The Stranger's SIFF Know-It-All Quiz
(CONTEST) C'est arrivée. The long-awaited opportunity for a couple of lucky movie snobs to win full-series passes to this year's Seattle International Film Festival (which opens tomorrow, btw) happens TONIGHT AT 9 pm sharp at... Seattle Central Community College. Latecomers will be turned away. No whiners. If you studied the cheat sheets printed in the last two issues of The Stranger, show up tonight and report to rooms 4156, 4160, and 4168. Don't forget to bring two No. 2 pencils. Prizes will be awarded to the highest and lowest scores. If you want to do some last-minute cramming the cheat sheets are available online at www.thestranger.com/specials/cheatsheet.html. Good luck, suckers. SEAN NELSON
SCCC, Rooms 4156, 4160, and 4168, 1701 Broadway (at Pine), 9 pm.
Three Ring Circus
(MUSIC/DANCE/THEATER) Northwest Asian American Theatre's AFest 2001 comes to a close with a three-in-one opportunity featuring gay-themed performances by three up-and-coming artists. Byron Au Yong offers a new musical work called Circus, which includes architectural, ceremonial, and dance elements; Lee Swee Keong presents her new dance piece Woman Born from Dragon; then there's the piece that sounds most intriguing to me, Lot from Andrew Kim, a part-puppet/part-clown retelling of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah using found objects, songs, and a pack of matches. BRET FETZER
Northwest Asian American Theatre, 409 Seventh Ave S, 340-1445. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 4; $12 general, $10 students/seniors. Through May 28.
NW UFO/Paranormal Conference
(CONVENTION) If you want to learn about Mt. Rainier's UFO launching pad, the code of the Great Pyramids, or what a Sasquatch smells like, check out this weekend's Northwest UFO/Paranormal Conference. For TV fans, there will be plenty of Dark Angel and X-Files discussion groups. And for those of you who remember Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Ark of the Covenant will be discussed in detail. Proceeds from the four-day conference help fund UFO and paranormal research in the Northwest. If you can handle SeaTac for a couple of days and want to meet strange people in robes who suspect you're a government agent, go check it out. PAT KEARNEY
Doubletree Hotel, 18740 Pacific Hwy S, 329-1794 or www.seattleartbellchatclub.com for schedule info.
Around the World in Super-8
(FILMS) Satellites 2001, Seattle's other international film festival, kicks off with a wild weekend at the Little Theatre in honor of Super-8, the cinematic star that video supposedly killed years ago. Not so, as this two-night extravaganza proves. Tonight features the works of Portland's Tiny Picture Club, a collective of raving movie freaks that will present a pile of sci-fi. Tomorrow brings a touring show of films from all over the world, replete with live music, bingo, sing-alongs, and door prizes. So if you can't get into SIFF (either spiritually or physically), it's not like you don't have festival options. SEAN NELSON
Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 675-2055. See Movie Times for details.
The Angry White Male Tour
(FREE SPEECH EXTRAVAGANZA) Explicit, raunchy, and guaranteed to be just about as offensive as humanly possible, the AWMs take aim at conventional pieties and watch jaws go slack at their unbridled fury. This stop of their West Coast tour includes a "white-trash variety show" (according to one source) on Friday at the Ballard Firehouse, which may or may not include the Brawlin' Broads (women beating the crap out of each other), Reverend Randall Tin-Ear, and Jim Goad ("self-professed woman beater" and low-browed, glowering-eyed author of The Redneck Manifesto), and a book-and-'zine signing on Saturday at Confounded Books. There's more to it than hate, however. The tour includes Mike Diana--who was sent to jail for his "obscene" comics and asks real questions about freedom of speech--and Goad, who wants to know why it's socially acceptable to say things about rednecks that you could never say about any other ethnic or socioeconomic group. Even though much of the AWMs' art, performance, and video might make the most open-minded of people (like me) queasy, it would be a very, very bad idea to ignore them. EMILY HALL
Friday: Ballard Firehouse, 5429 Russell NW, 784-3516, 9 pm, $8. Saturday: Confounded Books, 3506 Fremont Ave N, 545-0744, 2-4 pm.
