Comedy is pretty much my main squeeze, my number-one lady, and (to quote Jim Walsh's slutty secretary on Beverly Hills, 90210) my "sweet and sour baby lamb," so I'm totally behind anyone who's trying to make funny jokes happen. But it's a stony path, comedy, and here's the thing: Most people aren't funny. And most funny people aren't good at comedy. And unfunny comedy is the fucking worst.
That's why, even though I totally support the idea of What the Hell Did I Just Watch?, the comedy "Anti-Film Festival" at the Rendezvous, it juuuuuust wasn't my favorite thing to sit through. I'm sorry! I really am! The dudes at the door couldn't have been sweeter. They handed out free beers, and they didn't get mad at me for being late (I had to tear myself away from a drunken postcaucus party), and I think it's totally commendable to give aspiring comedians and moviemakers a forum in which to display their work. Comedy is a process and everyone has to start somewhere.
But there's a reason why I don't go sit in the front row at open-mic night every week: The painful adolescence of budding comedy careers isn't necessarily something I want stinking up my psyche. Out of the 10 or so WTHDIJW? submissions on the night I attended (it's different every time) I only actually laughed at two (Kevin Cease's Blake Lewis Is Shitting in my Bathroom, and Fruit Heaven by Black Daisy, who are brilliant even at their least brilliant).
As for the rest, most had good, solid ideas, and you could see the process behind them. Someone was watching To Catch a Predator with his pals, and then Joey was all, "Wouldn't it be funny if, instead of a creepy old dude, it was, like, your grandma?" and then everyone laughed ("DUDE, that is sick, dude!") and then Scooter was like, "Dude, you guys, we should TOTALLY film that!" And then they did. To Catch a Grandmother. Ta-daaaaah! Are you even listening to me?
If you want to go to WTHDIJW?, the final show (Sat Feb 16 at 7 and 8:30 pm) seems like a good bet. It's the "Best of the Fest!" which means that earlier festgoers, like me, have voted on our favorites and cut out the stinkers.
Because, you know—much like that episode of 90210 when Brenda starts hanging out at the coffeehouse and doing "standup comedy," but then just when she's about to drop out of school her "performance artist" friend's furniture gets repossessed and Brenda realizes that there's no money in jokes—just not everybody is cut out to do comedy. Some of you are stinkers.