Ahoy, mateys! Ishmael McGee the salty seaman here. Iâve been adrift on the Pacific fer the last three decades, so pardon if me communicatinâ skills be a tad rusty. Anyhoo, my olâ whoremongerinâ buddy A. Birch Steen roped me into scribblinâ some balderdash about this lilâ festival ye blasted landlubbers throw every year called Bimboshot⌠er, Bumbershoot. Arrrr, gotta lay off the grog before noon.
Now, back before ye were born, Steen and I gave the Rat Pack a run fer their hell-raisinâ money. Letâs just say we knew how to have a good timeâsome of it was even legal. And apparently a good timeânay, maybe the best time everââtis what the nice folk at Bumbershoot have planned fer ye blessed hedonists.
Aye, I am, as ye youngâuns say, out of the loop. But I went to the library and had one of them nice librarians log me on to the internets, and she called up that pretty Bumbershoot page: www.thestranger.com/bumbershoot. Lordy, my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. What a glut of entertainment! What ye call âpopular cultureâ done exploded somethinâ fierce while I was squanderinâ me life on a godforsaken ship.
Aye, from the looks of things, every newfangled musical style will be on display at Bumbershoot, so no need to carp. That upstandinâ young man who said President Bush doesnât care about black people will be headlininâ the Mainstage on Sunday, and I fer one will be tappinâ my pegleg to his hippityhop songs. While I was harpooninâ whales and workinâ on my cirrhosis, a whole new genre of music called ârapâ done surfaced and took over the world, it seems. A Tribe Called Quest, Atmosphere, Common Market, Lady Sovereign? Sounds like a rip-roarinâ good time. Blondie, the English Beat, Jamie Lidell, Deerhoof? Never heard of âem, but they sure seem interestinâ.
On top of all that racket, there be theater, visual arts, poster arts (Flatstock), artsy-fartsy movies, home-ec workshops, beer gardens (thank Neptune), enough food to send a pod of whales into a coma, and comedy. Iâve never seen these Tinkle upstarts, but ainât no way they could be funnier than Don Rickles or Buddy Hackett. Still, Iâll keep an open mindâand gullet.
So, a toast to Bumbershootâs organizers fer their Herculean efforts to make yer Labor Day weekend one fer the history books and another to The Strangerâye whippersnappers be all right fer a bunch of godless pinko shirt-lifters. This here guide ye scallywags assembled made my head spinâor is that the grog? Ooohhh, JayzusâŚ
That good enough, Steen, ye merciless bastid?