fit." Also nice: "My smile. It's aesthetically pretty good."
SEXY, SEXY DRYWALLER
Jacob used to be a bartender at the Eagle, where nominator D. Michael took this photo. "Jacob is sexy because he doesn't seem to know he's sexy, or at least doesn't act like it," explains D. Michael. "Somewhat quiet and from what I gather pretty smart, he exudes a confidence that is attractive without being overbearing. And while he has a pretty rockin' body—it is his smile that puts it over the top." Jacob didn't return our e-mails, but he told a Stranger photographer over the weekend that he's got a new gig putting up drywall. Which is hot.
SEXY, SEXY BARISTA
You wouldn't know it just by looking at Annie, but Seattle's sexiest barista also talks like your grandma. About her adopted city, Annie says, "Seattle is supersexy. I'm from the Midwest, and I came here and felt like, holy moly! This city is nothing but sexy people." Holy moly, this girl's adorable. Annie works at Online Coffee Company, and agrees that coffee shops can be sexy, but as for herself, she demurs: "I'm pretty dorky." This flyover flirt says she can't decide between presidential candidates: "I'm on the line between Obama and Hillary."