Cannabis Farmers Market Tacoma

Stroll among the harvests of the Northwest's best pot farmers at the Cannabis Farmers Market, which is free and open to all legal Washington State medical marijuana patients. In addition to show-offy bud, CFMs also feature free samples, a patient lounge, and DJ Arch spinning wellness-enhancing tunes. Cannabis Farmers Markets and Sacred Plant Medicine home office, 1912 Center St, Tacoma, 11 am–5 pm. Repeats monthly; see www.cannabisfarmers markets.com for upcoming dates.

Visit the Cannabis Defense Coalition Online

The last time we did one of these calendars, it featured several events hosted and/or hyped by the Cannabis Defense Coalition, "a nonprofit, nonpartisan membership organization devoted to reducing the harms associated with drug use and advocating sensible, science-based drug policy." But since September, the CDC's Cannabis Resource Center has been closed, due to a high-drama combination of "hazardous materials contamination caused by neighboring contractors, and repeated, ongoing, intentional contract breaches by our landlords." In the meantime, they're piecing together replacement venues for their events, and you should regularly check their website: www.cdc.coop.

Cannabis Farmers Market Seattle

See the blurb to the left for the Tacoma Cannabis Farmers Market? This is the same thing, only in Seattle, on a Saturday, and in the evening. In addition to leafy greens, you'll find a cornucopia of edible medicines. (And DJ Arch.) 923 S Bayview St, 6 pm–10 pm. Repeats monthly; see www.cannabisfarmers markets.com for upcoming dates.

Muppets™, Music & Magic: Jim Henson's Legacy

Queen Anne's refurbished Uptown Cinema hosts a two-week tribute to the man who's given more pleasure to potheads than Phish and Pringles combined: Jim Henson, the miracle human whose brain gave the world the Muppets, those miracle puppets that were cute but never cutesy (okay, rarely cutesy—thanks a lot, Elmo) and will be splattered all over the big screen in a variety of guises. Among the delights: curated collections of Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, the fantasy classics The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, all three original Muppet films, and a showcase of Henson rarities. SIFF Cinema at the Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave N; full schedule at www.siff.net.

Thanksgiving

Celebrate your heritage and give thanks for your good fortune by gorging on whatever the fuck you want and as much of it as you can handle. Your country demands it. Your dining room, preferably after 1 pm.

Dina Martina Christmas Show

Performances by the psycho-drag superstar make normal people feel drugged and send stoned people straight to heaven. If you haven't seen her, Dina Martina is kind of like Mary Poppins, if Mary Poppins spent 30 years eating the insides of sofa cushions and sleeping in a ditch. Dina Martina sings, dances, talks, and shows videos, and it will blow your mind. Re-bar, 114 Howell St, www.brownpapertickets.com, Fri–Sat only, 8 pm, $20, 21+.

Super Bowl XLVI

You don't have to care about football to watch the Super Bowl. What matters are the commercials, where the greatest advertising minds in the world bust their humps to dazzle America. Nowhere else will you see such intense strategizing go into 30 seconds of film. Plus, a lot of the ads suck, so get stoned and point and laugh. At the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana, and on televisions everywhere.

Purple Haze: A Jimi Hendrix Tribute

Dude. Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave NW, www.ticketweb.com, 9 pm, $12/$15, 21+.

The Kerblillionth Annual Academy Awards

If you've never gotten baked and watched the Oscars, you're an idiot. Oscar night is when stars pay back the adoration (or at least attention) we lavish upon them, by offering themselves up for a grueling obstacle course of potential humiliation: a formal event broadcast live on television that is also a competition that demands instant public speaking from winners. It's glorious—the world's most beautiful people running across a minefield. Bonus: The 2011 host is Eddie Murphy, who literally has no shame. At the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, and on televisions everywhere.

As all pot smokers know, 4/20 is the national pot holiday for numerous reasons, all of them factual. Pass the bong.

Dine Out for Life

Fact 1: Medical marijuana makes an incalculable difference in the lives of many people living with HIV/AIDS. Fact 2: Stoners love to eat. Celebrate both of these facts by Dining Out for Life. Today, more than 150 restaurants donate a portion of their daily sales to the fight against HIV and AIDS in the Puget Sound region. Check out the list of participating restaurants, find a place you've been dying to try or revisit, and take yourself out for a glorious meal for a great cause. See participating restaurants at www.diningoutforlife.com/seattle.

Contrary to potheadular belief, not everything should be done while high on marijuana, including (but not limited to) driving, babysitting, "planing," internet gambling, shopping at Costco, and attending Ingmar Bergman film festivals.