Britney Spears, whose famous ass has lately waxed wider than a portly pig potpie on a full moon in May, enjoys the pungent, singular aroma of marijuana, which explains everything. "I love the smell of it, it's really awesome," she reportedly just said while touring the magical cafes of heavenly Amsterdam's red-light district, which pretty much reiterates what I just said exactly. Redundancy is, of course, a sure sign of the so-called abuse of the pot.

Yes, redundancy. Is indeed a sure sign. Of the pot use. Redundancy.

That my secretly beloved Dolly Parton is a down-home, banjo-plucking, blackberry-jam-jarring mountain dyke is a gloriously possible fact that somehow escaped me entirely. Until now. At which point rejoice. (Yay!) "We have always slept together since we were kids," is how Dolly reportedly explains why she's still sleeping in the same bed with her close personal friend and assistant, Judy Ogle, to the critical satisfaction of nobody really. The explanation is particularly unsatisfying to Dolly's husband, Carl Dean, as he apparently almost went Deliverance on Dolly's hard candy Christian ass when she informed him of her high and firm determination to celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary nowhere near him, instead choosing to remain close, personal, and indeed possibly friendly with the, let's face it, really dykishly named assistant. Judy Ogle. (Eesh.) "It's Judy or me," Carl said. Dolly, apparently, made the aesthetically contemporary choice.

It's a gorgeous world.

Chris Cornell, who looks like Dave Navarro but isn't, married his wife, who was just lately only his girlfriend, Vicky Karayiannis, who is also not Dave Navarro. They were already legally conjoined in a probably not Kabbalistic wedding ceremony in L.A. only recently, but did it again anyway. In Paris this time. Dave Navarro could not be reached for comment.

Yes, redundancy.

Britney Spears was reportedly in a fantastic mood. When she said all that junk in Amsterdam. Did I mention that already?

Andy Dick was just arrested. Yes, misdemeanor pot possession. This marks the second time he's been charged with this weedy and particular offense; an offense so particular and weedy that it reflects just about exactly upon reports that Whitney Houston is now behaving so not-drugged-out-and-totally-batshit that she's allowed to wander around her rehab--to which she was scooted back after emerging dreadfully under-rehabbed the first time--without benefit of a chaperon.

Yes, redundancy. Also, repetitiveness.

The Seattle International Film Festival press kick-off brunch happened last week, which means SIFF is also about to happen. The event served delicious bacon. More SIFF updates as catering unfolds.