Several shell-shocked witnesses report that Jennifer was at Ten Mercer recently, auditioning (yes... auditioning!) for a herd of label reps. Reviews of her performance ran the gamut from "She sounded like every other Jewel wannabe on open-mic night" to "Her main talent is filling out a sweater." In the plus column, though, they say she showed up to the gig three (yes... three!) hours late, so there might be a little bitty smidge of rock star crammed somewhere deep down inside her after all. But by the time she finally dragged that wretched haircut through the door, most of the label folks had hit the highway.
Let us speak of it no more.
Our next anonymous, unverifiable, unsubstantiated report features an encounter with the creative driving skills and legendary temper of one of Seattle's better-known newscasters. I can't reveal too much, and I am definitely NOT saying that the words "weaving," "squealing," "screaming," and "post-menopausal" were used in this report. I'm also definitely not saying that this sighting has anything to do with Jean Enersen.
Alan Cumming read from his new novel, Tommy's Tale, on the UW campus last Sunday. Those who were present claim he's a good author, but I just can't take him seriously--not since The Anniversary Party. Here's the scene: Alan--tarted up in a floral sarong as he trips on Ecstasy--is arguing with his WIFE about their MARRIAGE. I KNOW! Cracks me up every time, too.
Remember my report last week that J.Lo was house-hunting on Queen Anne? No word on a purchase yet, but did you know that Miss Lo is scheduled to become Mrs. Ben Affleck next Valentine's Day? It's official. And did you ALSO know that Ben's proverbial bun is at this very moment baking in J.Lo's proverbial oven? That's what I hear! So the question is, will Ben, Miss Lo, and their offspring supplant the Dave Matthewses as Seattle's most famous family?