Sideways Stories from Wayside School
(THEATER) Though Seattle Children's Theatre aspires to produce plays that all ages will enjoy, it doesn't always succeed. But Sideways Stories from Wayside School is flat out one of the most delightful pieces of theater I've seen anywhere--well written, genuinely funny (and subtly subversive), with a delirious set and spectacular special effects. The class on the 30th floor of Wayside School is plagued with no end of trouble: a nasty teacher who turns students into apples, a former hypnotist turned class counselor, rats disguised as new students, and the mysteriously missing 19th floor. The excellent cast is crowned by the ever-charming Katie Forgette, who turns the potentially cloying wacky substitute into the teacher you wish you could have had. I don't care how old you are--go. BRET FETZER
Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 & 5:30; $14.50-$22. Through June 10.
Imperial Teen, the Turn-ons, Ruston Mire
(LIVE MUSIC) As always, there'll be lots of silly fun to be had when Imperial Teen plays the Crocodile tonight. Though no new record has been released since 1998's What Is Not to Love, the band has apparently been writing songs for a forthcoming LP, and the likelihood of some of them being played is high. No word has been given as to what those songs might sound like, but if their first two records were any indication, expect bubble-gum power pop laden with bright, silly backing vocals and a precious, self-effacing blend of downtown/uptown posturing happening onstage. Also expect lots of overzealous gay boys packed in up front clamoring for the attention of either of two muscled frontmen, who are like a pair of Glenn Danzigs for the gays. JEFF DeROCHE
Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-5611, 9:30 pm, $10.
(LIVE MUSIC) David Byrne is one of those singers who actually croons, even though crooning is not in general the province of his genre. But then, genre is a dirty word to Byrne, whose Luaka Bop label very publicly (via an editorial in The New York Times) exploded the notion of "World Music," beginning in 1988 with a series of albums of Brazilian music and moving through countries at whim's whimsy. Byrne's sure-to-be-great Crocodile performance tonight is already SOLD OUT, but if you have the money you may be able to buy your way in via the scalpers; or, you can remain true to Luaka Bop's spirit and gather in the Crocodile's alley, raise your face to the stars, and dance, dance, dance. TRACI VOGEL
Alleyway behind the Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-5611, 9:30 pm.
(DJ) First Broken Beats and now this. Although the Monday night phenomenon started a little after Pornstar's inception, it's Tuesday nights that are starting to get the attention, and it's well deserved. Where else could you get your groove on with the likes of Serge Gainsbourg, Jane Birkin, James Brown, and Marlena Shaw? Add to the mix European soundtracks and breakbeats? It would be wonderful if not cataclysmic for Seattle's newest "breakbeat era." The fledgling night is getting its groove on thanks to rotating guest DJs and a growing following, but the night's benefit is DJ Free, the man behind the concept. You never know what to expect, with the exception of loose grooves and eclectic vibes. Plain and simple: Pornstar is fly, funky, and downright fresh. F. VENTURA-PENA
Nation, 1921 Fifth Ave, 374-9492, 10 pm, free.
(FILM) Every once in a while there's a bit of serendipity that makes a person want to rejoice. It can't be a coincidence that the single greatest surrealist rant against consumption ever filmed, Jean-Luc Godard's Weekend (1967), begins a one-week run the day after the opening night of the single greatest (and surrealest) act of annual cinematic consumption this fine city knows: the Seattle International Film Festival. And while it's unlikely that Godard had SIFF in mind when he made this absurdist diatribe, the analogues are unmistakable. Weekend's most famous image--the audacious seven-and-a-half-minute traffic jam--recalls the lines that wrap around the block all SIFF long, not only for the congestion, but for the fact that the cars seem to be there almost voluntarily, despite their incessant horn-honking. When a hitchhiker claiming to be God offers a horrible couple anything they desire, all they can think of are designer dresses and expensive toys. The inevitable response ("You'll get nothing!") makes you wonder what the deity would say to people like us, who, offered the bounty of limitless freedom in the glorious spring, cloister ourselves in movie houses, seeing as many SIFF films as we possibly can. SEAN NELSON
Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St, 523-3935. See Movie Times for details.