BURN IN HELL, YOU GRINCHY FUCK
To the asshole who had the audacity to walk onto my front porch, open the box that had been delivered to me, and steal my Christmas presents--I can only pray that your holidays are worse than you have caused mine to be. Imagine my excitement when I come home from work and see a huge box next to my door. Then I realize that it has been ripped open by your greedy, selfish, holiday-ruining hands and is completely empty. The state of my box mirrors the state of your soul. I hope you rot and spend the rest of the season feeling absolutely horrid knowing that you spoiled my night. And next time, for god's sake, at least take the box, fuckhead.