Dear Adrian,
I've never written to you before, but I saw one of the sexiest men in Hollywood, Harold Perrineau Jr. , on lower Queen Anne twice in the last week--once in Easy Street Records, and then grabbing a Stranger out of the box outside of Larry's Market. --Thanks, "mm."
Dear "mm,"
Oh, hell, darlin', don't be blue--I've never written to you before either. But did you know that Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman have broken up? Yup. Five years down the crapper. I know. I'm devastated.
Dear Adrian,
I rode the elevator to the monorail at Westlake Center with Jimmy Kimmel and his scary girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, and his kids. I listened to them talk about his favorite ride at Disneyland: Pirates of the Caribbean. --Katie
Hey Katie,
Kimmel and company were also spotted at the downtown Walgreens. And did you know that Edward Norton and Courtney Love used to, like, fuck? (The proletariat calls it "dating.") I guess it was common knowledge back whenever, but I'd clearly driven the image from my mind like Irish snakes. But some story I read somewhere about Ed insisting that Courtney check her wretched ass back into rehab because she is, as we say in the industry, a screeching cow, has wedged a cruel crowbar into my subconscious and set the dark memory free to torment me. And I like the Pirates, too, but the Haunted Mansion is my favorite.
Dear Adrian,
I simply love what you've done with your hair, but this is the second time this summer you've opted to use an easy Q&A letter format. What the fuck? Are you on vacation, in a coma, or simply overwrought? I'm horribly disappointed in you. --Adrian
Dear Adrian,
Piss off. Who the fuck are you to judge me?
Anyway, listen to this: Prince William invited Pink to play at his birthday party, as if he couldn't download her only two good songs on MP3 and then forget about her like everybody else. But the prince has just returned from a successful dik-dik hunt in Kenya. (A dik-dik? That's a dik repeating itself.) Pink does not like dik-dik hunts. "Hopefully you'll have a change of heart and find more interesting things to do with your spare time than kill animals. Then maybe I'll come play at your next birthday," responded the smart-mouth bitch, clearly needing to learn her place and to count her blessings that modern British royals are hunting antelope and not colonists, East Indians, Protestants, and/or Catholics, as was once custom.
