Bumbershoot: It's my Labor Day thing. Each year I ensconce mon petit derriere in the Bumbershoot VIP room for four days and eat my own weight in tabbouleh. When the urge gets strong enough, I waddle out to hunt the odd band and/or the cute hippie girls who sell the happy brownies. My vote for the best Bumbershoot '02 performance: the greasy hobo doing an interpretive breakdance to Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive" at the Seattle Center Skee-Ball machines. Second best: manly Jimmy Kimmel of the manly, manly Man Show singing Neil Diamond's "Heartlight" on the monorail en route to the event (to see Jewel, I bet). "All his friends were shaking their heads and pointing at him as if to say 'not me, man!'" according to "Antonio," who witnessed the occurrence.

Life is rich.

Not so rich, however, that the bizarre and fretful rumor I recently caught wind of involving singer/songwriter John Wesley Harding has one stinking shred of truth to it (sorry, "MBlack"). So forget it. And that desperate call I put out requesting dirt on the bisexual (read: fruitier than a roll-up) TV star who's keeping a rent-a-boy up here? Turned up nary one stain of real evidence. So you can forget that too.

So. Seattle Times columnist Jean Godden reports that Stranger editor-slash-perennial smart mouth Dan Savage isn't kicking his man Terry to the curb--Dan simply bought a condo from actor John Corbett so he can write another (damn) book free from the chaos of their child-friendly home. Must be nice. (Have I ever told you what they PAY me here?)

And please don't get the idea that I read Jean Godden. Someone TOLD me. But I've also noted that she mentions Dan in her column (which I don't read) A LOT.

I think she wants him.

I, on the other had, write about John Corbett a lot.

OH! The SCANDAL! Each year the sexier Washington state firefighters oil up and pose sexily for a calendar; proceeds go to the WSCFF Burn Foundation (www. firefightercalendar.org). And each year the Seattle Gay News (which I don't read) does a big, oily write-up about it. (Someone TOLD me.) But when SGN reporter Albert Rodriguez rang the models up for comment, a few tripped out at his gayness and succinctly told him to hightail his faggy fanny to h-e-double fire poles, and now there is "controversy"! Lucky thing gay people are fireproof, and never, ever buy shirtless-fireman calendars.

adrian@thestranger.com